That pun is so good, I don’t even feel bad for never seeing the movie. I have read the book though, and while my generational weirdness for doing it reverse should be questioned, I do want to point out that in my defense, I have no way to tie any of this into the gist of this post. (Your mom’s a gist.) So without having to mash the keyboard and hoping I can somehow take you from a wonderful pun straight into the lede and make it all feel connected, we’ve saved some time by just describing what I would have done. Something like that. Look, this is a two-minimum drink lede that technically went nowhere. Well, I mean, we did technically scroll down a bit to get here, but I can’t fathom typing up another paragraph commenting on that distinction.

So spoilers aside (Winker to the moon!), I’ve been digging what Winker has been doing. Fourth grade writing level aside, the season is still young, but some trends are emerging, or perhaps that stage between not emerging and emerging. Sorta-merging maybe. Specifically, Jesse Winker has been able to start the season hot, but perhaps more importantly, has only been able to get hot by carving some playing time out of a crowded outfield. To the numbers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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One more week in the book and we’re starting to see guys separate themselves. It’s still early but things are starting to clear up and the season is in full swing. So what have learned? Ronald Acuna is pretty dang good at hitting a baseball and we should have taken Corbin Burnes earlier. If you were fortunate enough to snag either of them congrats and if you have both well… you’re the envy of the rest of your league. But we all know those two are crushing it, you don’t need me to tell you that. Now, on to some other players to take note of.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Ty France ($3,200) is crushing this year with a 166 wRC+ and a 92nd percentile xwOBA. The Mariners are a fantastic value stack in an extreme hitter’s environment in Fenway Park, and France will be batting second in the lineup. Opposing starter Martin Perez has a 5.93 ERA and righties like France have the advantage against the southpaw. It’s perfect Tyming to get France in your lineups.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

The Reds’ bullpen are the Nasty Boys again. Not in the good way though. In the Janet Jackson way. . .Nasty, nasty boys, don’t mean a thing. Lucas Sims (1 IP, 3 ER) came in and pitched a clean, sexy 9th inning, like a closer might. Then the 10th inning came, and–did Amir Garrett sneeze on him? Yo, I put this CD-Rom in my computer, fired up the dial-up, and began to clothe my Sims family for this? Are you kidding? Reds’ bullpen is so bad, it made the Dbags’ pen look good, but only by comparison, because Kevin Ginkel (2/3 IP, 1 ER); Yoan Lopez (2/3 IP, 1 ER); Stefan Crichton (1/3 IP, 2 ER) trust me, are not good. I’m actually holding out hope that Joakim Soria returns as the closer, and I already know he’s gonna suck. Not because I’ve seen the future, but because I’ve seen the past! Eight home runs left Great American Ballpark yesterday, and they hadn’t seen so many dongs since Marge Schott was breeding bulldogs. Since there’s so many dingers, let’s get on the other side of the ‘anyway’ to go over them. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

“He has the package. If we are able to tap into that, watch out. He could be the next [Randy] Arozarena”   – Luis Ortiz, hitting coach for the Texas Rangers

That’s high praise but is he in the best shape of his life? When are they not? So, who is this player that has the potential to help power a team to the World Series? I’m trying to make you move up to the edge of your seat, sweat in anticipation of the big reveal but who am I kidding? Most will just gloss over these words and gravitate to the bolded letters. Ah, such is the life of a fantasy blogger. Just writing words into the vast void of the internet, never to be consumed by 99% of the masses. Hi, mom! So Adolis Garcia has hit two home runs in 29 plate appearances. He’s been batting cleanup at times for the Rangers. Can he be the next Arozarena? Let’s dig in and find out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Coolwhip is writing about a Pirate (again)??? I know. As much as I/we make fun of them, somehow they keep showing up. The first article I ever wrote here at Razzball was on Josh Bell. I also have written about Bryan Reynolds. And now, we could be seeing the subtle breakout of Colin Moran. He’s become a bit of a forgotten man over the years. Nowadays, his name doesn’t carry much weight on draft day. And aside from a hot run last year he doesn’t inspire much after either. I get it, he’s been about as yawnstipating as they come. But, did you know he used to be a thing?

Back in 2013, he was the 6th overall pick in the draft by the Marlins. Around him, Kris Bryant was taken 2nd overall while other notables came later like Tim Anderson (17th), Aaron Judge (32nd), and Cody Bellinger (124th). Big things were expected of him that hadn’t materialized. His prospect card reads as 50+ tools across the board on offense minus speed. Well, 2014 the Marlins made a trade: they sent 3B Colin Moran along with OF Jake Marisnick, P Francis Martes (who?), and a 2015 compensation pick to the Astros for SP Jarred Cosart (he was relevant for a second), SS Enrique (Kiké) Hernandez, and OF Austin Wates (who?). There were rumors that Moran was under consideration as the Astros’ first overall selection in 2013 (Mark Appel, that sure didn’t pan out huh?) and so they still got their guy. Though he didn’t exactly light up High-A that year (.294/.342/.393).

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I will be wrong!  I realize that this a very odd way to start a “suggestive” article, but it’s entirely true.  I will be wrong this week, as I have been wrong the past 3 weeks.  What is beautiful about this statement?  The mere fact that while I may be wrong, there are going to be things that I get correct as well.  Who is 2nd in the MLB at the time of writing?  Mark Canha, yes, the very same Mark Canha who back in Week 1 I recommended picking up for runs.  Injures shoulder patting self on back.  Maybe this is how Juan Soto hurt his shoulder?   With my shoulder now injured, and a trip to the IL imminent, good ole Grey has summoned me back into the on-deck circle for another AB.  This time, I look at you Jay Bruce…..my shoulder is very safe from any pats on the back.  He retired for crying out loud.  The article giveth, and the article taketh.

What does all of this mean?  What it means is that while I want to just give you all the info needed, I would love more than anything to teach you why these suggestions make sense on a week in and week out basis.  You may see some redundant names here and there, but all in all, let’s find the competitive edge and dominate another week of Head to Head.  Without further ado, here is Week 4.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Welcome to short slate Thursday. Today we’re treated to eight games. Fortunately, there are still plenty of strong options and good values. One such value play is  Ian Happ, OF: $2,400 – Don’t let the low batting average scare you away, he’s been unlucky so far. That means it’s only a matter of time until the hits start dropping. His price is low enough that you can afford to take a chance today is that day. The bot’s projections look good so don’t be scared.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Dinelson Lamet went 2 IP, 0 ER, 4 Ks as he was activated from the IL, and left with forearm tightness as he heads back to the IL. Last time I wrote about him, I wrote, “Will make season debut today or tomorrow, which puts him on pace for Tommy John surgery on May 12th, give or take three days.” And that’s me predicting the woefully obvious! I might’ve overestimated how long he’d stay healthy. The Padres should trade their trainers back to the Mets. Lamet could already be six months into his Tommy John rehab. Now he’s on pace for throwing a game when, August 2022? Could’ve been April 2022 if they would’ve reacted promptly. There’s no excuse. Sorry, if they won’t be the grownups, I will! Send him for surgery and bring up MacKenzie Gore! No one wants Dr. James Andrews to purchase a hot tub that fits inside his other hot tub like he’s got the Inception of hot tubs designed by Xzibit, but Lamet’s surgery needs to happen! *Grey angrily takes a bite out of laptop, sparks fly* Let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?