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Dylan Cease

Please see our player page for Dylan Cease to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

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Owen Money In Milwaukee And Sparking Interest

May 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 352 Comments

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“Owen, you stupid poop!” is a line from Throw Momma From The Train, but is not a line you’re going to hear at Brewers games. Unless it’s in this context, “Owen, you stupid poop, but ‘stupid’ as in ‘fresh’ or ‘dope’ and ‘dope’ as in great not as in dumb, and ‘poop’ as in you’re the shizz.” Somehow, I haven’t mentioned Owen Miller (3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (5), hitting .347) much. Well, I’ve got Miller fatigue, okay? And ‘fatigue’ is Italian, pronounced fah-tee-gay. I’ve mentioned many Millers — Shelby, Bryce, Mason, Bobby — but not Owen. He’s been playing 3rd every day for the Brewers, and should continue until Urias returns. He’s also got 15/15 potential with an insanely low strikeout rate. Prolly more of an NL-Only guy, but could see him paying dividends in 15-teamers or HTMLers. Get it? Div id ends? No? Okay. I don’t really get it either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Making The Majors Again Is A Morel Victory

May 9, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 430 Comments

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So far this season in Triple-A, Christopher Morel was going .330/.425/.730 with 11 homers and four steals in 29 games. That he was in the minors for the Cubs until yesterday would be the funniest thing if it wasn’t so sad. Not funnest, though Morel is a fun guy. You might be thinking, it’s not funny, who knows if Morel can hit in the majors. Please scream these letters at yourself in the mirror: A! He was a top 130 overall guy on the Player Rater last year. He was already good. In the majors. B! Christopher Morel aka Captain Mushroom was more valuable last year than Ketel Marte, Oneil Cruz, Ke’Bryan Hayes and Adley Rutschman. That was last year. Are A and B kinda the same? Yes. So what? C! There was barely a B and you want a C? Get out of here!. Not to get all stupid with prorating — “If you were to hear the song, ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?’ and price every dog in every window, it would take you 37 years, 11 months and sixteen days.” Oh, shut up, Mr. Prorater! — But if you were to prorate Morel’s stats from last year, he was a 20/15/.235 hitter. That sounds just okay, due to the average, but, again, look at the guys he was already better than. I held my dog, Ted, up to my computer with the waivers page open to see if he’d lick the screen where Morel’s name was to see if he could hunt truffles. Instead, Ted licked Jose Abreu, so he was kinda truffle hunting because truffles are usually covered in sh*t. Depends on how deep your league is on whether or not you should find mushroom on your team for Morel, but he has solid speed and power, and shouldn’t be total shiitake. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jung Frankensteins The D-Backs

May 4, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 395 Comments

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Don’t just toss around the boomstick tag, okay? Pass out the boomstick tag after thoughtful introspection. Okay? Okay. With that said, Josh Jung (3-for-5,3 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer), that 3rd baseman in Texas? Yeah, he has a boomstick. Not saying he could play Quidditch, that’s a broomstick. This is a boomstick. To give you a super random comparison, Jung could be Ty France but with the boomstick. Jung, the France man. Call him Josh-Jung Sartre. Though, France has kinda sucked, but I was talking about his average when it’s good, and Jung should have more power France. Hmm, maybe that comparison isn’t great, except how else was I getting to call him, Josh-Jung Sartre? Some have doubted whether or not Josh Jung has the power to be an attractive fantasy corner man contributor. Doubt no more, as Josh-Jung Sartre once said of self-reflection. Can he stay on pace for 40 homers? We’re in unknown territory, but he’s been ready for the last two years. What would Sartre say of that? Let’s see, hmm… “Hell is other people having Josh Jung on their team.” Geez, this guy’s a real bummer. Unlike his sorta namesake! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yet Another Joey Who’ll Bully Ortiz You

April 28, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 300 Comments

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Just like when a Jewish kid turns 13 and they become a man or woman, and have their Bar Mitzvah or when a hitter breaks out and they have a Star Mitzvah, the same can be said of a team. A team becomes a Man Team when they decide they’re too good for Adam Frazier. That’s what happened yesterday for the Orioles. They looked at their team, and they said, we’re a Man Team, we need a Man 2nd baseman. (Though, they just moved Adam Frazier to right field yesterday; Santander to DH and Gunnar to the bench, but let’s hope they didn’t decide to become a Man Team without Gunnar.) To be a Man Team, they called up Joey Ortiz to be their new Man 2nd baseman. Itch’s said, “(Ortiz is) probably my favorite player in this system at the moment in terms of value to our game versus perceived value across the lists I’ve seen. Ortiz is a plus defender at 5’11” 175 lbs and could come on so quickly that the club has to promote him early in the season. He finished 2022 with an excellent 26-game stretch in Triple-A (.346/.400.567) and doesn’t have much more to learn in the minors. If he hits as well as my fist against Grey’s head, then sign me up!” What even? Ortiz looks like a 15/15/.280 hitter if he has an everyday job. It’s time, O’s. Man up! By the way, if you leave a sandwich out for 13 years, it becomes a Manwich. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Heaney Is A Royal Pain In A Good Way For Once

April 11, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 343 Comments

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Playing fantasy baseball with Andrew Heaney on your team is like getting cozy with a heating pad as you fall asleep, and every five days that heating pad will keep you a perfect 73 degrees, but, once in a while, it will unexpectedly become 212 degrees. At first, you’re having a nightmare where your blood starts boiling, and you sleepwalk out of bed, grab a box of dry pasta from the cabinet and boil the pasta in your blood. That’s once in a while. Not yesterday for Andrew Heaney! Yesterday, Andrew Heaney (5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 8.22) made good on his promise from last year. Maybe he was visited by the Dodgers’ pitching pixies in the pregame to remind him what he was supposed to do. Maybe it was just the better matchup. Whatever it was, it worked. He cut his walks, and showed why he’s so tantalizing with his strikeout rate now up to 14.1 K/9. I’m such a sucker for this guy hopefully I’m not trying to boil fusilli in my blood next time out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Luzardo Fills Twinkies With Jesus Juice

April 6, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 323 Comments

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In 2021, Jesus Luzardo (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.71) was traded for two months of Starling Marte. This is great, by the way:

Hmm, is it tough to judge? I don’t know, guys. I think that might be one of the easiest trades ever to judge. Especially in 2022. Is Starling Marte still on your Oakland Athletics? Did he help you win a World Series? Is Jesus Luzardo now an ace? Is he no longer on your team? Trying to figure out how hard it is to judge. I guess if you’re no longer paying attention to baseball and just judging Luzardo on what he did for those two months when Marte was on your team, then, maybe, I don’t know, interjection, but I tend to think it was pretty easy to judge then, as well. So, Jesus Luzardo was — you guessed it! — Jesus Luzardo sleeper and he should be on everyone’s team, so you’re welcome! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Reminder To Reset Your Clocks To Roster Management Obsession From Draft Obsession

March 31, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 213 Comments

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*digs nose into an open field of grass, lifts head, eyes filled with tears* This smells of my youth!

Passerby, “My dog just peed there, so probably smells of youth because you used to wet yourself.”

Baseball is back.

“Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish: No one I roster get hurt. My 2nd wish: Everyone I roster do well. I drafted Oneil Cruz everywhere so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish. My 3rd and final wish: All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing the Moonwalk. Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!”

Welcome back to another season of baseball! This one won’t be like a lot of the ones in the past few decades or so, because singles up the middle are back, and the pitch clock. Can’t believe how little jock scratching is in baseball with this pitch clock. Baseball has gone woke! Bring back the slow, intimate groin adjustments that baseball was once famous for!

So, I’m glad I didn’t waste a wish on trying to keep Mets healthy, because that was never happening. Justin Verlander hit the IL with a low-grade teres major strain. Triston McKenzie just had one of these and now we have another? How many major strains are we getting this year? Wait a second, Rob Manfred didn’t make some sorta deal with a dispensary and this major strain is a tie-in, right? With Verlander out, I’d go ahead and grab Tylor Megill, and let’s hope he’s as good as previous seasons for Ks (9.9 K/9) and command (2.6 BB/9). Don’t be Slippin’ Megill! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
John Frascella

AL Team Predictions And Fantasy Analysis: Can Anyone Stop The Spectacular ‘Stros?

March 18, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy, Fantasy Baseball Team Previews, Fantasy Team Previews | 2 Comments

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It’s getting ridiculous now, isn’t it? Once sign stealing was quelled, the haters couldn’t wait for the Houston Astros to fall flat on their faces. But this Day of Reckoning never really comes, does it? No matter what front office or rule changes occur, these modern-day Astros just keep on chuggin’. They are a seemingly […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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