Edwin Diaz Goes On IL Due To Mosh Pit Elbow

Edwin Diaz went to the IL with loose bodies in his elbow, i.e., David Caruso flipped his sunglasses down and said, “More like Ed-lose 12 weeks.” He’ll undergo a procedure to remove the loose bodies (have you tried a stern taking to about the pitfalls of being loose?) and could return by July/August. Timetables vary from six to 12 weeks, which is a huge disparity, but Dodgers said to expect three months. In one league, Tanner Scott, and Alex Vesia were already picked up, so I grabbed Blake Treinen, and a Loud Disembodied Voice cackled from seemingly above my ceiling. I asked the LDV, why are you laughing and LDV didn’t answer. Then I asked the ceiling, “Was it because I picked up Blake Treinen?” and the LDV said, in a loud bellowing voice, “Yes, you idiot! Was it not clear? He sucks, you sucker!” Not cool, LDV! Yesterday, I said Will Klein was interesting, but I should’ve specified that I grabbed him in an NL-Only league. Everyone else was taken. He just seems interesting because he’s their best righty reliever. It will be Alex Vesia/Tanner Scott, in some order, then maybe Treinen gets a save or two when those guys can’t go, because the Dodgers win a lot of games, then maybe Will Klein, if Treinen can’t close it out and those other guys are overworked. Dave Roberts said it won’t be one guy as the closer, even after the dust settles. That’s not literal dust, when you Edwin Diaz owners are crying, you can’t blame allergies. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Josh Hader – Ready to face live hitters. Great, I just wasted the last year teaching wax figures how to hit.

Christian Walker – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. How did I manage to roster Walker in every league last year when he woke, unable to hit, and have him nowhere now? Doesn’t seem possible, but alas. I am proof positive!

Isaac Paredes – 3-for-5, and his 1st and 2nd homer. Go to sleep, Jon Snow, I’ve got the hot schmotato watch!

Spencer Arrighetti – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (4 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 2.45, but that’s only in two starts, and SP. Arrighetti looks about to string up his owners by the noodle. I’m not sure I’d use Streamonator with him until I saw something decent.

Slade Cecconi – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 6.20. Wipe the Slade clean off your team.

Brendan Donovan – Hit the IL That’s too bad, so sad–Wait, hold up, Colt Emerson was called up…? No? Oh, crap, Colt hurt his wrist. Mariners’ manager and your neighbor, Dan Wilson, told reporters Emerson was dealing with the injury.

Cal Raleigh – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer. What an ass! (Complimentary)

Dominic Canzone – 2-for-3 and his 3rd homer. I’m sure there’s someone more wasted by their team than Canzone, but I can’t think of anyone. Some of the best metrics; hits everything hard; Mariners could use offense, and they never play him.

Emerson Hancock – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.83. Got beat by the home run ball a little, but because his command is pristine he doesn’t get beat for boku 3-run homers.

Carlos Cortes – 4-for-5, and his 2nd homer, as he hits 3rd, hitting .333. Car-Cor, to make the brothers act fools! If you know that reference, cool, you are also very old. Cortes is a power hitter, who makes a lot of contact. If he has one big drawback, he seems to hit everything into the ground. Don’t hate him for a 15-team mixed league flyer, but holding off in shallower leagues.

Nick Kurtz – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .227. The Marla Gibbs line! You see Kurtz hitting leadoff and you just gotta give that a nice little eye roll.

Shea Langeliers – 1-for-5 and his 7th homer, hitting .303. Thank you, Mr. Bangeliers, may I have another.

Sal Stewart – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (8) and legs (5), hitting .289. Sal’s got all the Italian juice! Send Pasquantino some! Sal is having an April that I would’ve loved from Ohtani. The ol’ 40/30 pace.

Rhett Lowder – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.10. His peripherals aren’t quite the ugliest I’ve ever seen, but they’re very close. He has Gallen to thank for not being the worst.

Edwin Uceta – Dealing with a shoulder strain. This is a new shoulder issue from the shoulder impingement that happened in March. Think that’s it for shoulder injuries. Uceta’s gonna have to use his imagination to come up with another shoulder injury.

Ryan Pepiot – Felt instability in his hip when he was playing catch and it’s being ruled a setback. Huey Lewis, “That’s a hip to be cared for.”

Max Meyer – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.60. Check out this guy, wanting to get traded off the Marlins! Soon, my pretty! His 10.1 K/9, 4 BB/9, 3.76 xFIP and with near-unhittable sliders and changeups has me becoming a believer.

Agustin Ramirez – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer. Hoping he gets hot because A) I have him in a ton of leagues. B) People keep asking to drop him. C) There’s no C.

Michael McGreevy – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.29. His numbers are reminiscent to Mike Leake. No one has ever been compared favorably to Mike Leake. Mike Leake was also the last player name that sounded like Bart calling Moe’s Tavern. Bo Naylor is a little too risqué. Streamonator won’t ever like McGreevy (lack of Ks), and I can’t recommend him, outside of NL-Only.

Jake Irvin – 5 IP, 3 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.00. That was not a great start, but also the best I could’ve hoped for from this schmohawk’s 1st start in this two-start week, where I almost benched so many times I forgot if I started him (I did; NL-Only).

Daylen Lile – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, hitting .284. C’mon, preseason sleeper, Daylen Lile, get fiery hot, you ess oh bee!

Matt Olson – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. 29 more homers!

Bryce Elder – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.50. His peripherals are remarkably fine for a number three to four. Spectacularly unspectacular. Amazingly average. Incredibly okay.

Jonathan India – Hit the IL with a shoulder subluxation. Hey, that’s a new one, Uceta!

Jac Caglianone – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. Fed up, I just dropped him on Sunday! I will now cackle until they drag me away in a straitjacket.

Seth Lugo – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.15. Lugo looked better than Bradish (hard not to), but the Orioles’ offense may not be as bad as the Royals, but it didn’t look far off.

Lucas Erceg – 1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 6.48, and yet another blown save. There were some smug people out there who were drafting Erceg right after I drafted Carlos Estevez, and I just want to say I haven’t forgotten about you! Hope you’re enjoying Erceg, and how his walk rate is higher than his K rate!

Kyle Bradish – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 13 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.68. Tied his owners to the WHIPping post while dancing between the raindrops of base hits. As I watched this game–Nay, as Fonzie’s horse would say, I didn’t watch this game, I had my hands in front of my eyes, scared he was going to give up a huge hit in one of the many scoring opportunities the Royals wasted. Any other team would’ve scored at least six runs on him. It really was the hittable pitcher meets the unhittable offense.

Leody Taveras – 1-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in three games. Hot schmotato alert!

Max Muncy – 4-for-4, 4 runs, and his 7th and 8th homer. Max is the Munciest!

Dalton Rushing – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer. About to start picking him up in super shallow leagues, and say eff it when he’s on the bench for Smith. At this point, he’s getting enough DH and 1B at-bats.

Justin Wrobleski – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 1.88. Fun fact! Wrobleski was voted the most likely to be the last name of a character on a season of Fargo.

TJ Rumfield – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer. And just in case there was any chance you didn’t start him, because he didn’t start the game: Sonavabench!

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .354. Love that I got Cake Batter one of those years when he hits 17 homers. Love it!

Reid Detmers – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.08. Maybe things go sideways, but this wasn’t that. His underlying stats are still gorge.

Dylan Cease – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.10. Haven’t seen a Cease up in Anaheim since Gwen Stefani refused to sign a pic of her and Gavin Rossdale.

Aaron Nola – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.06. The truly fascinating thing with Nola is he could have a 6+ ERA this year and next March people will be like, “Ya know what, I will draft Nola! He has good peripherals!”

Dansby Swanson – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer. Kinda surprised he’s hitting 9th. Now I could make a Pete Crow-Armstrong (0-for-3, 1 run, hitting .214) crack, but anything associated with the hitting of the ball off the bat like “the crack of the bat” shouldn’t be said in regards to PCA.

Colin Rea – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.00. His underlying stats aren’t the worst I’ve ever seen, but still mostly a Streamonator call in most mixed leagues.

Mick Abel – Hit the IL with elbow inflammation. Sounds un-Abel to go. Kendry Rojas is being promoted. He looks like he has zero command, and would be AL-Only for now. Connor Prielipp could be called up too, and he’s more interesting to me (better command), but still only AL-Only for now.

Robert Garcia – Went for an MRI on this shoulder. Rangers are optimistic. Neat, the MRI is half-filled.

Sonny Gray – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. Left the game grabbing his hamstring. Couldn’t read his lips, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t screaming, “Damn, my legs are tight, I’m squeezing my leg now to get a little feelsies, ooh, yeah, this is nice for the ladies.” Tyler Samaniego was called up, so that’s where in the world he is. Once Gray’s rotation spot is due up, Payton Tolle could be on his way. Payton Tolle sounds like an expressway, and it makes sense he hasn’t been promoted yet because those things take forever in Boston. They’re still working on The Big Dig, and Paul Revere originally broke ground on that 250 years ago. Tolle’s Play-ton in the minors, bring him up! He’s gone 11.4 K/9, 2.4 BB/9 this year in three starts and went 13.1 K/9, 2.3 BB/9 last year in 91 2/3 IP. Didn’t have a great debut for the Sawx last year, but deserves another.

Jack Flaherty – 3 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners (6 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 3.47. There’s guys who are a joy to watch, Jack Flaherty is not one of them. There’s some pitches where he’s not only missing, he’s spiking the ball three feet from the plate. “3-2 count and, oops, I’m just going to throw this one into the dirt for s’s and g’s!” That’s him. All pitchers (all players, if being honest) are flaky, but Flaherty doesn’t seem to be paying attention on half of his pitches. Like if you saw inside his head, you’d see a film reel of a person with their hand under their armpits making farting noises. Calling him Jack Fartery.