by: Grey
Another top prospect was called up, this one was also the star of Webster and used to dunk on Gary Coleman, his name is Emmanuel Lewis. Dick Butkus was his dad and he burned down a house. Let’s hear it for the boy, who is actually a 49-year-old man pretending to be a seven-year-old! [intern […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Connor Norby aka Con-Nor is again the Rockies pulling a fast one on an unsuspecting trade partner. Here’s the Rockies’ front office, “Who will we tantalizingly ruse this time? The Marlins? Okay, watch this,” then they do a move that you’re just left to wonder, “Are the Rockies so insanely dumb that they’re smart?” It’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Cubs got three touchdowns yesterday and a safety off the Padres. Speaking of which, our fantasy football content is beginning to start rocking and/or rolling, or maybe that’s rumbling and tumbling. Look at Grey pretending to know anything about football! Stop me if you’ve heard this before Dansby Swanson–stopped. Sorry, that’s it! Don’t say anymore! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I don’t listen to Bill Simmons’s podcast and haven’t read anything by him in 20 years, but Reggie Cleveland All-Stars was a top tier, Everest summit contribution to the discourse. For those unfamiliar, the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars are white guys with a Black name. Blaze Alexander is a Reggie Cleveland All-Star. Blazer Alexander? That’s a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Hello Sharks! Every Mother’s Day, MLB wheels out there some pink bats. Well, this year I have something for the gentlemen on Father’s Day!” [reveals two rosin bags tied to the knob of a baseball bat, dangling, a quick succession of “I’m out”] “So, you don’t want to see my heated ice cream scooper that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I did this to myself. I made fun of Walker Buehler and Dustin May yesterday. An off-the-cuff goof saying, “The resurgence of Buehler and Dustin May is one of the more interesting developments this year. It’s officially ranked 15,670th on the interesting development list, right after Troy Johnston has two T’s in his name. It’s not Troy Johnson. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The Tigers are pound-for-pound a mess, and that is embodied by Colt Keith (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs), as he had a slam (1) and legs (3). First home run and 3rd steal feels kinda unreal. On the Player Rater, we have how much value a player has had over the course of the season […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Royce Lewis sent to Triple-A. Hmm, let’s see the Twins’ top hitting prospects of the last few years: Luke Keaschall, Brooks Lee, Christian Encarnacion-Strand, Matt Wallner, Spencer Steer, Edouard Julien, Drew Gilbert, Trevor Larnach, Royce Lewis, Jose Miranda, Ben Rortvedt, and Redfin Smart Shopper, Alex Kirilloff. Quite the track record. It just so happens that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’m only half Jewish — as Henry Hill would say, the good half — but I heard Cade Cavalli went 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.82, and I started Cade Kvelling. Who is this, do we know his mishpocha? Can we send them some macaroons? Are they allergic to coconut? […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I should probably listen to the last three months of our Cards & Categories podcast with Jeremy and Mike and their Noah Schultz content to get a better handle here. [does just that] Wow, I should’ve paused at some point, I really have to pee. So, the boys loved Noah Schultz a lot. This is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Unless I’m misunderstanding Easter and the greatest story ever told, there’s a strong indication that Hunter Brown is not Him. As I understand it, Jesus gets his boys blotto on his blood that’s wine — imagine going wine tasting and being like, “This wine tastes irony.” “Like it’s dramatically contrasted to the opposite of what’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The year is 2045. All the years after 2038 have been a blur because, seven years prior, I was hit by a flying car, and now my frozen head is in a jar, and the visibility is very poor through formaldehyde. Something no one talks about! “Hey, Charlie, how well can you see in that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?