For many stuck at home during this health crisis, we have suddenly been given the responsibility of “home schooling” our children. For some I know this has been quite a challenge, especially those with more than one child. Fortunately for me I only have one, a first grade girl that enjoys math and reading. Also fortunately for me, I work from home 99 percent of the time, so I’m used to the environment and routine. As for having a kid constantly looking to play, it just feels like the summer to me. Although it did snow here yesterday.

One of the math worksheets I gave my daughter this morning required her to determine which way the alligator mouth opens to. For those not in tune with first grade math lingo, this is referring to the greater than/less than sign. The alligator mouth opens to the bigger number. I can almost see light bulbs going on in some of your heads. Chomp! Chomp! Anyway, I figured I’d play a little game of greater than with points league players for the supposed 2020 season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Dude, what does mine say? Sweet. What about mine? Dude. What does mine say. It says “hey malamoney dude, where is that spreadsheet you’ve promised us”? It’s tattooed right here on my upper back. Unfortunately today is not the day. This whole virus thing we’ve got going on has really put a monkey wrench in my plans. The problem is that my spreadsheet is driven by projections. The problem with my projections is that with the length of the season up in limbo, my projections are kinda in a holding pattern. I highly doubt we are going to see a full season, and am expecting a shortened season. But how short. No clue. There’s even a chance of no season. Say it ain’t so.

So why can’t I just share the spreadsheet with whatever projections I currently have and then adjust once the season is better understood. The short answer is that it would be a boat load of work. Unfortunately the way I created that thing it’s not so simple to just replace the projections, at least not for more than a few players. I have no desire to go through the motions twice once they announce the official plans for the season. A lot of the work I have been doing to the spreadsheet these past few weeks has been to remedy this problem for the future.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

If you ask an “expert” for advice about your points league and they don’t answer with a question then you have very likely asked the wrong person. Or perhaps just a lazy person. While many points league have similar scoring systems, how is the person you’ve solicited advice from supposed to know that a stolen base is worth two points and that your league doesn’t penalize for strikeouts. Heck maybe you and your leaguemates had one too many Skrewballs, that’s peanut butter whiskey for those of you that think I misspelled the pitch (don’t knock it till you’ve tried it), and you decided to make doubles worth more than a home run. These simple facts are going to have a direct effect on the value of a player and his comparison to the next.

For those of you that have been loyal readers (thanks), this is a topic I have touched upon more than once before, but I feel it’s extremely important to hammer home. The first thing an analyst should ask you upon receiving your inquiry is “what’s your scoring system?”. Only then can he/she provide you with an answer customized for you. Imagine logging into Amazon Prime and ordering underwear without specifying a size. You could get lucky, but more often than not you’re going to be uncomfortable. One size does not fit all when it comes to points league advice and underwear.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Well holy shift Batman! This season marks my 19th year writing for Razzball. It’s hard to think back to 2001 and my chance encounter with Grey in the mens room at Yankee Stadium. True story, one of the worst things that could happen to a sports fan happened to me. It was an extremely hot Sunday afternoon after a long Saturday night of celebrating my 55th birthday. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that bacon double cheese at 4am. Well sure enough after a few tall boy PBRs my stomach was twisting up something awful. I tried to hold it, but there was nothing I could do. I was going to have to drop Bill Cosby off at the pool at Yankee Stadium. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather make out with the 300 pound, overweight (redundant) lady selling the Hebrew National hot dogs than put my bare ass anywhere near the toilet seat in a public bathroom at a ballpark. Had it been pregame perhaps it might not have been so bad (somewhat freshly cleaned), but we’re talking about the 5th inning here. I’ve learned a lot in my many years on this planet and one of them is that human beings are beyond vile and have absolutely terrible aim when going to the bathroom. How is it possible that so much human waste winds up outside of the bowl? Often I believe that it’s just got to be on purpose. Well there I was, sitting on about fourteen layers of toilet paper eating a cheesesteak. In case you’re wondering I just didn’t have the strength to hover, and about the cheesesteak, that’s a story for another day. Get in and get out I said to myself. I was just about done when my stall door was kicked open, nearly off its hinges. One might have thought Daniel LaRusso was practicing his crane kick. The ironic thing was a simple push would have done the job as, lost in all of the shuffle, I neglected to lock the stall door. There, standing in front of me, was a middle-aged dude wearing a “SAGNOF” shirt who took one look at me and my cheesesteak and asked if I’d be interested in writing points league posts for his up and coming fantasy baseball website. I agreed, we did NOT shake hands and that marked the beginning of a my “professional” writing career. Since then I have slowly worked my way up the company ranks and have settled in as the points league guy. My how far I have come. Lastly, if you believe a word of that story I’ve got a league I’d like you to join. Please be sure to provide your contact information in the comments section.

 

The 2020 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I been up, I been down. Take my word, my way around. I ain’t askin’ for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some Tauch. I been bad, I been good. Dallas, Texas, Hollywood. I ain’t askin’ for much, I said, Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some Tauch. Take me back way back home. Not by myself, not alone. I ain’t askin’ for much. I said, Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some Tauch. In the last month Mike Tauchman has been the most profitable bat in points leagues. During that span he has eight home runs and twenty-four runs batted in. That all equates to 103 fantasy points for you points league purists. Did I mention he’s batting over .400 as well. Not that we care about batting average in points leagues, but there is certainly a correlation between a higher average and more points. Tauchman’s 1.3 points per plate appearances is the stuff studs are made of. In the words on MC Hammer, can’t Tauch this!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Ken Griffey Jr. and Don Mattingly. Do those names ring any bells? Well Paul Goldschmidt is now two home runs shy of joining them in the record for most consecutive games with a home run. On Saturday night he made it six for six. Just when everyone had just about given up on him, he comes busting out of the gates like a three-year-old Thoroughbred at the Kentucky Derby. I toyed with the idea of writing a post entitled Paul Goldshit about a month ago, but as a long time fan and someone that’s owned him in my keep forever league since 2012, I just couldn’t turn my back on him like that. In fact, I have been telling anyone that will listen that they should buy low. Real low. How low can he go? While his early 2018 was not quite as bad as he’s started this season, last year’s naysayers are wishing they owned him in the second half.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

In his short stint with the Brewers, Keston Hiura had thirty points and a 0.447 PPPA over 17 games and 69 plate appearances. Somewhere out there Bill and Ted just rejoiced. In case you were wondering Travis Shaw has 36 points in 180 plate appearances. Mind blown. So sorry Keston, but clearly the head office in Milwaukee might be putting back a few too many Miller Lites. Since being sent down to San Antonio Hiura has gone 11 for 34 with 4 home runs, 11 RBIs and a stolen base. Factoring in seven strikeouts he’d be good for about 40 fantasy points. In case you were wondering what Travis Shaw has been up to since his return, he’s managed ten points thanks to four hits in 21 at bats. Like I said, it’s a head scratcher.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

As I was looking to figure out what to do with my teams and see if there were any trades/waiver moves that would strengthen my rosters I thought it was the right time to put together some positional rankings. Understanding a player’s value relative to another goes a long way in simplifying the process. The rankings that follow are a combination of year-to-date performance and rest of season expectations. The blend is about 70/30 YTD (in most cases). I live in the here and now and put a much heavier weight on what someone’s doing right now than I do on what they did last year or the year before that. Don’t get me wrong, it counts, but that’s where the thirty percent comes in.

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Two years ago Heath Capps, a fellow fantasy sports writer, invited me to join a daily fantasy baseball league he was running. Every Friday about twenty of us self proclaimed wannabe fantasy experts would compete against each other in MLB DFS using FanDuel’s Friends Mode. Each week the results were combined with the previous weeks’ contests as Heath maintained an overall leaderboard. The league was named DFS Wars and it was as much an experiment as it was competition. Nonetheless I was a big fan of the format and enjoyed participating.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I really hope the O’Reilly Auto parts jingle is stuck in your head for the rest of the day like it’s been for me since I thought of the title. Damn you Austin Riley. Damn you shitty commercial. Talk about picking up right where he left off in AAA. Austin Riley has sprinted out of the gates in the race for National League Rookie of the Year. He’s got a lot of ground to make up if he’s going to catch Chris Paddack, but he’s certainly giving it the ole Major League try. In 38 plate appearances he has exactly 38 points. For those of you that don’t have a calculator nearby, that’s one point every time he steps into the batters box. And for those of you that are wondering if that’s good, well it’s better than good. As Tony the Tiger often said, it’s grrrrrreat! It’s only been 38 plate appearances, but if it’s any consolation, through 144 plate appearances in Gwinnett he tallied 156 points (1.08 PPPA). If he can come anywhere near close to keeping this up, he’s going to make Atlanta fans and fantasy owners extremely happy. Keep an eye in your rear view mirror Chris Paddack.

Please, blog, may I have some more?