ChatGPT, please explain to me Zack Gelof‘s fantasy value. “Naturally, Grey, here’s what Grey Albright of Razzball says–” Um, ChatGPT, “I am Grey Albright of Razzball.” “Of course! That is a great distinction! Zack Gelof’s fantasy value is solid power and speed but will hurt you in average. You’re going to want hitters in Bing […]
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[pinches fingers to temples, mind-melding with the Rockies’ brass] Okay, I am now at one with the Rockies’ front office. I will be thinking and acting like them for the next five minutes. I want to trade Hunter Goodman for a Bible once used by Todd Helton. Hmm, okay, I am now trading for Nolan […]
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Buying Cortes Is Something Worth Exploring
May 1, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 341 Commentsby: Grey
‘Member that show Unplugged? I got another show for you, Uncorked. It’s when a near-29-year-old player, who has been in the minors so long that when you open their minor league stats on FanGraphs, you get a pinwheel on your browser and your shizz time’s out. Ten years worth of baseball chops ready to fly! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? If You Need Speed, Buy Max To Climax
April 24, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 368 Commentsby: Grey
We should start from early biographical details about Max Clark to fully understand him. When he was a young child, he was in a pillow fight with his sister, and she hit him and it had a Mr. T pillowcase, and the last thing Max saw was the embroidered Mr. T chains. When he woke […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Mariners gave Colt Emerson $95 million. Now the first thing you might think is, how long can he stay in the minors if they’re paying him that much? That was the 2nd thing I thought. The first thing I thought was, what is his life like in the minors with that much money? Is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Don’t Be Scared Off Buy The Wait At The DMV (Damn Mark Vientos)
April 10, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 445 Commentsby: Grey
On phone, “War Room, hello? How is your vacation going after draft season? You’re in Turks? Wow, very cool! Must be lovely there. I heard their beaches are beautiful. You heard that too, but your travel agent was actually using a shortened nickname for Turkey? Oh, well, I’m sure that’s nice too. You actually thought […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Buy Jordan Walker As He’s Finally Had Time To Age
April 3, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 374 Commentsby: Grey
My barber plucks a gray hair out. I explain, “That one I call ‘Jordan Walker 2024.’” Barber plucks out another gray hair. “That’s Jordan Walker 2025.” Barber points to a full gray beard. “Those are individual games. Jordan Walker game one, Jordan Walker game two, Jordan Walker–You get the point, you don’t need me to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Buy The Best White MC Outta Detroit Since Eminem
March 27, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 265 Commentsby: Grey
*nudges the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, and it doesn’t move* “Oh my God, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is dead!” Drowsily, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell begins to wake on the couch, “I’m not dead, you idiot. I’m hungover. Could you please stop screaming?” “Woo hoo! The Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is alive!” Rubbing temples, sitting up and asking, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?To quote one of the great poets of our time, as Pitbull said, “Hello, my name is not Mr. Right…” Something-something for a few lines then, “…But Imma be your Mr. Right Now. Right now, right now, right now….” Mr. Bull is exactly right (now). All that is right for, uh, now in fantasy baseball […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Buy D-Lile, Buy D-Lile-la-lile-la-lile-la-la-lile-la-lile
September 12, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 131 Commentsby: Grey
If you say “Daylen Lile fast,” I say, “He is.” If you pronounce “Daylen Lile” fast, I say, “Don’t do that, you sound kinda racist.” If you say “Daylen Lile is strong,” I say, “He is compared to me.” If you say, “How strong are you?” I’ll say, “Not very.” If you say “Daylen Lile […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Summer Jeremiah Turned Pretty Enough To Buy
September 5, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 133 Commentsby: Grey
Every time I see J. Jackson in the Orioles’ lineup, I have to do one thing. Do you know what I do? This is like a Buzzfeed Quiz, How Well Do You Know Grey? If you guessed I see J. Jackson and start yelling like Joe Jackson, “You’ll never amount to anything!” at my life-sized […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Buy Eldridge Over Friscoed Water
August 22, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 169 Commentsby: Grey
Bryce Eldridge is so young he might’ve been named after Bryce Harper. Bryce Eldridge is so young…Audience screaming back, “How young is he?” He’s so young he needs his parents to sign a permission slip for him to play in the majors. Bryce Eldridge is so young that he got carded to eat rum raisin. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?