(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

First, allow me to share a story, uh, shared by frequent commenter, Travis Hafner. The Pronk One:

So, do we think Harrison Bader is into Pikachu or Mankey? Polyps? More like Poliwag or Poliwhirl! “Do you mind if I call you Jigglypuff?” That’s Harrison Bader talking to Yadier Molina. Harrison Bader looks at a fruit basket and is like, “Does anyone want this Flapple or can I have it?” Is this all gibberish or am I actually saying real words or am I reading aloud while I edit a Pokemonpedia? Who’s to say! In that fantastic story from Travis Hafner that I want to make all about Pokemon is a little tidbit about how Bader had polyps in his nose which hurt his equilibrium and his hitting. Reminds me of the time I had collagen sucked out of my face because my card was declined and now they say I got po’ lips. Sad for me, but positive for Bader, because he had surgery and it’s fixed. That could legitimately help him take his game to the next level. He’s been hitting this week, and I would absolutely grab him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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It works because I literally am in the need of a new belt! Wow, as if time and space collided with both my content and consumer needs. And while you shouldn’t care about what or why I Amazon the things I do, you should care about one Brandon Belt. What is this, circa 2010? Once the perpetual little engine at 1B who just couldn’t quite do it, he has grown, perhaps even evolved into what we have now, a mediocre producer at a position where mediocrity goes to die. My life story! And so after averaging around 15 homeruns and roughly a .250ish average for the past millennia, what exactly has changed this year and why should you care? Give me a chance to tell ya, or at the very least, convince you to go shopping for the perfect pants accessory.

So not to burst the hype train, but what I think makes Brandon Belt a bit more attention-grabbing this season is the fact that while he’s doing what he usual does, there’s some great underlying signs that Belt could end up having a quietly stronger season than he usually has combined with the fact that his value has been going down the past 15 years and if you want to try on this Belt (MORE FASHION PUNS), it’s not that hard of a thing to do any more.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

The season is in full swing and unfortunately players are dropping like flies. Is it just me or does it feel like injuries have been through the roof this season? Don’t forget to check out JKJ’s injury roundup for the prognosis. Likely you’re now in need of replacements and if your team has avoided the injury bug, well good for you. In any case a little extra depth is never a bad thing. We’ll mostly be looking at hitters today but there is one notable pitcher who deserves your attention. Dylan Cease has turned in back to back starts that were everything you could hope for. The Ks are flowing, and the ceiling is the roof. His raw stuff is amazing but his control has always held him back. He was my bold pick for Cy Young so I’m loving watching him put it all together. He won’t last long.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Giancarlo Stanton ($3,800) has been on an incredible tear over the last two weeks, batting .481 with six home runs. He now has a 12 game hitting streak and a 171 wRC+ on the season, as well as absurd 100th percentile marks in exit velocity and hard hit rate. This healthy iteration of Stanton looks completely unstoppable, and he has a fantastic matchup against lefty Patrick Corbin, who has an 8.10 ERA and a 2.70 HR/9 this year. Stanton is a must-have in cash lineups and has massive upside in tournaments.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Start engraving the Hall of Fame plaque for Albert Pujols now: First a Cardinal, then an Angel, always a God. Been a while since I got choked up about a player retiring, but this one had me bent over in disbelief like Brad Lidge. Often made fun of Albert Pujols, but he was arguably the greatest 1st baseman I saw. Objectively, he’s the best post-war 1st baseman in MLB history. (Bet you can’t guess number two.) Sure, towards the end he would smack the occasional homer, and plop a tennis ball onto his bat as he used it as a cane around the bases. Those early Angels and Cardinals years, though, no one could sniff Pujols’ rarified air. If he wafted the Pujols air, they came, which sounds like some x-rated anime film. The Angels did him dirty by just releasing him — even the Yankees gave Jay Bruce one final game! Maybe the Angels feared Pujols’s retirement celebration around the league would take an extra year, as he decided to jog Cal Ripken-style around the field. All this is super sad, especially since I lowered Jared Walsh (1-for-4, hitting .330) in my preseason rankings at the last second, and where’s my Jo Adell at? Welp, fairly well, Pujols, you will leave a gaping hole in the game, even if he says he wants to continue playing, which will just be sad. Retire, man, it’s time. *finger to ear* Wait, we have breaking news! Albert Pujols to play center field for the White Sox. La Russa confirms. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

It’s a story as old as time itself. Boy sees prospect. Boy sees prospect’s father is a Hall of Famer. Prospect double-doubles in the minors. Boy falls in love. Boy wants to get married. Prospect, who has grown into a major leaguer breaks boys heart. Boy’s life is now in disarray. Cavan Biggio of the Toronto Blue Jays has had a rough start to the season, causing much distress in the fantasy streets. Is it time to move on or ’till death do us part?

Biggio was selected in the fifth round of the 2016 MLB draft by the Toronto Blue Jays.

He didn’t exhibit any power in his first year but the walk and strikeout rates were very good. In his second season, he went 11/11 in 556 plate appearances. The strikeout rate ticked up to 25.2% and the walk rate was 13.3%, but the batting average was a meh .233. When he went up to Double-A in 2018, the strikeout rate ticked up to 26.3% but so did the ISO to .247. He went 26/20 in 563 plate appearances and wedding bells were ringing all across the land.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Well, the season is upon us!  Injury season!  As if last year wasn’t bad enough, we get another chance to drive ourselves mad over the increasing number of injuries, covid vaccine complications, and even video game-related injuries.  I remember one time when I was just a young lad, probably no more than 10 years old when a certain video game was introduced to me!  “Leisure Suit Larry”.  If you are not familiar, it is a graphic adventure game where you play the role of a 38-year-old virgin who still lives in your mothers’ basement.  With only $98 in your pocket a sweet ass Leisure Suit, you have to move up the ranks and seduce the likes of a sex worker, a bar drunk, a girl next door, and finally the perfect 10!  How does this story correlate to today?  Glad you asked!  Jesus Luzardo injured his hand while banging the coffee table, and there was a time when I had this game and I injured my hand bang……..wait.  Let’s get back to baseball!  

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Have you ever refused to draft a player that’s been hyped up because you’re not ready to be hurt again? You look at him in league after league, draft after draft and tell yourself to stay strong and not give in. You’ve been down this road before and gotten burned. Then the season starts and your guy is everything you wanted him to be and more. But he’s not on your roster and you’re forced to watch him do his thing for someone else. Fortunately, DFS is your second chance. I didn’t want to buy into Byron Buxton (OF: $4,400) and his tantalizing potential. I’ve drafted him many times before only to be let down. This season, however, he seems to have it figured out and is lighting the world on fire. Yes he commands a high price but you can’t say it’s not warranted.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I means…The average of all Johns divided by X is the Means, and he stands in the middle of the field on the mound, so Means is also the Median. I am your math wizard! Bow down while I don a top hat with sparkles and flair! Who told you to draft John Means in every league? Was it…*takes a pause long enough to fly around the globe ten times in a prop plane*…me? Really? Damn, sounds like a smart guy, who drifts in and out of third person. Yesterday, John Means went 9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 0 walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 1.37. John Means not getting a perfect game because of a dropped third strike is just another way baseball is very accessible to a new generation of fans. As for Means, I’d say I told you so, but clearly it’s very obvious I told you so, so (stutterer!) we’ll move on without embarrassing anyone. *dons very embarrassing cape and top hat* Toodles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

The time has come. This is my moment. 

Perhaps you’re here because you feel a similar way about minor league opening day. 

As a prospect person who started the gig in September of 2019, I have been waiting on the world to change for as long as I can remember, partly because I can only remember eleven seconds at a time. It’s been a slow universe for the baseball-development fan with a fast-twitch mind, so let’s not waste any more moments here in the intro, you know?

Please, blog, may I have some more?