Kinda obsessed with our Top 100 Fantasy Starts tool (not a tool as much as it’s a free list). Since I’m writing this on Sunday, I’m not sure yet where Shane Bieber and his 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 15 Ks will rank, but my guess is 1st or 2nd overall. (The tool (list?) updates after this is posted.) Pretty deep into the season to have Shane Bieber throw possibly the best start of the year. Bieber was the youngest Indians pitcher since 1987 with 12+ Ks — wow! — the last to do it was Greg Swindell — um, all right! Bieber was the 4th youngest since 1908 to have a 15-K, zero-walk game, the other three: Gooden — crazy! — Kerry Wood — nasty company! — and Vince Velasquez — well, um, he had a good game. Only two Indians starters in history with a shutout, no walks and 15 Ks are Bieber — damn! — and Luis Tiant, who at 78 years old just beat up my autocorrect for changing his name to Luis Taint. Sunday’s start shows why I wanted to draft Bieber in every league. Hopefully, he keeps it gong…gong…go I ng–Sorry, my autocorrect is scared to change anything now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The best daily/weekly Player projections (hitters, starters, and relievers) for each of the next 7-10 days + next calendar week starting Friday. Kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.
MLB owners decided not signing free agents was too obvious. Everyone can see that in plain-sight. Passing around a championship belt that says you’ve spent the least on free agents? Too on the nose! So, MLB owners got together and decided en masse the best way to manipulate the market is to promote prospects and milk them for a few years at their minimum, then let someone else pay them for their services or lock them down to a big contract when they’re very young for pennies on the dollar of their actual worth. Crazy or crazy like a fox? So, Brendan Rodgers was called up yesterday at like 5 AM my time, and, then when I woke up at 7 AM, I promptly grabbed Br. Rodgers in all but one league to find out about a half of a cup of coffee later I now owned Brady Rodgers, a relief pitcher on the Astros. Anyone know what his stuff looks like? True Story Alert (after the last true story that was given without an alert)! I already had Austin Riley and Brendan Rodgers featured predominantly in my Friday Buy that’s coming later today. Planned it out on Monday of this week, figuring I could tell you to pick them up before they were called up next week. Comic book graphic of being wrapped in Reynolds Wrap as I scream, “FOILED!” On the Prospectonator, which ranks and projects all rookies, Rodgers is ranked 4th for all rookies. The 1st two are Vlad Jr. and Senzel, and the third is The Boss. With Hampson demoted, I’d guess the Rockies give Rodgers a long leash as he plays 2nd, and he might not need said leash. He could click immediately, and be a fixture on the Rockies’ infield like Story and Arenado were before him. He should be owned in every league. For what it’s Werth, Rudy thinks Rodgers could just be insurance for Trevor Story, but I think Ryan McMahon is done. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry, but first I must purge myself of all Yu song references. If you don’t like that, Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want, but, if Yu try, Yu might get what Yu need, because all Yu Need Is Love, and I Wish Yu Were Here. Yu Give Love A Bad Name, but I’m gonna Run to Yu. Even if Rick rolled, I’m Never Gonna Give Yu Up, and shut don’t go up, but Yu do. Yu Take My Breath Away when Yu pitch well, but Yu Never Give Me Your Money, which makes sense since Yu Don’t Know Me. Without or Without Yu Yu (stutterer!) can put together a solid rotation, but Yu Light Up My Life when it’s the Best of Yu. Have I Told Yu Lately he needed to cut down on his walks? Yesterday, he went 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks (zero walks!), ERA at 5.14, and I Know What Yu Did Last Summer (disambiguation: song), but what about now? Don’t Yu (Forget About Me). Did the Rangers closer, Chris Martin, Fix Yu? Remains doubtful, but no walks is Arthur’s Theme (Best Yu Can Do). Any hoo! Yu Darvish might’ve been dealing with a mechanics issue, and maybe now that’s fixed. He does have a near-12 K/9, the only bugaboo is his 7+ BB/9, but if he can tame that he immediately shoots to at least a number two, and stops plopping out number twos. Do Yu Understand (ft Tory Lanez & Gunna). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
My preseason NL MVP pick was Travis Shaw. *turns to a mirror* You’re handsome, but hella stupid. My mirror reflection separates from my body. The apparition picks up a see-through suitcase, “I think it’s time we went our separate ways.” But how will you get along out there without me? Can an apparition order Chick-fil-A or boba? “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” It was one bad call. “Tell that to my teams with Travis Shaw and Daniel Palka.” Nooooooo!!! Any hoo! My soul left me after I told it to draft Travis Shaw, and I can’t blame it. What a garbage call. Maybe Shaw will return as Travos so we can “see worth.” It’s a game of puns! With the Brewers moving on from Shaw by sending him to the Ineffective List, they called up Keston Hiura. I know I say this shizz three times a week, but he could be *the* call-up of the year. Here’s what I’ve said in the past, “One scout said this offseason at the Arizona Fall League, ‘We all talk about the bat of Vladdy, with obvious reason, but outside of Vladdy, I’d call Keston Hiura the purest power bat I saw out in Arizona. He’s just a special, special kid.’ The scout continued, ‘Have you seen my chew?’ turning his lip inside out, ‘Ah, there it is,’ then after a pause, ‘I’m big league, baby!’ I actually have owned Huira for the better part of two years in two separate NL-Only leagues, and I’m a fan. Think there’s a chance for a 18/7/.270 season. That sounds downright–Don’t say Jed Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie– Led Jowrie! (What’s worse, I thought of saying ‘what Brett Lawrie was supposed to be’ — woof!) In Double-A last year, Hiura hit 6 HRs with 11 SBs and .272 in only 73 games, but his bat will play, and, as mentioned above about how he looked in Arizona, he destroyed the AFL, getting better and better.” And that’s me quoting me! He continued to get better this year, hitting .333 with 11 HRs in 37 Triple-A games, while chipping in four steals. He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more. Maybe he could even be the NL MVP. I’m kidding, apparition! Please, come back, I’m empty inside!. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, the Indians called up Oscar Mercado, after a hilarious bit where they phoned their Triple-A team and asked to speak to Oscar and they were met with, “The Oscar Mercado called and said they’re out of you!” The Indians have now cornered the mercado on Oscars like Meryl Streep. Mercado has speed to burn. He is so fast he just ran into your room, mussed your hair and ran back out before you even had a chance to flinch, which is great because you’re secretly being filmed for the new Netflix game show, Flinch. Mercado had one season in the minors with 50 steals. I just became aroused like Lorenzo Lamas after he sees himself in the mirror. Prospect Mike said of him, “Mercado came to Cleveland from St. Louis at last year’s trade deadline in a move that probably slipped under everybody’s radar. He had a crazy good season in Triple-A though, hitting .278 with eight homers and 37 steals. Caveat: Grey is dumb.” What? That’s not a caveat. I grabbed Mercado in a few leagues, because I could use steals, and, brucely, who doesn’t need steals? Not to answer, but bat your eyelashes and look pretty. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hope our five girl readers had a beautiful Mother’s Day yesterday. I sent my mother a trade offer sending her Tyler Flowers and Goodrum. She appreciated the thought. Also, I wore pink the entire day for you mothers, because that is a very girly color that baseball keeps perpetuating every year. Why can’t mothers be into purple or lavender or mauve or rose or fuchsia or flamingo or other shades of a color similar to purple or pink? How about next year all players wear lavender pants suits for Mother’s Day? Ooh, I have an idea. Since all pink bats are relegated to the trash bin after Mother’s Day, how about players use them again to raise awareness to spay or neuter your pets? Like an in-heat bitch (medical term in vet school), George Springer was hot with that pink bat (more vet med terms), going 5-for-5, 5 runs, 4 RBIs with his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .321. The good news is he’s finally living up to his top 10 potential. The bad news is his owners from last year are on suicide watch. But, hey, it’s not us, right?! (Actually, it is me. Damn.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s a good time to be a twin! No, not just if you’re a mother on Mom’s day because you got twice the bragging rights. The Minnesota Twins look unstoppable right now posting their third shut out in the past four games including Jake Odorizzi‘s gem Friday night as he extended his scoreless streak to 20 (! ! !) innings. It’s his third start in a row without allowing a run and he’s given up just seven hits in that stretch. The former Ray pitched seven shut out innings against the Tigers, allowed just one hit (a double to Christin Stewart in the first inning) and struck out five, walking none to earn his fifth win. Jake was hammering the strike zone, throwing 66 of his 95 pitches for strikes and lowering his ratios to a gorgeous 2.32 ERA and 0.94 WHIP. That ERA’s good enough for 3rd in the AL, folks. And let us not forget that 43/15 K/BB is making me real happy happy. Dude is hotter than Hunter Johanssen’s twin sister (that’s Scarlett) which is pretty darn hot you guys! If we look at some next level stats, the 0.42 HR/9 is obviously not sustainable, and the 24.8 GB% is suspect. The 2.84 FIP and 4.49 xFIP suggest there is regression coming in the form of some home runs balls but all the stats that matter (9.07 K/9, 17% K/BB, .221 BABIP) show he’s still trending in the right direction. Jake gets the Angels next week and he needs to be owned everywhere, at least while all the Minnesota Moms are showering their Twins with love and Odorizzi is making it look Odoreasy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First off, big congrats to Albert Pujols (1-for-4 and his 6th homer), as he passed 2,000 RBIs. That is amazing. Now would some archaeologist find old man Pujols’s Holy Grail Goblet Room and let him retire in peace? Second off, David Fletcher went 2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .310, as he finally seems to be settling in at leadoff. Can we just pause for one second and try to comprehend how stupid I am? Okay, you don’t have to rundown all my countless idiotic calls. I get it. Okay, with my stupidity in mind, it took a major league manager — Bad Assdunce, in this case — almost six weeks to realize Fletcher is the best guy to hit leadoff on the Angels. Assdunce hit Kole Calhoun (2-for-4, 3 runs, and his 9th homer, hitting .223) for 78 ABs at leadoff — a .240 hitter on a good day! Ya know, when they hire MLB managers, they’re not hiring their best and brightest. Oh, and I have it at 50/50 odds Fletcher doesn’t stay at leadoff, just so ya know. By the by, Fletcher is not in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available add him for average and hopefully counting stats. Finally, Tommy La Stella. What in the holy fudge? Only, I didn’t say fudge. I said the mother of all curse words. Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. Did he even have nine homers in 1,000 at-bats prior to this in his career? Not to answer, because I don’t care, but WUT. At this point, Travis Shaw would need to have the best month of his career to even tie La Stella in fantasy value. I am laughing through tears. Sad clown tears! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Doe, a deer, a female deer that sounds like Chaz Roe. Ray, a drop of eleven Rays! Me, a name I call myself while looking in the mirror to check on my hair–Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just singing a little song I call, “Julie Andrews is One Hot Cougar.” Yesterday, Robbie Ray did the impossible. No, not strike out 11 Rays hitters. I mean, yes, he did that. But that’s not what I found impossible. I find it impossible to like him, and yesterday he made me smile a little. Sure, this ‘impossible task’ is a bit subjective, but get out of your own head, it’s all subjective! Life’s subjective! Wow, I just became an angry philosopher. Call me Socrankies. Robbie Ray’s line yesterday 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks is almost exactly him to a T. He is a 4.7 BB/9 guy and that was his BB/9 yesterday in under six innings. He can’t go deep because of the walks, and his Ks are gorge, but also limit his IP. I don’t hate him as much as it might seem. I don’t own him, but I can understand the allure. I “allurve” Ks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No ham sad-wiches at this Fiers fest! Mike Fiers pitching a no-hitter with 6 Ks, ERA down to 5.48, and he only needed 131 pitches. Previously, he threw a no-hitter in 2015 when he threw 135 pitches. Man, pitchers really threw a whole lot more pitches back then in the mid-twenty-teens. Way back when we still thought Game of Thrones was a good show and not a shill for Starbucks. Way back in 2015 when we all got along outwardly and just simmered under the surface with our political differences. What a time! Of course, Mike Fiers was facing the Reds, and Fiers is red and *insert Spider-man pointing at himself jpg* and Ramon Laureano needed to rob Joey Votto of a home run, but…piece of cake. As we knew all along, there’s nothing to Fiers except Fiers himself. He was a streamer I strongly considered yesterday, because Fiers is the epitome of a Medi-OAKer pitcher, and he was at home facing a terrible team. Sadly, the one thing that puts out Fiers is when you put your stream on him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?