(The following is an abridged Introduction to my (e)book, Who Is Grey Albright? To purchase, click here.  It’s $5.  I will be donating a portion to my growing drinking problem.  After you buy it, I’ll email you the (e)book.)

Introduction

An (e)book sounds like something that should be trying to sell you something.  That’s not my goal.  Well, I mean, it’s not my goal to sell you anything beyond this (e)book.  Though I do know about this great deal on Nigerian lottery tickets.  Not only will I not be selling something, but I imagine if you read this (e)book from pages 1-102, you’ll actually be less inclined to buy something from me.  You might not be interested in anything I say ever again.  Now if you read pages 1-102, but skip pages 19-20, 32-34, 41-43, 54-58, 61-63, 67-73, 88-89 and 93 (depending about how you feel about cocaine and prostitutes) then you might still find me somewhat likable.

I decided if I were going to write this (e)book, I’d leave it all out there like a flasher.  A flasher of regrets and embarrassments.  Psst, kid, wanna see the time I was brought up on sexual harassment charges? What would be the point of writing about myself then holding back on the juicy stuff?  Unfortunately, as I wrote the ‘juicy stuff,’ I realized I was an unlikable character.  To use the parlance from my chosen profession, where’s the save the cat moment?  Shouldn’t I learn something, have some spiritual awakening at the end and work for the Peace Corps?  From where I sit, there’s no tidy arc.  I hope this doesn’t spoil your enjoyment of this (e)book, but I don’t run into a burning building and save a group of Taiwanese orphans that I then coach all the way to the Little League World Series, only to lose in the last round, while learning more from our defeat than we’d ever learn from victory.  In high school, there were no slow claps.  In college, there was no exposing of a larger conspiracy with the help of an inexplicably handsome Paul Walker.  There’s some dream chasing, some failure, some bright spots, some love, some lost, some anger, some regret, some hope, some rambling (like right here).  There’s no feel good closure.

I’m still in the middle of this (e)book.  Will there be a follow up in five years where I get married, have kids and live happily ever after?  Maybe that there could be a happily ever after is the happily ever after.  Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that I’m not married and don’t have kids, did that ruin the (e)book for some people?  Mea culpa, my Latin friends.

Most of the opening chapters are of the lie-on-the-couch-of-a-psychologist-and-stop-telling-me-about-your-problems-I-have-my-own variety.  I suggest you skip those chapters if they’re not your cup of tea.  Though you had to expect some of that sort of thing if you’re reading an (e)book titled, “Who is Grey Albright?”  I don’t want you to feel like I’m putting my own issues above yours, but you are reading my (e)book, I’m not reading yours.

As I wrote this (e)book, a word I kept coming back to me:  narcissist.  What kind of narcissist writes an autobiography?  Do I really think people are that interested in me?  Not really.  What started as a few short stories turned into a cathartic exploration of my past.  Was like writing a journal for past events that I now had the hindsight to either appreciate or regret.  Okay, and maybe I’m a narcissist.  Worst comes to worst, if a girl at a bar asks me about myself, I can just hand them a printed-out copy.

As with most things, the more you’re doing it for yourself, the better off you are.  That is the last bit of actual advice you are going to read from me.  Unless you’re reading the following (e)book from the perspective of a cautionary tale of ‘things not to do.’  Then, I guess, it could be considered helpful.

Finally, when I got sick of writing about myself, I’d write a short piece of fictionalized nonsense.  These are interspersed throughout the (e)book.  They should be pretty obvious.  For instance, if you’re reading an interview I did with a leprechaun and thinking to yourself, he didn’t really interview a leprechaun, go with your gut.

Finally II:  The Return of Finally, “Who is Grey Albright?” is a bit of a misnomer since there is no Grey Albright.  It’s a pseudonym, an alias, a make-believe name of WASPy nomenclature.

Hello, I am Grey Albright, and I approve of those plaid pants.

I never meant to deceive people into thinking my name was Grey Albright.  When I started Razzball, it was something to pass the time until the WGA strike lifted.  I had no intention of taking it much further than that.  By the time the strike lifted, Razzball was bigger than I ever intended and I enjoyed writing it, so I stuck to it.  That Grey Albright has stick-to-it-ive-ness!  The strangest part about having a pen name is how annoying it is when people spell it wrong.  You’d think I wouldn’t care since it’s not my real name.  Now I know how Mark Twain felt when he received fan mail addressed to Marc Twain.

I originally used an alias rather than my real name because I didn’t want potential employers to Google my name and find I was writing about fantasy baseball.  The funny thing, depending on your sense of humor, is my screenwriting name is an alias too.  If I had to do Razzball again, I would’ve just used my real name and told future employers to, borrowing heavily from Courtney Love, fuck off.  Before you judge too harshly, think about how many of you would comment on the site with your first and last name.

So now… Now I kinda like the mystery of my alias.  “Who is Grey Albright?” “Who is Grey Albright?”  Does it matter which word you emphasize?  The essence is me.  I is he.  Even if officially it’s not my name, after writing every day for the last 4 years under the name Grey Albright, you can’t hide yourself.  The words are mine; the name just isn’t.  So if you think “Who is Grey Albright?” is just about me stating my real name, you’re going to be disappointed.  That’ll have to wait for “Who is Grey Albright?  Really?” the sequel.  (Or you can just piece together clues from this (e)book and try Google.)  Enjoy!

–To purchase, click here.

162 Comments
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S250 Million Mercenary
S250 Million Mercenary
10 years ago

Bought it. Thanks for the fantasy advice/face pain from the giggles.

Terrence Mann
Terrence Mann
10 years ago

I damn near donated $115 to pbs so I could meet Kate Pierson at a concert. Somehow, buying an ebook seemed like a better investment.

JasonP
10 years ago

I think I am going to get this. As a fantasy sports fanatic, as well as one doing his best to get into your chosen profession, I will use this as advice/cautionary tale/example of awesome writing.

and1mcgee
and1mcgee
10 years ago

do you still do work as a writer outside of razzball? I am pitching a script next week, so it’s nice to see you are a wga guy. I didn’t pick up on that before. love the site!

IowaCubs
IowaCubs
11 years ago

I had my name legally changed to IowaCubs, then I stopped hanging out in the comments section of Razzball. Now I just feel stupid for getting the IOWACUBS tattoo on my knuckles and a photo of Grey on my right buttcheek.

Jake in Columbus
Jake in Columbus
11 years ago

Hey, nice graphic on the cover! ;)

tourinct
tourinct
11 years ago

A work in progress. I usually only read books on vacation during the summer. Everyone goes to the beach, I sit on the porch, smoke cigars, drink beer or(and) martinis and read 600 paperback pages a day.
But during the work season I get maybe a couple hours… on page 26 before I pack it i tonight. Don’t know what to say, so similar and so different to my youth, but also different and similar in similar and different ways. Ha! More to go.

Caleb
Caleb
11 years ago

Whoa, did you mention you were writing this book before? I said you should write a book on twitter like 2 weeks ago, I had no idea you were already writing one..

Moonlight's Grahams
Moonlight's Grahams
11 years ago

Does this mean if I were to ask for an autographed copy then it would be a forgery?

tourinct
tourinct
11 years ago

Had to buy it. Couldn’t live without knowing. But, my two month + long drafts are done and I need something to do for a couple of days. And, anything to help a drinking problem. Ha!

ChrisV
11 years ago

Is this book anything like Brick Novax’s Diary?

elwood blues
elwood blues
11 years ago

Anyone got the inside scoop on Putz?
I am heading into an NL Only auction this weekend.. and he is one of the three closers available (the others: Lidge and K-Rod — how’s that for a fun bunch!) is he worth the $10 – $15 he’ll go for..
I have Gutierrez on my roster.. I wasn’t planning on protecting him.. but did his value just go up a tick?

Steve
Steve
11 years ago

Ollie Perez cut by the Mets.

Magic 8 Ball sees him signing with the Cards, hooking up with Duncan and coming *THIS* close to winning the Cy Young.

fitz
fitz
11 years ago

In an OBP league would it be wise to target Carlos Pena if all I have to give up is Broxton?

Schmohawks Bob
Schmohawks Bob
11 years ago

@Grey, @Steve:

His Dad was a pretty good L.A. Times sportswriter who covered the Angels beat, my favorite team. Always amused me that a nerd such as Ross Newhan spawned a big league baller.

Nate
Nate
11 years ago

I’m in. It’s the least I can do for the daily reading.

Although, to be honest, the WGA thing is a little too close to Berry for my liking. I guess as long as there are no crappy sequels on your resume…

Mike
Mike
11 years ago

If you wanted to write about fantasy baseball using a “a make-believe name of WASPy nomenclature” you might have called yourself Tristan Cockcroft.

Nah! Too implausible…

Schrute Buck
Schrute Buck
11 years ago

Sounds like Grey is the Tucker Max of fantasy baseball.

motorcitykitty
motorcitykitty
11 years ago

Hey Grey. 16 team H2H points. Corey Hart looks like he isnt going to make the start of the season, so I’m thinking of trading up. 7 P spots and my seventh is Porcello. My bench P are: Duensing, Mclellan, Coke, Nova, Young (Mets), and Fuentes. Going to try to trade Hart and Porcello for Nelson Cruz. Good deal/bad deal? As you can see, pitching is hard to come by in this deep league….is my bench good enough to play matchups without porcello? Not that hes THAT good anyway…..

Paulie Allnuts
Paulie Allnuts
11 years ago

Great stuff. As this is the day for confessions, I need to be square with my Razzball buds. Paulie Allnuts was but a hint of who I am. In my prime, I was known as Vinnie the Butcher, and along with my goombas Balsie and Guido, are well hidden in a safe house somehwere in the southwest. No, my e-mail cannot be traced. The only think left for me in this life is fantasy sports. I know for a fact that the FBI is monitoring this web-site, as my enemies, as they are legion, would give anything to through me to the fishes. Some of these creeps might have gravitated to my RCL league. But that ain’t happening, bro. We all knew that you weren’t Grey Albright, who sounds like the a member of the Duke lacrosse squad that was accused of making crude advances to a professional gal, while extending his pinkie drinking tea.. And Rudy is, of course, a nerd with broken glasses and flood pants; no one who looks as cool as Rudy could ever be a wonk.

birrrdy!
birrrdy!
11 years ago

this book will go great with my “Cust Kayin'” t-shirt from Cafe Press…

nyydj2
nyydj2
11 years ago

I’m taking the Kemp side, putting my gun away and running.

Nomar Mr. Nice Guy
Nomar Mr. Nice Guy
11 years ago

@Grey, but others feel free

In a vacuum (the vacuum happens to be a keeper league) which side of this deal are you taking:

Mccutch / Gallardo / Ian Kennedy for Kemp / Marcum / Chacin

joe from point pleasant
joe from point pleasant
11 years ago

@mic: thanks… looks like its gonna be humber id assume. Fallen prospect getting a shot.

mic
mic
11 years ago

@joe from point pleasant: during the ST game on ESPN yesterday, Ozzie said Sale is going to be the set up man… and there were two other SP’s competing for the 5th spot (forgot who they were, most likely scrubs)…

Mike from Jersey
Mike from Jersey
11 years ago

I’m going to have to set up a pay pal account and find out about the realllll Grey.
If I findd out your stache-less, I expect you to grow one for the duration of the upcoming baseball season.

BryanK
BryanK
11 years ago

Two questions for whoever wants to help:

1. Who is better to have on the roster right now, Farnsworth or McGee?
2. Is it worth holding Fuentes to start the season in hopes that Bailey hits the DL for an extended period?

Thanks for the help!

joe from point pleasant
joe from point pleasant
11 years ago

@Sean, Steve…

Yea, sadly thats me lol. An elbow injury can cause your mechanics to change drastically.. I went from a guy who threw over the top with a 12-6 hook to a 3/4 guy with the nastiest slider you ever saw. It worked well for a year and a half, then my shoulder basically fell apart.

The funniest thing was that my arm only hurt when i threw fastballs. I could throw sliders all day and all night without pain. I guess that’s why i debate the “heavy slider usage leads to arm injury” theory. It is probably true to some extent, but every arm is different.

carlos marmLOL
carlos marmLOL
11 years ago

From the first day reading this site I had a strong suspicion it was an alias and that in all actuality you were Mindy Kaling! KNEW IT!

The Situation
The Situation
11 years ago

@Grey: Is this a good time to poach Marcum from another team if they are worried about his shoulder issues?

PS: How worried should we be about Marcum’s shoulder. Do we have a situation here? No structural damage was found but shoulder injuries are scary- especially with a post-TJS survivor like Marcum. Would you swap out Bumgarner for him if you could?

projectbadass
projectbadass
11 years ago

12-team 5×5 H2H league, 8 keepers

I need help at my CI and the best available option is valencia…who would you drop to pick him up, Clayton Richard or Narveson?

joe from point pleasant
joe from point pleasant
11 years ago

@ Grey:
With Peavy out for the beginning of the regular season, and possibly much more if he has setbacks, who slides into his spot in the rotation?

Chris Sale is available after losing the closer race to Thornton, could the Sox put him into their rotation?

Please let me know who you think gets the rotation spot, and whether or not they will be a viable option. Thanks!

With Peavy out for the beginning of the reg

sean
sean
11 years ago

10-team, 5×5, 6 bench spots, weekly lineups.

Right now, I have four pitchers on my bench (Minor, Zimmermann, E-Jax, and Niese) and two hitters (swiss army knife Omar Infante and Ryan Raburn). Is this distribution of bench spots allowable? I know the PEDS rule is never draft an offensive bench player, but I figured that with six spots and weekly moves, I can’t really move THAT many pitchers in and out of my lineup without giving myself an ulcer.

Commish Cauda
Commish Cauda
11 years ago

12-team mixed, 5×5 league

Drop Beltran for Marlon Byrd, Nate McLouth or Michael Morse?

Wake Up
11 years ago

Didn’t think that Albright sounded right. Probably more like 5 letters, ending in a vowel, with a little sauce-stain in the middle.
In the coming clean trend, half of my posts are made in a half-woken-haze. So it is as a reminder to myself that that moniker lies atop my comments.(Also, I loved the book, haven’t ever read it that I know of, but I loved it)

Simply Fred
WE LOVE YOU
11 years ago

“I will be donating a portion to my growing drinking problem.”

Wow, the lead statement? CLASSIC cry from a dark place.

This would FEEL more loving if we were all together to give you a group hug:

1) Find a friend in similar straights.
2) Go to rehab together (if I lived in LA, I would track you down).
3) Go to an AA meeting.

The world won’t ALWAYS be bright and shining, but…

…away with all those morning afters;
here comes that loving relationship and…KIDS! (oops, you can ignore that part for now)

WE LOVE YOU!

4) Call him NOW.

You asked/are asking for this.

Jeff
Jeff
11 years ago

It looks like Melky Cabrera is going to “win” the job in CF. Cain only has 100 or so AB’s in AAA and options. I’d look for Cain sometime mid summer.

nyydj2
nyydj2
11 years ago

I think “well earned” is a more apt accounting for it.

O'really
11 years ago

never realized that Grey Albright should be your true name….so anything changing with this article? for me dont think so….

nyydj2
nyydj2
11 years ago

Grey, in just the short month since I have discovered this site, it has become as daily a ritual as the morning dump, thank you for rescuing me from the torture of reading the idiocy of guys like BFun and Maas. I am absolutely addicted to your site and writings. As soon as I catch up from paying the dues for my three money leagues, cocktails are coming.

With that said, I am just wondering, is your “coming out”, for lack of a better term, a result of the success you have had here, for example, your rise in stature in the fantasy sports world leading to an invite to LABR and the subsequent pictures of you and Rudy at the draft table that are on the internet?

Carden
Carden
11 years ago

@Grey:
In a keeper league, would you keep Granderson or Morrow? It’s a 7×7 league, where HRs are replaced by TB plus strikeouts and OPS. In the pitching side, standard categories plus walks and holds. I have 3 good OFs and 2 good starting pitchers, but I think that Morrow’s upside is more valuable than a 4th OF. Your opinion? Thanks.

Calogero
Calogero
11 years ago

PS – I always knew you were a Dave Eggers fan

Jake in Columbus
Jake in Columbus
11 years ago

Some good comments on this one, unsurprisingly.
Surprisingly, no one has suggested Grey is an alien.
I happen to believe the photo is the real deal, just dated.

@”Grey”: Is it really daiquiris, or does the book reveal your true drink of choice? FYI, shots of liquid cocaine aren’t any manlier than umbrella drinks. ;)

@Carns:, @Grey: 100% true. Yahoo just updated their O-ranks and a number have taken a Razzballish shift (see Valverde). Some head scratchers too though.

Rob
Rob
11 years ago

Oh..Uribe is bench not IF..sorry for bad format of post.

Rob
Rob
11 years ago

Just completed a snake draft of 12 team h2h league. Had 3 rd first round pick. League had extra categories of OPS and QS.

My picks with comments were

Round Pos Name
1 1B Miggy Yess! My target
2 OF Kemp /* my first target Holliday was gone /*
3 OF Cruz /* not enthralled with my options here /*
4 SP CC /* My plan was to take one starter in rounds
1-10 at a pos where I did not like my picks
and where I felt my targets would fall. That
was true at this position */
5 Util Morneu
6 3B Michael Young
7 SS Jeter /* He was falling and could not resist */
8 OF Chris Young /* My target here */
9 C Soto /* and here */
10 2B Aaron Hill /* and here. Felt lucky to get my three
8-10 targets */
11 SP Daniel Hudson /* Starting remaining starters */
12 SP Ricky Romero
13 SP Kuroda
14 Util Pierre /* last starting bat */
15 RP Lidge /* had planned to punt rp but changed
my mind */
16 SP Ian Kennedy
17 RP Frank Francisco
18 SP Stauffer /* love those hodgepadres */
19 SP Bronson Arroyo
20 SP Clayton Richard /* Figure that most weeks I have
enough numbers in SP to start hodgepadres only
at Petco */
21 SP R.A. Dickey /* somebody scarfed up Minor. Now in
flyer SP */
22 IF Juan Uribe /* because he has 2B, SS, 3B eligible in
Yahoo */
23 RP Rafael Soriano /* will use this slot for either 3rd RP or
starter */
24 SP Brian Duensing /* my debate was one more pitcher or
one more bat. Am second guessing

I am thinking of exchanging a pitcher for another bat to mix and match with Pierre for weeks I am either punting or my opponent has punted steals.

Commish Cauda
Commish Cauda
11 years ago

12-team mixed, 5X5 auction league; salaries go up $5 a year

My five starters:

Tim Lincecum $23
Clay Buchholz $17
Brett Anderson $20
Tommy Hanson $17
Josh Beckett $14

My bench SPs: Mike Minor $10, Slowey $4, Pavano $7, Homer Bailey $6

Drop anyone for the following free agents? No salary consquences now, but they would cost me $15 each for 2012.

Beachy
Derek Lowe
Harang
Zito
Buehrle
Leake
McClellan
Dice-K

Wilsonian
Wilsonian
11 years ago

Who wins this wheel ‘n’ deal:

Rasmus/E.Jackson v. Hamels/pick of Lind, Tabata, Walker, Pena, Snider?

Categories are: H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OBPS, W, L, SV, K, ERA, WHIP, Ks/9

Calogero
Calogero
11 years ago

You dick. I hate you (I love you).

Love,

Every Girl Ever

Exactly
Exactly
11 years ago

@Grey: Sweet, thanks.

Commish Cauda
Commish Cauda
11 years ago

Ooops…I somehow combined two posts. But you get the idea.

Grey is the bee’s knees…

Matthole
Matthole
11 years ago

Grey is Banksy!

Joel
11 years ago

Grey, I have the 8th pick in a 12 round snake draft. i think the guy withthe #1 pick might want to trade. would you do it, trade the 8 slot for the 1? I feel like going 1b-OF, so the question is: would you rather have Pujols-Shin-Soo Choo from the 1 spot, or Braun-Fielder/Tex from the 8 spot? I suppose then I’d have the #25, maybe I could take Reyes with that. so, should I trade?

A Hill O' Beans
A Hill O' Beans
11 years ago

@Grey: I can only assume that Grey Albright is really an anagram from your real name, since most lies are based on some fact. So which is it “Grey”?

Argyle Bright
Lethargy Brig
Barge Rightly

Or perhaps the reason you get so annoyed when people spell it wrong is because your real name is……[cue the dramatic music]…..

Gray Elbright!

Okay, on to my question. Pineda or Cecil as a bench SP?

Other SPs are Hamels/Oswalt/Buchholz/Price/Bumgarner/Chacin if it matters.

mjd
mjd
11 years ago

As one of your loyal fantasy baseballers (Your Mom’s term) – OH DEAR GOD tell me your Mom is REAL !!!! But I digress, as one of your loyal readers I dont care what your real name is keep up the good work.

Chris
Chris
11 years ago

Brilliant! When I started to read it, thought it might have been a biting parody of some of MB’s self-important drivel. But it’s even better than that! Thanks for all the time you put into the site and to responding to the posts & forum items. $15 just for that work alone is cheaper than Asian child-exploitation wages. May all of your upside projections prove to be wildly successful and may Rihanna console herself with you when Matt Kemp brakes her heart (assuming you really DO live in CA…).

RenPasta
RenPasta
11 years ago

Grey (or shall I call you Stache? Is that really you in the picture?) and company,

This is what I came up with in my 12 team league draft last night (6×6 including OPS and K/BB). As you can see, my team is heavily influenced by your suggestions.

C: Russel Martin (258)
1B: Mark Teixeira (18)
2B: Neil Walker (175)***
3B: Mark Reynolds (79)***
SS:
OF: Ryan Braun (7)***
OF: Jay Bruce (55)***
OF: Michael Bourn (186)
UTIL:Kevin Youkilis (31)
UTIL:Adam Dunn (42)
BN: Ryan Raburn (210)***

SP: Cole Hamels (66)
SP: Dan Haren (90)
SP: Chris Carpenter(103)
RP: John Axford (114)
RP: Houston Street (127)
RP: Matt Thornton (138)
P: Craig Kimbrel (151)
P: Brandon Lyon (162)
BN: Ian Kennedy (199)***
BN: Brandon League(223)
BN: Jon Rauch (234)
BN: Brian Fuentes (247)
BN: Mike Minor (271)***

I missed out on Mike Stanton, but since I had Braun and Bruce in the OF, I felt an SP would yield higher value. I will most likely end up dropping either Fuentes or Rauch depending on the closer situation with their respective teams in order to pick up Alcides Escobar for my empty SS spot. I am little light on SP but there are plenty of options in the waivers.

Thoughts?

Thanks in advance

Exactly
Exactly
11 years ago

Hi, Nom De Plume/Grey/Santa Claus, what do you think of my 12-team, H2H points league (I was picking 7th):

p.s. everyone in my league is dumb and goes pitching heavy which is why I have the top guys that I have…I’m a little concerned about my starters and got jobbed on Zimmermann and Minor…how worried should I be about trotting out my starting 5 week to week?

C: Soto
1B: Votto
2B: Raburn
SS: Drew
3B: Wright
MI: Espinosa
CI: Lind
OF: Holliday
OF: Kemp
OF: Justin Upton
OF: Tabata
U: Pena
SP: Oswalt
SP: Marcum
SP: Gio
SP: Volquez
SP: Edwin Jackson
RP: C. Perez
RP: Lidge
RP: Axford
RP: Hanrahan
B: Cecil
B: Madson
B: Niese

Thanks.

Carns
11 years ago

@Eddy: Great link! Had some “Actual LOL’s”

Christopher
Christopher
11 years ago

Shoot! Next you’ll tell us that “Doc” is neither a doctor nor a cowboy…my life is ruined…OK, I’m better now!
So, when do you drop the “Grey Albright” and simply go with a symbol, a la Prince?

AnotherFalstaff
AnotherFalstaff
11 years ago

@Grey – Litsch looking good this spring. Any late round value there? Thanks!

Carns
11 years ago

@Grey: Is there a chapter about how Brad Evans reads your sleepers, waits 2 1/2 – 4 weeks and then drops “knowledge” on the Yahoo community?

@Brett Anderson: I look at your projections from a wide variety of sources and find it hard to believe you don’t more or less destroy them if you can stay healthy. I’ve owned you the past two years and stay up late when you’re on the mound and what do I see with my vast, vast pitching acumen? I see one of the best left-handed pitchers in baseball. That curve is disgusting…

Smokey
11 years ago

Can i buy Cliff notes for an E-book?

DrEasy
DrEasy
11 years ago

Who knew Grey Albright was really Hunter S. Thompson?

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
11 years ago

Don’t go all James Frey on (e)Oprah when people swallow the fictional sections hook, line and sinker. I’m guessing you’re Horton Foote…and I am a terrific guesser. As a guy who has been a fake guy on the internet for 10 years now, I say fair play to you. If God had wanted people to know who you are on the internet, he wouldn’t have populated it with so many weirdos from whom you really want to conceal your identity.

JaHerer22
JaHerer22
11 years ago

12 team MLB, C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, OF, OF, OF, UTIL, UTIL w/ 6 keepers. I kept:

1) Joey Votto
2) Kevin Youkalis
3) Justin Upton
4) B.J. Upton
5) Cole Hamels
6) Chris Carpenter

Due to draft pick trades and what not I have the 2nd, 5th, and 9th picks. The guy picking 1st told me he’s taking Jay Bruce. My options, in Grey’s ranking order:

McCann
V-Mart
Chris Young
Mark Reynolds
Gallardo
Rollins
Jeter
Michael Young
Casey McGee
Rickie Weeks
Roy Oswalt
Aram
Aaron Hill
Adam Lind
Pena

Was actually hoping to get Bruce but leaning now towards Chris Young and McCann/V-Mart with my 1st 2 picks. Usually punt C but McCann in the 8th round seems worth it. Wasn’t planning to draft another SP for awhile but if Gallardo is still there with my 3rd pick in the 9th round he seems too good to pass up. Otherwise would probably take Weeks or Hill to fill out my infield…punt SS, draft a Reynolds/Pena type a few rounds later for UTIL.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Tony
Tony
11 years ago

@grey: can you give a total of how many you’ve sold/SELL?

I hope you make some keesh, you deserve it.

kangaroo hops
kangaroo hops
11 years ago

Rosebud.
That is all.

majortommy
majortommy
11 years ago

Grey Albright doesn’t have the same cache as Mr Mojo Risin, sounds more like a 12th level chaotic neutral elven ranger.

With Utley, Brown and Werth not in the Phillies lineup, why would anyone pitch to Howard? How much do you think this hurts his value?

Kevin
Kevin
11 years ago

Does this purchase come with a life size cardboard cutout? If so, I’m in!

paddyman
paddyman
11 years ago

Would the real grey please stand up? I’m intrigued by the ebook.
Anyway drafted yesterday. Been paying attention to your advice but there are some weaknesses here for sure. Should I trade for more power in the outfield?

My Team:
C Mauer
1B Dunn
2B B Roberts
SS Hanley Ramirez
3B Beltre,
IF Ike Davis
OF Pence
OF Tabata
OF Swisher
BN Raburn
BN A Torres
SP Hanson
SP Marcum
SP Gallardo
SP Chacin
RP Axford
RP Bailey
RP Saito
RP B League
SP Kennedy
SP De la Rosa
SP Mike Minor
Farm: P Alvarez, D Valencia, J Montero, M Pineda

Scott
Scott
11 years ago

Grey, thoughts on this team? Thanks.

12 Team 5×5 Roto

C – (18) Posada
1B – (1) Gonzalez
2B – (4) Kinsler
3B – (2) Zimmerman
SS – (7) Andrus
OF – (3) Heyward
OF – (5) Pence
OF – (8) Victorino
UT – (11) Lind
UT – (17) Snider

SP – (6) Gallardo
SP – (9) Scherzer
SP – (10) Billingsley
SP – (13) Lilly
SP – (14) D. Hudson
RP – (12) Valverde
RP – (15) Kimbrel
RP – (16) Hanrahan
RP – (20) Francisco

BN – (19) Chacin
BN – (21) Kuo
BN – (22) Fuentes

preptime
preptime
11 years ago

@Grey: Thornton has been named the White Sox closer. Top 10 closer potential?

Jesse
Jesse
11 years ago

That is easily the most hastily spent $15 that has ever left my wallet.

Black Beard
Black Beard
11 years ago

How would a league that counts the standard categories and OPS as a sixth cat. affect your SS rankings?

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

chuck,sorry didnt see the A.L only(been up al night and working and had a few breakfast drinks)so in other words,yeah what the real grey said

mc serch
mc serch
11 years ago

Dooode!
Wait….what? Are you effing kidding me? You drop this shizz on the eve of my fantasy draft? Really Grey (or whatever your name is), do you understand the existential ranifications for the rest of us? I don’t even know who I am any more!!! Ok, well, I do know I’m not MC Serch. Nevertheless, my world has been turned inside out…..like the hooker Utley bought for the rook. Anywho, I’m buying the ebook (my first, so congrats on popping my cherry) and of course after my draft and at the end of the season I will purchase daquiris (or whatever else you’re drinking these days) to show my love. Truth be told, while I believe you do rock an otherwordly stache, I never actually thought the pic was yours and I’m inclined to believe that your last name ends in a vowel and maybe has a couple of z’s in it….how else would you know to quote that sage Italian philosopher who once said, “Ay, where’s the broads?” Thanks for all you do and, since we are all coming clean (ummm, sorry) this Monday morning, I will no longer be using MC Serch to comment. From this point forward, from now till the end of the world, my Razzball comments will be submitted under my real name……. which is Nom de Plume.

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

Doc ha,he probably doent even drink,now im pissed

Doc
Doc
11 years ago

Grey Albright is Keyser Söze

Jobu's Rum
Jobu's Rum
11 years ago

Alright Grey, I’ll let you take my ebook cherry. But something is making me nervous; you started a fantasy baseball site and presumably have worked as a screenwriter. So help me Jebus, you better not be Matthew Berry or imma be pissed! I mean, I’ll still read you but…

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

chuck,no offense but,no top sp,only 1 stud,to many $9-$15 guys that arent any better that $2-$5 guys,i hope im wrong but i dont like the chemistry of this team,that being said,ive yet to draft.Tomorrow night,then friday then saturday for mine

The Gig
The Gig
11 years ago

This gives a funny feeling in my tummy…. no real Grey, no pornstache. My world has been turned upside down. I tried to convince my wife to name our child Grey, but then it turned out to be a girl…divine intervention? How am I supposed to carry on knowing the ‘stache and the name are completely divorced from the actually dude? What about Rudy? Am I now to believe that Rudy doesn’t have a big ‘Fro?

Man, I’m queezy.

As soon as I bring back the bottles and cans from my soon-to-happen drinking binge I’m buying the book.

Chunk
Chunk
11 years ago

“As with most things, the more you’re doing it for yourself, the better off you are.”

The real Grey is an objectivist! Makes up for no stache.

Is Cody Ross worth an add in a 16 team league? I only have Garret Jones eligible at RF and it sounds like he’ll be sitting now and again. Hamilton and Kemp at LF and CF so I’m not too desperate in the outfield.

joe from point pleasant
joe from point pleasant
11 years ago

@chata, @ anyone,

WHAT IS ON THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO???!??!?? Damn firewalls are work!!!

Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
11 years ago

Grey,

12 team AL-Only Auction, What do you think of my team?

C John Jaso, TB C $1
1B Miguel Cabrera, Det 1B $43
2B Howie Kendrick, LAA 2B $20
SS Jhonny Peralta, Det SS $8
3B Mark Reynolds, Bal 3B $17
2B/SS Cliff Pennington, Oak SS $9
1B/3B Mark Trumbo, LAA 1B $3
OF Nick Markakis, Bal OF $24
OF Austin Jackson, Det OF $10
OF Jason Kubel, Min OF $9
OF Julio Borbon, Tex OF $6
OF Magglio Ordonez, Det OF $4
UTIL Alex Gordon, KC OF $11
SP Brandon Morrow, Tor SP $14
SP Brian Matusz, Bal SP $12
SP Gio Gonzalez, Oak SP $10
SP Ervin Santana, LAA SP $10
SP Brett Cecil, Tor SP $6
SP Brian Duensing, Min SP $2
RP Matt Thornton, CWS RP $14
RP Daniel Bard, Bos RP $7
RP Alexi Ogando, Tex RP $4
BN Octavio Dotel, Tor RP $2
BN Michael Brantley, Cle OF $3
BN Jed Lowrie, Bos SS $5

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

chata,ha i have a good friend and co-worker nicknamed festus,looks just like him

John McDaniel
John McDaniel
11 years ago

WGA? Drugs? Prostitutes? Sounds like your book could have shades of Alan Weisbecker. This may also be the first time you dropped the f-bomb in a post.

AnotherFalstaff
AnotherFalstaff
11 years ago

@Grey – OK, I bit. As one grateful American desiring fantasy baseball advice and a good laugh to a deserving, thirsty blogger – Thanks! Alas, I wish I could say that my moniker referred to an aspiring Shakespearean acting career. Unfortunately, it only refers to the enjoyment of listening to a drunken Harry Caray call White Sox games in my youth and an early affinity for cheap beer. Keep up the good work!

quimmy
quimmy
11 years ago

OMG *world shattered*

At least tell me the stache isn’t an alias?

joe from point pleasant
joe from point pleasant
11 years ago

@GREY?

MIKE? STEVE? DAMNIT I WANT TO KNOW YOUR REAL NAME NOW. ALAN?

IS THAT REALLY YOUR PICTURE???? IF IT ISNT IM NOT SURE WHAT ILL DO…

chata
chata
11 years ago

hehe

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

i meant im not really grey

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

wilsonian,sorry im really the real Gray Albright,im just working night shift and partially drunk,hence the user name

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

wilsonian,venable will not be at all dependable,i thought he would last year against greys thoughts and suffered,but with that said and your other questions,im assuming your in a real deap league and he does offer some usable numbers

t-rex
t-rex
11 years ago

Well, I’ve spent more money on a novel that I read in a week. At least this website is year-round entertainment. Maybe I can buy the readers digest condensed version from OZZIE.

@Doug Ault: would you want to know what he used the tea cozy for, before buying it?

wilsoniam
wilsoniam
11 years ago

grey piece man…ill see if i can do the paypal thing later today.

3 super amazing questions for you on this monday:

1. what would you say will venable’s stat line will look like this year?
2. is lorenzo cain winning the job in CF for the royals?
3. is beachy going to win the 5th rotation spot?? or na?

thanks!

Tony
Tony
11 years ago

Hey if any of you regular razzers can check my real draft its in the baseball discussion forum under TROPHY TONYS DRAFT, its a 10×10 H2H draft…. I appreciate it. Leave me a link and I’ll check your post.

First draft of the year last night, and my RCL tonight, my mind is wiped and now grey drops an E-book!

AL KOHOLIC
AL KOHOLIC
11 years ago

Its not the name that matters Grey,its the myth,Im sure the book will remind me of some of my 30 years of partying though, i didnt manage to be quite as succesfull as you.But in all serriousness ill buy the damn book,not for its contents but to thank you for the last few years of a totally awesome site.You my friend are truly gifted at something you love.Many have tried and many have failed to even remotely compare to your whittyness,humor and expert information.Cudos to you for capturing such loyal fans as we all are.It is a gift.Thanks for everything.
P.S. I HATE READING
Bought your book and a diaqari for you,from 1 AL to the other.
I AM THE REAL GRAY ALBRIGHT(spelled wrong on purpose)

Cain Fan
Cain Fan
11 years ago

I feel bad for all those people that named their kids after you. Now they are all named after a pseudonym. Why do you hate children!

kR Express
11 years ago

12 man headxhead keeper league, have to choose four out of this dog shit team I inherited, from reading your work I would assume the checked or do you see it another way:
Robinson Cano XX
Alfonso Soriano
Vladimir Guerrero
Geovany Soto
Albert PujolsXX
Alexei Ramirez
Mark Reynolds
Rajai Davis
Raul Ibanez
Starlin Castro
John Jaso
Manny Ramirez
Travis Hafner
Rafael Soriano
Mariano Rivera
Jair Jurrjens
Fausto Carmona
Chad BillingsleyXX
Mitch Talbot
Kris Medlen
Ted LillyXX
Ryan Dempster
Brett Myers
Barry Zito

SwaggerJackers
SwaggerJackers
11 years ago

My real name may not be SwaggerJackers but I do jack swag regularly.

Grey doesn’t really have a mustache either. Everyone go cry.

mindicohn
mindicohn
11 years ago

$15 isn’t that bad. Will have to get it later.

Is there anything wrong w Colby Lewis? Buddy who grabbed him in auction last night dropped him already for Travis Wood? Wtf? My pitching is horrible. Liriano price and billingsley to go w vazquez and burnett. Who of- desmond,alcides, aroldis, raburn or I.Stewart should I drop for colby?

Eddy
Eddy
11 years ago

Congratulations on your e-book, Grey!

Carns
11 years ago

Love how it’s just going to say “GREY” on my credit card statement.

Shell
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
Wawa
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
Shell
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
Wawa
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
Restaurant & Bar
GREY

By the way, if I find out there is no mustache, I’m going to e-burn the book.

Howard
Howard
11 years ago

I heard that Frank Francisco was going to see Dr. Freeze today. He was nice RP3 candidate!

Howard
Howard
11 years ago

Hi Grey, I guess I’ll have to cave and get paypal. I’ve survived so many year without it but I don’t think I can go without reading your book. Will you sell it to itunes?

byrone
byrone
11 years ago

all in with Joe c- no stache, no deal.

Ozzie
Ozzie
11 years ago

Can I buy just these pages…19-20, 32-34, 41-43, 54-58, 61-63, 67-73, 88-89 and 93….? I am going to print it out in small bible format and go door to door spreading the good word. Do these pages properly tell me how to use cocain and hookers together? Unfortunately Darryl and his Strawberry’s never wrote a book on how to mix n match.

Loved the Taiwanese orphan story, I am thinking PBS made for TV movie, limited commercial interruption.

Keeper league, extra category. OBP instead of avg, (-k) for hitters, k/bb for pitchers.

What SP is fair value for P. Alvarez now? Trade now or wait, and who could he possible fetch in future? Thanks.

JoeC
JoeC
11 years ago

Ah, I thought it was gonna be an annoucement that Razzball was being sold to ESPN. PHEW! Never so glad to be WRONG!

This is… interesting. I’m purchasing it right now. You are about to become a very rich man (if $150 is “rich” to you!). ;)

I just hope that there’s no “I don’t really have a mustache” drivel in this. Now THAT, I could not take.

Santa Claus
Santa Claus
11 years ago

If I can convince my wife to spend another 15 bucks on FB stuff, I´m in…

and yes, I´m whipped.

Doug Ault
Doug Ault
11 years ago

Save the forest buy an ebook!

I’d have plunked down more than 15 bucks if you tossed in a complimentary tea cozy ;-)

looking forward to the read Grey

Hennessey
Hennessey
11 years ago

@Grey, or whoever you are.

Just drafted in a 10 team league.

7×7—OBP/TB and QS/L

C,1B,2B,3B,SS,OF,OF,OF,UTIL,UTIL,UTIL
6 SP, 2 RP
6 bench, 2 DL

(8) Joey Votto 1B
(13) David Wright 3B
(28) Matt Holliday OF — Literally had to Google if he was hurt when he dropped this far…schwing!
(33) Dan Uggla 2B
(48) Jason Heyward OF — You down with OBP? Yeah, you know me!
(53) Brian McCann C — Every year I tell myself to punt catcher…every year I end up with McCann =/
(68) Hunter Pence OF
(73) Cole Hamels SP
(88) Elvis Andrus SS
(93) Max Scherzer SP
(108) Krispie Young UTIL — I think my buddies let their moms draft for them this year
(113) Chad Billingsley SP
(128) Juan Pierre UTIL – Probably my worst pick…Tabata went undrafted…
(133) Brett Anderson SP
(148) Daniel Hudson SP
(153) Carlos Pena UTIL — Needed some pop, and he won’t kill ya in OBP
(168) Edinson Volquez SP
(173) Jason Bay BN — Bench flier…this late I figured why not
(188) Joel Hanrahan RP
(193) Gio Gonzalez SP
(208) Ryan Raburn BN – Booyah!
(213) Brandon League RP
(228) Jake McGee RP
(233) Kyle Farnsworth RP — one of these guys better be TB’s closer
(248) Mike Minor SP — wanted a favorable review

Thoughts?

Steve
Steve
11 years ago

Aha! I knew it!

Er, no I didn’t. Well, I kinda did.

Not quite sure what to think, actually.

Steve is my real name, BTW (emoticon)

Oh – and what rafi said.

jerome bishop
jerome bishop
11 years ago

well said rafi.

rafi
rafi
11 years ago

And I say my previous comment just as a fan.

rafi
rafi
11 years ago

Marqo,

Agreed!

Marqo
Marqo
11 years ago

Awesome!