The Orioles are calling up Jackson Holliday. To back up Ramon Urias? To work on fielding drills with Jorge Mateo? I don’t get it. He wasn’t ready 11 games ago, but he’s ready now? Hunh, weird stuff, right? So, Jackson Holliday is going to be a star. It’s been written since Matt’s bald head raised the baby from wife’s legs and exclaimed, “It’s a boy! Daddy’s 1-for-1!” I would pick up Holliday or go out and acquire him. He’s going to go from, “Meh, I guess he can be solid,” to “I NEED HIM ON MY FANTASY TEAM!” in about two milliseconds. My guess is you have two weeks before it goes to two millis. To read more, I gave you a Jackson Holliday fantasy back in October. Then, I was between Wyatt Langford and Holliday as the top rookie. So, now it’s a toss up. Think way back to March — roughly 11 days ago — when you drafted Wyatt Langford in the top 50 overall and Jackson Holliday was going around 220. Now? They’re even. Zoinks! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Corbin Burnes – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.93. Mr. Burnes was eggggggggcellent.
Trevor Story – Undergoing season-ending surgery on his dislocated shoulder. Feels like Story’s career is about to end. Big bummer, no relation to Aaron. As for the Sawx shortstop, David Hamilton will face righties, and run like crazy.
Nick Pivetta – Hit the IL with an elbow strain. It’s the SPocalypse! No one is safe! Hide your elbows! Put away your forearms! Wrap your shoulders in a blanket, put it in your car’s trunk and drive to the Hamptons, or wherever they were going in that Julia Roberts movie I was half-watching about the apocalypse. Leave the World Behind? Was that it? Yeah, that was terrible, like these pitcher injuries!
Tyler O’Neill – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer. Yes, I believe. Also, Coolwhip gave you his Tyler O’Neill fantasy in the preseason and his top 100 outfielders yesterday with O’Neill 24th. That feels conservative!
Brayan Bello – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.11. No idea when it clicks, but wanna see a guy who looks like his results should be much better? Watch Bello.
Spencer Arrighetti – Called up to join the Astros’ rotation. Said like Pedro Martinez, “I know Dave Righetti. I know spaghetti. But I don’t know Spencer Arrighetti.” Damn it, that cracks me up, and I don’t even care if anyone else gets it. That Pedro Martinez quote about Karim Garcia is the funniest sports quote of all-time, I’m sorry. I too enjoy Lawrence Taylor’s “My life’s in the toilet and no one’s flushing,” but c’mon! Any hoo! The Astros called up Spencer Arrighetti for today’s start. Marmos in one of his top 100 starters posts said, “Another young arm that was a ‘buzzy’ kind of name during spring training. Arrighetti is Houston’s #3 (overall) prospect and their top pitching arm of the future. He has three years of minor league experience and posted an 11.0+ K% in each stop until he reached AAA at the end of the year (8.72 K% in 64 AAA innings to finish 2023). He’s a four pitch starter that should get a shot at some point this summer.” Check out Marmos trying to steal Itch’s limelight! So, Framber might be in Done-Zo City, population: All MLB starters. Arrighetti’s command is gnarly and his fastball isn’t great, so, outside of AL-Only leagues, I’d wait and watch how he does. Lotta people think Arrighetti is just a penne arm.
Josiah Gray – Hit the IL with a forearm flexor strain. Living off borrowed time, the pitch clock tick faster…
CJ Abrams – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Corange Juice has surprising power. Well, surprising to other people. I’m not surprised by it. He’s basically Trea Turner with less chance for runs.
Kyle Harrison – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.76. It’s silly early to be looking at peripherals, but Harrison’s look good, but he’s got such a fly ball problem. Only reason why I even say this is because he had it last year too. It’s what they call at Dan Flashes, a pattern.
Sonny Gray – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “I figured if I moved my desk into the fountain in the main entrance lobby it was fine since I was technically still in the building.”
Nolan Gorman – 2-for-4 and his 3rd homer. Hey, pitcher, NoGo there!
Lenyn Sosa – 1-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI as he batted third. As Coolwhip said, Lenyn hitting 3rd is the most socialist propaganda in Chicago I’ve seen in a long time, and that’s saying something!
Michael Kopech – 2 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.45, and his 2nd save. Hey, I’m all good with it from a fantasy perspective, but two innings? Do they have to overuse his arm this much on a 100-loss team?
Josh Naylor – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Naylor because we’re married! Hmm, needs work.
Logan Allen – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.60. If you can’t handle the White Sox, you ain’t no friend of mine.
Joe Ross – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.80. Old heads just heard the Joe Ross music playing in their ears. Streamonator hates his next one, but I’d give him a whirl. He looked damn good in his first two starts; still love him; ten years later.
George Kirby – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 6.91. [sobbing loudly, singing off-key] Heaven isn’t too far away…closer to it every day…No matter–[honks nose] what my friends might say…we’ll find a way! Oh God, what is going on?! The problem with George Kirby can be summed up by: He never throws a ball outside the zone so hitters are just going loose lips sink Kirby’s ships. I think he’s a buy low.
Dominic Canzone – 1-for-2 and his 3rd homer, 2nd homer in three games. Hot schmotato alert!
Mitch Haniger – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Mitch don’t kill my vibe!
Bo Bichette – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Take that, BDon!
Chris Bassitt – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.06. Can he tell Kirby how to fix himself? Can anyone?
Chad Green – 1 1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.18, and his 2nd save. If my choice were Chad Green or Yimi Garcia, I’d choose Green too.
Randal Grichuk – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. I honestly forgot he existed. Jean-Paul Sarchuk, “Human life begins after a long homer.”
Corbin Carroll – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. The odds that he would hit a homer and not slam and legs is 1 in 350 (I’m a mathematician).
Mike Trout – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, and 12th homer in two games and 27th homer this week. He has eight RBIs and six homers. In related news, the Angels two best batting average hitters are hitting 8th and 9th.
Isaac Paredes – 2-for-3 and his 4th homer. Too bad no one told you to draft him–Wait a minute! I did! Well, I’ll be!
James Outman – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd in as many games. Whatever! We moved on already! He didn’t do anything in the first 3.5% of the season!
Tyler Glasnow – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.25. The one pitcher who stays healthy this year? The guy who’s never healthy!
Will Smith – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Glad to see him no longer trying to save games.
Louie Varland – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 9.00. Every pitcher who seemed good in the preseason? Yeah, they aren’t good. Every pitcher who seemed great? They’re hurt.
Alex Kirilloff – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer, as he hits third. He’s hitting .355 and should likely be owned in all leagues. A friendly Cust kayin’.
Carlos Correa – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. After ten years of saying Correa is overrated, I think he might actually be underrated now.
Shea Langeliers – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd, 3rd and 4th homer. It’s Citifield Langeliers now. Get with the program, doode.
Nathan Eovaldi – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.45. But you had to draft Spencer Strider.
Jose Leclerc – 1 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 14.40, and his 1st blown save. He’s Lecooked. I’d grab Kirby Yates, but it could be David Robertson. It should not be Leclerc.
Evan Carter – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer, as he hits 8th, and .182. I’ve been hesitant about putting batting averages in the blurbs yet, because it’s so early. .182 from Evan Carter though? Jimmy Carter’s showing more life, and he’s been in hospice for 14 months.
Cristian Javier – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.10. Saberhagenmetrics strike again!
Reynaldo Lopez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 0.75. If at any point in the last 12 months, you were in the bullpen? You are now an ace.
Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Albombso!
Joe Musgrove – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.87. More like Joe must go! Dusted his ass!
Christopher Morel – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Even better, I moved him into the 3rd base slot on my team, and finally rid myself of Rengifo! RenGTFO!
A.J. Puk – 4 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 2 Ks, ERA at 5.91. Wish I could say Puk looked less puke-y, but alas. Can’t find the broad side of a barn if he were a hoe.
Carlos Rodon – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.72. Was a pretty easy matchup, per the Streamonator, and he didn’t disappoint.
Casey Mize – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.82. It’s so disheartening when you see a guy get talked up (Mize) and throw well (Mize) and get out-pitched by a very mediocre pitcher:
Martin Perez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.89. Wouldn’t even use the Streamonator for him and he outpitched Casey Mize. Fantasy baseball is so freakin’ frustrating.
David Bednar – 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 12.46. [dons pitching coach hat] His back is prolly bothering him because he’s not finishing any pitches. I looked for Aroldis in all my leagues. This feels like a 30-day IL stint for Bednar, incoming.
Edward Olivares – 2-for-4 and his 2nd and 3rd homer. Edward Olivares hit two homers and they didn’t even let him finish the game! Not sure what it is about Olivares but whenever he homers, he’s then benched for five of the next seven games. So, if he’s homered twice in one game, then he will be benched eight of the next twelve games. Shame. Stop touching up the boys, Captain EO!
