I’m going to make this post short and sweet. Even though I said I wasn’t going to update my spreadsheet, I’ve changed my mind. Why, you ask? The answer is mostly simple. In fact it’s one word. Razzball Nation. Ok perhaps that was two words, but who’s counting. I’ve got two more words, Grey and Rudy. Those two SOBs have busted their nuts (did I mean tails) over the last many, many years delivering first class content to the fantasy baseball community. This is my sixth season being part of the Razzball Crew and I just wanted to do my part. And my part is very simple. While I do write a weekly post on points leagues, what everyone wants is my spreadsheet. This one’s for you Razzballers!

Sorry for the short post. Hit me up in the comments with questions.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I’ve got to be honest, I’m not even that excited for the 2020 fantasy baseball season. It almost feels dirty to actually say that. I started playing fantasy baseball back in 1990. For those not so quick with that math, this would be my 30th year playing this great game. So why am I not pumped for the start of the season. Well, I think it’s mostly hesitation. I just do not believe that we will actually see a full season. And by “full season” I mean sixty games. How long is it going to be until a couple of players test positive and things get shut down? I wonder if a player would rather test positive for PEDs or Coronavirus? I asked my buddy if he’d rather have Coronavirus or Syphilis. Any guesses how he answered? He chose Coronavirus because it would be easier to explain to his wife. We are already facing an extremely shorted season, any interruptions would exponentially compound the problem.

A shortened season is much less disruptive to the roto format, but when it comes to head-to-head points leagues, a nine week season practically cripples the season. In roto it’s just less time to accrue stats, but in a 12-team head-to-head league, you’ll play each team once, and some twice if you have two opponents each week. If you play one team each week you won’t even play every team in the league over those nine weeks. And what about playoffs? Why does Jim Mora’s reaction to the topic of playoffs immediately come to mind? For every week of playoffs that’s one less week of regular season. Can playoffs even be afforded? Do you just award the championship to the team that finishes the regular season in first place? I can see it already, the team that finishes first will be the team that got to play the shitty team twice. Can you blame the second place team for feeling slighted?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

The word on the street is that there will definitely be a 2020 season. In fact, Rob Right Said manFred said he guarantees that there will be a season. In its worst form it will be a 48-game season. The players want 89 games and the owners want 76 games. Or something along those lines. As most of you might know, the sticking point is, of course, salaries.

The salary dispute is mostly irrelevant to us. All we care about is if there will be a season. Both the NHL and NBA are returning. MLB will follow suit. MLB actually has the authority to impose a 48-game season if a deal cannot be reached. The timeline on this is not clear yet, but I’ve got to think by next week a decision has got to be made. With that in mind, we’ve got to start being proactive about what a 2020 fantasy season might look like.

After a bit of soul searching, here is what I am proposing to my primary head-to-head points league. Just to set the context our league is a ten-team league where we play two matchups each week. Our season consists of 22 weeks of regular season followed by two rounds of two-week playoff matchups. Our roster size is 30 and we can keep six players for as many years as we want. For the sake of this discussion our scoring system is irrelevant, but I do believe that it’s a bit skewed towards starting pitchers. Nonetheless it does not impact my proposal.

First order of business is the draft. Fortunately we did not hold our draft before the season was shutdown. Truth be told, no league should have held a draft. I’m a firm believer that a draft should not be held more than ten days prior to opening day. I actually prefer the seven day threshold, but ten is the max. And let’s face it, it’s 2020 and just about every draft is hosted online. There’s little to no excuse to not being able to find a day that works for everyone. We’re all busy, I know. Yadda freaking yadda.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Hello? Are any of you still out there? Blink once if you can hear me. Blink twice if you need help. Blink three times if you want to blink three times. I had finally worked my reader count up from nine to fifteen (my math’s a little rusty these days but me thinks that’s about a 67 percent increase) and then this whole COVID-19 has to come along and derail my momentum. I had broken double digits and was on my way to twenty. Once I got to 19 I was going to call that group the MALAMONEY-19. This virus has certainly stolen my thunder. It has also stolen one of my favorite past times. Fantasy baseball. Not to be insensitive as I know this POS-19 has taken much more from people, but man do I miss the daily monotony of fun we call fantasy baseball. I’m really glad I busted my ass back in the first week of March to get my spreadsheet done. I’m sure it’s helped about as many of you as the virus has. At least it’s done, right? Or is it? If and when baseball returns I am clearly going to have to make some modifications. Playing time and projections are obviously going to be altered. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

For many stuck at home during this health crisis, we have suddenly been given the responsibility of “home schooling” our children. For some I know this has been quite a challenge, especially those with more than one child. Fortunately for me I only have one, a first grade girl that enjoys math and reading. Also fortunately for me, I work from home 99 percent of the time, so I’m used to the environment and routine. As for having a kid constantly looking to play, it just feels like the summer to me. Although it did snow here yesterday.

One of the math worksheets I gave my daughter this morning required her to determine which way the alligator mouth opens to. For those not in tune with first grade math lingo, this is referring to the greater than/less than sign. The alligator mouth opens to the bigger number. I can almost see light bulbs going on in some of your heads. Chomp! Chomp! Anyway, I figured I’d play a little game of greater than with points league players for the supposed 2020 season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Dude, what does mine say? Sweet. What about mine? Dude. What does mine say. It says “hey malamoney dude, where is that spreadsheet you’ve promised us”? It’s tattooed right here on my upper back. Unfortunately today is not the day. This whole virus thing we’ve got going on has really put a monkey wrench in my plans. The problem is that my spreadsheet is driven by projections. The problem with my projections is that with the length of the season up in limbo, my projections are kinda in a holding pattern. I highly doubt we are going to see a full season, and am expecting a shortened season. But how short. No clue. There’s even a chance of no season. Say it ain’t so.

So why can’t I just share the spreadsheet with whatever projections I currently have and then adjust once the season is better understood. The short answer is that it would be a boat load of work. Unfortunately the way I created that thing it’s not so simple to just replace the projections, at least not for more than a few players. I have no desire to go through the motions twice once they announce the official plans for the season. A lot of the work I have been doing to the spreadsheet these past few weeks has been to remedy this problem for the future.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

If you ask an “expert” for advice about your points league and they don’t answer with a question then you have very likely asked the wrong person. Or perhaps just a lazy person. While many points league have similar scoring systems, how is the person you’ve solicited advice from supposed to know that a stolen base is worth two points and that your league doesn’t penalize for strikeouts. Heck maybe you and your leaguemates had one too many Skrewballs, that’s peanut butter whiskey for those of you that think I misspelled the pitch (don’t knock it till you’ve tried it), and you decided to make doubles worth more than a home run. These simple facts are going to have a direct effect on the value of a player and his comparison to the next.

For those of you that have been loyal readers (thanks), this is a topic I have touched upon more than once before, but I feel it’s extremely important to hammer home. The first thing an analyst should ask you upon receiving your inquiry is “what’s your scoring system?”. Only then can he/she provide you with an answer customized for you. Imagine logging into Amazon Prime and ordering underwear without specifying a size. You could get lucky, but more often than not you’re going to be uncomfortable. One size does not fit all when it comes to points league advice and underwear.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Well holy shift Batman! This season marks my 19th year writing for Razzball. It’s hard to think back to 2001 and my chance encounter with Grey in the mens room at Yankee Stadium. True story, one of the worst things that could happen to a sports fan happened to me. It was an extremely hot Sunday afternoon after a long Saturday night of celebrating my 55th birthday. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that bacon double cheese at 4am. Well sure enough after a few tall boy PBRs my stomach was twisting up something awful. I tried to hold it, but there was nothing I could do. I was going to have to drop Bill Cosby off at the pool at Yankee Stadium. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather make out with the 300 pound, overweight (redundant) lady selling the Hebrew National hot dogs than put my bare ass anywhere near the toilet seat in a public bathroom at a ballpark. Had it been pregame perhaps it might not have been so bad (somewhat freshly cleaned), but we’re talking about the 5th inning here. I’ve learned a lot in my many years on this planet and one of them is that human beings are beyond vile and have absolutely terrible aim when going to the bathroom. How is it possible that so much human waste winds up outside of the bowl? Often I believe that it’s just got to be on purpose. Well there I was, sitting on about fourteen layers of toilet paper eating a cheesesteak. In case you’re wondering I just didn’t have the strength to hover, and about the cheesesteak, that’s a story for another day. Get in and get out I said to myself. I was just about done when my stall door was kicked open, nearly off its hinges. One might have thought Daniel LaRusso was practicing his crane kick. The ironic thing was a simple push would have done the job as, lost in all of the shuffle, I neglected to lock the stall door. There, standing in front of me, was a middle-aged dude wearing a “SAGNOF” shirt who took one look at me and my cheesesteak and asked if I’d be interested in writing points league posts for his up and coming fantasy baseball website. I agreed, we did NOT shake hands and that marked the beginning of a my “professional” writing career. Since then I have slowly worked my way up the company ranks and have settled in as the points league guy. My how far I have come. Lastly, if you believe a word of that story I’ve got a league I’d like you to join. Please be sure to provide your contact information in the comments section.

 

The 2020 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I been up, I been down. Take my word, my way around. I ain’t askin’ for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some Tauch. I been bad, I been good. Dallas, Texas, Hollywood. I ain’t askin’ for much, I said, Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some Tauch. Take me back way back home. Not by myself, not alone. I ain’t askin’ for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some Tauch. In the last month Mike Tauchman has been the most profitable bat in points leagues. During that span he has eight home runs and twenty-four runs batted in. That all equates to 103 fantasy points for you points league purists. Did I mention he’s batting over .400 as well. Not that we care about batting average in points leagues, but there is certainly a correlation between a higher average and more points. Tauchman’s 1.3 points per plate appearances is the stuff studs are made of. In the words on MC Hammer, can’t Tauch this!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Ken Griffey Jr. and Don Mattingly. Do those names ring any bells? Well Paul Goldschmidt is now two home runs shy of joining them in the record for most consecutive games with a home run. On Saturday night he made it six for six. Just when everyone had just about given up on him, he comes busting out of the gates like a three-year-old Thoroughbred at the Kentucky Derby. I toyed with the idea of writing a post entitled Paul Goldshit about a month ago, but as a long time fan and someone that’s owned him in my keep forever league since 2012, I just couldn’t turn my back on him like that. In fact, I have been telling anyone that will listen that they should buy low. Real low. How low can he go? While his early 2018 was not quite as bad as he’s started this season, last year’s naysayers are wishing they owned him in the second half.

Please, blog, may I have some more?