It was Wednesday. The sun had risen many hours prior and Son needed inspiration for his latest Razzball piece. The stomach growled. The mouth began to water. The nose began to inhale what the mind was dreaming of. Chicken and waffles from Roscoe’s then. As I eschewed the traffic-infested freeway of LA….Random thought: Don’t people […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?One Man’s Trash
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Weekly Razzball news delivered straight to your inbox.When I wake up, I mutter MAGNOF, Mornings Ain’t Got No Face. As my stomach begins to growl, BAGNOF, Breakfast Ain’t Got No Face. Turning on the computer then clicking on WordPress, WAGNOF, Writing Ain’t Got No Face. Lunchtime! You know what that means? LAGNOF. I am a Razzball disciple through and through, for better […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Nicky Lopez of the Kansas City Royals is the antithesis of Ricky Henderson, the tsaeb of fantasy baseball. Lopez won’t hit for power and….Well, he won’t do much of anything except get some steals. Will they be a “manna falling down from heaven” amount of steals? Niet, but steals are a commodity and many fall behind in the early part of the draft, forcing them to pay up later. You won’t have to pay up for Lopez, as he’s being drafted on average with the 269th overall pick in NFBC drafts from 3/2022 to 4/6/2022. Here’s why I think he can be useful:
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’m a fatty, which therefore means that I’m hungry all the time. In my younger days, my metabolism and constant activity allowed me to maintain a svelte, Bruce Lee-esque physique. Nowadays, cranking out posts for Razzball in my mom’s basement has meant that the scale flashes CAN NOT COMPUTE when I step on it. I’ve started to excercise more and am trying to diet but I am still but a human. As I was scrolling through the NFBC ADP, I came across Mike Yastrzemski and became intrigued, and it’s not just because his name made me think of deli meat. Well, it is close to lunch time so that may have had something to do with it. Anyways, digging into Yastrzemski was akin to going to Katz’s Deli, ordering a sandwich, then realizing that the cashier gave me a discount.
Please, blog, may I have some more?As I was popping Bon Bons into my mouth while watching a Korean drama, I was so startled by the plot twist in said Korean drama that a few of my precious Bon Bons dropped, then slithered into the crevices of the couch. Without even bothering to press pause on the remote, I ceased all […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?He’ll battle pitchers whenever the team’s in trouble
Connor Joe is there!
[A real OMT hero]
Connor Joe is there!
It’s Connor Joe against all the naysayers, fighting to play everyday!
He never gives up, he’s always there
Fighting for at-bats on the road and in the mile-high air
Connor Joe is there!
[A real OMT hero]
Connor Joe is there!
Connor Joe is the name of a man on a mission
Highly trained, overcoming testicular cancer!
His purpose, to play ruin the plans of Bud Black, a naive manager who rosterblocks all the prime candidates away
He never gives up, he’ll stay ’till the games won
Connor Joe will dare!
Connor Joes is there!
[A real OMT hero]
Connor Joe is there!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Who doesn’t love free stuff? Hey you in the back. Put your hand down! Clean out your ears because I said “free” not “fleas.” There really is no greater joy than finding stuff for free. Open that Cracker Jack box and find two toys instead of one? Sheeiiitttt. Driving away from Jack in the Box and finding two curly fries mixed in with the regular fries? Chef’s kiss. How about free plate appearances for fantasy baseball?
Please, blog, may I have some more?I used to play volleyball at the YMCA and there was a Russian guy named Serge who would come with his father. The old man couldn’t run or jump high but he was a technically proficient player. There’s no doubt he was a stud back in the Mother Land. Serge could jump but wasn’t so […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?They say that variety is the spice of life. First of all, who is this proverbial “they” that many keep referencing? I just need to know if they are above or below the Freemasons. Anyways, in my younger days, I would partake in a cornucopia of mental steroids. Smoking trees was often a favorite pastime. There was marijuana, hemp, and cannabinoids; similar but different. Within those groups flowed a spider web of subsections. Hemp, in particular, has three species of plant; sativa, indica, and ruderalis. There are different hemp plants for different functions; for fiber, grain/seed, and CBD. Digging deeper, the quality differs depending on a variety of factors which ultimately affects the overall experience. It’s no different in fantasy baseball. There are many paths to victory, different subsets of players to choose from, and quality is differentiated. The higher you pay, the more likely you ascertain the quality, which produces a positive experience. But what if you went binge-shopping at the grocery store while having munchies? The funds are low but you need PAs with some counting stats? As you push the cart out of the grocery store, you notice a man erected like the Tower of Pisa against the wall. He tilts his head towards you, blows out the smoke from the cigarette he just inhaled and asks, “How about some Tony Kemp?”
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Supreme Leader, Grey, has blurbed about the candy sweetness of Lars Nootbaar in the past:
“Have you checked by the candied almonds?” That’s the sweet woman at Sprouts after I asked her if they had a Lars Nootbaar. Lars Nootbaar is from Cadbury, Eggland. I could go on all day, should I? Yes? Great. The only way to get Nootbaar out is with stain remover. His granny’s full name is Granola. Keep going? Okay, okay! One more! In Nootbaar’s Twitter bio, it lists his pronouns as chewy/nougaty, and his wife’s are her/shey.
Just another example of why Grey and GOAT go hand in hand, and it’s not because both are four-lettered words that start with G. Jay “Who is Never” Wrong wrote up Nootbaar back in June, so it’s not like he was just created on the Sony Studios server and inserted into the Matrix. I didn’t pay much heed to Nootbaar until recently, as he’s been a fixture in many of my DFS lineups because of his price in the $2,000 range on Draftkings. Let’s dig in and see if he’s worthy for your season-long lineups.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Language is such an important aspect of society yet we underrate how difficult it is. One can learn the fundamentals of any language yet change the intonation, add a punctuation mark, spell it differently, and/or tweak the context and the Tower of Babel arises. Tell the homies that you’re going to go out and ball? No one bats an eye. Tell them you’re going out to bawl, then everyone loses their mind. When I’m an idiot and pick up the phone from an unlisted number, hello? The crush calls? Heeeeeeelllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You see the ex on the street and hello can mean many things. If someone just started playing fantasy baseball this year, then it’d be all about heeeeeeellllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to Jo Adell of the Anaheim Angels (I refuse to acknowledge that the Angels are from Los Angeles). In 25 plate appearances, he has a .304/.360/.478 slash with a 20% strikeout rate and .174 ISO. For the grizzled veterans of the game, then it is hellsno to Adell as they remember last season’s appearance in The Show: .161/.212/.266 slash with a 41.7% strikeout rate and .105 ISO in 132 plate appearances. So, which hello is it going to be going forward for Adell?
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ve been taking my daughter to the pool to learn how to swim. Yes, your Son isn’t just a son of a Son who has a son himself. #GirlDad and proud of it! Anyways, she is so far from swimming, the same way I have no chance of replicating the feats I see while watching the Olympics. Gotta start somewhere, though. Getting into the water is no problem but dunking her head underwater or floating on her back is not on the agenda. So, the teacher just says to have her wade around in the shallow end to just get her comfortable being in the water. And wade we did and wade we do. It’s been about a week and she can now put her head underwater for a sec and float on her back a little bit with assistance. Incremental improvement which will hopefully portend for great things ahead. LaMonte Wade Jr. of the San Francisco Giants has been a sneaky source of fantasy production and has been added in 13.3% of ESPN leagues recently. Shoutout to Vlad Sedler, high-stakes guru over at Elite Fantasy who’s been on Wade for a few weeks now. Will this Wade lead to more or is it time to exit the pool and take a shower?
Please, blog, may I have some more?