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I bought a new house about a year ago. It was a fixer and needed tons of work. We hired a guy to do the big stuff while the wifey and I DIY’d/Mickey Mouse’d the rest. While we became proficient after many reps, yelling and sweating, the difference in skill between us and the hired gun was Grand Canyon-esque. As it should be. Now, my wife’s dad worked in construction for decades, and he flew out to lend a hand. I took some video of his skill:

A true professional he is. And vastly underrated. As is Kerry Carpenter of the Detroit Tigers. If you need power, this Carpenter can help you build upon the foundation that you’ve manufactured up to date.

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Hollywood has always loved the story of the ugly duckling blossoming into a swam – Mean Girls, The Princess Diaries, Miss Congeniality, Clueless and She’s All That. And why not, because we are all suckers for it. Personally, I like to think that I’ve grown into something suave over the years. *Looks around* Sees that I’m writing fantasy nerd stuff from my mom’s basement. *Sobs* Yes, I’m the sucker. For fantasy sports, we all know who the sexy mofos are. Every once in a while, though, a player gets hot, makes a change to the approach, and becomes very enticing. I remember this girl in high school, who wasn’t anything special, but then I saw her wearing a dress and all done up, and she looked mighty fine. It was that girl who I thought of when I dug into J.P. Crawford of the Seattle Mariners. Is Crawford actually hot or is it just the makeup?  Let’s dig in. 

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Razzball is Grey and Grey is Razzball. We all come for the puns because, well, they are tons of fun. And Grey is the freaking master. The mixture of the cackle and mustache is like combining apple cider vinegar with honey. The daily boba intake is quite impressive. So much so that I’m thinking of opening a boba stand right in front of his house. Grey ain’t one of those posers who is all show and no go. There’s real shit under the hood. SAGNOF. Enough said. He definitely has a type as well, and I’m not talking about his Asian fetish. I think the below song should be the new Razzball theme:

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A talisman is an object thought to have magical powers, that bring good luck, and provide strength, comfort, and meaning to those who wear them. Last season, the Chicago Cubs finished 74-88, 19 games out of first place in the NL Central. So far this season, they are 58-55, only 2.5 games out of first place. Mike Tauchman was in Korea last season. Now he’s batting leadoff for Chicago, and his play has kept Seiya Suzuki out of the lineup the last few days. I don’t believe in coincidences! I kid, as there are many factors as to why the Cubs are much improved this season, but Tauchman has been a stabilizing force at the top of the lineup for a Cubs team that is fifth in runs scored and eighth in OPS. Let’s dig in.

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The more I live life, the more I begin to see and understand the dualistic nature of the universe. If there was no gravity, the Drop of Doom at Six Flags would just be a hair folicle on the Earth’s surface. Any kind of market would be unable to function without two divergent thoughts, resulting in a buyer and a seller. A buyer cannot buy without anyone willing to sell. Nothing goes straight up. Conversely, nothing goes straight down. There are ebbs and flows to most things in life. Which seamlessly brings me to Lourdes Gurriel Jr. of the Arizona Diamondbacks. His season up to date has been a tale of two halves within a half of a season. He was amazing for the first two months but has been the exact opposite the last two months. Can this Lourdes be our savior come money time?

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We all know and love Willy Wonka, the fictional owner of a candy factory who provided the world with delectable sweets and gave five children the opportunity of a lifetime. I’m not sure everyone knows Milli Vanilli, though, but they should, as the group has become synonymous with one-hit wonders. Which brings me to Willi Castro of the Minnesota Twins. He has provided plenty of sweets for fantasy managers this season (5 home runs and 25 stolen bases) but had never eclipsed the double-digit steal barrier in any prior MLB season. Let’s dig in.

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Rudy Gamble. Part man, part bot, but all legend. He is the being behind the curtain of the projections for Razzball baseball. It may or may not be in a basement. That’s top secret. He is the creator of the War Room, which I have become a devout follower of. There are multiple tools on the Razzball site to help dominate leagues, with my favorite being the Weekly Pitcher Planner. Everything just makes my life easier navigating the fantasy baseball season. I have had the honor and privilege of splitting teams with Rudy over the last two seasons. The puns and GIF exchanges have been the best but I’ve really garnered an appreciation for his process and methodology. He is my EF Hutton. When he talks, I listen. Granted, sometimes I wonder if it’s human Rudy or bot Rudy, but it really doesn’t matter at the end of the day. They are one and the same. So, a few weeks ago, we were talking over things and he mentioned Tarik Skubal. He said that the bot loved him ROS and that everyone should scoop him up. Was this a cry for help? Had SkyNet fully taken control? They are one and the same. Remember?

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When I was younger, I’d lie a lot, both to myself and others. Before you cancel me, these weren’t malicious and devious lies. They were lies born from either being high or embarrassed. I was swimming in the pool at my parent’s friends house. “Did you pee in the pool?” “Wasn’t me,” I replied, as the long green stream flowed from between my legs. When I got something wrong, I’d fight to the death because of my fragile ego. Or was it my Asian upbringing of anything less than an A being a disgrace to the family name? I kid I kid. My parents were super cool. Sure, they expected a lot from me, and got on me when I was lazy, but I was fortunate to not have Tiger Parents. Anyways, after many years, I became somewhat enlightened. The truth shall set you free. It’s okay to be wrong, for that is how we learn and grow. It’s okay to tell the truth, even though it may hurt or be embarrassing. Situations are resolved and respect is gained faster, and ultimately so is arriving at the truth. Earlier this season, I wrote a piece on Christopher Morel. But new data has been presented which has made me reassess the situation.

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