Grey

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Bobby Witt Jr., 2022 Fantasy Outlook

October 22, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 59 Comments

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A fantasy baseball It Was A Good Day.

Just wakin’ up in tha mornin’, gotta thank Junior Vlad,
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd,
No barkin’ from any pitchers’ elbows makin’ me look for replacements,
And momma cooked a breakfast and left it by my door — her basement’s,
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out,
My insulin I didn’t need to dig out,
Rollin’ around in a field of daffodils,
Not even worried about lactose that I can’t metabolise,
Rememberin’ what it’s like to feel alive,
Lookin’ for a prospect who’s got speed, power and line drives,
Forgettin’ that I have allergies, and a doctor-restricted diet of 1500 calories,
Not sneezing, thinkin’ about the best rookies for 2022 fantasy baseball galleries.
Findin’ an empty cola can to use as an ashtray,
Talkin’ about the best 2022 fantasy baseball prospect, gotta say It Was A Good Day.

Last year’s top rookie in my rookie outlook series was Randy Arozarena. Year before that, it was Luis Robert. The year before was Vlad Jr.; the year before–You get the picture! Every year there’s a #1 rookie going into the upcoming season. Ergo/Therego:  Welcome to the 2022 fantasy baseball rookie series and Bobby Witt Jr.! This feels a little more precarious than past years because usually I like to have some inclination from the team that they’re going to start the year with the player. Could the Royals suppress Bobby Witt Jr.’s playing time for another six years, then convert him to a pitcher for another five years just to avoid paying him? Yes, that’s what cheap teams do. So, what can we expect from Bobby Witt Jr. for 2022 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 40 Starters for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, a Recap

October 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 51 Comments

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We’ve gone over the final 2021 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball — we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle is to porn. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2022 rookies. Let’s boogie to the next year, boogiers! Oh, and one thing I think people might enjoy if you’ve been reading Razzball for a while, Tehol’s on national TV without pants:

Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Starters for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, a Recap

October 19, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 91 Comments

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All the final 2021 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters are done. For those that skipped today’s title, this starts the top 20 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball. This is NOT for next year (caps for those who can’t read titles; supposedly it’s easier to read caps, I have my doubts). This is a recap. Will these affect next year’s rankings? Sure. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. Not entirely. Entirely. Like when you had a knee replacement, this is a recap! To recapitulate the recap, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. We’re (me’re) using it to fairly gauge our (my) preseason rankings. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 40 Outfielders for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, a Recap

October 18, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 35 Comments

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With the top 40 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. Why are you now patting my butt? Don’t muss my hair! The pitching recap will begin next. You can hardly wait. No, you! To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would be to go this route. This way when I say a player finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason, it carries more weight than Willians Astudillo. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Outfielders for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, a Recap

October 15, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 67 Comments

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The good news is the top 20 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball are better than the top 20 3rd basemen. The unfortunate news is, if you had a five-outfielder league, you need at least 60 of these guys, and by the time we get through 40 in our next post, we will have already run dry of solid outfielders. Outfield isn’t shallow, but I wouldn’t say it’s deep either. This end-of-the-year ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 3rd Basemen for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, a Recap

October 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 55 Comments

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And we’ve reached our final top 20 recap for the infield, and, if you exclude the catchers, 3rd base is by far the shallowest position. 3rd base ain’t great, y’all! This is the first position where there’s guys at the tail end that I actively wouldn’t have wanted on my fantasy teams, and guys like Yoan Moncada, Bobby Dalbec, Alex Bregman, KeBryan Hayes and Alec Bohm all stunk, and didn’t even come within a sniff of the top 20 3rd basemen. To recap my recap before the recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. This is not for next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Shortstops for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 12, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 28 Comments

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Now that we’ve recapped the top 20 catchers, top 20 1st basemen and top 20 2nd basemen, we’re starting to see clarity on depth of positions, and this is an M. Night unexpected twist. Shortstops are not as deep as 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen benefited from some guys (Semien, Trea) getting 2nd base eligibility, but it still leaves the shortstops, a position considered extremely deep, shallower. *sings Bradley Cooper/Lady Gaga “Shallow” for 15 minutes on repeat* That’s a bit of a shock. Not how beautiful my voice is. That’s not shocking at all. So, here’s the final ranking from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 2nd Basemen for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 11, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 36 Comments

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We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball. Today, we dip our big toe into the top 20 2nd basemen pool. Also, for the 2nd time in two positions, I ranked and projected every player in the top 20. Glorious be me, but also that means there were very few guys to come out of nowhere this year. Through three recapped positions, it’s only been Eric Haase. More like HAHAHAHAHaase. To recap this crap (rhyme points!), this final ranking for last year is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 1st Basemen for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 77 Comments

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Today’s journey through the recaps take us to the 1st basemen. They’re better than the top 20 catchers for 2021 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all), but by how much? How do I explain that? I have an idea! By recapping them! To recap my recap before the recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. This is not for next year. Hayzeus Cristo, just enjoy a recap before we get into next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Catchers for 2021 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 7, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 95 Comments

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Not a bad year for me with the 2021 catcher rankings in the broadest of terms. This year I only left one guy unranked who ended up in the top 20, and if anyone ranked Eric Haase in the top 20, then kudos to them for figuring out a reliable, gas-efficient time machine. That doesn’t mean my rankings are a chef’s kiss from Padma as I win the Quickfire. Oh, some of these are a hot mess from where I ranked them, compared to where they ended up. Please don’t ask if this is a ranking for next year. It’s not a ranking for next year. It’s me recapping last season. Please, for the love that all is holy, understand this. It’s all I ask of you. Well, that and shower me with praise. The latter isn’t hard, the former is. Also, remembering which is the ‘latter’ and which is the ‘former’ is hard too. Quibbles and semantics, my good man and five lady-mans. It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The 13th Annual Razzballies

October 5, 2021 | Y to Z | 108 Comments

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Welcome back to our year-end awards show! All the stars are here. There’s The Rock! Wow, he sure knows how to keep it light. *points to a rock holding open a door to let in sun* Thanks, Rock, it’s so light in here for a mother’s basement! Now, if there’s any issues with the award ballots, don’t look at me. These were all tabulated at the accounting firm of Kipnis, Tellez and Zimmerman. Stop giving them the evil eye, German Marquez! You might be wondering why I’m hosting. Well, at the last minute our other host had to back out. Sadly, Joe Buck couldn’t be hair. I mean here. Now, before we get to our first award, I just want to thank everyone. This was truly a trying year for a lot of people, and I appreciate all of you, except Cody Bellinger. Okay, now onto the awards, without which you’d have no idea who was the best and worst hitters and pitchers this year, and you’d be left giving out your own awards and no one cares if your “Low sodium tomato soup in a sourdough bowl” won your “Whitest Lunch Of All-Time” award. Stop making up fake awards! Leave that to me. Anyway, here’s the year-end awards for the best and worst of 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

An End To The Best Baseball Season Of The Decade

October 4, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 166 Comments

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You emerge from mother’s basement, holding your hands up to your eyes to block the sun, and scream, “Ma! I won my fantasy league! Ma!” You stop to look around; it’s a fiery landscape reminiscent to an apocalypse. You open further the basement door, and it falls off its hinges. Scared, you whisper, “Ma?” There’s no walls anymore on your house, which gives you a vantage point to the entire surrounding area that smolders. Coming up your once-tree-lined street is a posse of thousands of–An army from another country? Another world? Who are these people? What have they done with your family? Just as the questions dissolve over you, a warrior spots you and grunts for you to get in line. You reach for the only weapon you can get your hands on, a Lou Pinella commemorative mini-bat from a 1981 stadium giveaway, and join the post-apocalyptic army. As you scuttle into position behind the marching forces, you see a group of warriors carrying your mother’s head on a pitchfork. Overcome with emotion, you run up and scream, “Ma! I gotta tell you about the fantasy league I won!” In this scenario, I am your mother, and the army is Razzball. You’re welcome! Today is the day when you realize you’ve spent 27,000 man hours this summer beating eleven other strangers to win a virtual trophy, and it feels great! That’s if you won your league, if you came in 2nd or worst, you get an A for effort.

Another baseball season is in the books, for our purposes at least — or porpoises, if you’re a dolphin — since no leagues I know of count game 163, and with a baseball season in the books, it means Cody Bellinger’s 2021 is now in the books, and, in conclusion, that is why they should burn books. Any questions? *calls on a white guy who looks zonked* Yes? “If I’m going to IHOP is it MeHOP, MyselfHOP or IHOP, or does it depend on usage?” God damn it, is that you Cody Bellinger?! Stop smoking so much weed! *Cody lowers his head, kicks a rock and walks out of the room* Okay, if there’s no more questions, I have one: how long until next year’s rankings come out?! Wait, I have to write them. When I’m done, I’ll start to put them on our Patreon. Now, one more question, what do I do for the next three months? Oh, yeah, write the rankings! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?