Our 2020 Razzball leagues are in signup mode. Robot in Signup Mode, “I am entering contest to win Razzball t-shirt even though I’ve never seen a robot wear a shirt. Starting….” The Robot begins to peter out, “…New…Fad.” Oh no, the Razzball Robot has died! *screaming to heavens* What hath you forsaken me?! Heavens, “Focus on the ESPN rankings, you moron.” Wow, the heavens do not take well to histrionics. So, this year’s ESPN rankings are a tad goofier than I remember them, but maybe I just got smarter — Smarterened? Smartered? Became the smarts? Meh, I don’t know. What I do know is ESPN has Tim Anderson ranked 143rd overall and that made me cackle like a hyena for so long a group of white-jacketed asylum workers showed up at my house and tried to cart me away. Me singing to the tune of Pharcyde, “Can’t keep gettin’ carted awaaaaaaaaaay…Can’t keep gettin’ carted awaaaaaaaaaay…Can’t keep gettin’ carted awaaaaaaaaaay…” Any hoo! I’m clutchin’ my pearls like a Barbara Bush hologram and about to take out some ‘perts! *slowly, menacingly sharpens index finger for more incisive typing* I’m about to cut up somebody with words! Now let’s open a window and defenestrate ESPN’s 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. To the tune of Major Tom, I call this Major Dumb:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Matt Olson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
One word about this top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball, before I give you another 5,000 words. I’m going to avoid repeating myself from the position rankings in the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. If you want to know my in-depth feelings about a player, then you need to go to his positional page, i.e., the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball, the top 20 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball, the top 20 Patterns In Queso That Look Like Messages From Another Planet for 2020– Okay, but I almost got you. This post is meant to give you an idea where guys from different positions are in relation to each other. Since this post is only the top 100, there’s more players where this came from. 467 more, to be very exact. Next up, there will be a top 500 that will go to 567. Then, after that, there will be a top 7,500 that will go to 8,602, then a top 25,000 that will go to 28,765, then a top 600,000 that will go to 892,121, until we end up with a top kajillion in April that will go to a kajillion and one. Or maybe I’ll stop at the top 500. Yeah, that makes sense. Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel. Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2020 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.” Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters. Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter! Razzball Subscriptions are also now open. Early subscribers get Rudy’s War Room, and you can go ad-free for a $9.99. Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It was a glorious time first baseman were all over the place. It was before Bellinger and before Crazy Vogelbach decided to take on a boss and start a war. It was when I met the world, and it was when I first met Grey Albright. He couldn’t have been more than 28 or 29 at the time but he was already a legend. He’d walk in the door and everyone in the comments just went wild. He’d give the site admin $100 just for sitting in his video game chair, he’d shove hundreds in the pockets of the hosting sites, and the guys that commished the leagues. The bubble tea maker got $100 just for keeping the boba chewy! Grey was one of the most feared guys in the fantasy world. He was first winning leagues at 11, and was drafting teams for Tout Wars by 16. Then the world changed, and first base became shallow and depressing. Now more than ever we need a hero to navigate these treacherous first base waters. Enter the Fantasy Master Lothario, mustache, cape, and all.
Long and the short, we talk top first baseman and wish a very special cougar a happy birthday. It’s the Top 20 First Baseman for 2020 Fantasy Baseball show! Come on now!Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is gonna be a weird one. Just when you think the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball are stacked chef’s kiss finding a vacation home on House Hunters International, they take a left turn and become ugly like the Property Brothers. Well, mostly the one who always wears plaid. Any hoo! This post goes on for about 1.8 million words, so let’s dive in. Here’s Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Let’s do this! Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
20 for 2020! 20 for 2020! 20 for–Sorry, didn’t hear you come in. I was just selling contacts at a county fair. Today, I throw out preconceived notions, drink some potions and lather up my body with lotions, as I sloppily slip and slide my way through a very precarious top 20 for 2020 fantasy baseball. This top twenty is a blind man playing Twister. Half the time, I’m grabbing for things not knowing if they’re there or not. I legit think this top 20 could go countless other ways. Is countless a widowed Countess? No, it’s not, it’s a confusing AF top 20 for fantasy baseball. All the positional rankings will live under the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. The projections in this post are, as always, mine. For Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers, click those thingie-whosies. Anyway, here’s the top 20 for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Pirates organization should be on an episode of Botched. Are they the worst organization or what? Hint: The answer is not ‘or what.’ Let’s do a brief recap of what a giant POS team this is. Pirates’ closer, Felipe Vazquez, decided to try to bite off Kyle Crick’s finger last week. A giant piece of garbage move? Well, gee, Wally, I don’t know, it seems like that’s not a nice thing to do. The Pirates are dead-last in the NL Central, as they’re wont to be, so suspend the giant festering wound that is Vazquez, right? Gosh, Ms. Molly, that seems obvious. Well, no, of course not. The Pirates are trying to avoid losing 95 games and only lose 94 games instead, so the Pirates made the chickenshizz move to stick with Vazquez. This is, after all, the club that didn’t want to trade Felipe Vazquez for prospects at the trade deadline. Finishing in last with 94 wins instead of 95 must mean a lot to them. Now, the jagoff that is Vazquez is arrested for being the worst type of human and looks like he’ll never pitch again. No wonder Felipe Vazquez changed his name last year, he’s a giant pedophile creep! You did good, Pirates! Maybe to go with your pitch-to-contact pitching coach, your clueless manager and your maybe-we-can-lose-only-94-games team, you can find another awesome trade like sending Austin Meadows and Tyler Glasnow for Chris Archer. Any hoo! I’d guess Keone Kela or Richard Rodriguez is the closer for the final week-plus, in that order. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cubs rookie Nico Hoerner hit his first career home run Friday night going 2-for-5 with 4 RBI. He started off the Chicago onslaught with a 2-run shot in the first inning and added a 2-run single in the fifth! He was a BUY and here’s what Grey had to say about him, “Hoerner is the Cubs’ top prospect, which is more of an indictment about the Cubs’ farm system. He doesn’t strike out, and possesses decent on-base skills, so maybe some short-term value.” And that’s me quoting Grey! If that’s not a high endorsement, I don’t know what kind of waiver adds you’re looking for in mid-September but Nico might be your best bet. Does he make you Hoerner, baby? Woah, sick reference, bro, how old even are you? Nico is slashing .350/.435/.600 through his first 20 at-bats with a home run and 8 RBI, he’s also still available in most leagues, which is important since I don’t know how many of you are even left reading this at this point in the year. Just my mom and my stalker, most likely (hi mom, hi Gordon!). My stalker Gordon’s wondering why I had to stop playing WoW Classic for 4 hours to do other fantasy things. I’ll be right back, Gordon, I swear, please don’t send my family death threats again! Nico could be worth an add for any team in need of some runs and average, especially if the Cubs plan on scoring 17 every game from here on out.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The ones that don’t draft pitching early. The Muslim Mrs. Garretts. The Yu’s that we saw in the 2nd half. The ones that see things differently and not simply the ones who are holding drinking glasses up to their face to make googly eyes. They’re not fond of the rules like: Don’t wear sweatpants every day. And they have no respect for the status quo, because they’ve checked out every time someone defined “status quo” for them. They held onto Yu Darvish (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 3.97) all 1st half and were rewarded nicely. Unless he’s just on a team that started checking out fantasy football in June. Back in July, Coolwhip wrote, “I’m not prepared just yet to say he’s back back, but it’s looking like he’s finding his way back. I’ll call him a tentative buy for now, while advising to keep an eye on his walks and I’ll be watching his velocity and arm slot. In fact, I just picked him up where I could to see what happens.” Hashtag nailed it. Prior to that, Darvish had a 5.01 ERA. Since then, 2.44 ERA in 66 1/3 IP. The fix, as we all know by now, he’s stopped walking everyone. His season-long peripherals 11.2 K/9, 3 BB/9, 4.39 FIP are sweet, but his 2nd half peripherals are legendary, and some of the best in baseball — 12.6 K/9, 0.8 BB/9, 3.20 FIP. For 2020, the thought of getting anywhere close to Darvish’s 2nd half has me, not only interested in him, but thinking he could be a steal as a number two fantasy starter. Yu might think I’m crazy, but the crazy ones change the world, or at least do well sometimes in their leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
*glances at Houston score* Welp, another insane offensive night for the As–Wait a second! Make that As– into an A’s. We’ve got a barnburner like the Astros were John Wilkes Booth! (If you get that joke, you’ve also read Manhunt, to which I say — nerd!) The ALCS is going to be a series of 24-23 games that last eighteen hours. “Joe Buck, are you even watching the game or are you just reading old issues of Men’s Health with the pages stuck together?” That’s Ron Darling reprimanding Buck. It was the 4th inning and the entire A’s lineup already had multiple hits, so let’s check some boxes, shall we? Sean Murphy (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) hit his 2nd and 3rd homers, and I recently picked him up for an AL-Only league. He had ten quick homers in only 31 games of Triple-A so he’s got power to spare, and Chris Herrmann was just designated for assignment. I hope Herrmann can find peace with they’re re-assignment. Matt Olson (2-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) also hit two homers. What Olson is doing in 70% of a season and without a hamate is going fairly unnoticed, and I already know I’m going to be so high on him in 2020. Then, Marcus Semien (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 27th homer, because what goes up must come down with, uh, Semien. Finally, Khris Davis (3-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 20th homer, asserting he’s not really Chris Davis, but I’m not sure I believe him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to September baseball, where I get new call ups mixed up with running back handcuffs. FanDuel has us set up with a 15-game slate to start the weekend. There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes, and the Tigers being terrible against right-handed pitching. Since the All-Star Break, the Tigers are tied for the second-worst wRC+ against righties, while striking out at the highest clip (28.5%). The Tigers face Homer Bailey ($8,200), who has been excellent over his last eight starts, outside of a disastrous start against the Cubs. In fact, over his last four starts, Bailey has a 2.25 ERA in 24.1 innings, while striking out 27 batters. I’m praying to the fantasy gods that Homer can keep that success rolling today. Let’s take a look at the rest of today’s slate.
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