Razzinators! We’re heading into the pre-Memorial Day, post-Cinco de Mayo zone of fun avoidance. Unless you have PTO and a Senior corporate position, in which case you just took the whole month of May off and called it “focus time.” Much like I spend my “focus time” watching The Pitt and trying to imagine being as calm as Noah Wylie on literally any minute of any day. What if The Pitt made each episode a “Oner,” like maybe you’ve seen on The Studio? I’m sure by now I’ve lost most the readers to their TVs. Let’s give you a Oner and then call it a Doner. No, not a kebab. Like, Done. On with the text!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Author: everywhereblair
Editor for Razzball Baseball and Razzball Football. Told you I'm everywhere! Twitter: EverywhereBlair
Read some of everywhereblair's 202 posts
Happy post-Mother’s Day, folx! That’s like the 25% mark of the MLB season, if you’re keeping track. Myself, I’m not really keeping track because I’d rather be playing Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Did you know that JKJ doesn’t like that game? Can you believe his lack of culture? When you become a writer of imaginary baseball content in the future, you too can take knocks at your internet besties to start your articles. Just don’t knock Truss, or he’ll insert pictures of Bartolo Colon into your byline. Which, to be fair, would be very Razzball. Happy Mother’s Day from your pal, Bartolo.
Let’s get you some new players!
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s article #200 for yours truly! At least on the baseball side. I lost track of where I was on the football side — way over 200, that’s all I know. But who cares about fantasy football, that’s like…weeks away. Right now, you’ve got a terrible fantasy baseball team, and you’re looking for some sweet adds, aren’t you? Let’s get some deep cuts on your radar.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome back, Razzies! I hope you’re having an awesome week. Myself? I’m dealing with a 7-year-old who just learned how much attention you can get by shouting swears non-stop. Fun! Except that’s not the word he’s saying. The best way to get people to think of an elephant is to tell them not to think of elephants. Us fantasy baseball writers do that all the time, except instead of elephants it’s “don’t draft catchers.” But I can’t stop talking about J.T Realmuto, you think to yourself. I still have a Willians Astudillo bobblehead. Don’t worry — if you can’t stop thinking about catchers either, I’ve got a recommendation below for you. On to the players!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hoppy days, Razzfolx! Hopefully you’re in a post-Easter gastrosomnia, which is not a word I made up to excuse my post-meal naps extending well beyond the holiday itself. You should see my Hallowsomnia! It’s nougat filled. ENYWHEY. It’s a good week for some free agents, and I’m here to help you find the least-rostered, most-valuable players for your team.
Please, blog, may I have some more? That’s What I Like: Kyren Paris, Carson Kelly, Jakob Junis
April 14, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball | 8 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Howdy Razzfolx! We’re moving along through April at a nice clip, and already my beloved Minnesota Twins are (almost) the worst team in baseball. Tough to be worse than the Rockies. But we’re there. But it’s a long season — in fact, 90% of the season is ahead of us. If you’re doing well in fantasy, then good. Keep it up! If you’re doing poorly, then don’t worry. There’s 90% of the season left to go!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Howdy doody, Razzfolx! I’m back from my annual pilgrimage to discover Japan’s finest convenience store food. I had a lot of fried chicken and udon, which paired well with chu hai while sitting under cherry trees.
I’m happy to be back in the saddle for my award-winning (status: pending) weekly article, which I creatively titled “That’s What I Like.” Because I thought, “If I like something, and if Bruno Mars likes something, it’s probably good, right?” I tried searching for “Versace” on the Player Rate but all I got was “Verlander, Justin.” I don’t like that. So I changed my search criteria to “awesome players only” and the following guys popped out.
Usual disclaimer: we are in small sample size season right now. Anthony Volpe is on pace to hit 80 home runs. Tommy Edman is on pace to hit 100 dingers. Like, grain of salt time, right? These players are best served for your teams that are waiting for a superstar to come back from the IL (see all my Acuna teams). Add at your own risk and discretion.
Please, blog, may I have some more? That’s What I Like: 2025 Brazen Predictions
March 17, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball | 7 Commentsby: everywhereblair
WAKE UP IT’S BASEBALL O’CLOCK. Maybe. I mean, I don’t know where you live or your time zone or whether you believe in the passage of time. But I know what you do believe in — at least if you’re here and not at RotoDongEmpire.com — is that you believe in hot takes. Your friends made fun of you for believing that hot sauce is the best toothpaste, yet here you are in the year 20 and 5×5 (fantasy baseball’s favorite year) with no cavities and a shiny set of implanted teeth made out of marble quarried from an Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Mmmmm, tastes like mummy juice.
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2025 TGFBI Draft Recap: I’m Truss’ Favorite
March 10, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball | 11 Commentsby: everywhereblair
It’s that time of year where the veteran writers talk about their teams and hopefully you listen because draft strategy is 70% of the battle. Like player analysis is nice and all but it doesn’t matter if you think this is the year of Ozzie Albies if you don’t manage to draft him.
“But I posted all over social media and told my friends that Ozzie was due for a 40/40 season all while solving world hunger and one-upping Kendrick in the Drake dis-track game,” you say with 8 teams and that have zero Ozzie Albies and 14 instances of various Luis Garcia-ses.
Sit down, relax, and learn from Uncle EWB about how to best navigate your way through the draft room and get your guys.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Everything I Know About 2025 Fantasy Baseball
March 3, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball | 15 Commentsby: everywhereblair
When I first came to Truss with the idea for an all-in-one, lightning round between myself and my ego and my id and my super-intelligent idea-go (I think that’s what it’s called), he was super-psyched. At least, that’s what I assume the [thumbs up] emoji means. Then he asked if I knew enough to make it longer than one paragraph. Very funny, Mr. Truss. Say that three times fast now and then tell me who has the better user name. ENYWHEY.
It’s fantasy baseball draft season. My home dynasty auction league with Jakkers finished on Saturday morning (I got Roki Sasaki for $40), a bunch of LABR and Tout Drafts finished last week (you should see Truss’ team, it’s delightful), and TGFBI and RazzSlam start this next week. A bunch of y’all are probably in the midst of drafting or about to do some crazy March Madness pick ’em to determine draft order (like Coolwhip’s home league, “SuperNuts”, which I just joined). In the moment of the draft, it can be hard to Google the hell out something real quick in 90 seconds before your draft timer is up. “Oh shizz, I forgot about Dre” you say as you write a joke millenials will maybe understand, only to realize via Razzball player universe search that there are no MLB players named Dre this year. Good one, EWB. ENYWHEY part deux.
If you need to bookmark a page for advice during draft season, consider this one.
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2025 Fantasy Baseball Best Ball Draft Strategy
February 24, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball | 18 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Say it three times fast: fantasy baseball best ball / fantasy baseball best ball / fantasy baseball best ball. Thanks! They call that “SEO Optimization” and companies charge an arm and a leg for it. You, fair reader, just saved RazzCorps Industries a solid $7.32 plus tariffs. Consider yourself a member of our exclusive “Technocrat Elite” tier of customer service. What’s that, you ask, your hands filled with incandescent light bulb filaments you dug out of the landfill. Thanks for asking! It means that you are entitled to ask our new AI platform, Gr-A.I., a fantasy baseball question of your choice. If you’re lucky, it won’t even copy from RotoDongs! What’s RotoDongs you ask? Why, that’s for our 21+ tier to find out!
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Role Of The Roleless Rob
February 15, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball | 14 Commentsby: everywhereblair
On a long enough timeline, your favorite fantasy baseball site would employ more academics than the Centers for Disease Control. Little did you know that it would be Razzball, home of the $1.99 soft tortilla ice cream salad (try it with ranch!). A propos of nothing happening in the real world, sometimes it’s the workers with no real defined role that end up saving the day. You know the type. Bruce Willis in Die Hard. Ahnold in Predator. Neville Chamberlain in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
And maybe, just maybe, there’s a player out there who’s name you’ve never heard of, ready to save your fantasy season.
Please, blog, may I have some more?