2021 Razzball Videos

Sorry if the title is a little NC-17. NC being North Carolina, baby! A little too sour? Blame the vinegary sauce, like a middle-aged man at a tailgate party, you over-dabbed. So, Jacob deGrom is the greatest pitcher of all-time. Yesterday, he went 3 IP, K’d eight and got one more by fly out, lowering his ERA to 0.54. The only problem is the Mets’ training staff is the world’s worst. World’s worst trainers are in, conveniently enough, a train going 170 MPH. The world’s best starter is on a mound going 101 MPH. At some point, they’re going to intersect and bad things will happen. On May 9th, it was right side discomfort. On June 11th, it was right flexor tendinitis. On June 16th, they’re saying right shoulder soreness. Can we just all assume they have no idea? Jacob deGrom will be great, if healthy, but it doesn’t seem like that’s possible right now. About the only thing he has in common with most starters is they’re injured. By August, each team is going to have one starter, two probables and two doubtfuls. By September, it’s going to be one starter and five scarecrows in the team’s jersey, and one scarecrow is going to pull his elbow tendon by mid-month and the team is going to say he’s day-to-day. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Here I sit in the head-space I visit while creating this content, and I can’t see the prospect world. On a typical Tuesday night, it’s all around me, sometimes filling four screens in between sentences. I’ll have the TV going on two big league games, the laptop going on one minor league game (or vice versa), the desktop screen sliced between research tabs and writing tabs, and the phone screen chirping up at me with pretty lights and chimes. Every dive into the phone means another lap around the box scores for Pavlovian reasons, both majors and minors, and probably a check on the Twitter timeline, where I’ll find any number of highlights, stats and feelings. 

Tonight I’m just sitting here seething on the porch, bouncing between laptop and phone, doomscrolling Spider Tack stuff. Soon enough I’ll head up to the desktop and dig in on my plan for tomorrow’s article, but right now, I thought it might be worth our time to tickle the keys with how it feels to be a baseball fan for the moment. Then I realize I don’t even know how to say it. The first several words to mind begin with F and don’t get us to the deconstruction or reverse engineering phases we need to find to ever really articulate ourselves. Actually, fuck that. How else could you say it today? What the blue fuck is going on here? Who handed these hacks the wheel? Were any actual fans bellyaching all day about the shape of a game? Not that I heard. Every baseball friend I have was excited about the season. Most were planning to attend at least one game. Many had already been. 

And most of these people, they’re still excited, I think, for now. 

But you can’t change the rules of a game in the middle. When kids are playing, that’s the first move toward the end. It’s fine. Games run their course and go poof in the wind. For kids, I mean. They invent on the fly, play a game for a while, then toggle a rule. A timer somewhere begins. The game will see several quick rule changes now as kids embrace every thought for what might happen differently. It’s fine. It’s fun. And then it’s over. 

If you haven’t seen Tyler Glasnow’s Tuesday press conference, you can find it here.

I like how he articulates the proper timing of such a change. I think we can set aside the fact that the baseball itself is always changing for whatever dumbass reason, just for a moment, and look at the preference Glasnow lays out for how baseball could handle this. Just tell us. Just let us know what the rules will be, and then let us play by those rules. Revolutionary. You can change them in the off-season. Hell, the contract between owners and players will have to be resettled this off-season. What better time to restructure the game ever so slightly? I don’t mean to sound like a total jackass here, but you might even want to discuss this Spider Tack issue with the players heading into or as part of the CBA. I dunno. Just spitballing. 

I’m sorry. You didn’t come here for this. Decent chance I’ll delete it all before this goes live. I’ll get to the prospects in a minute. It’s just, Grey tweeted something funny about something ridiculous that Olney tweeted, and that made me think about how smart Bud Selig was to turn the other way during the steroid era. Maybe that’s the wrong way to say it: using “smart” in juxtaposing understandable behavior to what we’re seeing from Manfred on a daily basis, but maybe it’s the perfect word. Perhaps only an idiot would freak this much the fuck out about what’s happening in the media-reaction sphere and jeopardize the game itself–not to mention the health of everyone playing–but perhaps it’s gotten harder to ignore the angry clammor from people in search of something to angrily clammor against. And now that describes me. I wasn’t looking for the clamor, I guess, but here I am, stunted by that wild strain of galaxy brain irritation with everything that powers so much of our world. 

Fuckin Manfred.

Let’s talk prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

As of 1:05 today, my kids are officially finished school for the summer. That means two things for me. Number one, I’m now the proud father of 1st Graders. Number two, I have no idea how I’m going to get any work done at home with these gremlins running around all day. Seriously, two and a half months with these monsters destroying the house is going to be a nightmare. Know what else is a nightmare? This list this week. We have Max Muncy hitting the IL, while Kris Bryant and Cody Bellinger are currently DTD. Bryant was hit by a pitch on the hand yesterday and we’re awaiting news on his status. Bellinger is nursing a hamstring injury and that has me pretty worried. The Dodgers’ slugger has dealt with injuries all year and this is not a step in the right direction. Let’s take a look at the list and then we’ll talk about some of the highlights or lowlights from the last two weeks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Jacob deGrom has earned his way into plug-and-play territory for DFS. A feat that blows my mind really, but I am not playing him tonight. Mainly this is due to a complete and udder mistrust of the Mets training staff. I know he says he’s fine and played catch on Sunday but I have seen this play out too many times. I hope I am dead wrong but I can survive one slate without him.

 

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Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Reading from the Book of Revelations in the 2021 Razzball Draft Guide, “When the ocean’s water rises–”
Job, “Why ocean’s water? Isn’t just ‘water rises’ enough?”
“I’m reading, not writing, and, when I’m done, I will smite you so hard you’ll wish you never corrected God about His word.”
Job stops chewing gum for a moment to say, “Heard.”
Continuing, “…When the ocean’s water rises in Miami, there will be two guys able to walk to work, Jesus Aguilar and Jesus Sanchez.”

There’s been a few hitters flat-out raking in the minors, and Jesus Sanchez is one of the top ones. In 33 games in Triple-A, he hit nine homers and .349. He’s not just a power hitter, though he is that with 70-grade power, he’s begun to hit for contact this year. Going into this year, as Prospect Itch said, “Sanchez swings at everything and always has. A corner outfielder with ideal size and crazy bat speed from the left side, he’ll get a lot of chances and have a long time to figure out pitch selection. More chances than Grey if I ever bumped into him.” What the heck, man? Pitch selection can come at any time, and Sanchez only just turned 23. He might’ve found his swing, and when to, uh, swing. Grab him in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

As usual, this weekend in fantasy baseball brought a lot of ups, a lot of downs, and a little of everything in between.  Overall, though, it definitively proved one thing:  that Hector Neris and Rafael Montero have teamed up in an attempt to slowly but surely destroy my soul.  Sometimes this hobby of ours makes me want to run screaming for the hills – or at least unplug, abandon my teams, and enjoy this summer in my city in a way I haven’t been able to do in over a year.  Since I made a commitment to not only myself but the rare yet valuable Razzball reader who finds himself, as I do, trying to stay afloat in an ultra deep league or two, I decided to compromise. I spent the day sitting on the beach in Santa Monica yesterday (where I came up with this super witty lede), will be hitting Little Tokyo for some udon later, but in between, I’m putting my nose to the grindstone to try to find us someone out there that may be able to help our NL-only, AL-only, and other deep league teams.  (Spoiler alert:  the pickings, as they were last week, are a bit slim… here’s to hoping you aren’t spending as much of your time desperately chasing saves, speed, innings, or power in your deep leagues as I am).

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Another week and so much to talk about, starting with our greatest 2021 re-draft regrets at the halfway point. There’s many, and we air them out, because we are nothing if not an open book. We then dive into the Vladimir Guerrero Jr. coming of age story. Is Matt Olson a sell or hold? Carlos Rodon, is this for real? We then dive into a ton of “low-energy” waiver wire adds. It’s another week of the Razzball podcast!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I hope everyone had a wonderful tenth week of fun in the Razzball Commenter Leagues.  It was at this point last season that we were all done with the RCLs and fantasy baseball.  I still can’t believe we played a 60 game season, stopping at this point in this season would just feel silly.  Some of my teams are just finally getting their shizz together.  Is it from this point forward we start seeing even more injuries than we already have?  Do even more pitcher’s arms start falling off?  As someone who recently traded for Jacob deGrom in one RCL and drafted Max Scherzer in another, I was holding my breathe this weekend.  Don’t worry though, the Mets say deGrom is fine for his next start after playing some catch.  If that doesn’t make you rest easy, I don’t know what will.  This, combined with the MLB attack on Spider Tack and we could be in for some major offense this summer!  I know my RCL teams that are currently batting under .250 will approve.  Let’s take a look at how offense and pitching alike faired this week and the rest of the week that was, week 10:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

On the surface, the pitching side of this slate looks pretty trashy. But once you dive a little deeper you’ll find… Ewwwwww! Gross! Yu Darvish is the only legit ace on tonight’s slate and he’s in Coors. On such a massive 15 game slate you’d expect to have at least a handful of solid places to turn for pitching. Tonight, however, that’s not quite the case. Trevor Rogers ($10,000) is the most expensive pitcher and should be a semi-solid option tonight in St. Louis. 

 

On such a large slate with a lack of solid pitching options, I expect offense will be potent tonight. Vegas thinks so as well judging by the fact that only 2 of the 30 teams (Marlins and Cardinals) have an implied run total under 4. Last night, we saw no real stacks that paid off as offense was down across the land. Tonight, I expect some teams to go off and the key is going to be getting some leverage by plugging in the correct lower owned stacks and pairing them with the right guy(s) on the mound. I guess that’s the goal every night, but, ya know. 

 

The way to go yesterday was to fade the highly owned Padres vs Austin Gomber. Tonight, that’s going to be very hard to do. The Padres have a 6.9 implied run total (my lord) and face Chi Chi Gonzalez on a mid 90 degree day in Coors Field. So make sure if you’re going the Padres route you differentiate as much as possible in your other 5 or 6 lineup spots. 

 

Good luck tonight, and remember to stay positive and visualize that bank roll spiking like Bitcoin in April. Visualize your success! You HAVE to believe it to be true before it can happen. Go with your gut and do it with confidence. Let’s go! 

 

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Shane Bieber is headed to the IL with a shoulder strain. Turns out his shoulder was being held in its socket with Spider Tack. Shane Bieber being touched up by the Mariners now makes more sense. Still not great to hear. I’m sure his owners would take a bad outing vs. an unknown-length-of-time IL stint. These injuries rarely just fix themselves, and most times they’re never themselves, until an offseason rest sesh. By the way, is anyone ever says “sesh” in any context in real life, you’re allowed to punch them. Those are the rules. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?