2021 Razzball Videos

Liked Jake Odorizzi (5 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.75) going into this year, but lost enthusiasm for him. Of course, I totally saw this game coming:

The accuracy of my big-ass brain astounds even me. Yo, is anyone sure I’m not a time traveler? Are you? I’m going to go to the past right now and have sex with your mom nine months before you’re born. That’s right, I’m your daddy! Take out the trash, by the way. Right now, boy! I don’t care if garbage day isn’t until Thursday and you’re 52 years old, which is much, much, much older than me! I am your daddy! Okay, so I didn’t foresee Odorizzi’s start yesterday. Didn’t think he could go more than 3-4 innings, because the way the Astros have been using him. For now, I’d use the Streamonator on Odorizzi, and be careful, because of how wonky his usage has been. This is coming from prior experience, which is very extensive due to time travel. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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It was Father’s Day, and Grey held close to his heart a framed picture of Eric Karabell. He’s not my real father, Grey thought, Just the father of fantasy baseball. A tear dropped from his eye, landing on his T-shirt emblazoned with Gritty, the beloved mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers. His phone rang, and Grey placed the picture frame back on the headboard of his bed, where it stood as a beacon of inspiration and hope. Reaching into the pocket of his Bermuda shorts, Grey pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. “Fantasy Master Lothario Grey Albright speaking.”

“It’s Wander season,” the voice on the other end said, before clicking an end to the call. Grey dropped the phone from his hand, his jaw slack. He ran to his personal calendar — a Huey Lewis and the News calendar — and flipped to July. In bold letters it said, “WANDER SZN” and had arrows pointing everywhere, as if depicting wind directions for a hurricane. “This can’t be,” he muttered to himself, flipping back to June, where the album cover to Sports greeted him. “It’s Schwarbs SZN right now!” he said, eliminating the vowels. He fetched his phone from the floor, flipping it back open. The 3G indicated it was disabled, likely broken in the fall. “My lineups!” he shouted, more tears falling upon Gritty’s ecstatic visage. Would Grey get Wander on any teams? Would Eric Karabell ever recognize Grey? Stay tuned for the next installment!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

On Sunday, Nathan Eovaldi had a start against the Kansas City Royals. The Royals have been screwing over my fantasy pitching for years, friends. I forgot to bench him, and he gave up seven hits in four innings, including a homer to Whit Merrifield and some doubles to Adalberto Mondesi. I had a feeling that my curse would be continued though, and I checked replays. There they were: Run scoring bloop singles from the likes of Jarrod Dyson. One hit split the infield perfectly with the bases loaded. A blurb might tell this story, but in a way that’s not as painful. 

I tell this story to illustrate the relationship we have with our fantasy teams and how it influences our behavior. Hittertron had Eovaldi’s start as a neutral one, but my curse acted as a hitting buff on the Royals like I got a bad roll with the RNG and baseball is a role playing game. I take this sequitur that firmly lives in the non world because sometimes you have to ignore fantasy advice. I keep waiting for my curse to be lifted. Not that day friends, and never again. Never will I start my pitcher against the Royals.

Or I’ll ignore my own advice, and do it anyway so I can write another introduction wherein I create a Russian nesting dolls of self-inflicted humiliation and regret. On to the blurbs!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Razzball Patreon members receive our weekly podcast where Grey cackles about the funniest news stories we’ve found over the past week, plus you get that warm fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite fantasy sports site in all the land.

It’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. First up, a woman is shocked to discover a deep fried towel in her chicken order.  Then a Boston man is shallowed by a humpback whale only to be spit out; same thing that happened to Grey. Finally, for the grand finale NBC halts production of their slip and slide show due to explosive diarrhea!

Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month, or upgrade to receive the weekly podcast plus early access to all of Grey’s 2021 fantasy baseball buy/sell posts for just $13/month!

Watch our teaser video from this week’s episode below, just a little taste of what you’ll receive by subscribing to the weekly hour long show:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

That’s right, I said it. Let’s Go Islanders!!!! I have been a New York Islanders fan since the second grade. That was back in 1984. Most assume I was an Islanders fan because of the dynasty in which they won the Stanley Cup the four previous seasons. That is not the case. Unfortunately I missed that boat. I was too young at the time. Others then assume that my dad was an Islanders fan. That too is incorrect. My dad was a big New York Yankees fan, but was indifferent when it came to hockey. There are two reasons why I became an Islanders fan. The first is that my best friend in second grade was a big Rangers fan, and he and I used to play street hockey nearly every day. Nearly every day is a probably an exaggeration, but frequently would be a fair assessment. We used to play with milk crates for goals because that’s what we could find in the garage. It actually made us very accurate shooters as we got older. While I did grow up in northern New Jersey, the Devils didn’t move to the Meadowlands until 1982. Back in the eighties, the Rangers’ local rival was the Islanders. Since my buddy always wore a Rangers shirt of some sort, I backed the Islanders to keep the spirit of rivalry alive. However, the real truth behind why I chose the Islanders was because I liked their colors. This fact is a bit ironic considering I don’t like the Mets or Knicks. Perhaps going to Yankee Stadium at the age of two I had already been roped into the Pinstripes. Fast forward to today and any NHL fans know that Islanders fans have endured a very difficult 35 years. Never having watched your favorite sports franchise win the championship sucks. Last year they gave us something to be very excited about. This year they are doing the same with an opportunity to avenge last year’s elimination loss. And in the process they have given Islanders fans such as myself that now live in the Boston area a bit to brag about.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Happy Monday! Hope all you father’s out there had a great day yesterday and it was exactly what you were hoping for. Lots of sports on yesterday so if you just were relaxing and chilling out at home it was a good day to watch a lot of different sports at one time. Today we got another short slate and a doubleheader thrown in there as well so not counting the doubleheader we have a 6 game slate today. During these short slates, I find myself limiting my exposure somewhat as I don’t feel I have as much success as the larger slates in the middle of the week. I’ll usually throw in a few lineups in a single entry tournament or cash game but really it’s just to keep the games interesting and watch some of the players and I’ll use the time to get ready for the rest of the week. That being said the show must go on for today and the pitcher I am targeting today is Tyler Mahle ($8,800). Mahle is one of those pitchers I liked coming into the draft season but it seemed that there was always somebody else who liked him a tad better and would get him a few picks before me.  He has really looked great this season and the first thing that jumped off the page for me is his home and away splits are drastic. Mahle has started 9 of his 14 appearances away from home and is 5-1 with a 1.63 ERA 0.95 WHIP 59 K’s in 49 INN and has allowed only 2 HRs. Mahle has started 5 games at home and let’s just say not good as the ball loves to travel in Great American Ball Park and Mahle has been a victim of that many times so far this year ( 6 HR and 19 ER in 24 INN). Mahle gets the Twins today in an interleague matchup and the Twins are coming off a 3 game road sweep of the Texas Rangers this past weekend. Mahle has a 3 pitch combo he focuses on with a 4 seam rising fastball he likes to pound high in the zone averaging 94 MPH and backs that up with a lethal slider which he has increased the use of this year. Mahle also sports a split-finger fastball which drops in the zone suddenly and batters have had a hard time figuring what is coming next from Mahle as he has terrific command of all three pitches. The Twins are very pedestrian against righties with a .238 Avg .316 OBP and .418 SLG and Mahle has the long leash to go at least 6 INN which he has done his past 3 starts in June. I think you can expect 7 INN 5 Hits 8 K and 1 ER today from Mahle as the Twins really don’t have any power lefties (Kepler, Kiriloff, Larnach) that are producing right now and Mahle limits damage from both sides of the plate.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Hope everyone had a Happy Father’s Day, and, for our five female readers, I hope your husbands or dads weren’t too unbearable. When I heard Wander Franco was being called up, I was on the phone with my patent attorney. See, for Mother’s Day, MLB uses pink bats. My suggestion for Father’s Day is bats with hairy bags hanging off the handle, then when batters are applying pine tar in the on-deck circle the “sticky” stuff can shoot onto their pitchers’ hands. All hot dogs sold that day can have a bite out of them, but weren’t thrown out because ‘Dad’s gonna finish that.’

“Is there anything here that I should trademark?” was what I was asking my patent attorney when the news broke. Then, my internet broke, I swear this happened:

The Fantasy Baseball Overlord mocks me endlessly, does he not? I’m sure Wander Franco was rostered in all my leagues already, but don’t you love to check just to get a burst of agita? I was getting different kinds of agita with screens not loading.

So, Prospect Itch literally just told you his number one fantasy baseball stash yesterday was Wander Franco. I thought I had the number one fantasy baseball ‘stache. Sigh. Clearly, Franco is also the number one fantasy baseball prospect. In Itch’s top 10 fantasy baseball prospects, Wander’s sitting at #1. I can’t add anything meaningful to what Itch wrote. Go there, and read that. I am shocked he’s called up. I was expecting a September call-up. Perhaps the Rays are just big Gallagher brother fans, and plan to play Wander at 2nd to have an all-Oasis middle infield. “Throw to second for one and….wait they held onto the ball and no double play…what is going on…Today was gonna be the day they were gonna throw it back to you!” Damn, thwarted by a love of Wander/Walls. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Welcome to week thirteen sports fans. Last week we saw Walker Buehler and Uncle Chuckles Morton come close to a No-Hitter. Also, the revelation came that Shohei Ohtani will be competing in the home run derby. That will be extremely entertaining to say the least. I’d also like to touch on deGrom. After being pulled from yet another start due to injury. All the tests have shown no damage to the god-like arm but I’m increasingly becoming concerned with it. It could very likely be dead arm but I suppose time will tell. Moving on, this may very well be the last week I pick a No-hitter of the week unless one happens. With that said, my pick is… Kyle Gibson. I’m sure it’s not a popular pick but screw it he’s having a career year.

Onto the news portion. Matthew Boyd felt pain in his triceps and is being evaluated, so it’s wait and see with him. Also, Brady Singer was lifted from his start after three innings due to shoulder tightness and is being evaluated. Another young pitcher Tucker Davidson of the Braves left his start with left forearm tightness and is shut down for 10 days and will be re-evaluated after that. On too the big names. Besides deGroms issues,  Shane Bieber hit the IL with a shoulder strain and  Tyler Glasnow partially tore his UCL and also has a flexor strain. You really hate to see that for Glasnow because he’s most likely going to miss the rest of the season. That’s the news, so let’s get to the two start pitchers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Before the season starts, we devour all the statistics we can about a player in order to determine where we should rank them ahead of our fantasy draft or auction.

We look at home runs, RBI, and slugging percentage. What was a player’s ISO, average exit velocity, and BABIP? How did a player hit over the final month, two months, and/or three months of the previous season? We need to know who was on the decline and who showed improvement.

Then there is a number I always look at – a player’s age, especially when it comes to dynasty leagues. In my preseason rankings, I valued a younger player more than an older player, especially for a redraft/dynasty league. But maybe it is time to put that bias aside and just go with the numbers and my gut.

Why, you may ask? Well, when it comes to the top second basemen this year, youth is being pushed aside by the veterans. Four of my top five ranked second basemen are 30 or older. Out of my top 10 players, seven of them are now in their 30s. So while I love the younger players, perhaps it is not wise to write off those aging players just yet.

So, just who are these veterans showing they can still play the game. Let’s find out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

After a couple of rough weeks, we bounced back big time last week. Pretty much every one of our streamers performed up to expectations, aside from Jake Arrieta. Just saying that annoys me, but we knew that the two-start guys were risky going in. In any case, we’re satisfied with the results, and we’re going to trust the process by abusing terrible lineups like the Pirates, Tigers, Orioles, Rockies, and Rangers. Those teams have been featured heavily in this article all year, and you better believe we’re going to keep exploiting them. There’s a lot to discuss, though, so let’s go back to the well with the Ski-Ball man himself!

Please, blog, may I have some more?