Scott Boras is pushing this “MLB owners are in collusion” narrative, and what better way to push that agenda than have Mike Moustakas turn down a $17.4 million dollar qualifying offer from the Royals to re-sign with them for $6.5 million.  Boras is playing a long con here, and no one’s seeing it!  But I see it!  *takes index and middle finger and points at eyes, then points at picture of Boras*  You know who Mike Moustakas needed as his agent?  Regina King.  She is doggedly persistent.  Have you ever seen Regina King quit?  Oh hell no.  There’s no quit in that woman in every role she’s in.  If Scott Boras were married to Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry Maguire, Cuba would’ve signed for chump change, and never waited for his quan moment.  Moustakas needs to hire Regina King, stat!  So, I haven’t changed anything in my projection and ranking for Moustakas in my top 20 3rd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball with this re-signing, because that was the baseline I was projecting off of anyway.  Now to see if I can get Regina King to do my auction bidding for me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the post, there are a few RCL drafts this weekend that need you!  You as in you you.  Why are you looking over your shoulder?  I’m talking to you!  Sign up for a league, and if we don’t fill them, you’ll get your money back, but let’s assume they will be filled because you like to win some cash-money.  Yes, you you still!  Also, in those leagues are JayWrong and MattTruss, so you know the leagues will be talked about on the site.  Anyway, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My prior, uber, hard-line stance has been that you with that one hair wrapped around your head acting as a hairstyle don’t want to draft a sleeper 1st baseman.  By the by, I tried to replace Uber with Lyft in the previous sentence, but it didn’t make sense.  Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position.  Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year I could see drafting a sleeper first baseman, though at my corner infidel or utility slot.  Yes, I still want a top 1st baseman.  No, ‘utility slot’ doesn’t have multiple meanings.  Yes, even for fantasy.  As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted after the top 200 overall.  I love Rhys Hoskins, but he’s not going to appear here.  Dear, steer clear–*short circuiting internal rhyming dictionary*  Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

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Baseball, like a flower, blooms in the spring.  They also share equally effusive PR people.  Just the other day I read about how a petunia’s branches gained 15 pounds and was in the best shape of its life.  Sure, it’s always good to look at spring training numbers to give you an idea what you can expect from guys during the season — can I draft Ronald Acuna yet?!  Players in spring training are facing the top pitchers who are all displaying their best stuff.  No one needs time to get warmed up.  No one’s trying new pitches or getting a feel for the ball.  They are at the height of their game in the beginning of March.  Our former commissioner, Bud, once doffed his toupee and tried to have the World Series played in March.  Since these spring training numbers mean so much, I decided to look at some players stats so far:

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Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2018 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone.  I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers.  Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that years ago.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2018 projections.  This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2018 fantasy baseball.  Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Salvador Perez if they fall, but to get on this list, you need to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late.  Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

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Usually, as one does, I type with my fingers.  Hunt and peck with mostly the index’ers, but definitely fingers all the way.  I’m so pumped up going for the win this year I’m typing up this post with both fists.  WE MUST WIN!  BY WE I MEAN ME!  BY ME I MEAN I, IF “I” WAS SUPPOSED TO BE USED IN THAT SENTENCE INSTEAD OF ME; I DON’T KNOW, AND AM TOO HYPED UP TO LOOK INTO IT, IN FACT, THIS SENTENCE IS KINDA KILLING MY HYPE BY EVEN DISCUSSING GRAMMAR.  GRAMMAR BOO!  WINNING THIS LEAGUE YAY!  Actually using my fists is not enough.  I will now type up this post by banging my forehead on the keyboard.  ABCJIVS1I7$  Damn, that didn’t work so well.  Maybe I’ll try my nose.  Hekko, froend.  Ugh, that didn’t work either.  Okay, I’m gonna use my fingers again, but I’m just as pumped up.  RAWR!  Anyway, here’s my Yahoo Friends & Family team, it’s a 15-team, mixed league:

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This is not the only reason I think Josh Donaldson is overrated, but this is a fun one.  Surrounding Donaldson in the Jays lineup is–Sorry, I just started giggling uncontrollably.  Okay, okay, OKAY!  Get it together, Grey!  Surrounding–*giggle* Damn, it’s tough for me to get through this.  Okay…*talking fast*  Curtis Granderson, Justin Smoak, Kendrys Morales, Tulo, Yangervis, Devon Travis, Randal Grichuk and sometimes Y.  The Y in this case is spelled why and it’s Steve Pearce.  Yo, the Jays getting the Giants’ leftovers?  Brian Sabean would even shudder at this hodgepodge of harsh-my-mallows and be like, “Nah, kid, they’re on the wrong side of ugly.”  The Jays would be better off promoting every minor leaguer in their system whose last name starts with Guerr– and be done with it.  (There’s three of them, by the way.  I’m thinking the Jays might draft alphabetically.)  Their minor lea-Guerrs, so to speak.  Anyway, why is Josh Donaldson overrated for 2018 fantasy baseball?

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Sometimes you write a fantasy baseball overrated post and think, “Grey, you’re like Coolio but instead of Medusa braids, you got brains and such.”  Other times, you think, “You’re a Foolio who can’t even think of something to go with brains.  ‘And such?’  How about ‘dumb much?'”  With this Elvis Andrus overrated post, I legit don’t know if I’m being smart or stupid.  It feels smart, but maybe it’s a blindspot and I’m just being dumb.  It’s definitely not reassuring that I don’t know if I’m being smart or stupid by calling Elvis Andrus overrated.  Jerry Lee Lewis would definitely think it was smart, and might add in Elvis was also bloated.  “That Memphis porker grabbed my spotlight with his peanut butter-stained fingers and loosey-goosey hips.”  That was Jerry Lee Lewis at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame.  By the by, Jerry Lee Lewis is alive, and only 82 years old.  That is news to everyone.  Never the hoo, I’ve never seen a career year that I couldn’t squash and Andrus’s previous year is no different.  Anyway, why is Elvis Andrus overrated for 2018 fantasy baseball?

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Yup, I’m going for the stars of schmohawks this year.  What fun is it pussyfooting around saying some guys are overrated whom no one is drafting?  By the by, there’s millennials right now squinting at my use of pussyfooting, thinking, “That’s not a very woke word.  Can’t we make that word more cisgender, non-binary?  How about codpiecefooting?  Ken Doll’s groinfooting? An innie-on-the-no-no-touch-area-footing?”  However you want to get to that word is on you.  Or is it “howmever?”  Never the hoo!  Carlos Correa is the latest guy to get clowned and frowned on.  To get the sour candy face.  To get the head nod, then when I pass them, I fart.  All that’s left to draft in the first two rounds is Mike Trout and Jose Altuve.  Mea culpa, my Latin friends.  Ain’t how I drew it up originally, but the more I dug into the numbers it was where I ended up and…*bangs phone*  Why did Waze take me down a dead end?!  So, what can we expect from Carlos Correa for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

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*karate chops the air* HiiiiiiiiiiYA!  Chopping down overrated players with the quickness and I’ve set my sights on Tommy Pham.  Speaking of karate, you have to bow if your opponent bows, right?  So, I’d be a World Karate Champion by bowing non-stop with a sneak attack worked in.  They’d call me, Bowing Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and I’d be fierce.  *wavy lines signaling dream sequence*  I bow, opponent bows, I bow again and opponent knocks me out with one kick.  *wavy lines signaling end of dream sequence*  Damn, I can’t even make myself a karate champion in my dreams.  You know what?  I don’t need kay-ROT-té!  I have fantasy baseball!  However, what I don’t have on my fantasy baseball teams this year is Tommy Pham.  “Land mine, right ahead!”  That’s the remake of the Titanic after a nuclear holocaust and someone and someone accidentally merges the Titanic wiki page with Princess Di’s.  By the way, imagine watching Survivor after a nuclear war.  “Um, yeah, so they’re starving, so what?  So am I!”  Am I the only excited for the new season of Survivor?  Prolly, unless a time traveler from 2002 is reading this.  Any hoo!  I didn’t think I was gonna have to write this post, but I see some very smart fantasy baseball people being trip-wired by Pham, so I need to lift the haze.  Illuminate the love story in the genre-bending, The Crying Game, and make the world less Phambiguous.  Ignite a roadside flare in your brain.  So, what can we expect from Tommy Pham for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

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I know the consensus opinion of the worldwide web aka internet aka 4chan aka Russian bots on Twitter.  Saying Aaron Judge is overrated is not going to be a popular opinion.  I may as well go to a Kiwanis club on vet night and tell them they fought in The Great War so we could now have Lady Doritos, then tell them I refuse to eat Lady Doritos until we have non-binary Doritos.  “This Spicy Not-Ya-Sex chip is delicious.”  That’s me eating non-binary Doritos.   On the bright side, finally, we can do a baby reveal party with Doritos.  That would be as popular as calling Aaron Judge overrated.  Walking into a Korean spa and telling the owners I was there to check for hidden cameras would be greeted more enthusiastically.  Standing behind the counter at Chipotle, announcing there’s no more avocados, would be greeted more warmly.  Saying Aaron Judge is overrated is a real pickle.  However, for Christmas, I got a sous vide machine and I’ve made pickles every weekend for the last six weeks, so I drink up your pickle!  I drink it up!  Wow, that sounds very wrong.  Keeping with the recurring theme that wasn’t recurring until right now, Aaron Judge is butter pickles.  Could be sweet, but I don’t like sweet pickles.  I like them shizzes sour.  Then again, I’m sour on Judge, so I should be all right with him; I’m not, though.  So, why is Aaron Judge overrated and what can we expect from him for 2018 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?