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B_Don is joined by fellow Razzballer Steve Paulo (@StevePaulo) and Darik Buchar (@DBuchar) from the NFC to talk about the upcoming RazzSlam contest. Steve is our resident RazzSlam writer for the season and Darik is one of our primary contacts, and the two of them are here to go over the details and our draft strategies for the RazzSlam and the Cutline contest in general. We discuss how to handle some of the transitions from roto to the Cutline points set up and how to handle steals, starters vs closers, and other tricky areas. Darik walks us through the offerings from the NFBC this year. Before I let my guests go, I ask them about some of the big free agent signings of the off-season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aloha, salutations, greetings and WAAAZZZZAAAAAAA?!?!? (remember that?!) to everyone out there in fantasy baseball land! My name is Steve, and I’m taking the reins when it comes to talking about the RazzSlam at you from our esteemed editors, Blair and Donkey Teeth. Why, you might ask? Because they’ve got far more important things to do with their time. I’m like an intern. I’m like Season 2 Greg the Egg: just keeping the lattes flowing.

So why am I here, and why are you reading this? Well… I can’t really answer the second question, which might require some introspection on your part, but as to the first, I’m here to tell you all about RazzSlam 3: Deuces Wild!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every journey ends.

Every journey, dear reader, that begins with but a single step, ends with a final one. The final step for your intrepid correspondent was taken with a tripping, stumbling, decidedly un-Baryshnikovian gracelessness, as I bowed out of our towering competition in the bottom 15% or so, at the initial cutline.

For me, then, it is on to next year, with sights set high.

For the rest of you? Well, if you find yourself fortunate enough to be among those mentioned herein, perhaps glory still awaits. The cutline has come and gone, and we are in to the final rounds of the RazzSlam. Let us, together, gaze upon the leaderboard and see what separates those generals still marshaling their forces upon the field of battle and, well, me. Shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Forgive me, dear reader, for coursing through my veins is the work of pharmaceutical geniuses, and medical marvel that this vaccine is, it fogs my mind like the finest product of the poppy flowers of the Far East.

But I have contracted with the publisher of this revered issuance to isochronal editorials on the state of the RazzSlam. And so here we are.

The first month of the baseball season, and therefore the RazzSlam, has come and gone, more or less. To what have we so far borne witness?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah! My good and noble reader! It has been too long since last I regaled you with tales of my raising of an army for the RazzSlam!

Things are… not going well, I’m afraid.

With the injury to Austin Nola documented in my original missives, to the occasional negative-earning performance by Danny Jansen and the continued toiling on the farm of one Adley Rutschmann, I can on very few occasions secure scoring of any kind from both of my catcher positions. Which, given my unabashed and very public distaste for the role, brings me no shortage of rage.

I find myself, as of this writing, mired in 220th place, of 240 competitors. I do not intend, dear reader, to remain at such a mockable rank as this, and so I have turned my efforts to the mysterious legend that can save one and all from the fates of injury, demotion, and generally piss-poor performance.

Have you heard, then, of the legendary FAABidden Island?

Please, blog, may I have some more?