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Yesterday, Jarred Kelenic (2-for-4) hit his 3rd homer in three games. Sonavabench x 3! Incredible! This is shaping up to be the worst sonavabenching in the history of sonavabenchings. Kelenic does something for the first time in three years and he’s on my bench! Why is this my life? This home run went 482 feet! That’s almost 147 meters! That’s the longest homer in Wrigley in the Statcast era. Could the breakout be happening? Is this the gorgeous we were once promised? Is this like watching the plastic bag in American Beauty? To me, it’s slightly comical that Jarred Kelenic is being labeled as “THE BREAKOUT IS HERE” while in the exact same game Cody Bellinger (2-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd home run and it’s like, “Meh, whatever. He can eat a D.” For those who are thinking, “Yeah, okay, you’re handsome and all, but Kelenic is hitting .351 and Cody Bellinger is hitting .238.” Kelenic is hitting .351 in 37 ABs. Difference between him and Cody is about four hits. He has a 44% Whiff rate on breaking pitches, and a 40% whiff rate on offspeed pitches. I want the Kelenic breakout as much as anyone (hopefully it can start next Monday, though), just trying to put an ounce of realism here in our fantasy. Like when Penelope Cruz is still bored in your dreams when you talk about your fantasy teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?