As we learned more than 10 years ago, Chicks Dig the Long Ball. So it only makes sense that those old curmudgeons on Park Ave decided to “Capri Sun the baseballs”, as Grey so eloquently wrote. But Son? If chicks dig the long ball and old curmudgeons do not actually hit dingers, then how does that benefit them? Well, home runs bring excitement, which fosters viewership, which enhances advertisting revenue, which boosts pay of old curmudgeon, which some chicks dig. Ya dig? Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Anyways, it’s gotten so ridiculous that Tommy La Stella (5′ 11″ 180lbs), Eduardo Escobar (5′ 10″ 185lbs), and Derek Dietrich (6′ 0″ 205lbs) are among the leaders in long balls this season. On the flip side, there’s Daniel Vogelbach, all 6′ 0″ 250 pounds of not-so-lean, mean, hitting dingers machine, who has clubbed 14 homers so far this season. Is it sustainable?

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I rarely go to Starbucks. I’m good with my Jose’s Vanilla Nut from Costco thank you very much, but when I do enter one, I turn into a complete psycho. I blame the siren on the logo that must be whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Hi, Shelley. Yes, I’d like the largest sized mocha frappaccino with oreo cookie crumbles and a blueberry scone. I don’t care how much it costs and how many calories they are. Also, that article I read the other day about how the pastries are not fresh? I. Don’t. Care. One must indulge from time to time and that costs money. Yes, I could run next door to the supermarket and get a six-pack of scones for the same price, but who has time for that. Plus, the sirens. Anyways, as many of us need our caffeine and pastry fixes in real life, the same goes for power in the fantasy world. Well, C. J. Cron of the Minnesota Twins has plenty of power and the cost to acquire could be relatively cheap, as he’s owned in less than 50% of ESPN leagues. Let’s see if he’s trash or treasure.

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I used to love watching Scooby Doo when I was a kid. That love was taken to another level when I discovered trees and magic mushrooms. Man, if I wasn’t married with two kids, I would have moved to Colorado yesterday. Anyways, when something bad was about to happen on the show, Scooby Doo would go “Ruh Roh”.  Well, when I dug into the numbers for Ronny Rodriguez of the Detroit Tigers, who was one of the hottest hitters over the past week, the Ruh Roh-ing of Scooby Doo kept echoing in my head. Should we be worried?

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Emotion is both a blessing and a curse. Without it, one would not be able to experience the full gamut of what life has to offer. Because of it, though, drives many of us to do questionable things. For example, look how many manage their investment portfolios: sell the winners and hold onto the losers, for the fear of losing gains and hoping losses turn into winners. That’s completely backwards. The same principles apply to the fantasy baseball universe, with one fundamental difference. Variance. When Amazan hits a homerun on quarterly earnings, it’s a no doubter. If Mike Trout hits a ball that’s headed for the stands, there’s a chance it goes foul….or a fielder robs him….or a gust of wind knocks the speed and trajectory of the ball down. Things happen within a small sample size which are not necessarily indicative of past, present, or future results. With that said, when people throw in the towel and capitulate, that could be the sign of a bottom. Over the past week, Kolten Wong has been dropped in 12.9% of ESPN leagues, to bring his ownership to 51.6%. Is now the time to be open to Kolten?

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I’m a Chevy Chase guy. The National Lampoon movies, Caddyshack, and Spies Like Us were some of my favorites. I also enjoyed Fletch, in which he portrayed Irvwin Fletcher, a newspaper reporter who utilized a bevy of disguises. Would I shell out $13 for a movie ticket + $10 for popcorn + $5 for a drink + $5 for Red Vines if it was showing in the theaters now? Negative. It’s a B movie from the 1980’s, but if my desktop abacus is not failing me, the money I save from not going to the theater could allow me to purchase some mental PEDs, which would make it an A +++ movie. Regardless, the movie did well enough at the time of its release that the powers in Hollywood spent money on making a sequel, Fletch Lives. As with most sequels, it wasn’t as good as the first, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Which brings me to David Fletcher of the Anaheim (definitely not in Los Angeles) Angels, who is the sequel to another David of Angels past. Will this sequel fail to live up as well?

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According to the BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics), clerical workers comprise around 15% of the work force, the highest of any group. Yet, they are often the faceless members of society. Get your mind out of the Game of Thrones gutter. The pay is low and the recognition is light, but they provide value and are an important aspect of society. Since you are a loyal Razzball reader, you know that Saves Ain’t Got No Face, as the position is so volatile and the closer carousel keeps going round and round with players shuffling on and off, that one does not need to get emotionally attached and splurge on a ring for saves. With that said, saves still constitue one category and are important. Well, Jose Leclerc was one of the most dropped players in ESPN leagues over the past week (decrease of 13.9%), as he was stripped of his closing responsibilities for now, so let’s give this Leclerc some attention and see if he deserves some love.

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I go to a particular diner at least a handful of times a month, as they make the most unbelievable corn beef hash. If I want to try anything else on the menu, it’s only if I have room for more. The only way I wouldn’t order the corn beef hash is if it’s not available for whatever reason. That stubborness is applicable to my fantasy baseball mentality as well. There are certain guys that I’m loyal to, and would only replace if an injury or demotion took place. Well, for some reason, I always love the stench of Rougned Odor, and fortunately/unfortunately, he succumbed to injury on April 10th, which forced me pick up Danny Santana (owned in 21.5% of leagues, an increase of 18.7%). Since the Rangers called him up from Triple-A, all he’s done is slash .339/.355/.542 with 2 home runs and 5 stolen bases. Oh Danny Boy! Is it sustainable?

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Bologna gets a bad rap. Is it because of it’s association to baloney? Or maybe blame should be given to it’s American counterpart, the hot dog, which, because of it’s processed meat nature, is linked to type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and high mortality. I sat in the all-you-can-eat pavilion at Dodgers Stadium and put down over 10 Dodger Dogs, and I’m still ticking. Doctor: Your blood pressure is abnormally high for a man of your age. Can you think of any reason why? Me: Nope, I eat an apple a day, so I’m still trying to figure out why I’m in your office. Hot dogs can’t be that bad, right? Dodgers Stadium sells them for $6.75 a pop and they sell around 2 million every year. Fine, they aren’t great for you, but they aren’t the worst. In fact, they provide some utility and have value. Just like Kevin Kiermaier, who was dropped in 8.4% of ESPN leagues the past week to bring his ownership down to 26.8%. Trash or treasure?

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James Holzhuauer is running roughshod over the competition on Jeopardy! these days. So much so that I’ve entered the notion that he’s from the future, but there are tangible reasons for his success. He knows his trivia, as he’s appeared on two other television game shows in the past and performed very well. Hmm, he could […]

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When acquiring players via FAAB, the mental mind f’ing is both exhilirating and annoying at the same time. Is that bid enough? I really want this player, but everyone is talking and writing about him, so the price will be high. I should probably go up a few dollars. Hmmm, maybe that’s not enough. 10? 20? Let’s see who else is likely to bid on him. Yeah, probably have to go up 50. But what if that’s too much? I could maybe get him for cheaper. Yeah, I’ll take it back down. Click. Click. Looks at bid. Click click down. I don’t want to end on a whole number though. Click. Click. I always end on 3 or 7. Click. Click. Oh, F it. Click Click Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick up. YOLO! This happens for in-demand players who are hot or have massive potential. Ryon Healy, on the other hand, is not hot and doesn’t have game-winning potential. In fact, he’s been dropped in 10.2% of ESPN leagues, to bring his ownership down to 52.2%. He’s been so bad that ESPN doesn’t even bother fixing the discrepancy in batting average on his player page and team starting lineup page. “Don’t sweat it, Tim. No need to fix. Who is going to be searching for Ryon Healy anyways?” Healy was smoking hot to start the season, as he hit two home runs in Japan and opened on a six-game hitting streak. Once the calendar flipped to April, outside of two games, it’s been a barren wasteland. Are we Healy done with Ryon?

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