With the time when prospects are called up fast approaching, it’s appropriate for us to take this time to walk past the fallen rookies of the past. Sorta like the Rites of Passage walk on Survivor when they burn all of the Survivors’ belongings that didn’t make it to the end. When I write it out, it sounds like something Germany did in the 1940s. Any the hoo! I’m feeling nostalgic as we look ahead to some young players.  So, here’s what I wrote about what Keith Law wrote back a few years, “Here we have the number one pick in the 2008 MLB draft, Tim Beckham. Actual Keith Law quote, ‘(Beckham has) the best chance of anybody in this draft pool to be a superstar.’  Good stuff, Keith, thank you.  Next up, Jesus Montero and Zach McAllister. Actual Keith Law quote from a chatscript: Question, ‘Could Montero be an All-Star level 1B?’ Answer from Law, ‘Yes.’ So succinct, have to love that when you’re right. Question, ‘How do you project McAllister?’ Law answer, ‘At least a #3.’ At least! Hashtag nailed it.  These are fun, let’s do more! Another question posed to him, ‘I’ve heard contrasting things about Dustin Ackley’s power. Based on what you’ve seen what is Ackley’s ceiling in terms of HR/year?’ Keith, or Klaw as he calls himself, said, ‘I could see 20-25. I’d say Ackley’s chance for 30 HR power is 20%.’ Okay, one more (though I could do this all day) actual Keith Law quote, and this one is classic because he name drops his alma mater. In 2009, someone asked him, ‘Shouldn’t Teheran be higher on (Law’s prospect) list than Jeff Locke?’ Keith said, ‘Are you asking me or telling me? When I first got to Harvard, there was this variety show that some upperclassmen put on during freshman week, and one guy had a funny routine about ‘flexers’ — students who would ask bogus questions that were really designed to state opinions or try to show off knowledge. (Grey comment, “Sounds like a riot!”) Obviously, the answer is ‘no,’ since I ranked Locke over Teheran. It’s incredibly naive to ignore probability when ranking prospects.’ I do enjoy a pompous ass. I wonder if he has a post.harvard.edu email address. Of course, he does! His email is likely [email protected]”  And that’s me savoring in the deliciousness of Keith Law’s perception and humbleness!  This brings us to Tyler White and Yuli Gurriel–Wait, no it doesn’t.  It brings me to Yordan Alvarez and Kyle Tucker, the guys we’re hoping replace White and Yuli.  By the way, Yuli’s impersonation of a white man’s eyes — not cool.  Why do we care so much about Yordan and Tucker?  I mean, I even put them in the video at the top of this page.  We care because their Triple-A numbers are on par with Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s.  Yordan and Tucker are flat-out raking.  Yordan has been otherworldy; Tucker is on the 40-man roster and been other otherworldly for the last month.  Both guys should be up very soon and owned in all leagues until they’re either promoted, untenable to hold, stop hitting in the minors or are traded for Jeff Locke. Don’t make me do my funny routine about flexers.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The Braves called up Austin Riley this week, which is news to the guy in your league who went into shock when he realized he drafted Travis Shaw, Ender Inciarte and Rougned Odor in all leagues.  That person sounds suspiciously like me.  The Braves sharted Super Two Status as one might shart it when they can just sign Riley to a ten-year deal worth $45,000 annually.  As someone who is paid in pennies from advertisers, that sounds pretty Eflin good.  If you notice in the video at the top of this post, Riley is Anime Grey’s Buy, and that needs to be animated about a week ahead of time, so I was thinking about this Buy for some time now.  I was spurred on by Prospect Mike’s Austin Riley post last Sunday, when he alerted me that the Braves began to play Riley in the outfield.  As they say in any rest stop bathroom, the writing’s on the wall and someone’s about to get it in the rear, Ender.  In Triple-A, Riley hit 15 homers in only 37 games (144 ABs), and looks capable of 30+ homers in the majors.  Even the conservative-with-rookies Steamer projects him for 25 homers on the Prospectonator.  Ender might return at some point; Riley could slump; your degree from a liberal arts college where you majored in Wingdings font could be helpful, but for now Ender’s garbage; Riley should be owned; and you’re only qualified to work at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since Game of Thrones is out here messing up the last seven years of my life by landing the final season like it’s Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, I figured I’ll drop on you a buy for Ryan of Mountcastle.  What if the end of Game of Thrones is that they take a page out of Lost’s book, but take it one step further?  That’s right, the end of Game of Thrones is we’re the ones living in purgatory by watching another great show screw up its ending.  I might’ve just spoiled two shows in one go.  We shall see!  Actually, we might not because the scenes will be too dark.  As for Ryan Mountcastle, he should be called up any day now to play 3rd for the Orioles, but why do we care?  Thanks, awkward leading question!  This isn’t because buyin’ Mountcastle sounds like a new HGTV show.  “What’s his defense like?” “Like an Italian hill town in Tuscany!”  He has solid power, and should make contact while not having great plate discipline.  At some point in the very near future, he’s going to be an add in all leagues, so get ahead of the curve, like if you had dragons, and knew how to use them and weren’t going mad in the last ninety minutes of a poorly-paced show.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Scott Schebler looks about as DFA-able as I’ve seen anyone look in some time.  DFA stands for Da F**k Attahere.  Even if he’s not, Nick Senzel was promoted and is hitting 2nd tonight.  So, what are we banking on, or simply FDIC?  That’s not regarding fiduciary concerns, that’s F**k Do I Care?  Or more accurately, why am abbreviating everything a NYC cabbie says? Senzel has speed/power and could hit .315+.  He is one of the best pure hitters in the minors.  It’s the Senzel SZN!  SZN stands for Senzel, which means I just said, “It’s the Senzel Senzel!”  Not only is Senzel owned in all of my leagues, but guys like Rudy have owned him all year, stashing him on their bench.  I point to Rudy specifically, because he’s fairly agnostic on rookies, in general, so you know there’s something here.  Things break right and Senzel could be the number one call-up this year.  Yes, I avoided all the talk about his injuries, except for this throwaway comment, but we’re talking about the positives.  It’s Friday, LMFAO!  That’s Leave Me F**K Alone, Octopus.  I’m floating in a giant aquarium as I write this.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*blows dust off cover to the book, “Raimel Tapia, Fantasy Sleeper”* Just found this book on a shelf in this Colorado-area bookstore.  “I think this is yours.”  The bookstore owner holds up a copy of, “Josh Rutledge’s Fantasy Sleeper.”  Haha, no, that’s not mine.  “It says “Property of Grey Albright.”  Can I just read from one of your other books in peace without paying for it?  No wonder bookstores are all going out of business, you don’t leave your customers alone!  Any hoo, as I was saying about Raimel Tapia, he was a 2015 Pick-to-Click, a 2016 Gotz-to-Getz-Him, a 2017 This-is-the-Year and a 2018 Absolute-Must-Own for a reason.  He has 15-homer power and 25-steal speed who shouldn’t hurt you in average (think .270).  The problem for so long has been the Rockies’ inability to kowtow to fantasy owners and play the sexy guys.  Not unrelated, Garrett Hampson is due for everyday playing time in 2023.  However, something interesting has happened recently — interesting is subjective but if you’re reading this I assume it applies — Ian Desmond has been getting benched regularly.  Finally!  If Tapia gets 5+ starts a week, he is a Pick-to-Click-Gotz-to-Getz-Him-This-is-the-Year-Absolute-Must-Own in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The number one prerequisite for being in the Buy column is being owned in less than 50% of leagues.  Hey, we all need cut-offs, which is why I’m wearing jorts.  However, I wanted to write about Hunter Dozier so badly, I didn’t check his ownership numbers.  We’ve got a full-on Grey crush!  *turns over Trapper Keeper, looks for room between scribblings of Giancarlo and hearts*  If I had any room on my Trapper Keeper, I’d add Hunter Dozier’s name.  Exit velocity isn’t everything.  Heck, it might not be anything, especially this early, but it at least means a hitter is squarely up the ball and putting a charge into it like Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.  Some names surrounding Dozier on the Hard Hit charts:  Pete Alonso, Gary Sanchez, J.D. Martinez and Joc Pederson.  Again, small samples and all, but Dozier has averaged 430 feet on his home run.  Hit the ball hard and far?  It’s a pretty nice recipe for success.  Another thing in his favor is his walks are way up and his Ks are down.  He is profiling as a 30-homer, .280 hitter right now.  Even though his name sounds like a Cal-King mattress, don’t sleep on Dozier!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m going to share a Missed Connection posting with you that I’ve been working on; let me know if there’s anything you’d change.  “Hello, Ginger.  I saw you at a Wetzel’s Pretzels in Roosevelt Field on Saturday.  I don’t know if Ginger is your name, but your hair was the color of a carrot.  Not a carrot’s top, that’s green.  I don’t know why people say that’s orange.  You looked off the scale on the crazy/hot ratio.  Your arm freckles looked like God spilled Sunny D on you.  One blonde child turned the corner, saw you and immediately started crying.  Does any of this ring a bell?  At one point, you stepped into a sliver of sunlight and starting screaming, ‘I’m burning!’  You were wearing a New York Yankees jersey with the name Frazier on the back.  If this sounds like you, please contact me.  I need an outfielder.”  How’s that?  Do you think I could get myself a 5th outfielder with that?  So, Clint Frazier finds himself in an everyday job with the Yankees.  How long he lasts is up to Giancarlo, Hicks and Gardner’s health, but I’d own Frazier everywhere to see if he can finally tap that speed/power combo.  Speaking of which, he kinda looks like Pizza Combos.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today we have a very special Game of Thrones edition with your host, Ball-less Greyjoy.  Or, I guess since it’s a Buy, as in pick up off waivers, it’s a Game of Thrones addition. To prep for the Game of Thrones finale, I pushed a kid out a window.  As I get into bed with Cougs, I yell, “The one-eyed raven is here and winter is coming!”  This show better not end as a Bob Newhart dream or in a snow globe of an autistic boy.  As Daenerys would say, “I just flew to King’s Landing and boy are my armies tired.”  I wonder if Daenerys used to be Daenery but added the S on the end like Kendrys.  Speaking of which, Kendrys Targaryen has no position flexibility, and is just rigid, due to the 75 years he’s been guarding a freakin’ wall.  Why does he guard the wall?  Because of the dreaded White Walkers.  The Night King, head White Walker, is Christian Walker.  Since Kendrys Targaryen unleashed his dragon and it ate a Lamb (then burped fire), Christian Walker could see more time on the other side of the dugout wall.  He’s shown good pop (who doesn’t sleep with mom who is his sister) and I’m adding him in all leagues.  He hit 30+ homers in Triple-A, during his last full season there.  Hopefully, George RR Martin doesn’t stop doing his bend the knee burpees at a Westeros Fitness and kill him off.  Spoiler Alert!  Game of Thrones ends with Fonzie jumping over a dragon.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I remember distinctly the day Will Clark retired. I just got home from a Winter Solstice Pageant. I was only 12 years old at the time, but my mustache was already coming in. Earlier that night, when I was singing in the pageant, a mother yelled out from the audience, “Who’s the midget with the mustache?” Then another parent yelled out, “Or is it a dwarf? I always get confused.” Another yelled, “Is that kid 40 years old? I don’t know if I want my kid around that adult.” I didn’t think my day could get worse, then, back at home, I heard that Clark retired. I was still in my autumn leaf costume, sobbing into my Pop Rocks, essentially ruining them. A devastating day all around, but things got better eventually. Soon my friends’ parents wouldn’t call the cops when I was hanging out with their kid, thinking I was a 40-something pervert. One mother even complimented me on my mustache. Maybe this was where my love of Cougars first started. What does this have to do with Pete Alonso? Nothing at all. Just like his Spring Training means nothing. Yes, he mollywhopped the ball to parts of the field this spring with a bat that can only be discussed in terms from British literature that no one has ever read.  “Pete Alonso’s bat is so fast I will call him Mr. Dashwood.”  *blank stares*  “Um, yeah.”  He has 80 grade power — Mr. Darcy, you aloof bedswerver!  I’m buying all them shares of Alonso and I talk about him in today’s first Buy video at that top of the post.  Can Colin Firth play him in the movie?  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I grew up playing 720 Degrees by Atari. If any of you are unfamiliar with the game, you skate around, collect money for doing tricks, and try to earn enough tickets to enter a skate park. The best part of the game was when the timer would run out when you weren’t in an event, and a swarm of bees would chase you down while a narrator would narrate, “SKATE OR DIE!!” in a menacing narrator voice. Fast forward to 2019, and skate or die has been replaced with ride or die with scooters. I have to admit. Riding the electric scooter is fun, and in a city like Los Angeles, it’s very useful. Side sociological observation: While they are prevalent in most places, drive to the hood and you won’t find too many. Hmmmm. Anyways, besides the “shit they leave behind,” as Grey so eloquently described them in his Top 20 2nd Basemen, the electric scooters have become very dangerous. There have been hundreds of injuries and even three fatalaties. Yikes. But this is a fantasy website, so I’m going to talk about a different scooter, as in Scooter Gennett. Do we ride or die with him in 2019?

Please, blog, may I have some more?