Ah…you smell that? That’s the inevitable runs that Aaron Nola (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, ERA at 4.30. ) gives up every game, but as unearned. Smells so nice. Can we bottle that? Wait, I have something else for you to smell. No, not that! Don’t pull Eduardo Rodriguez’s finger! I’m talking about this…*takes a long, deep inhale* “Did you put rose petals on top of doggie doo?” Ah, yes! Trea Turner‘s game yesterday (4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) on top of his season-long “Everyone, check your sneakers because someone dragged in an odor, and it wasn’t Rougned.” With that odor lingering, it’s a bad time to shut the Buy Low Window, too. June’s Kyle Schwarber’s month, but Treat Urner is the type to go from zero to 100 in the matter of one game. As we saw in the WBC, he can hit 12 homers in two weeks, and get his average up fifty points in the snap of a middle and thumb. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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Here’s DeLuken At You Kids
June 5, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 430 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, the Dodgers called up Jonny DeLuca. He’s been tearing up Triple-A, which is pretty impressive for a studio enforcer who’s having an affair with Lana Turner. Jonny DeLuca’s got all the photogs on call, and, yeah, see, he’s got pics of your favorite movie stars in ways you don’t wanna see them, see. He’s also got solid power and speed, and had a 15% strikeout rate in Triple-A, so the contact is there too. Think he might be more of an NL-Only or deeper mixed league guy for now, but worth monocling. Unless you wanna see your dame splashed all over Look! magazine. Also, the Cards are calling up Luken Baker, but, if you’ve seen him, he looks exactly like Adam Dunn. In the minors, he even wore his number.
Please, blog, may I have some more? J Walker Crosses The Road Again To Busch Stadium
June 2, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 222 Commentsby: Grey
I was lost, out of sorts. I began standing at urinals with my pants at my ankles like I was a five-year-old. I’d say to Cougs, “I did a poopie.” Soiled. Ugly. Couldn’t go on. Jordan Walker was sent down. The power of his presence gone. From my life. Pain. I felt. Today, WE’RE BACK BABY! I’m pulling up my shorts and no longer asking my wife to wipe me! I’m an adult again! My oxygen mask can be removed! I can breathe again without your assistance! The roses are redder than they’ve ever been. Tear up my Last Will and Testament; I’m gonna live forever like Irene Cara! I can feel it! So, I still don’t understand Walker’s playing time shituation but I doubt he’s being called up to sit on the bench. Grab him everywhere. Unless you don’t love love. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Josh Naylor(ioles) To The Wall
June 1, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 318 Commentsby: Grey
I was feeling reflective yesterday, so I turned to the mirror and sang to myself, I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste–Mirror, “Please don’t sing that song.”–A flannel for my face…Pajamas, a hairbrush–“Please stop, please.”–New shoes, and a case! I said to my reflection–Stop Squeeze’ng me! Yesterday, Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll (4-for-5, 3 runs, 6 RBIs) with a slam (8) and legs (4). Naylor? Can’t we talk first? Get to know each other? I’m tempted but the truth is discovered…Can Josh Naylor become a thing? Sure. I fumble for the clock…alarmed by the seduction…Time to get serious, what kind of thing did you have in mind with Naylor? There is a large contingent of 1st basemen like Josh Naylor who will give 20-24 homers, no speed and a .270 average. In Squeeze terms, that’s a novel, some perfume, a fortune all for you. It’s basically a top 15 1st baseman, and right now he’s around the 25th best 1st baseman (or was prior to yesterday, at least), so he’s got some ground to gain. Will you become bored of Naylor if you roster him? I see what you’re saying…Tempted by the fruit of another… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?A.J. Smith-Shawver was called up yesterday. A.J. Smith-Shawver began pitching in 2020. You watched Tiger King; A.J. Smith-Shawver developed a 96 MPH fastball. You stuck a cotton swab up your nose; A.J. Smith-Shawver perfected an 88 MPH slider. You wiped down groceries from Door Dash; A.J. Smith-Shawver learned how to throw a 85 MPH change. You are not the same. He’s 20 years old! Wanna feel old? He graduated high school in 2021. Wanna feel dumb? You went to college; he went to the majors! This is why I love the Braves. They’re not afraid of promoting prospects. Take note, Reds! A.J. Smith-Shawver looks like he could surprise in the majors, like Spencer Strider did last year. Too much pressure for a prospect? Please. A.J. Smith-Shawver went up four levels this year. What do I have to show for the last two months? A bunion? A.J. Smith-Shawver is the Doogie Howser of MLB. Stop overachieving, you’re making me feel bad! By the way, if the Braves get Max Fried back, their rotation will include Jew, Jew, Smith-Shuster. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Marcus Holds Rays To A Stroman Numeral of I
May 30, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 317 Commentsby: Grey
The easiest thing you can do is put together an incredible fantasy pitching staff with only pitchers you drafted after 200 overall. It’s not just in hindsight. You could’ve blindly grabbed guys after 200. It’s easier to put together a staff after 200th overall draft than from the top 20 starters. Jon Gray? Don’t mind if I do! Patrick Sandoval? Sure! Sonny Gray? Okay! Andrew Heaney? Sure, I’ll take the occasional blow up! Hunter Brown? Why not? Jose Berrios? Yes. Nathan Eovaldi? Absolutely. Alex Cobb? Yes. Martin Perez? I’ve seen worse. Merrill Kelly? Absolutely. Marcus Stroman? He just threw one-hitter vs. the Rays and has a 2.59 ERA. (He added in 8 Ks in that one-hitter with one walk too.) Know how I chose those eleven starters after 200th overall? I went to the ADP of 200 overall and took 11 of the next 14 starters from 200 overall to 268. 11 of the 14 starters after pick 200 are doing great. 11 of 14! On the other hand, five of the top 10 starters overall are garbage! DeGrom, Nola, Woodruff, Verlander, and Sandy. Your mileage can vary with Gerrit, Burnes and Strider, but let’s say they were worth it. After the top 10? The next three were Scherzer, Cease and Bieber. Wow! It makes so much sense to draft starters high I cannot take it. I am brimming with sarcasm, if you can’t tell. 11 of 14 starters after 200 overall were solid; five of the top 10 are iffy at best. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hope everyone is having a nice Memorial Day weekend, and enjoying some baseball, or as Chef Boyardee calls it, Our National Pastatime. This Monday let’s remember all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert, including burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt. Eat a D, ISIS! Much like how America was just a Platonic ideal, then went to Washington and had to get its hands dirty with the gory details of governing, we have MacKenzie Gore (7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks (career-high), ERA at 3.57) getting his hands dirty with making good on the promise of being a top prospect. Yesterday, he threw 106 pitches, 75 were strikes, and 23 were swinging. Overall, his command is still a bit wonky — 11.5 K/9, 4.3 BB/9, 3.48 xFIP — but if the Ks are that good, the command won’t hurt him. Those Ks are Murica thru & thru. Not spelling shizz out is Murica too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Marlins outfielder Bryan De La Cruz was in full control Friday night collecting four hits against the Angels, including a two run tank in the seventh, that looked just like this. Wait, that was it! We like to say that ball was Bryan De La Crrrrushed! The dong gave the Fish a comfy three run […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Jake McCarthy Rises Like A Phoenix
May 26, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 325 Commentsby: Grey
“Worse thing that God ever spit up.”
“Hitler?”
“What? No, I’m looking at what Jake McCarthy did so far this year in the majors.”
“So, you think Hitler was better than Jake McCarthy–”
“Shut up about Hitler!”
Jake McCarthy recalled in that above exchange and to the majors. I’d say he was hideous to start the year, but I’m afraid of a defamation suit being filed by the word “hideous.” “Ya know, I’ve had about enough of your disparaging.” That’s the word hideous. There was a reason why Jake McCarthy was on a bunch of my teams to start the year. It is illuminated by his four homers and four steals in only 22 games since he was sent down. He has great speed and power. I know you drank away most of what he did from your memory. This post: A splash of knowledge refreshing your Mind Eraser. Jake McCarthy can absolutely be worth rostering in every league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Mikey Chisox Pitched Kopech Of Pretty Pitch Logs
May 25, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 366 Commentsby: Grey
At one point in the 6th inning, Michael Kopech (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.24) couldn’t see. He was blinded by a bug. The pitch clock was winding down, so he let it rip, and he said later, “I still don’t know where that pitch was that I threw. It was a strike, so it’s good. Seby [Zavala] came out and actually blew in my eye and got the bug out.” That bug, Flik, was voiced by Canadian heartthrob, Dave Foley. I don’t know how long Dave Foley’s been sitting in Kopech’s eye, but, with the success he’s been having recently, made we shouldn’t be so fast to blow our hot breath into his face, unless it was meant as an ode to Prom season by Seby. That is always worth commemorating. So, I try avoid doing a lede about the same guy but, way back in the first week of the season, I wrote about Michael Kopech because he looked so bad. Well, not exactly. I wrote, “There’s no direct evidence that the more handsome a pitcher, the more he’s going to screw you over — that we know of. We just haven’t studied it yet! Someone take a ruler and measure the distance between the eyes on Michael Kopech. Now measure the inches on his curve break. Do they match? The golden ratio that is his cheekbones, is that equal to his current 13.50 ERA? This is not eugenics, because we’re doing it for fantasy baseball purposes and not fantasy exterminations.” And that’s me quoting me! Well, we’re back here again, because we have to keep an open mind — someone grab me the head opener! — and Michael Kopech now has two great starts in a row. Since that first game of the season, Kopech only really has one other disaster. His velocity is up; his strikeouts are up; his command is better (in his last two starts) and, while not exactly performing at the level of his last two starts without luck — he needs to disallow homers on the reg — he’s looking more inline with the starter who we thought was going to be back when he was a top prospect. Was thought to be a slider-first pitcher, he’s relied on it less, while throwing it harder. It could be the recipe for success he needs. Either that, or someone put a bug back in his eye. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Owen Money In Milwaukee And Sparking Interest
May 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 352 Commentsby: Grey
“Owen, you stupid poop!” is a line from Throw Momma From The Train, but is not a line you’re going to hear at Brewers games. Unless it’s in this context, “Owen, you stupid poop, but ‘stupid’ as in ‘fresh’ or ‘dope’ and ‘dope’ as in great not as in dumb, and ‘poop’ as in you’re the shizz.” Somehow, I haven’t mentioned Owen Miller (3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (5), hitting .347) much. Well, I’ve got Miller fatigue, okay? And ‘fatigue’ is Italian, pronounced fah-tee-gay. I’ve mentioned many Millers — Shelby, Bryce, Mason, Bobby — but not Owen. He’s been playing 3rd every day for the Brewers, and should continue until Urias returns. He’s also got 15/15 potential with an insanely low strikeout rate. Prolly more of an NL-Only guy, but could see him paying dividends in 15-teamers or HTMLers. Get it? Div id ends? No? Okay. I don’t really get it either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Astros’ lineup has some 80’s WWF vibes to it. Julks-Dubon being led by Captain Woo Cubano. Can’t forget, Jose Abreu (2-for-5, 2 run) at the plate as threatening as Cyndi Lauper when she’s beating on Captain Lou’s chest in the Girls Just Wanna Fun video. Or The Fabulous Martin Maldonado went 2-for-3, 2 runs with his 3rd homer. All they needed was Manaea to come through with Afa and Sika. By the way, what’s less pro wrestling than losing your acronym, WWF, to the World Wildlife Federation. First up, Mauricio Dubon went 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Altuve owners are Stan Gable yelling, “Hey, that’s my pie!” Then Corey Julks went 3-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting his 3rd homer. But, leading the way, was Yordan Alvarez. Captain Woo Cubano went 3-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homer, hitting .305. Woo has no speed and doesn’t seem like he’s been hot at any moment this year, and is still around a top 15 hitter on the year on the Player Rater. Truly one of the best and gets nowhere near enough acclaim. Or as Rowdy Tellez would say acc’laim. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?