‘Member the days when I told you that you needed a top 1st basemen and you shouldn’t look for sleepers at this position? Don’t remember? Prolly for best, leave more room in your brain to remember excuses for why you didn’t exercise. Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position. Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year we need to look for sleepers at 1st base *ducks head*.  Whoa, someone threw a wrench into this! Fine, Pete Alonso and Matt Olson get my nethers ablaze, but 1st basemen dry up quick. As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted late. For the 1st basemen, I’m going with an ADP of 150 or later to be included in this post. Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2022 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that during the Ottoman Empire. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2022 projections and blurbs I wrote for them. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2022 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Daulton Varsho if they fall, but, to get on this list, a catcher needs to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. In regards to the ADP in the parenthesis, NFBC is mostly for two catcher leagues, so that should be taken into account. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As FDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR has said before, “Today, will live in infinity.” No truer words have been said repeatedly over and over again, but mostly in my brain. This league crawls itself into my brain and gnaws like a gnat. Imagine a gnat named Gnat opens a diner in my brain named The Peach Pit, and it’s only frequented by Bad Thoughts, and these Bad Thoughts take all the pre-draft prep that I do, and, immediately after my first pick, the Bad Thoughts whisper, “You screwed up.” That’s how I feel with this league. Is it as bad as I think or did I let in too many Bad Thoughts? It prolly is just bad. So, my Tout Wars team stinks, but, if everything works out as intended, then my Tout Wars team might only kinda stink. Here’s to kinda stinking! For those unaware, this league is 5×5 with OBP instead of AVG, two-catcher, 12-team NL-Only league. Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars draft recap:

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At the same time the Red Sox signed Trevor Story, the Yankees signed Marwin Gonzalez. The oneupmanship between these two teams is just so hard to keep up with! Will cover Marwin in a few, but in some ways the Yankees replaced Luke Voit and Gary Sanchez all in one full swoop. Ya know, a guy who doesn’t play like Voit, while also being a guy not one fan is happy with like Sanchez. Mean’s while, the Red Sox went out and added Trevor Story to play 2nd base, and my mouth fell open and I started drooling when I saw the Expected Homers by Story if he called Fenway his home park last year. This stat is in general an absolute goof that you shouldn’t pay too much attention to, but I’ve never seen someone with such a huge difference before between actual and expected homers. He had 19 expected homers in Coors last year (actually hit 24) and his expected homers in Fenway was 38 homers. That is comical. Last year, Story hit 35.5% to center and 27.3% to right. That’s a decent amount the other way (32nd in the majors) and little above average to center. In Fenway, you want to badonkadonk off the wall as many times as you can. Not so you can scare people on Lansdowne, or at least not only that reason. You wanna hit doodie shots off the wall for the doodie doubles. Like a PETA-sanctioned vet, Story has pulled more balls previously, so maybe he returns to that, but he’s been getting beat by fastballs, not exactly turning on them. Why does this sound negative? Because I think people’s first reaction is to think Story just got much better, but as Rudy’s hitter projections show, this was a pretty neutral move from Coors. Not bad, but things didn’t get much better. That extra eligibility doesn’t hurt though. Well, it doesn’t hurt Story. Where my Jarren Duran truthers at? You need a hug? Updated were my shortstops rankingstop 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Gonna look back at my ESPN fantasy baseball rankings comparison from last year, as I did with the Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings the other day, because it’s so helpful. Not for this year, but in general to humble myself. To make me hungrier than I’ve ever been. I have to eat. Then I make that spoon-to-mouth hand gesture, then I pat my stomach, making a hand gesture that I ate too fast, then I make the hand gesture that I need a nap, then I point to a watch-less wrist to ask you to wake me up, then I point to my diploma on the wall from Mime School. So, here’s the guys I told you to avoid in ESPN’s fantasy baseball rankings last year:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lionel Richie, “Say you…

Suzuki, “Seiya…”

All together, “Say it for always…That’s the way it should be!”

And he’s signed by the Cubs! Um, Seiya Suzuki not Lionel Richie, Though, how’s Lionel’s arm? The Cubs could use a starter. “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?” That’s Lionel Richie picking up the bullpen phone. All right, enough giggles, this move’s got me all fired up! Seiya Suzuki just landed in a top five situation. The lineup around him is whatever, but that’s better for him. No way the Cubs pull any nonsense like platooning him or resting him more than he needs. As the new Cubs starter Lionel Richie would say, “We’re going to Party, Karamu, Fiesta, forever!” Also, Wrigley gives Seiya the little extra bang for his power buck that you want to see. Saw him as a 23-29 homer guy. A much bigger range than you want, but he landed in a solid spot that will give him the top-end of his homer range. “I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that Seiya just can’t lose!” That’s right, Lionel! Finally, Seiya’s speed was likely five to 12 range. Again, big range, bigger than you want, but he prolly lands on the high-end of that because the Cubs won’t slow him. “Woo-oh, what a feeling (Woo-oh, what a feeling).” I got it too, Lionel! I’ve done a big update on the outfielders rankings and moved Seiya up to the top 40 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball, and he’s now on the tail-end of the top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Also, my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball has been updated. For a huge breakdown of Seiya, check out Coolwhip’s Seiya Suzuki fantasy. It’s worth the read. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every year, I put on a David Carradine-limited edition kimono, and walk the earth to ruminate on the perfect place for each player in my fantasy baseball rankings. Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs called me one year, asking if he could film my feet after one of these “walking of the earth” seshs. I declined, because my feet after 8,000 steps (according to my iWatch) on the sands of Redondo Beach are…*shudders*…I stepped on a half-eaten corndog this year. With mustard! And that’s not a euphemism for Paul DeJong. Do the guys from Yahoo Fantasy don a kimono and walk the earth for a full half-an-afternoon like me to do the Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings? Are they stepping on half-eaten corndogs for you? I highly doubt it. “These Yahoo rankings are not Kung Fu!” I scream into the jetty, as I excavate for starfish, which calms me. So, after I kebab multiple starfishes onto a skewer, I sit by an open fire, dining out on nature, and will now compare my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings with 2022 Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fernando Tatis Jr. fractured his wrist and I want to die. Just curl into a ball and bawl. MLB lockout was the butterfly’s wings and Tatis’s wrist is the earthquake in Indonesia. Hope you’re happy Rob Manfred! Fernando Tatis Jr. likely hurt himself on his motorcycle, and it was months ago. Sure, he should’ve been checked out by a doctor for the last three months for the wrist injury, but he just dusted himself off and said, “Oopsie.” If Tatis wasn’t so damn resilient, maybe he would’ve went to the doctor. Stupid, resilient, regenerative Fun The Jewels! If it wasn’t for the lockout, the Padres would’ve insisted Tatis went to see their team doctors, and his wrist would’ve been diagnosed sooner. See, this really is Rob Manfred’s fault! *goes to the beach, digs giant hole, lies down into sand grave, slowly pulls sand down on top of head* I don’t want to go on. Please, let me be. *sobs loudly*

So, Rudy updated Fernando Tatis Jr. with a 75-game dock, and he’s now at 155 overall on his 12-team auction values. I’m down to 103 overall. From the number one spot to 103 overall; I really feel like I’m going to vomit. *drives to Ralph’s supermarket then ralphs* I like to be meta, when possible. What’s kinda funny, in a painful way that isn’t funny at all, I did my adjustments to Tatis without knowing what Rudy was doing, and I have him ranked right next to Kyle Schwarber, as Rudy does, in my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Of course, I have Schwarber and Tatis higher than Rudy, barely. Also, Rudy has Tatis at 289 ABs (58/23/56/.282/13) and I have him down for 51/17/45/.287/15 in 303 ABs, and we both did our new projections without bouncing them off each other, so we’re both pretty close, which is reassuring in a very sad way. I’m a bit worried about the wrist coming all the way back immediately, but like the idea of his upside when he returns, so I ranked him a bit higher than his stats might warrant. I updated my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball; my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 20 shortstops for 2022 fantasy baseball. This all somehow sucks and simultaneously blows. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*takes long inhale* You smell that? It’s the glorious smell of actual baseball trades mixed with the mold in your mother’s basement! So, the Twins have more irons in the fire than Tigers Woods’s chimney. Since the Sonny Gray deal was self-contained, let’s start there. Sonny Gray was traded to the Twins. Reds have been rebuilding since their last playoff series win in 1995. “This mean Greene?” asks me and Dr. Seuss. First off (after that negging of the Reds), good on the Twins. Gray (him not me) was at the bottom of his perceived value last year after an unlucky year, and, well, you can read about all that at the top 60 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. All that was standing between him and an uptick in value was less homers allowed, so what better place than the Hubert H. Homerfree Dome? Kinda bummed I haven’t drafted Gray in multiple leagues already. Where’s the self-love?! As for Hunter Greene, moved him up in top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, and updated the pitchers pairings tool. Didn’t change his projections because still don’t know how many innings he can throw, but he’s in good shape to see the rotation in the landmark case of sooner vs. later.

Then the busy Twins, sent Mitch Garver to the Rangers for Isiah Kiner-Falefa, more on him in a few. The Rangers just need to make deals, whether they’re good for them or not. During the lockout, the Rangers were pulling on their collar, sweating, screaming, “I need to make a deal, man!” They’re like Pookie from New Jack City and their crack pipe is MLB roster moves. Someone needs an intervention, and that someone’s name is Texas Rangers. Not to mention, I understand Israeli Diner-Falafel is less than desirable for fantasy, but he actually made sense on the Rangers. Have the Rangers heard they lost Josh Jung? The Rangers are like a team that doesn’t draft a 3rd baseman for 15 rounds, saying, “3rd base is deep.” At least if the Rangers were going to send away Israeli Diner-Falafel, they could’ve got back Elijah Colavito-Tabouli. With the trade for Mitch Garver, the Rangers realized Jonah Heim was Superbad. Jonah Heim was removed from the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings — Hey, Jonah Heim, Don’t Look Up your name in the rankings! The top 20 catchers for 2022 fantasy baseball was updated for Mitch Garver (due to a better lineup and worse catcher behind him). That rankings post was also briefly updated for Ryan Jeffers, but the Twins weren’t done.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*takes flight to Nepal, goes sherpa shopping, finds one that I like, but hears it’s sold out, lowers head, then finds out there happens to one more of the sherpas I want in the back, smiles wide, follows the best sherpa in the world up the side of Mt. Everest, reaches the apex, looks around, and screams*

LET’SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS F*********************** GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sherpa sticks out hand for payment. Me patting pockets, “Do you take Venmo?”

MLB lockout is over. Can I get an amen? Can I get some amen in stirrups?

So, Opening Day is April 7th, and Spring Training will begin on March 13th. Hey, that’s in two days. I better hurry up! By the time you read this, there might be a flurry of free agent moves. Free agents better flurry up! How long do we have to wait to hear Carlos Correa to the Pirates. Dot dot dot. To help move Ke’Bryan Hayes to the Rays for Brett Phillips and cash considerations.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, this is bad. Two more weeks without baseball. It’s grim to even think about the MLB Twitter account tweeting about Jackie Robinson Day with no baseball being played. That will be the point when yours truly takes the final steps to becoming The Joker. As you can see, my barista has already peaked into my soul.

Gonna be honest with you, things could become dire at Razzball if we don’t have baseball back until May 1st. Writers get paid; vendors get paid; stats are not free; semi-colons are usually fun; this isn’t fun! It would go a long way towards keeping the lights on if you were to grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, and, incredibly, that gets rid of ads, which is awesome for you. Win-win! Or more wins than deGrom’s projected for. Allow me to demonstrate:

Amazing, right? One second there’s ads, next second, there’s not. Also, I know so much about Prince Charles, huh? So, grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, if you have the means, no relation to John.

Also, the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, I did it. I moved Ronald Acuña Jr. up in my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball. What’s the most games he’s going to miss now, 15? That sounds like the same as Fun The Jewels with his shoulder. It’s not a jinx if you know it’s going to happen. I learned that from an eye-patched gypsy that hung out with the Peaky f***ing Blinders. I also updated my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hey, kid, welcome to the bigs! Bigs are what we now call the bags, because they’re big. During the lockout of 2022, in effort to fix the game, MLB started using couch cushions at each base and the frame of the couch as home plate. So, in the bigs, you just collect the cushions as you round the bases and put them in the couch to score at home. See, ‘home’ is already there in the name, and the MLB owners were smart enough to realize that. Plus, it helps them reach a new demographic. Kids love furniture.” Wakes with a sudden jolt. Whoa, I was having a nightmare that MLB was in a lockout, and instead of figuring out the financials for both sides, they were making the bases bigger. That wasn’t a nightmare? Oh, crap, I’m going back to sleep. Though, now I kinda understand Rudy’s hitter projections for Oneil Cruz. He’s 7’4″, so bigger bags means he just needs to make one step towards 1st base, hence Cruz’s projected .282 average. So, the TGFBI is an industry league of ‘perts from all different sites, competing against each other. The league is a 30-round draft, 15-team, mixed league with weekly waivers. Kinda like the Draft Champions, 15-team leagues we do at NFBC. By the way, who wants to do another league? I need to draft to fill this pre-pre-preseason. (If you want to compete against me and a few hundred of your worst frenemies, here’s our Razzball Commenter Leagues signups.) So, here’s my 15-team, mixed league, TGFBI draft recap and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?