How’s everyone doing two weeks into a quarantine? I posed for an hour trying to take the perfect picture of myself for this tweet:

Can you think of a better use of time? Whee! I just literally yelled, “Whee!” and did a little dance, then washed my hands. I’m batshizz crazy and I work from home. This quarantine made me realize my only real hobbies outside of baseball are going out to eat and spending money. I’m not just on day 17 of a quarantine; I’m also on day 17 of receiving nothing but dank toilet paper memes from my mom. I guess it’s better than Pizzagate. Whee! I did it again. The Whee Dance, as I’m now calling it. Any hoo! The top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know the fantasy baseball season is delayed. For those that are living under a rock, stay there, especially if you have toilet paper. True story alert! Cougs and I are doing this thing called Shipt, where you get a remote personal shopper to go to the store for you. So, we sent them to the CVS to get me Suave deodorant — Don’t tell me it’s a female deodorant, either. Do you often describe a female as “suave?” I didn’t think so! — soap, hand sanitizer, paper towels, and, of course, toilet paper. The shopper notified us from the store, they had nothing we ordered, but did we want anything else? We were like, “Sure, peanut butter cups.” When the apocalypse came, we ordered someone to get us toiletries and when that failed, we got candies. Books will be written about the fall of the United States, and there will be a chapter on how we all just shrugged when we got dem candies placed on our doorstep. And, yes, I am now wiping with tiny gold aluminum foil. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. This is using the top 20 catchers for 2020 fantasy baseball as our guide. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 20 catchers for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve recapped all my 2020 fantasy baseball teams because I’m a baller, fantasy and otherwise. Come for me and you will get Mutombo’d, finger-wag and all. Just like The Corona Mutombo’d its finger-wag to Opening Day. You don’t have to go home, Opening Day, but you can’t come here right now because there’s a guy who hasn’t washed his hands. Scrub your dirty sausage fingers, you sicko! Is what I scream out my mail slot every time someone walks past my house. Shame about Opening Day, but it will happen. Jokes aside, MLB is showing all the signs of wanting to get this thing off the ground. They’re talking about paying players a full year of service time. Does that sound like a league that doesn’t want to play? I’m still going on the assumption they’ll get 100 games in, but knowing how much rich people want to stay rich and knowing they’re currently paying people to not play makes me think they will be playing. A lot of games. They might just ram 140 games in something insane, like, a 135-day schedule. Think of the Royals, you really think they’re paying players to not play? They don’t even pay players to play! On a side but related note, it’s funny to hear people now say they’re not playing baseball this year. That is prolly a below 5% chance, but it’s like when people see a player like Jason Kubel have a huge 1st game of the season and think he’s now Mike Trout. You’re overestimating the present situation vs. gauging actual reality. Any hoo! One small note for perspective, I drafted ten leagues (so far, still holding on our RCL league) with three NL-Only leagues and one AL-Only league, and, no, I didn’t also draft Pete Alonso in the AL-Only. Anyway, here’s my top 2020 fantasy baseball player shares:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, usually I have an idea if a team is good, and, if I don’t know that, I have some idea when the season will begin, but welcome to the year 2020 when all is unknown. I’m currently typing this with my hands tied behind my back so I don’t accidentally touch my facet–Face! Damn it, this typing with my nose is more difficult than I thought it would beet–Damn! This is giving ‘hunt and peck’ typing a new definition. More like ‘hen and peck’ amiright? Don’t answer me because you might accidentally transmit saliva into the air. Thanks, and remember, SOCIAL DISTANCING!!!, which is what I scream at Cougs every time she comes within six feet of me. Makes for interesting sleeping as our bed is about six feet in width. So, the RazzSlam is a Best Ball tourney with Points scoring. Everyone likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are the best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, there’s a virus beating you to the punch! Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“It’s day 127 of the quarantine and all pitchers have already had Tommy John surgery. Now our first manager is going under the knife.”

“I was reaching for a toothpick and I heard something pop,” said Dusty Baker.

For those who have resorted to wiping their butts with baseball news for lack of toilet paper, Noah Syndergaard has a torn UCL and is kaput for 16-ish months. If only someone told you to avoid Noah Syndergaard, huh? What’s that, Voice In My Head? I told everyone to avoid Noah Syndergaard? Aw, jeez, I think you’re right. Voice In My Head, can I ever be as smart as you? Voice In My Head, “No. Shut up.” Wow, graciousness has left the chat. In my top 40 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball, I had a tier of guys to avoid, that tier had in it Noah Syndergaard, Luis Severino and Chris Sale. Gosh darn it, fellas, I might be as smart as the Voice In My Head. Can you even imagine it? This Syndergaard news is terrible. Dot dot dot. For all the people who wanted to draft him but got off easy because their drafts were delayed until MLB stops washing its hands of the season. Seriously, the only thing that sucks in all of my absolute genie-ness psychic ability is everyone not getting a chance to draft these pitchers before it’s too late. People tend to hate when people take victory laps over injuries, but I have on my Fitbit and I’m going for a jog! I’ve been saying to avoid Syndergaard for so long (two years), due to funky things going on in his peripherals. Maybe I didn’t know 100% he was injured, but I 100% knew something was wrong with him, and have been saying it. Not sure why people are thinking he tore his UCL just this week. This is the Mets and their doctors. Syndergaard was likely injured for the last two years. Okay, I’m out of shape from too much quarantining, so pulling the victory lap into the depot to freshen up with some hand sanitizer. On a side note, all of these guys going for Tommy John surgery might be signaling something else. No, not that they have no porch that needs repair like you during the Corona timeline. It means we might have more baseball this year than next year. If there’s a lockout to start the 2021 season, and baseball returns in June for the 2nd year in a row, how many starts do these guys miss? Not to answer, but to ruminate until our next full season in 2022. Anyway, here’s what else I saw for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You ever draft, like, twelve teams and have eleven teams that are all very similar and one team that is nothing like the other teams? This, here, is that other team. In theory, this team could be my one good team and the other eleven could be garbage, but I sure hope that’s not the case. I started this draft like every other league this offseason — by taking Pete Alonso in the 2nd round. At that point, this team veered into a different direction to never return. For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, 5×5, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. NFBC has decided to cut off new slow draft leagues like this one, so I don’t think we’re doing another one this year. Sorry, I wanted to do one more league too. I will now put on The Knack and change the words in my head to My Corona. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The BBC announced during the shutdown that when the season returns they will keep airing reruns of Fawlty Davis, delaying Mountcastle for the foreseeable future. The BBC’s head of programming Peter Angelos, noted spendthrift and lover of reality shows, said, “We should air a full season of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here starring Richie Martin trying to unsuccessfully cross the River Ruiz.” Filling their lineup:  Hanser & Renato, a BBC surprise hit, will be returning, and generating some underground enthusiasm is Austin “Martin” Hays, a David Tennant-led vehicle, where he’s a mechanic by day and detective by night, and Dwight Smith Jr. & Jose Iglesias starring in AB Unfab, where they just get gross at-bats. Okay, seriously, what on the earth that is in total lockdown is going on with the Orioles? They announced Ryan Mountcastle was optioned to the minors. THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY MINORS?! There’s no freakin’ baseball, Orioles, you giant nimrods! How can they be so dense? Trey Mancini, which I still pronounce like fettuccini, but hoping he gets healthy, needs some time, I’d imagine. Doesn’t cancer lead to chemo which leads to a lower immune system? That makes me think Mancini won’t be back this year, and I removed him from my top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball, while also moving down Mountcastle. Now all we have to look forward to is the new season of Luther starting Idris Alberto. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this week for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today concludes the fantasy baseball sleepers‘ portion of our program. *nudges homeless woman sleeping on my couch that I tried to get Cougs to agree to a threesome with* No more sleepers, Francine. Meh, I’ll let her rest. Like the outfielders to target, this post is necessary. You need to target the right names at the end of the draft for starters. Last year’s starters to target post included Kenta Maeda, Chris Paddack and Brandon Woodruff. They’ve moved way up ranks this year with one making the jump to my top 20 starters, and, well, can you believe ESPN ranked Paddack 263rd overall last year? Yeah, well, Woodruff was unranked by Yahoo and ESPN. As with other target posts, these guys are being drafted after the top 200 overall. A quick aside portion of the program, as for the coronavirus aka Covid-19 aka “The Disease That Apparently Hates Baseball,” I’m not pretending it’s not going on, but some people still have drafts, and if I liked these guys before the virus started karaoke’ing to Public Enemy’s Shut ‘Em Down, I still like them. There are upcoming RCL drafts, and I plan on doing another NFBC league for s’s and g’s to pass time until the National Pastime returns. Is there more interest from you in another NFBC draft vs. me vs. youse? Let me know in the comments. (Side note within side note:  If NFBC is still doing new leagues, I’m hearing conflicting reports.) Also, all Steamer hitter projections have been updated to 100 games, and all 2020 fantasy baseball rankings have been updated. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We (me) have gone over the  catchers to target1st basemen to target2nd basemen to targetshortstops to target, and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here! Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella! That makes sense…if you don’t think about it! That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.” Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that elicit uber-sexy feelings. Last year, I featured Ramon Laureano, Austin Meadows and Daniel Palka, who could still breakout (I’m kidding; it’s an inside joke with myself). As for the coronavirus aka Covid-19 aka “The Disease That Apparently Hates Baseball,” I’m not pretending it’s not going on, but some people still have drafts, and if I liked these guys before the virus started karaoke’ing to Public Enemy’s Shut ‘Em Down, I still like them. So, I’m getting these “To Target” posts out in case people are still drafting. There are upcoming RCL drafts, and I plan on doing another NFBC league for s’s and g’s to pass time until the National Pastime returns. Is there more interest from you in another NFBC draft vs. me vs. youse? Let me know in the comments. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball. All Steamer hitter projections have been updated to 100 games, and all 2020 fantasy baseball rankings have been updated. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2020 projections.  Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Excuse the exposition and this clunky intro into aforementioned exposition, but here’s the catchers to target1st basemen to target2nd basemen to targetshortstops to target and something to stick to your dartboards to target. These 3rd basemen to target are being drafted after 200 overall.  Keep in mind, nephew (and five niece readers), your Uncle Grey likes to have a corner man drafted by the time these guys appear, so you’re looking at potential utility men more than anything. As for the coronavirus aka Covid-19 aka “The Disease That Apparently Hates Baseball,” I’m not pretending it’s not going on, but some people still have drafts, and if I liked these guys before the virus started karaoke’ing to Public Enemy’s Shut ‘Em Down, I still like them. So, I’m getting these “To Target” posts out in case people are still drafting. There are upcoming RCL drafts, and I plan on doing another NFBC league for s’s and g’s to pass time until the National Pastime returns. Is there more interest from you in another NFBC draft vs. me vs. youse? Let me know in the comments. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.  (All 2020 fantasy baseball rankings have been updated to 100 games played, but I am still going into the positional rankings and moving guys who were injured who now have a better “corona timeline.”) Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2020 projections. Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?