“Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong…oh, and Just Dong. Then, when you get tired, and wanna go home, Just Dong some more.” That was the guy who hired Quasimodo to ring the bell at Notre Dame. It was also the Red Sox yesterday. Leading the Red Sox yesterday in the Just Dong parade of Just Dongers was none other than, you guessed it, Just Dong Martinez (4-for-6, 4 runs, 4 RBIs), who hit his 3rd, 4th and 5th homers, as he hits .472. Hey, Preseason Grey who hated J.D. Martinez, you suck. Always seem to get myself in trouble when I try to time the end of guys’ productiveness, rather than just going with guys until they’re no longer liable. Whit Merrifield and Nelson Cruz come to mind, too. So, I trust Just Dong now, right? Well, no, not entirely, but I also can’t point to any reason not to trust him, so process of elimination tells me, he’s a younger version of Nelson Cruz. Call him Nelson Dongz. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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It’s week three of Fantasy Baseball and that can only mean one thing: it’s time for overreactions! Jacob deGrom did what he does (20+ strikeouts between his 2 starts) with the Mets still managing to lose both games. One of those was on Saturday, where Trevor Rodgers went tit-for-tat with deGrom. We also, were treated to both versions of Frankie Montas, a stinker against the Dodgers where he lasted 2.2 innings and got shelled for 7 runs, and then on Saturday against another powerful lineup, the Astros, Montas went 6 innings of 1 run ball and 5 strikeouts, leaving us exactly where we were, not knowing which guy will show up. With many of the pitchers second starts coming Sunday, we should have a clearer picture on who is worth what by the end of said day, and this upcoming week has a lot of intriguing matchups so let’s get going.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Well, just over one week into the season, who is ready to dump Ozzie Albies and who is ready to trade the farm for Chris Owings? OK, no one with a functioning brain will do any of those two things, but that is the reaction some fantasy owners are feeling at this point of the fantasy season.

If this were the middle of July, a bad week from Albies and a hot week from Owings wouldn’t move the needle much in the fantasy world. But when the season is brand new, who’s who and who’s not leads to excess celebration or hair pulling. These rankings will reward those who produced and punish those who had a bad stretch of play – though there are always exceptions as we have to look forward and not always in the rear view mirror.

With that in mind, you won’t see Albies sitting at the top of the rankings as the best second baseman – but he is still ranked. Six players who weren’t ranked in the final preseason rankings are now listed below, though one of them – Jonathan India – was a player to watch during those final rankings. So let’s stop wasting time and get to the rankings.

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I’m very pleased with how Week 1 went down! Five of our six streamers looked great going into Sunday, and the only one that didn’t pitch well had their matchup changed on us! What kind of crap is that? Anyway, this week is a bit tougher than the last. Most of the two-start guys are owned in every league, and it’s going to force us to make a couple of risky picks. That means it might be a better week to ride the one-start streamers instead, but if your feeling ballsy, let’s ride the wave with Wade!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Welcome back friends. You are either lost or you loved my 1st installment of “DFS Sunday Musings” (I just made that name up). There is no in between. If you are lost take a seat anyway and get ready for some top of the line tout work. Lets win some money, shall we?

If we were playing baseball karma fantasy, Marcus Stroman would be justified as the highest priced play. He is the top pitcher on the main slate today on FanDuel at $9,400. He is $900 more then the next pitcher. Since this is baseball and not feel good DFS I am automatically fading him, as the title suggests. Don’t get me wrong Stroman helps the Mets win, but he will not help us win money today. He lacks strikeout potential. The first thing I learned about MLB DFS is to pay up for K’s. That has held true since I heard it and might be the truest thing in any DFS. At 3 points a K (only 6 for a win and 3 per inning pitched) nothing helps you rack up points quickly more then a pitcher missing bats. Okay so don’t play Stro you say, fine, who should we play? I was about to get to that…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Look, I know I left some puns on the table there. Just feels like kind of a solemn moment, you know? We’ve been waiting for Tampa Bay RHP Brent Honeywell so long we might as well be Winnie the Pooh stuck in Rabbit’s doorway. And like Pooh, Honeywell is easy to root for: his elbow all stuffed with fluff. Cut to Eeyore murmuring “He’s only the opener.” But even Eeyore can’t dampen my enthusiasm. I’m like Christopher Robin out here skipping along in my tiny shorts. Weeeee!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Just over a week into the season means it is time to update our rest of the season Top 100 hitter rankings.  Logically, Yermin Mercedes will be rated as the number one hitter in this edition, because we cannot miss the next big thing!  Ok, Yermin Mercedes is a 28-year-old rookie that reminds me more of Allen Craig than Babe Ruth.  Will he be valuable for your fantasy team?  Probably not unless you can time the luck infused hot streaks!

So how does this Top 100 hitter update work?  Every few weeks we will update the list highlighting key movers for better or worse.  Unlike the preseason hitter profiles, we will focus on highlighting more players with quicker insights.  Think of it like the Eddie Gaedel of articles.  We will be short but surprisingly effective.  Without further ado and random baseball references, here are the Top 100 hitters for the rest of the fantasy baseball season.

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What is up everybody? Yeah, I know you’re checking your calendars right now. “Everywhere, aren’t you supposed to be here on Mondays?” Yes, I’ll be here on Mondays for ever and ever and ever, at least until the Greybot gives up and sells the site to Venutian Real Estate Prospectors. But, keen-eyed readers will remember that yours truly was promoted to “Clubbie,” and I’ve been filling out my desk with stolen lunches and dirtied laundry of the Razzball staff. I also get an extra DFS column every other Saturday. So, uh, hi!

Now, for DFS, I want you taking advantage of recency bias. Why? Because Rudy’s got your regressed data ready in the DFS Bot and I’m not going to replicate what he’s doing. Ya know — best of both worlds stuff! That said, I wish you the best of luck with whatever DFS slates you enter today, and here’s who I think has a chance of making the highlight reel today:

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Joe Musgrove pitched the first no-hitter in Padres history Friday night, but this isn’t about him. It’s not about how he dominated the dreadful (so, so bad) Texas Rangers line up allowing just a single hit batsman to reach base in the fourth inning. Or how he he struck out 10 of these so, so bad Rangers. Moss Grove is already owned in all fantasy leagues. If he’s available well then by all means go pick him up now. This is about a player you can pick up. The Cleveland Baseball Team’s new, maybe, possibly, could be, I really don’t know but can you imagine if it was, closer Emmanuel Clase. Manny got his first save of the season Friday night pitching a perfect inning with two strikeouts. That’s right. Clase Closed. It’s almost too perfect. He did it with just 14 pitches. He reached 100 mph on 11 of those pitches and topped out at 101.2 mph with his cutter. Sweet sassy molasse! Let’s give him the chop! James Karinchak was the de facto closer in many minds going into the season but he’s blown a save and he’s also anti-VAX which is not a good look right now. We just might have ourselves a bit of a committee. So let’s speculate. Considering only Nick Wittgren and Clase have gotten saves so far, and Nick Wittgren doesn’t have a 101.2 mph cutter, hmm, imma grab Clase if I’ve targeting saves, or just some stinky, smelly cheese. He’s got the stuff to run away with the ninth inning gig in C-Land and the Cleveland Baseball Team’s closer has usually paid rich fantasy dividends in the past. I wouldn’t drop your James Karinchaks for him just yet, but I’d grab him wherever I needed saves. Clase closed! Ha! I love it!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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Howdy, folks.

Another doozy of a week. I don’t know what it is about this year, but hamstrings and shoulders are DOOMED. Feels like 90% of the injuries I keep getting updates about are “hamstring tightness” or “pulled up lame” or “sore shoulder” or “shoulder inflammation.” Ugh.

If by some stroke of insane luck you’ve managed to avoid injury to this point, no doubt this week the fantasy baseball gods deemed you unworthy after all. I told you in the title that I had bad news. Well, let’s get to it:

Please, blog, may I have some more?