Did you know Huascar Ynoa signed as a 16-year-old, when he was likely 10 years old, because the Braves scout players when they’re in Latin American T-ball? “The kid throws 97 as an 8-year-old, we might want to throw $500 his family’s way so he signs with us for twelve years.” That’s a Braves scout. By the way, according to prospect grades, Latin American T-ball is comparable to Double-A. If Huascar would’ve held out, he would’ve been a 1st round draft pick and everyone would be crazy about him. Ya know? Yeah, ya know Ynoa. He’s on the list of the top ten velocity increasers this year, up to 96+ MPH on his fastball, and he has two pitches — an 85 MPH slider is the other. Both are wipeout, bye-bye, ‘say hello to your mother for me’ type pitches. Yesterday, he had the most Ks for a 22-year-old Braves pitcher since 2013 (Teheran), going 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.75. With two pitches, he could get some mileage around the league once, twice, three times a Ynoa, or be out of the rotation in a few weeks. Absolutely would grab him in all leagues to see if he can keep it up each time around the track.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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With beloved Razzball writer Ralph Lifschitz finally revealing his true identity on Twitter, I realized it came down to me — the pitcher ranker and weekend editor — to unmask the final mystery man of Razzball: Grey Albright himself. So I invited the Fantasy Master Lothario to a fancy brunch that I never showed up to. Instead, I snuck into Razzball HQ…which wasn’t hard to do because Donkey Teeth is there literally every minute of every day searching for shirtless pics of Yusei Kikuchi. Grey never locks his office because he feels that he gives away all of his data for free on the internet; there’s no reason for anybody to break in. Except, for the holy grail: the real identity of the Master Lothario.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

This week has provided a windfall of blurbs, as we shake off the early season roster machinations and tilt, with steampunk goggles adorned, into the full gale force winds of early April player blurbs. The player you drafted in the 13th round is hitting sub-.200, so it’s definitely time to drop, right? According to some player blurbs, yes. Look, here’s a Rule 5 guy, and he already has 16 RBI+Runs, and has stolen 3 bases. Soon, you will see the words that are like lines of Pixie Stick dust to a room full of 10 year old boys:

“Small sample size…we know this level of production is unsustainable…BUT.”

This BUT is a large BUT. It is bigger than Butte, Montana. This BUT is bigger than all the Kardashian buttockses put together into a Mecha Kardassian. E! hasn’t pivoted to reality/kaiju/mech yet, but anything’s possible if you can simply remind Kris that she hasn’t entirely ruined her family’s mental health. Asides aside, do not give into the temptation of the BUT. You do not want to be the person dropping their 13th rounder for a 5th OF who might be a 4th OF in a best case scenario. Promise me you will stay true to your fantasy heart. I know it can be hard. My roto team is batting sub .200 so far. Sob. Promise me you’ll stay the course.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Ah! My good and noble reader! It has been too long since last I regaled you with tales of my raising of an army for the RazzSlam!

Things are… not going well, I’m afraid.

With the injury to Austin Nola documented in my original missives, to the occasional negative-earning performance by Danny Jansen and the continued toiling on the farm of one Adley Rutschmann, I can on very few occasions secure scoring of any kind from both of my catcher positions. Which, given my unabashed and very public distaste for the role, brings me no shortage of rage.

I find myself, as of this writing, mired in 220th place, of 240 competitors. I do not intend, dear reader, to remain at such a mockable rank as this, and so I have turned my efforts to the mysterious legend that can save one and all from the fates of injury, demotion, and generally piss-poor performance.

Have you heard, then, of the legendary FAABidden Island?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Tyler Naquin. Is that an official sentence? Anyone? Typically I wouldn’t be buying into him, but allow me to explain why I have picked him up in two of my primary leagues. In one league I have Ketel Marte on the IL, but since I have David Fletcher on bench I was able to plug him into my 2B spot. By the way, you should all own Fletcher considering I insisted upon it prior to drafts. And this was exactly why. His draft day price tag was well below his actual value and to have him on your bench just in case made him a great draft day buy. Fletcher isn’t off to a great start by any means, but with 42 plate appearances, only Mark Canha, Marcus Semien and Jose Altuve have stepped into the batters box more often this season. The more plate appearances, the more opportunity for points. The Angels are in the top five teams for runs scored and being at the top of that lineup provides a promising outlook. But this opening paragraph was supposed to be about Naquin and why I’ve added him to my rosters. The simple answer is because I had the bench spot to see where this hot streak ends with Ketel to the IL in one league and Quintana to scrap heap in another. Tyler Naquin leads all hitters in fantasy points. That’s certainly not going to last for long, but I wasn’t going to let someone else benefit from another week or two of potential points. And if I get the chance, I will we include him into a trade to sweeten the deal. Worst case scenario is that I drop him in two weeks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Razzball Patreon members receive our weekly podcast where Grey cackles about the funniest news stories we’ve found over the past week, plus you get that warm fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite fantasy sports site in all the land.

It’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. First we report on Lil Nas X’s newly released shoes with actual human blood inside, followed up by the breaking news of a gang of French Lego looters on the loose. Then Billy covers the story of the man who ran into the grocery store, only to find 15,000 bees waiting for him in the car when he came out. And later we get the scoop on an abandoned mall turned into a high school.

Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month, or upgrade to receive the weekly podcast plus early access to all of Grey’s 2021 fantasy baseball buy/sell posts for just $13/month!

Watch our teaser videos from this week’s episode below, just a little taste of what you’ll receive by subscribing to the weekly hour long show:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Hey there! Thank you for returning after my inaugural debut here on Razzball and hope this week you got your bankrolls a little more plentiful. I bet if that’s the case you had to decide to start a lesser owned player or two that wasn’t getting the “buzz” before the games that day on Twitter or some of the other DFS sites you frequent and you went your own way. Well good for you! I hope you have learned by now you have to do that to gain that edge on the other players out there that are also waking up at 7:00 in the morning to do their research on the day’s games as well. Finding those diamonds in the roughs and those forgotten guys are must haves in your lineups these days. The days of getting your lineup in 10 minutes before the start of the games are not working out for the most part I’m sure for you. You need to be watching these games yourself and put in the time to do your own research and get familiar with all the terms that are out there in evaluating players these days. This week I’m going to focus on hitting on some of those lesser owned guys that most likely won’t be targeted but you want to have in your lineup. Now this being said, you are going to have to roster players that are going to be heavily owned to get that floor for your team but there are always going to be one or two players that are in the winning lineups that hardly anyone has, that’s the difference between you cashing and not.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

“Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong…oh, and Just Dong. Then, when you get tired, and wanna go home, Just Dong some more.” That was the guy who hired Quasimodo to ring the bell at Notre Dame. It was also the Red Sox yesterday. Leading the Red Sox yesterday in the Just Dong parade of Just Dongers was none other than, you guessed it, Just Dong Martinez (4-for-6, 4 runs, 4 RBIs), who hit his 3rd, 4th and 5th homers, as he hits .472. Hey, Preseason Grey who hated J.D. Martinez, you suck. Always seem to get myself in trouble when I try to time the end of guys’ productiveness, rather than just going with guys until they’re no longer liable. Whit Merrifield and Nelson Cruz come to mind, too. So, I trust Just Dong now, right? Well, no, not entirely, but I also can’t point to any reason not to trust him, so process of elimination tells me, he’s a younger version of Nelson Cruz. Call him Nelson Dongz. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

It’s week three of Fantasy Baseball and that can only mean one thing: it’s time for overreactions! Jacob deGrom did what he does (20+ strikeouts between his 2 starts) with the Mets still managing to lose both games. One of those was on Saturday, where Trevor Rodgers went tit-for-tat with deGrom. We also, were treated to both versions of Frankie Montas, a stinker against the Dodgers where he lasted 2.2 innings and got shelled for 7 runs, and then on Saturday against another powerful lineup, the Astros, Montas went 6 innings of 1 run ball and 5 strikeouts, leaving us exactly where we were, not knowing which guy will show up. With many of the pitchers second starts coming Sunday, we should have a clearer picture on who is worth what by the end of said day, and this upcoming week has a lot of intriguing matchups so let’s get going.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Well, just over one week into the season, who is ready to dump Ozzie Albies and who is ready to trade the farm for Chris Owings? OK, no one with a functioning brain will do any of those two things, but that is the reaction some fantasy owners are feeling at this point of the fantasy season.

If this were the middle of July, a bad week from Albies and a hot week from Owings wouldn’t move the needle much in the fantasy world. But when the season is brand new, who’s who and who’s not leads to excess celebration or hair pulling. These rankings will reward those who produced and punish those who had a bad stretch of play – though there are always exceptions as we have to look forward and not always in the rear view mirror.

With that in mind, you won’t see Albies sitting at the top of the rankings as the best second baseman – but he is still ranked. Six players who weren’t ranked in the final preseason rankings are now listed below, though one of them – Jonathan India – was a player to watch during those final rankings. So let’s stop wasting time and get to the rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?