Week 5 wasn’t as good as Week 4, but I’m far from disappointed. The only real blunder was Jakob Junis, and he didn’t even start! He was strangely removed from the rotation and proceeded to get blown up in a bullpen role. That means you guys probably didn’t stream him anyway, which means we’ll take the win! The rest of the streamers picked up numerous quality starts, and I’m very pleased with how risky many of those picks looked. I feel way more confident about these streamers, though, so let’s go ahead and start riding the wave!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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We had our first brutally bad week last Sunday. Basically, everything I told you to do was wrong. I said to roster Mahle and Jaiver over Scherzer. I told you guys to roster the Tigers vs Kluber. Well Mad Max pitched a complete game and struck out pretty much everyone and Kluber pitched 7 crafty innings with a enough K’s to have a big day shutting down Detroit who is the worst offense in baseball (I tell you now right). I could say something about PROCESS over RESULTS which is absolutely true but you have your process (hopefully, wait you guys have a process right?). You come here for some +EV plays boost your lineups and I failed you, badly. Its bound to happen, but not like this.

Seriously, its a good learning experience. Don’t listen to a word I say. Ok, for real, seriously, we are up overall if you’ve used good contest entry strategy and bankroll management. So, lets just pick up the pieces and get ready to get that money today. I wont say “lets go!” because its been so played out by the Topshot bros and many other “bros”. We need something though to get us amped up for this week, lets fu*#ing go baby! Much better.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I got my 2nd Pfizer shot today (Saturday), so the goal here is to finish this piece before I pass out. Might not be able to fold in all the Saturday games. Have heard vax part deux can hit pretty quick, and I can confirm that my internal temperature is all over the place. Sorry if the drugs fail to enhance my performance. If I miss anything here that you’d like to discuss in this space, let me know and I’ll double back on Wednesday.

Early on this season, I’ll roll with a league-by-league, whip-around format.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was an overall sad day in May when the Angels released one of the best baseball players in history.  Equally as sad, may be the reality that it was the right move for the Angels to move on from Albert Pujols as possibly the best player in history is toiling in the mediocrity of the AL West.  Mike Trout is well on his way to another MVP season and this move will ensure we see more playing time for Jared Walsh and Shohei Ohtani.  While odd to see value in this lineup, it is an exciting time to watch the Angels and capitalize on some talent in their lineup.  Moreover, Trout never ceases to give a pun-driven headline.

While I sit here and dream up the 10-day contract that Pujols should sign with the Cardinals to hit the last homer of his career, you can continue with the rest of the season top 100 hitter rankings for 2021 fantasy baseball.  Without ado here is the rundown:

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Wade Miley had it going on Friday night in Cleveland pitching his first career no-hitter allowing just one walk and base runner reaching on an error while striking out eight batters for his fourth win of the year. Wait–he did what? Spit Take! It was just his second complete game shutout in ever, that’s right folks, in ever. In over 250 starts, Miley had only completed nine innings once before, back in April 2016 against the Royals. OK, so that seems normal. Miley joins Joe Musgrove, Carlos Rodon, and John Means for the fourth no-hitter this year and it’s only May (and we’re not even counting Madison Bumgarner’s 7-inning no-no)! Yep, that also seems totally normal. Certainly nothing wrong with the abysmal offenses on a lot of MLB clubs right now. And let’s not forget to mention this was the second time the Cleveland Baseball Team has been no-hit this season. I know pitchers tend to have the advantage earlier in the year, while batters heat up when the weather gets hot, hot, hot–but this seems a little silly, no? Not that I’m complaining. After refusing to draft a starting pitching until the 8th round, I now have fantasy teams that roster several pitchers with no-hitters this season. NBD #humblebrag. Wade’s been more than serviceable this year rocking a 2.00 ERA, 0.75 WHIP, and 27/8 K/BB ratio but I can’t imagine any stats I throw at you are going to make you add this guy. It’s Wade Miley! The bigger story here is how bad some of these offenses have been. As for Miley, he remains a streamer in most leagues but gets a juicy start with Pittsburgh next week. He’s playing for his seventh team in 10 years so it’s not unusual if you got some warm fuzzies from Miley’s big night. He’s a genuinely great clubhouse presence and you’ve likely rooted for him at some point in the past decade when he played for your own local baseball team. So Wade To Go Miley!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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What’s up, everydegenerate? I believe that’s the proper pronoun for DFS players, right? We’ve got a full slate of baseball on this beautiful Saturday, to which I’ll be able to watch maybe thirty minutes of baseball thanks to all the blackouts and lack of streaming options on YouTube TV. Whatever MLB wants me to watch is what I’ll report to you! On the plus side, it gives me more time to look at box scores and deep analytics. Up on the downside, Soundgarden. [waits for 2 people to get that joke]. Let’s jump in and see some options for your DFS slate today! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello again, dear Razzgals and guys.

I’m here to bring you your daily dose of Saturday morning bad news. The injuries this year are truly somethin’ else. I really can’t remember any sport having a season like this aside from last year’s COVID fest. What a pure joy it is to be the bearer of bad news yet again for you all. I do apologize. Please understand I am just the messenger and am suffering right along with you.

Buckle up, folks. Whole lotta names on the docket this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?


First, allow me to share a story, uh, shared by frequent commenter, Travis Hafner. The Pronk One:

So, do we think Harrison Bader is into Pikachu or Mankey? Polyps? More like Poliwag or Poliwhirl! “Do you mind if I call you Jigglypuff?” That’s Harrison Bader talking to Yadier Molina. Harrison Bader looks at a fruit basket and is like, “Does anyone want this Flapple or can I have it?” Is this all gibberish or am I actually saying real words or am I reading aloud while I edit a Pokemonpedia? Who’s to say! In that fantastic story from Travis Hafner that I want to make all about Pokemon is a little tidbit about how Bader had polyps in his nose which hurt his equilibrium and his hitting. Reminds me of the time I had collagen sucked out of my face because my card was declined and now they say I got po’ lips. Sad for me, but positive for Bader, because he had surgery and it’s fixed. That could legitimately help him take his game to the next level. He’s been hitting this week, and I would absolutely grab him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It works because I literally am in the need of a new belt! Wow, as if time and space collided with both my content and consumer needs. And while you shouldn’t care about what or why I Amazon the things I do, you should care about one Brandon Belt. What is this, circa 2010? Once the perpetual little engine at 1B who just couldn’t quite do it, he has grown, perhaps even evolved into what we have now, a mediocre producer at a position where mediocrity goes to die. My life story! And so after averaging around 15 homeruns and roughly a .250ish average for the past millennia, what exactly has changed this year and why should you care? Give me a chance to tell ya, or at the very least, convince you to go shopping for the perfect pants accessory.

So not to burst the hype train, but what I think makes Brandon Belt a bit more attention-grabbing this season is the fact that while he’s doing what he usual does, there’s some great underlying signs that Belt could end up having a quietly stronger season than he usually has combined with the fact that his value has been going down the past 15 years and if you want to try on this Belt (MORE FASHION PUNS), it’s not that hard of a thing to do any more.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The season is in full swing and unfortunately players are dropping like flies. Is it just me or does it feel like injuries have been through the roof this season? Don’t forget to check out JKJ’s injury roundup for the prognosis. Likely you’re now in need of replacements and if your team has avoided the injury bug, well good for you. In any case a little extra depth is never a bad thing. We’ll mostly be looking at hitters today but there is one notable pitcher who deserves your attention. Dylan Cease has turned in back to back starts that were everything you could hope for. The Ks are flowing, and the ceiling is the roof. His raw stuff is amazing but his control has always held him back. He was my bold pick for Cy Young so I’m loving watching him put it all together. He won’t last long.

Please, blog, may I have some more?