I always had issues with the expression, “Stay in your lane.” What if someone is driving in the fast lane and going super slow? Should they stay in their lane? NO! As bizarro Beyonce would sing, “To the right, to the right.” That said, the expression has tons of merit. If driving slow, stay in the right lanes and let others pass on the left. If you see three of four lanes littered with trucks, staying in the one without them would be most prudent. Which brings me to Lane Thomas of the Washington Nationals. He’s been added in 11.4% of ESPN leagues over the past week and, since joining the Nationals, has a .293/.383/.515 slash with a .222 ISO in 115 plate appearances. Should we continue to stay in this Lane?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The expression “cup of coffee” entered the sports vernacular when a minor league player would only be in the majors long enough to drink a cup before getting sent down. What if someone nurses their coffee for a long, long time? What size is the cup? Why can’t Starbucks just say small, medium, and large? Is it really necessary to go with Demi, Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Trenta? F Starbucks. Anyways, I could get into some nasty South Park ideas but I don’t want to get fired so I’ll leave it in imagination land. Fine, organizations are ruthless and toothless so they don’t care about any of that. When they feel it’s time for someone to get booted, they will do it without remorse. But if a player produces, the barista will continue topping off that cup. In today’s Bear or Bull, we will discuss a cup of Connor Joe who has produced an impressive line in 196 plate appearances this season: .280/.367/.470 with a .190 ISO, 11.2% walk rate, and 19.9% strikeout rate. He has eight home runs, 21 runs, and 34 RBI. As a result, he’s been added in 7% of ESPN leagues and is rostered on 22.2% of teams. In NFBC leagues, he’s rostered on 98% of teams. Will this cup of Joe continue getting refilled?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lewis Brinson has tantalized and terrorized us since he was selected in the first round of the 2012 MLB draft. The defensive potential in centerfield was always viewed as a plus while the hit tool was questionable at best. It was the potential power ceiling that made us go goo goo ga ga. Every time we bought in, though, Fantasy Eddie shuffled to the back of the car and put the banana in the tailpipe. Left for dead many of years on the fantasy streets, Brinson has resurrected and been added in 40% of ESPN leagues. Are we going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe? Or is Fantasy Eddie nowhere to be found?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My better half created a truly local Farmer’s Market in our backyard. Avocados. Strawberries. Green peas. Cucumbers. Those are just to name a few. At first, the harvest was middling as both the quantity and size were underwhelming. Need more light, she said. More fertilizer. More water. Maybe the plants are what they are, I said. Well, as you can imagine, no sexy time for quite some time after that. So, I did what any normal sex-starved man would do. I went out and “fertilized” the plants with my internal bodily fluids. And what do you know? Happy wife, happy life! Kyle Farmer of the Cincinnati Reds has been added in 33.4% of ESPN leagues over the last seven days as a result of three home runs and 25 hits in 62 plate appearances since the All-Star game. Is this harvest legit or has it been due to outside factors?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I went glamping last week with a few families from my son’s school. Yes, your Son is the son of a Son and has a son himself. We decided to split up meal duty so my wife decided to make a shrimp boil. Whatever the opposite of Top Chef is, that is me so bear with my forthcoming description. Boil water. Sprinkle in the seasoning with some leaves of some kind. Insert corn, potatoes, lemon, and sausages. Let it marinate and percolate then toss in the shrimp at the end. Open the lid, free the steam, then chow down. Mmm, mmm, mmmm. Delicioso. Luis Urias is a “shrimp” at 5′ 9″ and 186 pounds but he’s been all meat, potatoes, corn, lemon, and whatever else you want to throw in this season. In 346 plate appearances, he has 13 home runs, 47 runs, 45 RBI, and five stolen bases. He’s been added in 13.8% of ESPN leagues. Will the pot continue to produce a heavenly mixture or will there just be shrimp left?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh my my my. I’m felling high. My voice is gone but I’m not alone. Too much “he ain’t real”. The world keeps turnin’. Oh what a day. What a day. What a day. Hits and homers manifest. With every passing game. If my belief were my wealth. Then I would be filthy rich. If I were made in his image. Then I’d be one sexy dude. Most analysts do not believe. Cuz they fear regression coming. Oh on and on and on and on. The hits keep coming like the morning dew. Whew on and on and on and on. All night until the break of dawn. I go on and on and on and on. The hits keep coming like the morning dew. Ooo on and on and on and on. God damn it. Imma sing his song.

I usually don’t like to write up a player more than once in a season but sometimes the universe demands it. Back on April 15th, I wrote up Akil Baddoo because he had produced three home runs, nine RBI, and one stolen base in 21 plate appearances. I thought that pitchers were going to find weaknesses and exploit it, especially since the plate discipline numbers weren’t great.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“I *am*…in a world….of shit”

These were the famous words uttered by Austin Gomber when he was given the news about the trade to the Colorado Rockies. Then the words were uttered again when he set foot in Coors Field. He had spent his entire professional career in the friendly confines of Busch Stadium with an organization that valued pitching. Now he was being sent to the Siberia of MLB, a place where, in the infamous words of Drago, “If he dies, he dies.” Gomber is coming off a gem in Colorado and has been added in 19.8% of ESPN leagues. Is this Gomber a Pyle or should we promote him with distinction?

Gomber is 27 years old, 6′ 5″, 220 pounds, and throws from the left side. The Cardinals selected him in the fourth round of the 2014 MLB Draft.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you paddle out into the ocean to kayak or surf, there’s a chance you could encounter a shark. Will the shark attack you every time? If it’s hungry or feels threatened, then you will get attacked. Some will view that as a shark just being a shark while others will want to kill the shark for being a threat despite the fact that something is infringing upon its domain. If a shark walked on its fins into someone’s home, then an argument can be made. The same thing happens in fantasy baseball. A player’s stats can fluctuate for a variety of reasons, which causes the perception of said player to change, but more often than not, a player is who he is. Avisail Garcia of the Milwaukee Brewers has been added in 16.6% of ESPN leagues over the last week to take his roster percentage to 56.3%. Who is Garcia?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was famished. I had just written 10,000 words on why this column is named Bear or Bull. The joints in my fingers were popping due to the self-induced arthritis. I was staring at the computer monitor so long that my glasses absorbed so much light that oncoming drivers became disoriented as I screwed with their depth perception while walking on the sidewalk. As I opened the door to my local Mexican restaurant, the intoxicating smell transformed me into Pepe Le Pew as I floated to the front counter. Wolfing the tacos down, I thought to myself, “This is heaven. I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in my life before,” even though I had been there last Friday, and the Friday before, and the Friday before that, and every Friday for the past two years. Sometimes, things just hit the spot better or worse, depending on a confluence of factors. The same thing goes for fantasy baseball. Dylan Bundy was great in 65.2 innings last season during his first season with the Angels. This year? Not so good. He’s the 629th player on the Razzball Player Rater and has been dropped in 16.7% of ESPN leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s a story as old as time itself. Boy sees prospect. Boy sees prospect’s father is a Hall of Famer. Prospect double-doubles in the minors. Boy falls in love. Boy wants to get married. Prospect, who has grown into a major leaguer breaks boys heart. Boy’s life is now in disarray. Cavan Biggio of the Toronto Blue Jays has had a rough start to the season, causing much distress in the fantasy streets. Is it time to move on or ’till death do us part?

Biggio was selected in the fifth round of the 2016 MLB draft by the Toronto Blue Jays.

He didn’t exhibit any power in his first year but the walk and strikeout rates were very good. In his second season, he went 11/11 in 556 plate appearances. The strikeout rate ticked up to 25.2% and the walk rate was 13.3%, but the batting average was a meh .233. When he went up to Double-A in 2018, the strikeout rate ticked up to 26.3% but so did the ISO to .247. He went 26/20 in 563 plate appearances and wedding bells were ringing all across the land.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I got a text from Grey the other day. He said to meet him in Hollywood because someone offered him a lifetime supply of boba. He was skeptical of course but that .00001% chance intrigued him. I get it. It’s why I always reply to that Prince in Nigeria. Anyways, as we sat down to meet our mystery man, someone lept from behind the conveniently sized and positioned plant and tried to rub Grey’s mustache. When angered, Bruce Banner morphs into the Hulk. In a similar vein, Grey turned into seven-foot anime Grey and went POW! BLAP! SOK! BIF! BAM! like in the 60s Batman shows. The power. The ferocity. I was flabbergasted like the first time I discovered pubic hair. A similar display of power has been experienced by fans of the Cleveland Indians recently. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. Jordan Luplow has six dingers on the season and has been added in 18% of ESPN leagues. Is there anything here?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh my my my. I’m felling high. My voice is gone but I’m not alone. Too much “he ain’t real”. The world keeps turnin’. Oh what a day. What a day. What a day. Hits and homers manifest. With every passing game. If my belief were my wealth. Then I would be filthy rich. If I were made in his image. Then I’d be one sexy dude. Most analysts do not believe. Cuz they fear regression coming. Oh on and on and on and on. The hits keep coming like the morning dew. Whew on and on and on and on. All night until the break of dawn. I go on and on and on and on. The hits keep coming like the morning dew. Ooo on and on and on and on. God damn it. Imma sing his song.

Akil Baddoo has taken the league by storm in the early going. He’s racked up three home runs, nine RBI, and one stolen base in 21 plate appearances. There are plenty of reasons to be skeptical in terms of his staying power so should we automatically dismiss him? Or is there something here and will this Baddoo go on and on like Badu?

Baddoo is 22 years old, 6′ 1″, 210 pounds, and bats from the left side. He was drafted out of high school by the Twins in the 2016 MLB Draft. His first two seasons were spent in Rookie ball, where he improved the strikeout rate, ISO, and slash at each stop. The K% went from 28.1% to 15% then to 12.1%. The ISO went from .093 to .173 to .222. The average went from .178 to .267 to .357. Remember, that he was coming straight from high school so he was a 17-year-old kid that first year. The improvement trends are encouraging.

Please, blog, may I have some more?