Happy Monday, Razzball faithful!

We’ll start with a quote today, and I swear it connects to the title.

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

Now, I don’t know who said it, but I’ll assume it wasn’t Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, or Clayton Kershaw. Maybe it was George Bernard Shaw?

And, no, that last dude wasn’t a center fielder turned DH in the twilight of his career.

Sure, there are benefits of being on the “right side” of 35. Waking up in the morning without the snap, crackle, and pop as soon as your feet hit the floor is one of the things I miss most.

But the perks of being a seasoned veteran at life? Oh, yes. There are a few.

Growing out a lovely, flowing white beard and perfecting the silver fox look? Check!

Having a youngster flash a smile and a “After you, sir (or ma’am)”, as they hold a door open for you? (It’s weird at first, but still pretty funny if you’re not all that far past the 40 mark).

Your favorite hip hop and alternative rock songs suddenly appearing on Classic Rock radio stations? Uh huh.

But one of the best perks is finally being able to admit that yacht rock isn’t just an acceptable choice for easy listening; it’s a part of a healthy auditory diet for venerable folks everywhere.

Sure, this is a long-winded way to get to our lede today, but I’m also sure you expect that kind of thing from me by now.

We don’t have much Michael McDonald or Hall & Oates to run with, even though a certain Atlanta Braves oldie was a Maneater last week.

Chris Sale hopped on the mound and took a ride like the wind in a complete-game shutout of the LA Dodgers with 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 0 BB, 11 Ks. And if anyone is counting, he threw one of THE best games of his career…at AGE 37!

I nearly went with the lengthy title of: “Christopher crossed up The Avengers bats for his 13th win, and went Sale-ing away to an even bigger accomplishment”, but ran out of characters in the title box up there.

But what I found just as cool as any yacht rock throwback was this gem that the camera caught as our grizzled veteran made his way back to the mound in the 9th inning (sans walker, cane, or motorized scooter).

Chris Sale's son when he saw him coming out for the 9th Inning. 🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/CTG2jmo8fY

— Rob Friedman (@PitchingNinja) August 28, 2026

No DNA test necessary – check out the shoulder twigs on this little man. He’s gonna be throwing a nasty slider in 10 years.

I can speak from experience when I say there’s nothing quite like seeing your own kid pumped up with excitement and cheering you on from the sidelines. Sale probably could have thrown another 50 pitches after this.

Maybe some folks think Chris Sale is overrated or not worthy of a Top 5 spot. But by now we should be well aware of one driving force behind any criticism of the Top 100 Starting Pitchers list.

Remember, it doesn’t matter “What A Fool Believes”; it’s what he (or she!) sees.

This dude is pulling his best Benjamin Button aging backwards, but does anyone see that Chris Sale is worthy of the SP1 spot this week?

Well, before we get to that answer, let’s not forget about the Razzball tools. The Razzball subscriptions are well worth the price of admission. This should be your go-to reference for the entire season. That resource that the other “experts” from other sites use as often as they look at Statcast or Fangraphs data? This is it.

Let’s get to it!

The Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2026

MARMO RANK	Name	Team	Notes
1	Jacob Misiorowski	MLW	6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.73. I’d ask which number would be higher – his win total or the age that he appears to be, but he’s at 14 dubs now, so that question has already been answered. Because he looks like he’s 12.
2	Tarik Skubal	LAD	6.0 IP, 4 hits, 1 ER, 7 K, and no decision in his return to Detroit. If there’s one thing those Motor City Tiger fans hate now, it’s Tariffs, I mean Tariks.
3	Chris Sale	ATL	More above!
4	Yoshinobu Yamamoto	LAD	6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.56. Every time I look at other lists, he’s always ranked lower than I have him here. But if you’re a regular reader, you know Yamamoto has always been my Yoshi-Yes-Boo!
5	Dylan Cease	TOR	6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, 9th win. Last week’s lede just keeps on truckin’. Anytime this guy can limit walks and let the strikeouts take over, it’s lights out for the opposition.
6	Cam Schlittler	NYY	5.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 5 BB, 8 K, 12th win. What a nice kid. He must have felt bad for his northern rival and matched the five free passes Dylan Cease gave out two weeks ago!
7	Chase Burns	CIN	3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.77. Frequent commenter TarmanGotHim shared in last week’s post that Chase Burns killed Tarman’s head-to-head matchup with this start. It’s a perfect example of how we can roll out the best lineups and still end up disappointed. Starting pitchers are not easy to predict. Even the top-tier ones. Sad emoji. Game 2: 5.2 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 7 Ks, and his 15th win. Hopefully those H2H playoff matchups are still on!
8	Blake Snell	LAD	5 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 3 BB, 10 Ks, and no decision. Snellzilla versus the Tigers. Sounds like a failed black-and-white Japanese horror film from 1957.
9	Gerrit Cole	NYY	6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.19. Get it? Got it! Gerrit? Good!
10	Drew Rasmussen	TB	6 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.95. This was a nice boost to my confirmation bias. (I almost moved him down a couple spots last week in a final edit but kept him where he was.) Game 2: 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 2 BB, 6 Ks, and no decision. This one went to 11 innings, and I don’t know Drew personally, but I’m sure he’d apologize for burning his head-to-head playoff teams.
11	Cristopher Sanchez	PHI	7 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 8 Ks, and NO DECISION? Against the ANGELS? Come on, Phillies, get your bats out of the trash!
12	Logan Gilbert	SEA	Game 1: 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.36. Not quite an official quality start, but a good one nonetheless. Game 2: Rinse and repeat. 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 4 Ks, and his 8th loss. He got Mad Maxxed in Toronto.
13	Logan Henderson	MLW	7.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 0 BB, 7 K, 9th win, ERA at 2.31. I’m going to be fully transparent and say that I’m getting mixed up between Logan Henderson and Kyle Harrison. The good news (if you roster either player) is it’s because both of them are freaking awesome.
14	Zack Wheeler	PHI	4 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 3.40. It’s mean to say he’s been ugly for a while now, so let’s just say he’s been “aesthetically challenged” and leave it at that. Also, it’s tough to believe he’d be anything but an auto-start, but I’d be checking matchups for him at least until it looks like he’s figured it out. Game 2: 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks, and his 11th win. All he needed was a trip to Angel Stadium to give us a good bounce-back from Wheels.
15	Paul Skenes	PIT	6 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.79. More importantly, his fastball was back up over 98 MPH. He might not be ‘fixed’, per se, but anything good is good news here.
16	Jacob deGrom	TEX	3 2/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 4.21. So much for that 10K outing last week being a sign that he’s all good and turning a corner.
17	Gavin Williams	CLE	1 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.98. Oh boy. And he only gave up one walk, so we can’t even blame this one on his control. The two homers allowed with just four outs? Uh, ya. That’s more likely the culprit. When it takes 62 pitches to get 4 outs…that’s no good.
18	Payton Tolle	BOS	5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.09. A youngster quality start for the guy who looks like your high school bus driver. I’m glad I have him in a keeper league because I have a feeling he’s going to be pushed way up draft boards next year and priced out of my comfort zone.
19	Jesus Luzardo	PHI	7 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 3 BB, 9 Ks, ERA 3.09. This one was good for his 12th win. He’s 6-1 in his last 10 GS.
20	Cade Cavalli	WSH	Game 1: 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.21. The CC strikeout factory is gonna make you sweat ‘til you bleed. Is that dope enough? Indeed. Game 2: 4 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 3 BB, 8 Ks on 70 pitches and OH NO. He was removed from the game after getting drilled in the leg on a comebacker. Monitor the news for the X-ray results.
21	Parker Messick	CLE	Game 1: 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.50. Is it possible for a guy to be underrated, but still have Top 20 SP numbers? If so, this guy fits the bill perfectly, right? Game 2: 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 5 Ks, and his 11th win. This morning, Grey said he’s around 25th overall on the Player Rater. Insert Larry David “pretty good” gif here.
22	Tyler Glasnow	LAD	Game 1: 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.02. Mr. Glass is picking up right where he left off, even if it feels like he left off three years ago and hasn’t pitched since. Game 2:  7 IP, 1 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 6 Ks, and his 4th win. He’s like a real-life game of Operation. It’s a lot of fun while it’s going well, but one wrong move and…BZZZZZZT!
23	Sonny Gray	BOS	5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.82. He lost, but he pitched well enough that he would’ve nailed down his 17th win if the Red Sox could have figured out how to score a run off of Ryan Gusto and notorious Miami bullpen villain, Victor Vodnik.
24	Sandy Alcantara	MIA	Game 1: 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.38. It took me a while to get past the irritation when Sandy-fans were gushing over this guy as a top-tier ace who was a near shoo-in for a Cy Young. I’ve come to accept that he’s not that guy, but he’s a really good SP2 if you can lock him in as that. Game 2: 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 H, 1 BB, 3 Ks. Not as good as his first start of the week, but still not terrible. And this was at WSH, so cut him some slack.
25	Troy Melton	DET	7 IP, 3 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.86. This dude is going to be a 2027 first-round pick in every Michigan-based draft.
26	Max Fried	NYY	He’s BACK! 3.2 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 1 BB, 4 Ks means he’s not all the way back, but this is still a good thing!
27	Logan Webb	SF	6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.72. I sat him for this one (vs CIN) because (a) He got crushed in his previous start, (b) I was bock bock chicken, and (c) there is no C.
28	Braxton Ashcraft	PIT	6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.59. The strikeouts haven’t been eye-popping in his last few starts, but that he’s still been dealing is a huge plus. The 155.1 IP have more than doubled last year’s 69.1 innings, so there’s reason to be cautious, but I’m running him out each week until he looks like he’s out of gas. Game 2: 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 3 Ks, and his 14th win. We’ll take the youngster quality start and a handful of Cy Young votes to go, too!
29	Hunter Brown	HOU	6.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 10 K, 4th win. Finally a vintage BrownTown start. Now let’s build on it this week (vs CWS).
30	Shane McClanahan	TB	5.2 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 10th win, ERA at 3.24. It’s obvious that I don’t roster him anywhere when I see the double-digit win total and immediately think, “He started enough games this year to win 10 games?”
31	Bryan Woo	SEA	4 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.36. I hate it. And I hate that I checked the box score and thought, “Well, maybe they’re on the road.” Spoiler: They were not on the road.
32	Nolan McLean	NYM	7 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and his 10th win. That’s four straight quality starts. He’s a must-start for me vs SF this week.
33	Kyle Harrison	MLW	5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.79. Another youngster quality start!
34	Reid Detmers	ANA	Dumper. But I blame that on the Angels. More below.
35	Carlos Rodon	NYY	4.2 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, 1 BB, 5 Ks, and his 3rd loss. The good news is he’s increased his pitch count in each of his three starts since returning from injury (66, 76, 88, respectively). That question is how long do we have to wait for those 7+ inning outings that we’re used to seeing here? He’s at SD this week, so we should get our answer soon.
36	Eury Perez	MIA	3.0 IP, 2 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB, 5 K. I said it before. He’s gonna be an ace…in two to four years.
37	Eduardo Rodriguez	ARI	Jumper. More below.
38	Kevin Gausman	CHC	Game 1: 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.37. I wonder if he FaceTimed with Shane Bieber beforehand and Biebs said, “Just close your eyes and pretend you’re still pitching with your friends.” Game 2: 5 IP, 5 ER, 6 H, 2 BB, 7 Ks, and his 8th win. When your opponent gets hit harder than you do, it’s a nice opportunity to take a cruise to the iVictory coast!
39	Sean Burke	CWS	Dumper. More below.
40	Nick Martinez	TB	6 IP, 3 ER, 7 H, 0 BB, 4 Ks, and no decision. Half of his starts have been quality starts. Pretty sick, Nick.
41	George Kirby	SEA	7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.02. He was on the free agent list in one of our RCLs, and I looked at him three times before I added two other guys instead. In other words, I knew he’d get smoked if I added him or have a game like this if I didn’t. You’re welcome!
42	Jared Jones	PIT	4.2 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, BB, 6 K, and his 6th loss. *long, exhale and disappointed sigh* I can’t wait until next year when I draft him everywhere again. At least his price will be good.
43	Foster Griffin	CLE	5 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 4 Ks, and no decision. He gets DET this week ($7.8 on Streamonator).
44	Michael King	SD	7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.23. It feels like I like this arm a lot more than others do and, depending on where he ends up next year, I can see myself drafting him earlier than others would.
45	Shota Imanaga	CHC	5 IP, 6 ER, 8 H, 1 BB, 4 Ks, and his 10th loss. One of these days I’m going to listen to Grey and admit that Imanaga is the Japanese word for ‘volatile and unpredictable’.
46	Kyle Bradish	BAL	Dumper. More below.
47	Trevor Rogers	BAL	5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.38. Looks like Mister Rogers fell asleep on the trolley tracks.
48	Ian Seymour	TB	5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.21. We talked about this a bit in the comments last week, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Rays messed with this guy and Griffin Jax’s innings the rest of the way. It’s good for their long-term health, but not good for your head-to-head playoffs.
49	Jose Soriano	TOR	7 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 6 Ks, and his 11th win. It’s nice to see a couple of walks and not a half dozen; that’s for sure. It’s also nice to see the Blue Jays come back and win a game after being behind in the 6th inning, too. As for Soriano, he’s at CLE this week.
50	Ranger Suarez	BOS	Game 1: 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 3.35. Hey, just ask the D&D nerds. Rangers are supposed to walk. (And to be completely transparent, that ‘nerd’ tag is not meant to be disparaging. Let’s remember it’s coming from a fantasy baseball writer). Game 2: 5.1 IP, 6 ER, 9 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, and his 4th loss. The Red Sox got hammered 16-1 in this one, so I guess it could’ve been worse?
51	Jackson Jobe	DET	4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.93. Only one earned run is enough to get the Jobe done.
52	Jake Bennett	BOS	6 IP, 0 ER, 3 H, 0 BB, 7 Ks, and his 9th win. If you started him at Yankee Stadium on Saturday, you have bigger pants grapes than I do. Congrats.
53	Robbie Ray	SD	5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.21. I don’t know whose walk line I’m more scared to check each week, this guy’s or Bubba Chandler’s. But it’s always a healthy exhale when that BB total is three (or lower). Game 2: 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and no decision. Limit the walks and keep putting those wet pants in the dryer on the “extra hot” setting. That’s the Robbie Ray two-step key to success.
54	Joey Cantillo	CLE	5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (7 BBs), 1 K, ERA at 3.72. Oh, boy. Wednesday night streamers were not kind. If you heard a loud BOOM, that was most folks’ WHIP numbers blowing up.
55	Walbert Urena	LAA	3.2 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 5 BB, 3 Ks, and no decision on 89 pitches. See, Angels fans? I told you not to worry! You’ve got “Jose Soriano: The Sequel” right there!
56	Mackenzie Gore	TEX	3 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.40. I’m sure there are worse feelings than not really believing in a starter, but finally buying into the opposing opinion, streaming him, then watching said SP fall on his face, but it still stings to watch.
57	Noah Cameron	KC	6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.98. I’m still waiting for that inevitable implosion start, but that hasn’t happened in over a month (July 19th), so he’s in the clear. I’m starting him at home vs MIA. Up a bit.
58	Taj Bradley	MIN	6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.97. What’s the earned run to strikeout ratio that makes things acceptable? Could he have allowed 6 ER and struck out 12 and it still would’ve been ok?
59	Shane Drohan	MLW	5 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 6 Ks, and his 7th win. He had a nice battle with Cal Quantrill and came out on the right side of it. “Imagine pitching for a team that can score runs!” – sorry, that was a Reid Detmers quote.
60	Michael Wacha	KC	8 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 10 Ks (personal/career best), and his 3rd straight win. Our AL-only trade deadline was yesterday, and guess how many trade offers I had for this $1 keeper. Hint: it’s the same as the number of earned runs and walks he gave up.
61	Tyler Mahle	ATL	6.2 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, 0 BB, 9 Ks, and no decision. I’ll take that RCL stream!
62	Bubba Chandler	PIT	5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.26. It’s fine, but it’s not the Hubba that we expected from this Bubba.
63	Kade Anderson	SEA	4.1 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, 3 BB, 3 Ks, and no decision. I didn’t watch the kid pitch because I was watching my own kid pitch, but like most kids, there was some growth here. Baby steps.
64	Matthew Boyd	CHC	6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.99. I’m out there fiddling around with the Kyle Bradishes of the league, and the marshmallow tossers are putting up quality starts on someone else’s roster. Sad emoji.
65	Nick Lodolo	CIN	Dumper. More below. And bring the Polysporin.
66	Clay Holmes	CHC	Jumper. More below.
67	Peter Lambert	HOU	5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.66. I need to get over the annoyance of seeing 5.2 IP and not 6 IP.
68	Casey Mize	SD	5 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 1 K, and no decision. So Mize is in San Diego. Skubal is riding the wave in L.A. Where’s our guy Matt Manning to complete the trifecta of former Tigers wunderkinds? If you guessed the Samsung Lions in Korea, you win an over-the-internet high five. First Tigers, now Lions. I hear he’ll be signing with the Osos Asesinos (Killer Bears) in the Mexican Baseball League this winter.
69	Cal Quantrill	TEX	6 IP, 3 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 8 Ks, and his 5th loss. This one broke a personal two-game win streak, but he threw a solid game against a tough Brewers offense. He’s in today.
70	Freddy Peralta	TB	7 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.11. This is what we were looking for. He’s not fixed by any means, but it’s a small nudge in the right direction. Baby steps.
71	Jacob Lopez	ATH	5.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 6 K. Dan Pants pointed out on Saturday that Lopez has a 35/8 K/BB and a 2.48 ERA in August. I’ll echo his words and say that Lopez should absolutely be rostered until the wheels fall off again. I think I was too aggressive last week when I slotted him in at SP64, so his move today was more of a correction than a result of anything he did wrong. (DOWN)
72	Dustin May	MLW	He had to leave the game after he took a come-backer off the, uh, back, er…monitor the news for now. At least it isn’t a shoulder or elbow injury. Game 2-ish: 4.1 IP, 4 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and his 9th loss. Mayday! That move to MLW was not as magical as we hoped. Hey, at least that comebacker from Game 1 didn’t send him to the IL.
73	Tanner Bibee	CLE	6.0 IP, 7 hits, ER, 2 BB, 5 K, and his 14th loss. AND he has a 3.58 ERA and a 1.16 WHIP. Maybe the Guardians’ former closer pooled a bunch of the players’ cash together and bet that Bibee would lose 23 games. Either that or these guys really don’t want to score any runs for him for some other reason.
74	Will Warren	NYY	Game 1: 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.39. Well, he’s the last one standing after the Warren/Weathers storm, but I don’t know if an injury-aided decision should count as a win. Game 2: 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 7 Ks, and his 9th win. The magic was flowing in one direction on a Sunday at Yankee Stadium as Warren got 15 more runs than he needed from his offense. Meanwhile, Reid Detmers is crying in a corner of Angel Stadium. He’s UP!
75	Shane Baz	BAL	5.2 IP, 2 ER, 5 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and his 5th win. If a Baz wins in the woods… or in Sacramento… and no one is around to see it, does anyone really care?
76	Brandon Pfaadt	ARI	6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.51. I can give y’all my PayPal address so you can send me $25 a week to write up a lede pitcher who your head-to-head opponent is starting. Cash curses for sale!
77	Christian Scott	NYM	5.1 IP, 1 hit, 3 ER, 5 BB, 2 K. I know it’s tough to make bold predictions for next year at any point, let alone this early, but if the Mets take off the kid gloves and let this kid go all out, he’s going to be a big-time breakout next year. He’s up today, but it’s more of a reflection of the talent than any faith I have that he’ll go 6+ innings anytime soon.
78	Andrew Painter	PHI	Jumper! More below!
79	Brandon Young	BAL	7.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 4 K. He’s giving us solid innings and has been one of the better cheap FAAB adds of the year. That said, he’s at COL this week, so tread carefully!
80	Keider Montero	DET	5.1 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 3 Ks, and no decision. I kind of love that he matched Blake Snell pitch-for-pitch in this one. Sure, he had a lot fewer strikeouts, but getting through that Dodgers lineup more than once and allowing just one earned run is a solid start.
81	Landen Roupp	SF	5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.25. This one broke a personal sewage streak of 5 straight losses, so good for him, I guess. But it was also at home against a Marte-less ARI, so let’s take this with a Giant grain of salt.
82	Zebby Matthews	MIN	Game 1: 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.86. Zeb’s not dead, baby. Zeb’s not dead. Game 2: 8.1 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, 0 BB, 5 Ks, and his 9th win. The best start of his young career. Up we go!
83	Michael McGreevy	STL	5 IP, 7 ER, 10 H, 2 BB, 3 Ks, and 2 home runs allowed. I will admit that I haven’t watched many Cardinals games this year, so asking an actual fan like JKJ would be a better choice if you want the low-down on St. Louis arms. But this kind of line tells us all we need to know about putting a lot of faith in these guys. I hope he didn’t burn anyone too badly in a H2H playoff matchup. It was at home vs. BAL, so I know I would’ve fallen into the trap if I had him rostered anywhere.
84	Andrew Abbott	CIN	3 IP, 7 ER, 8 H, 2 BB, 1 K, and his 10th loss. So, if a control guy gives up a bunch of hits, three home runs, and over half a dozen earned runs, but only walks two guys…is it still a decent start? (Now where’s that sarcasm emoji?) Down.
85	Kyle Leahy	STL	3 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 3 Ks, and no decision. It sounds like an ‘innings management’ issue here, so that’s the good news. The bad news? Uh…he only threw three innings?
86	Patrick Sandoval	BOS	5.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, 4 BB, 7 K. He lost his third game here, but it could have been so much worse. I was too chicken to start him at Yankee Stadium, but that offense isn’t as scary as it could be without Aaron Judge and Giancarlo. That said, he couldn’t avoid a Cam Schlittler matchup, hence the loss. I’m starting him this week at home (SEA, then LAA – next Monday).
87	Ryan Johnson	LAA	5 IP, 1 ER, 2 H, 5 BB, 2 Ks, and no decision. This one was against the Phillies and Cristopher Sanchez. For the record, I had him on the list earlier this week when I was writing things up to get ahead. This start solidified the move up.
88	George Klassen	LAA	5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.67. I said last week that I need to prune the list a bit and make room for these kinds of guys. He’s in today.
89	Framber Valdez	DET	6 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, zero Ks, ERA at 4.35. Solid in those no-strikeout leagues! Barf emoji. Game 2: 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 5 Ks. Just enough to convince the folks who still roster him to hang on (and to ignore that this was also his 10th loss).
90	Grant Holmes	ATL	5.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, BB, 3 K, 9th win. Streamonator doesn’t like him at WSH this week, though (-4.0 R$).
91	Bryce Miller	SEA	Revealed he’s been pitching through a lat injury for a month. Awesome. Maybe give us a heads up before we run you out there in fantasy leagues for a month?
92	Janson Junk	MIA	1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, 0 Ks on 8 pitches? In the 8th inning? And he picked up a hold? Wtf is going on here?! He’s started 19 of the 20 games he’s appeared in, so maybe this is just a weird one-off, but it’s worth monitoring if you’re counting on him to give you some innings in a deep league matchup. Game 2: Don’t worry, the relief appearance was just a scare. 4.2 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, and no decision.
93	Robert Gasser	MLW	Was called in to replace Dustin May after May boomeranged a pitch and got nailed. 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.59 is pretty solid for a “Surprise! You’re pitching in 3 minutes! Go get warmed up!”:
94	Luis Castillo	CWS	4 IP, 4 ER, 8 H, 1 BB, 1 K, and no decision. Apparently, when Castillo rubbed an old lamp in the clubhouse, the genie misheard his wish. “Make me awesome for my starts” became “Make me awesome for my August 12th start and none of the other ones”. Hey, cut the guy some slack. I’m sure it’s tough to find an ear doctor when you’re stuck in an old brass lamp that Jerry Reinsdorf had in a cabinet stuffed behind NBA trophies for the last 30 years.
95	Connor Prielipp	MIN	5.1 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 5 Ks, and no decision. Phew. Just enough to convince me to keep him on the list instead of cutting him (like I probably should have two weeks ago).
96	Shohei Ohtani	LAD	The report was that he might pitch yesterday, but then he reported he didn’t feel great after his bullpen session, so any plans for him to throw yesterday AND this Tuesday were scrapped. If you have him as one of those weird ‘only SP’ guys, leave him on the bench again this week.
97	Martin Perez	ATL	5.2 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 6 Ks, and no decision. Maybe, someday, I’ll look at Martin Perez like I look at Bryan Woo. (And maybe, someday, I’ll win $33 million, too!)
98	Anthony Kay	CWS	4.2 IP, 4 ER, 6 H on 99 pitches and no decision. Ah, come on, Anthony. If you gave up just one more hit, I could have referenced Ice Cube with a “AK-47 is the tool! Don’t make me act the Martha Stewart fool.” On second thought, maybe it’s better this way.
99	Cody Bradford	TEX	5.2 IP, 3 ER, 9 H, 2 BB, 0 Ks. Oh boy. No strikeouts and a bunch of hits? We’re low enough in the list here that it opens me up for blasts of criticism. Then again, if anyone is going to come at me with a, “You have Cody Bradford at SP99, and you don’t even have Ethan Pecko in there? Ha! What’s wrong with you?!” I think the complaint is easy to deflect.
100	Gage Jump	ATH	6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.69. This kid is clinging to the list by his fingernails. I can’t argue that it was a solid start, though

JUMPERS (Players who jumped up the list this week).

Eduardo Rodriguez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.50. I know it’s become a joke to ask how high is too high with this guy, but come on now. If he were to jump into the Top 30 today, would he look out of place? Top 25? That’s crazy-talk, right? Well, as a quick reference point, he’s the SP18 on our Player Rater (Season to Date), nestled right in between Cade Cavalli and Sandy Alcantara. Now where’s that eye-popping emoji?.

Clay Holmes – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.26. No need to pray for Clay. He’s been solid since his return, and that Cubs rotation is going to be scary if they all get on the same page and sneak into the playoffs. He gets a bit more of a boost today because he’s a two-start arm this week (vs MLW, at MIA).

Andrew Painter – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 6 K.Back-to-back quality starts mean he should be in there this week, but I needed to keep a spot open for Max Fried. He’s right there and should jump in next week if the at ARI start goes well on Wednesday. 

EDIT: The Emerson Hancock deletion makes room for one more guy today, and it was between this kid and the resurgent Max Scherzer. I’d be starting him at ARI this week anyway, and the back-to-back quality starts mean he’s in now.

DUMPERS (Players who dropped down the list this week).

Reid Detmers – 6.0 IP, 8 hits, ER, 2 K, ERA at 3.54. Wow! What a solid line! That must have been enough to net him a win, right? Well, in a word, NO.

Take a look at his last four starts and tell me how many wins this should have netted the 27-year-old lefty.

That looks a lot like a 4-game winning streak, right? Well, thanks to anemic offensive support, Detmers won just his 4th game of the year in that stellar span.

Imagine throwing 26 innings, allowing just 2 ER, 19 H, 5 BB, and striking out 24 batters, and picking up one victory for your efforts.

Woof.

As I said above, this is more of a Dump because of the Angels’ ability to help Detmers boost his win total. At this point, he’s not even going to get to 10 wins. 

Sean Burke – 3 IP, 2 ER, 2 hits, 8 BBs (!), 3 Ks. Ok, White Sox fans, you’re not gonna like this, but your boy’s August line looks like this: 5 GS, 24.2 IP, 13 ER, 22 H, 13 BB, 5 HR allowed, 21 Ks, and a 4.74 ERA. 

He threw 19 innings in 2024. Then he pitched 134.1 innings last year. This year, he’s now just three outs away from the 150-IP mark.

As I said, you’re not going to like this, but get ready to rip the Band-Aid off. Take a deep breath and repeat after me…Shut. Him. Down.

Emerson Hancock – Placed on the 15-day IL yesterday with a left abductor strain. I’ll take the high road and not add an NC-17 Star Wars pun here (or will I?). This isn’t ideal news for those of us who roster him and were hoping for a boost in the rotation for the playoff push, but it’s good news if you roster him in a keeper or dynasty league. 

He threw a TOTAL of 150.2 innings over the past two years. Shutting him down now that he’s already at 138.2 IP this year is a good thing for a young arm’s long-term health. (And, yes, I hated typing that while thinking of a Roger Clemens vs. Pedro Martinez clip I saw last week where each guy finished the game with over 120 pitches.)

I’m not saying he’s done for the year, but resting him up for at least 2 weeks means it’s time to look elsewhere if you have a short bench.

Nick Lodolo – 4 IP, 4 ER, 6 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, and a new grip on his curveball so his fingies don’t get water bubbles. Oh, Nicky Blisters. What are we gonna do with you? 

If Vin is bored, I have a stat quest for him (if he chooses to accept it).

How many DL/IL appointments has the dynamic duo of Al Leiter and Nick Lodolo had throughout their respective careers? Which guy missed more days due to “watery digits”, and which one is in the lead for the blister title?

I’ll have AI make up an award with a trophy shaped like a giant eruptive boil for the winner.

Or…maybe not.

Kyle Bradish – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.03. YEP! I’M SO GLAD I SAT GEORGE KIRBY FOR THIS GUY LAST WEEK! NOW SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON AND THE HASHTAG FOR THE SACRASM THINGY.

STUMPERS (These names might stump you as to why they aren’t on the Top 100…yet. Some of these guys are close).

Blade Tidwell

Robert Stock

Hayden Wesneski – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.86. If you need a good starting pitcher, or a guy whose name rhymes with a fictional 1970s radio news reporter from Cincinnati, you can call the WesNes-man.

Jameson Taillon 

Tyler Phillips 

Bailey Ober – 5 IP, 1 ER, 2 H, 2 BB, 5 Ks. Nope. I’m not even checking it. But I made a mental note to check next week if he does this again.

Eric Lauer 

Kyle Freeland

Slade Cecconi 

Zac Gallen 

Chris Bassitt – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.74. Come on, Baltimore. Pass him through waivers so the Jays can pick him up for the stretch run. Game 2: 5.2 IP, 5 ER, 8 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and his 6th win. 

David Peterson – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K.

Adrian Houser

Rhett Lowder – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 5 K, 6th win.

Tanner Gordon

Tomoyuki Sugano

Colin Rea

Jose Urquidy

Sean Manaea – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.55. I’d say Manaea is a Ma-No-Ah, but that sounds a bit too much like a former Blue Jay ace. Yikes.

J.P. Sears  

Walker Buehler – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 H, 0 BB, 3 Ks.

Matthew Liberatore – 5.2 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 2 BB, 9 Ks is a decent enough line. But it wasn’t decent enough to dodge his 13th loss of the year.

Aaron Nola – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.03. He’s been good for a while now, but I still can’t do it.

Brady Singer

Seth Lugo – Game 1: 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.61. No go on the quality start, but it’s still a ratio boost here. Game 2: 3.2 IP, 9 ER, 9 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, and his 8th loss. Uh…about that ratio boost.

Bryce Elder – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.95.

Grayson Rodriguez – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.03.

German Marquez

Kumar Rocker – Game 1: 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.41. Game 2: 3 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 4 BB, 7 Ks. He’s on the waiver wire in my AL-Only keeper league. And he’s been there for two weeks now. That should be all the information you need to know here.

Dean Kremer

Hunter Dobbins 

Randy Dobnak – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.92. This had better not turn into another one of those Martin Perez things. 

Zac Thornton – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.88. The strikeouts are about as “meh” as it gets, but he’s throwing well for the Mets – and that part feels like a miracle in itself. Game 2: 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 5 Ks, and no decision.

Drew Anderson 

Carson Whisenhunt

Mitch Bratt – 4.1 IP, 3 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, and his 3rd loss. No word if this Bratt threw a temper tantrum afterwards.

Max Scherzer – Game 1: 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 7.02. I saw a clip from his start last week where Brandon Valenzuela challenged a pitch that was called a ball, and Scherzer didn’t even break stride on his way off the mound. It was overturned and called strike three, while Scherzer said to the dugout, “This is the kind of (shizz) I have to deal with.” I mean…that’s fine, and I’m glad he’s pitching well again, but what about the other 5 BBs? Game 2: 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 1 BB, 10 Ks, and his 2nd win. An unreal start by Mad Max, but an even more unreal statistic added to the stellar start. Scherzer passed Gaylord Perry and moved into 9th place on the all-time strikeouts list.

J.T. Ginn 

Andrew Alvarez – Game 1: 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.72. It could have been worse, but it wasn’t a good RCL stream. Game 2: 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks, and no decision. I guess this is the stream I wanted instead.

Ryan Gusto – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.98.

AJ Smith-Shawver – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.93.

Gabriel Hughes 

Cristian Javier – 4.1 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 4 Ks, and his 5th loss. He followed an opener.

Quinn Mathews – 5.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 7 K, 1st win.

Jackson Kent – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 4 BB, 3 K, 1st win.

Spencer Arrighetti – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.81. Hey, at least he started this game and didn’t follow an opener.

Randy Vasquez – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.02.

Elmer Rodriguez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.70.

Ethan Pecko – 5 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 4 Ks, and his first win. Insert San Diego field pun here.

BUMPERS (Injured starters or minor league guys who could or would bump others off the list if they were active on the big league roster).

Kris Bubic

Justin Wrobleski

Max Meyer

Jack Flaherty

Reynaldo Lopez

Connolly Early 

Joe Musgrove

Ben Brown

Ryne Nelson

Lucas Giolito

Justin Steele 

Robby Snelling 

Jeffrey Springs – 4.2 IP, 7 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 3 HR allowed, 6 Ks, and his 13th loss. 

Jonah Tong

JR Ritchie

Spencer Strider

Spencer Schwellenbach

Zach Eflin

Javier Assad

Cole Ragans

Cody Ponce

Cade Horton

Shane Smith

Quinn Priester

Noah Schultz

Clarke Schmidt

River Ryan

Corbin Burnes 

Pablo Lopez

Nick Pivetta

Thomas White

Ryan Pepiot

Jose Berrios 

Justin Verlander

Reese Olson

Garrett Crochet 

Yusei Kikuchi – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 6 Ks, and his 5th loss.

Emmett Sheehan

Hunter Greene

Trey Yesavage

Griffin Jax

Mitch Keller

Brandon Sproat

Joe Ryan

Nathan Eovaldi

Merrill Kelly – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 4 BB, 7 Ks, and his 9th win. Ah, Mister 101. 

Roki Sasaki – 3 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.60, and sent to the IL.

Ryan Weathers

Davis Martin

Andre Pallante

Shane Bieber – Hit the IL with right teres major inflammation. You might’ve seen my note in the comments last week when I caught the IL assignment and tried to save someone from starting him last week. The Jays are looking for anyone who can throw 4 innings. Maybe Alek Manoah is bored?

Emerson Hancock

WHEE! – These players vaulted onto the Top 100 list this week.

Max Fried

Cal Quantrill

Ryan Johnson

George Klassen

OOF! – These players fell off the Top 100 list this week.

Emerson Hancock

Roki Sasaki – “I’ve got blisters on my fingers!” – Roki’s best Ringo Starr impression. He hits the 15-day IL with a watery bubble-digit.

Michael Soroka

Edward Cabrera

Shane Bieber

 

And, as always, I’ll leave you all with a clip of the title inspiration. If you listen closely, you can hear the wrinkles forming on your forehead right as that bass rolls in at the beginning of the tune.

 

That’s all for this week! I hope you enjoyed it! If you’re feeling extra fired up about some of the names I do (or don’t) have here, drop some comments in the chat. Have a great week!

 

Follow me @marmosdad on Twitter/X and Bluesky @marmosdad.bsky.social