by: Son
On October 26, 2001, Tyler Chase Dollander was born. “Tyler is so cute!” said family, friends, and admirers. As baby Tyler morphed from blob to actual human, the words became, “Tyler! Get down from there,” or “Tyler, turn off the PlayStation and eat!” Tyler this. Tyler that. Then Tyler started playing Little League and eventually […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
Change is not always good. I used to be a Bruce Lee-esque 185 pounds. Now? I’m a 250-pound, all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ grade of meat. But when in a state of despair, change is vital, even if it does not produce the best outcome. At least you give the universe a chance to work its magic, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Respect has always been an interesting concept for me. As a Korean American, I was brought up to always respect my elders and people in positions of authority. In high school, though, I would see older kids punking the younger ones under the guise of the “system.” That’s when it all broke down for me, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
Normally, I try and emulate Grey with a funny, witty, 2nd-level intro, but all that results is an intro. That is why Grey is the GOAT. Luckily, the universe has provided everything for me this week. Jam On It was, is, and will forever be The Jam. And that is how Mauricio Dubon fans must […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
When I decided to write up Joey Wiemer of the Washington Nationals, I was both excited and fearful. For starters, we know what happened right after the Wiemar Republic, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist writing jokes about Germany, Hitler, and Nazis. So I was pleasantly surprised when Joey Wiemer is from […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
There have been countless movie series that have been milked to the bone, but more often than not, the original remains supreme. Off the top of the dome, though, The Godfather and Toy Story were two that were able to go to infinity and beyond. For Halloween, the OG will forever remain the pinnacle, and that was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
Few things in this simulation are linear – lasers, time, SAT answers, and the display of an EKG machine at death. But time isn’t truly linear due to Daylight Savings, although time is a man-made construct. Aiya. My head hurts. In baseball, from 1990 to 2004, Barry Bonds is likely the closest thing we fantasy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
2021. Joe Biden was smiling and giving two thumbs up. Bad Bunny was dancing as if no one was watching. Jensen Huang was rubbing hands together Miyagi style. But not for reasons you think. Sure, Biden became the 46th President of the United States that year, Bad Bunny won a Grammy, and Huang was on […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
On a clear April afternoon, two F-22 Raptors were seen corkscrewing in a DNA formation above Beale Air Force Base, which is approximately 56 miles from Sutter Health Park. After the exquisite aerial ballet, the ground absorbed the 44,000-pound aircraft while the wheels vaped smoke from the friction of the instantaneous acceleration. The canopies opened. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
St. Louis was known as the “Gateway to the West” in the expansionist days of the good ole US of A. Now, St. Louis will be harboring a baseball team that will mimic an expansion team, as management decided to embrace the rebuild this offseason, trading away Sonny Gray, Willson Contreras, Brendan Donovan, and Nolan […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Son
Legend has it that years ago, a Christian Walker roamed the lands north of the Wall of Agua Prieta. Unlike his ice brethren north of Westeros, this Walker was straight fire, depositing baseballs into the atmosphere, turning them into hail before returning to the Earth as tiny comets with fire tails, landing amongst the congregation […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Last week, Laura Holt said “there could be a little deep-league intrigue here” regarding Jeremiah Jackson. And Laura is THE deep league queen. Then our Great Leader Grey wrote up Jackson in both the Monday and Tuesday recaps. “There’s no hotter schmotato right now in all of baseball. You need to get in on the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?