Hey, a guy who’s already debuted. Let’s refresh the memory on Brett Baty:

And home run number two:

And pure unadulterated love to help weigh out all the hours you spend listening to true crime:

Sweet stuff. Not just the swing, but the family love. Speaking of family, it’s me, your daddy, with what I said back in August when he was called up, “It’s Brett Baty as in Brett “Beatty” — not “Batty,” because I know in your head, you see Brett Baty and think Batty. Oh, yeah, I know what is going on in your head. You’re thinking I also pronounced it Brett “Batty.” Wrong! I’m in your head, but you’re not in my head! In my head, I like to pronounce Brett’s last name “Bat-Why,” and with a flourish like it’s Pad Thai. I’ll tell you Bat-Why! Bat-Why because just last week he landed on Itch’s top 25 prospects for dynasty leagues, where he said, ‘Brett Baty has no business in AA. He’s repeating the level after posting a 118 wRC+ in 40 games last year, and he’s slashing .355/.427/.655 with eight home runs in his last 26 games. Who’s in charge of this stuff? What’s happening here? This is dumb, so I think somehow Grey’s behind it.’ Okay, not cool. Bat Why’s numbers at Double-A ended up 19 HRs, .312/.406 in 89 games, as he was finally promoted to Triple-A after Itch’s insistence, and he’s continued to hit there too. The Mets need a third baseman with Eduardo Escobar IL’d and Baty is being called up. I Bat-Why’d on all my teams where I too need a third baseman. He could be the last big call-up. By the why, who doesn’t need a 3rd baseman? The one team who drafted Jo-Jo-Ram in your league? Cool, not me, which is why I Bat-Why’d and that’s Bat-Because.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Itch! So, what can we expect from Brett Baty for 2023 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“You’re going to be hearing a lot about Ezequiel Tovar this offseason, so why not get started now? *phone rings* One second, sorry. “Hello? Yes, this is Grey. Yes, Grey Albright. Yes, the one with the luscious mustache and full head of hair! Yes, the only person who is five-seven but looks at least six-one! Yes, you’re talking to him! This is Future Me? Grey? I thought your voice sounded familiar. What’s up, Future Me, if I may call you that…Call you Mr. Albright? Uh, okay. What’s up, Mr. Albright? Ezequiel Tovar is hitting .350 with power and speed next year? That’s awesome! What do you mean it’s not awesome? Why? Because Bud Black’s playing the 32-year-old Scott Schebler at shortstop? Is Scott Schebler hitting well? Should I pick him up in eight months as a hot schmotato? Hello…Hello…?” I think he hung up.” And that’s me quoting Future Me! That was from when Ezequiel Tovar got called up at the end of the year. Ya know what’s a little crazy? Your aunt? Yes, but I’m talking about how it’s a little crazy how Rockies writers, who seemingly know the club better than anyone else, never talk about how awful Bud Black is. Likely because Bud is where the bread is buttered for scoops — Bud buttered? Hmm, I wish I didn’t think that. I also think most Rockies fans like Bud. *shrugs* Well, there’s no accounting for good taste or sense. Am I still very worried Bud Black will inexplicably find someone random to play shortstop instead of Tovar? If you don’t learn from the past Future Me, you will only repeat Future Me’s past mistakes. So, what can we expect from Ezequiel Tovar for 2023 fantasy baseball?

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I did a google for Matt Mervis and his ETA and I found he’s going to be promoted to the Cubs in 2022. Very cool, let’s see how he did. Let me do another google for us. Hmm, I’m not seeing any stats for Matt Mervis with the Cubs. They must’ve had some great 1st baseman in the North Side of Chicago, huh? Let’s see…Alfonso Rivas? Hmm…I don’t remember him being, how do they say it, good. I kid, of course, Alfonso Rivas was great (if you don’t know what the word great means). Rivas hit three homers and .235, but in only 101 games. Maybe he needs more of a chance? Say, another 4,000 games? No? Okay. Oh, I’m being told Rivas was only the lefty side of the 1st base platoon for the Cubs! Of course! The righty side must’ve been so much better, right? Let’s see…P.J. Higgins got 38 games at first and hit six homers and .229. Pajamas Higgins must’ve just had a bad year! What? That’s his best season at the plate in eight years of pro ball? Oh, okay. So, my point is obviously that Matt Mervis is going to be the Cubs’ 1st baseman to start the season, unless they want to see more from Pajamas. *weighing options with hands as scales* Pajamas, who sucks worse than feety pee-jays…Or a good prospect. Hmm, tough call. So, what can we expect from Matt Mervis for 2023 fantasy baseball?

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Some players seem like they are MLB The Show “Create a player” players. Here I call them Lab Babies. Jordan Walker? Oh, he’s definitely a Lab Baby. You see him and think, “Well, that guy’s 28 years old and has been destroying minor leaguers for years, right?” Then you hear he’s 20 years old and you start stumbling around humping fire hydrants because you’re drunk on rookie nookie. You’re hitting the hooch on that 151 Rum of Sexy Prospect Liquor. You’re drunk all right, but on all natural 80-grade sativa. It’s a strain that grows in prospect journals and gets nothing but shine, no shade whatsoever. Here’s what Prospect Itch has said previously, “I made the trip to see Walker in High-A, but he was on the bench that night, or rather, atop the dugout steps cheering on his new teammates, looking like a human giant. I have no reason to argue against his listed 6’5” 220 lbs, but I can say he dwarfed everyone else on the team. I can also say I saw enough of Walker’s work on MiLB.tv that I want to be driving that bus in dynasty leagues. He features double-plus athleticism for a big man, a controlled swing that explodes through the zone, and plenty of foot speed to make himself a pest on the basepaths. He’s looking like a consensus top ten prospect sooner than later, and I’d like to punch Grey in his head.” Okay, putting aside that last part, this was from Itch last year! Think Itch would be the first person to tell you that Jordan Walker has only got better! So, what can we expect from Jordan Walker for 2023 fantasy baseball?

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Orioles’ GM Mike Elias on Grayson Rodriguez, “I hope he makes the opening-day rotation.” Hey, Mike, that makes two of us. Elias Sports Bureau asked of Mike Elias, “Are you our father?” Grayson Rodriguez is the biggest pitfall for fantasy baseball rookies posts. I’ve been here already. I thought he’d be up last year. Was very disappointing to not see Grayson Rodriguez. I’d love to lay it all at the feet of the Orioles. “Hey, what are you wearing, Lake Placid Summit Boy’s Adjustables?” That’s me seeing the cheapskates that the Orioles are fitted in. (I googled cheap ice skates, if those aren’t cheapskates, I don’t know. Leave me alone.) Any hoo! It wasn’t all their fault, Grayson had a severe lat strain from about May until September. So, yeah, that sucked. At least he didn’t win Minor League Pitcher of the Year three years in a row. Yes, he won it the previous two years, which is such a jizzoke. The Orioles are cheap eh-eff. This kind of bee ess really needs to end, so I can stop spelling out cuss words. There should be zero incentive for a MLB team to keep a prospect in the minors if he’s ready. Grayson Rodriguez prolly could’ve had a season as good as Alek Manoah last year, if he stayed healthy and was actually in the majors, but he’s throwing darts in the minors. So, what can we expect from Grayson Rodriguez for 2023 fantasy baseball?

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I said something in my Corbin Carroll fantasy the other day, that people might take the wrong way, so to clarify. I think Gunnar Henderson can be better than Bobby Witt Jr., especially in real baseball. I think Corbin Carroll can be excellent, a top 25 overall type bat. When I said I thought Julio Rodriguez was better than Carroll, and Witt Jr. was better than Gunnar, I meant their rookie 2022 seasons vs. these rookies’ 2023 seasons. Can’t expect insane years like what Julio and Bobby did every year. It just doesn’t happen. It doesn’t mean Gunnar Henderson or Carroll can’t be great. Gunnar likely has better contact than Witt Jr., which will lead to a better average. He just doesn’t have the speed as BWJ, so his fantasy value isn’t going to be as pronounced. Fahn-tah-see val-ewe, that’s how fantasy value is pronounced. If I’m being honest, I think we’ve been a little spoiled in recent years with rookies. Haven’t had a real stinker since Michael Fulmer in 2016. Ha, Fulmer out here taking strays in his Google alerts for no reason. In 2017, Aaron Judge hit 52 HRs and .284 as a rookie and Cody Belinger went 39/10, and since then we’ve had some incredible rookie years (I’m ignoring 2020, but Kyle Lewis wasn’t bad in a goofy year). All of that is totally irrelevant for today, but also kinda spoiling us, even if it’s subconsciously. I am merely setting your expectations. Gunnar Henderson is going to rosterable and great, but just try to be realistic. The top of the rookie class will just be a bit lower than last year’s top of the class. So, what can we expect from Gunnar Henderson for 2023 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A fantasy baseball It Was A Good Day.

Just wakin’ up in tha mornin’, gotta thank Junior Vlad,
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd,
No barkin’ from any pitchers’ elbows makin’ me look for replacements,
And momma cooked a breakfast and left it by my door — her basement’s,
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out,
My insulin, I didn’t need to dig out,
Rollin’ around in a field of daffodils,
Not even worried about lactose that I can’t metabolise,
Rememberin’ what it’s like to feel alive,
Lookin’ for a prospect who’s got speed, power and line drives,
Forgettin’ that I have allergies, and a doctor-restricted diet of 1500 calories,
Not sneezing, thinkin’ about the best rookies for 2023 fantasy baseball galleries.
Findin’ an empty cola can to use as an ashtray,
Talkin’ about the best 2023 fantasy baseball prospect, gotta say It Was A Good Day.

Last year’s top rookie in my rookie outlook series was Bobby Witt Jr. (Julio Rodriguez was #2 with the caveat that I wasn’t sure if he was breaking camp; he did, and broke the internet). Year before that, it was Randy Arozarena, before that Luis Robert. The year before was Vlad Jr.; the year before–You get the picture! Every year there’s a #1 rookie going into the upcoming season. Ergo/Therego: Welcome to the 2023 fantasy baseball rookie series and Corbin Carroll for 2023 fantasy baseball! This feels a little more precarious than past years because I like my next rookie (Gunnar Henderson) a lot too, and there doesn’t feel like a clearcut HOLY SCHNIKES THIS GUY’S GONNA BLOW US AWAY. I said to Prospect Itch what I was thinking, “Corbin Carroll’s less than Julio Rodriguez and Bobby Witt Jr. but is better than Gunnar, right?” And he agreed. That doesn’t mean these guys can’t be fantastic. These guys are future superstars in their own right. Gunnar will be in my next post, but today’s: So, what can we expect from Corbin Carroll for 2023 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve gone over the final 2022 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball — we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle is to porn. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2023 rookies. Let’s boogie to the next year, boogiers! Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

All the final 2022 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters are done. For those that skipped today’s title, this starts the top 20 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. This is NOT for next year (caps for those who can’t read titles; supposedly it’s easier to read caps, I have my doubts). This is a recap. Will these affect next year’s rankings? Sure. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. Not entirely. Yes, entirely. Like when you had a knee replacement, this is a recap! To recapitulate the recap, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. We’re (me’re) using it to fairly gauge our (my) preseason rankings. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

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With the top 40 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. Why are you now patting my butt? Don’t muss my hair! The pitching recap will begin next. You can hardly wait. No, you! To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would be to go this route. This way when I say a player finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason, it carries more weight than Willians Astudillo. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

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The good news is the top 20 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball are better than the top 20 3rd basemen. The unfortunate news is, if you had a five-outfielder league, you need at least 60 of these guys, and by the time we get through 40 in our next post, we will have already run dry of solid outfielders. Outfield isn’t shallow, but I wouldn’t say it’s deep either. This end-of-the-year ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

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And we’ve reached our final top 20 recap for the infield, and, if you exclude the top 20 catchers, 3rd base is by far the shallowest position. 3rd base ain’t great, y’all! This is the first position where there’s guys at the tail end that I actively wouldn’t have wanted on my fantasy teams, and guys like Yoan Moncada, Bobby Dalbec, Ke’Bryan Hayes, Adalberto Mondesi and Anthony Rendon all stunk, and didn’t even come within a sniff of the top 20 3rd basemen. Also, even the top 20 2nd basemen, which wasn’t great saw Wilmer Flores at 20, he’s 19th overall here, so this was a tad shallower. To recap my recap before the recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. This is not for next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?