What is up everybody!? It’s the pre-season reunion here at Razzball, and we’re coming back strong as ever to deliver you the hottest takes, the slippery-est snakes, and a crap-ton of Grey’s quality bakes. What? The guy likes to bake! But for cereal, if Grey ever offers to send you bear claws, don’t take him up on it! The Chinese authorities have been all over me after Grey mailed me a package of ursine talons. ENYWHEY. I’ll repeat this again when we’ve moved from January Grey into March Grey, which is not to be confused with the Greymarch for all you Elder Scrolls fans: Yours truly has taken on an editorial role across the baseball and football sides of Razzball. What does that mean? It means my deadly red cursor of editorial prowess will grace these digital articles for the foreseeable future, which is pretty foggy right now admittedly. Thanks be to Grey and Rudy and Donkey Teeth for entrusting me with the “Schedule” button, and I hope to introduce you to some solid new writers while welcoming the familiar Razzball crew that you know and love and definitely wouldn’t want to see star in Bridgerton. While we collectively wait for the start of the 2021 MLB season, let’s gather for some pre-season hype pieces and get ready for drafts.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Corbin Burnes to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
All the final 2020 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters are done. For those that skipped today’s title, this starts the top 20 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball. This is NOT for next year (caps for those who can’t read titles; supposedly it’s easier to read caps, I have my doubts). This is a recap. Will these affect next year’s rankings? Sure. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. Not entirely. Entirely. Like when you had a knee replacement, this is a recap! To recapitulate the recap, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. We’re (me’re) using it to fairly gauge our (my) preseason rankings. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s up, Razzballers? Hope playoff baseball is treating you well, and if you’re in any playoff pools like I am, hope they’re treating you well, as well!
Well. What a wild season of fantasy baseball we had, eh? I’m not a super high-stakes type of fantasy baller – I did two Yahoo public leagues mainly because drafts are so easy to join and get through quickly (I won both!), my home keeper auction league (which moved to roto for this year and I got 2nd after being two-time defending champ *sad emoji*), and then the RazzSlam. I got really lucky in the Slam, not suffering a lot of COVID-ness or injury. Finished second in my league and #46 overall. Not too shabby for my first industry league endeavor! Just want to thank Grey, Donkey and others, but mostly of all, you. You’ve made me feel so welcome. Hey, watch me make like a tree’s sap and get sappy!
Anywayyyyy, I bring up my own leagues because a large part of my success came down to waiver wire wizardry. Well, RazzSlam not so much (waivers are limited there), but my final rosters in the other three leagues looked a lot different from Opening Day. That’s always the case in fantasy sports, of course, but this year especially so in baseball.
I thought a fun exercise would be to go back and honor those who were league winners for a lot of you. What better way to honor real players than with fake All-Star selections?! I’m gonna take a standard lineup of C/1B/2B/3B/SS/OF/OF/OF/UT/UT/SP/SP/RP/RP/P/P/P/P and fill it with the best that the 2020 waiver wire had to offer. In most leagues, most of these guys were drafted late or not at all. Of course in deeper leagues maybe all of them were drafted at some point, but in standard 12-team leagues, almost all of these guys came off the wire.
Without further ado, let’s do it to it!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey all! It’s Blair, your 2020 Top 100 starting pitcher ranker. Glad you came along for the ride! Your fantasy season is over now, and hopefully you won the championship, or you made a dent in your dynasty league, or you just managed to stay a bit saner in the depths of the pandemic that’s been clawing away at us for the past six months.
Let’s get the business side out of the way first: if you like what I did with [waves hands around] this series, hop on over to the subscription page and get an ad-free subscription to support me and Grey and Lauren Holt and Coolwhip and MattTruss and JKJ and, and, and. If you’re not in a place to grab a subscription, then tell your friends about us, or share Razzball content on social media, or, well, just say thank you in the comments and I’ll give you a virtual high five.
Since there’s no longer traditional fantasy baseball going on right now, my weekly series at Razzball is more or less done until spring training. If you want my advice on DFS or dynasty leagues or whatever, feel free to ping me on Twitter, or leave a comment at the bottom of this page, or ask one of the many other talented writers here on Razzball what their opinion of your situation is. Otherwise, I’ll provide some updates on player profiles throughout the winter and I hope you keep coming around to check them out.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m freshly back from The Hotties, which is the annual Razzball award ceremony for the “hottest taeks” in fantasy baseball. With the sharp-toothed piranhavirus in full swing, Grey called for a “Mask-erade” ball, but the Eventbrite invitation auto-corrected it to a “masquerade” ball. Everybody showed up with the wrong parts of their face covered. I thought Grey would be upset but he seemed to take everything in stride, saying that he had been waiting for this day since “Eyes Wide Shut” was released. Is that a movie or a novel or a contact delivery service? Anyway, Grey started giggle-whispering “Fidelio!” at everybody. Hey, Grey, I get it. Fidel Castro liked baseball. Let’s get with the times!
I did manage to record Grey’s speech to all the writers and Instagram models who attended. Here’s the transcript if you want to read it:
“I’ll get right to the point: I’m proud to announce a new partnership between Razzball and the San Diego Padres. 2021 will be known as STAN DIEGO around here, and all hot taeks will involve Padres players. The top 10 pitchers? Lamet, Davis, Clevinger, and Paddack [audible hissing from the crowd]. The top 10 hitters? Tatis, Machado, Grisham, and Myers. Trevor Rosenthal is a top 30 pick. You will all write sleeper articles on Joey Lucchesi, Adrian Morejon, and yes, Eric Hosmer. [pause while Grey dodges thrown masks] Fear not, for STAN DIEGO comes with perks! You will all get a free hot dog with a purchase of an annual pass to Sea World, and you’ll get a personal tour of the tiger enclosure at the San Diego Zoo. Now, writers, start hyping Jake Cronenworth!”
At that point, all the people Grey whispered “Fidelio” to disappeared into Grey’s private grotto, which he named “50 Shades of Play” because of the underwater mini-golf course he installed. Myself? I was left standing in the foyer with a mysterious note that only said, “MacKenzie Gore, 2021 hot taek.”Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Ask not what your fantasy team’s pitchers can do for you, but what you can do for your fantasy team pitchers.” The number one thing you can do is have your fantasy team page open and curse and scream whenever a reliever comes into the game in a non-save shituation and gives up runs, or when you have a pitcher give up five-plus in under five innings, or when you bench a guy who throws a gem. That’s the least you can do for your country and your team. Yesterday, the Kennedy curse lifted, and Jack and Joe did you right: Joe Musgrove (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.68) vs. Jack Flaherty (6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.84). In 2021, Jack Flaherty could be underrated. Imagine he’s not a top five starter next year, because of one bad start. Sign me up for some of that nonsense. Joe Musgrove is a trickier proposition such as, “I’ll do whatever for $50.” Wait, that’s a trick’s proposition. Since Musgrove’s IL stint, his fastball velocity wasn’t quite there, but yesterday saw him touch 95 MPH, and his slider was working for him. For 2021, I could see getting sucked in again by Musgrove, which inevitably will leave me mumbling, “Era, era, my ERA is a mess.” That’s JFK struggling to the finish line of a fantasy season, like all of us. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Keep on go on wondering why, I got out of bed at all,” which are the lyrics for Thank You by Dido, which was the chorus for Stan by Eminem, and I want to thank you, Kwang-Hyun Kim (7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 0.63) as he was activated from the IL after having kidney problems, and to misquote Eminem, “I Stan Kim.” Actually, here’s Eminem singing The Golden Girls theme song, “Stan Kim for pitching a gem.” Eminem is a big Golden Girls fan, obvi. Any hoo! What a year by Kim, whoa. He has 24 consecutive scoreless innings, and has allowed only one home run all year. Granted, he’s only thrown 28 2/3 IP all year, has allowed only two earned runs all year, and that’s less than a month of a regular season. But, wow, what a year! We’ll leave it at that. Will Eminem, or us for that matter, be singing The Golden Girls theme song, “Stan Kim for pitching a gem” in 2021? That seems less likely. His peripherals are not particularly inspiring, but for this year *genuflects* Stan Kim, Stan Kim, Stan Kim. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hard to believe, but my first season as a baseball analyst here at Razzball is almost at an end! For athletes, that means they’re leaving the bubble soon. Us fantasy writers? We’re all bubbled-up to protect from the dreaded Piranhavirus. Oh, you don’t know what that is? See, we’re so forward thinking here at Razzball, we’re already sequestered away for the next pandemic. You may be asking, “How does the Razzbubble work?” Well, future victims of piranhas, let me show you my notes from earlier this summer when I bubbled up.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matthew Boyd (3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 7.63) is the ultimate poison pill. If I could, I’d hack into my opponent’s team and put Boyd on their team, and the crazy thing is they’d prolly thank me because there are a lot of FanBoydz out there who think he’s somehow worth owning. Sorry, not just worth owning, but people actively want him. It’s a sickness, FanBoydosis. People affected with FanBoydosis, aka FanBoydz, want you to believe there is so much more here. Oh, there could be, but he needs to stop allowing home runs. He goes from an ace to an Ace of Clubbed from start to start with no consistency, but that K/BB is so tantalizing–Hold up! I’ve been afflicted by FanBoydosis. I’m 250 words into a post about the Brewers and Corbin Burnes (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.99), talking about Boyd. Not sure what they feed the Brewers’ pitchers — hops? — but Burnes is now throwing his fastball 96 MPH, up from 95, and has completely changed his pitch mix (slider and fastball way less with a cutter and change added). He was essentially a two-pitch pitcher, and now throws four. His 12.7 K/9, 3.8 BB/9 is giving me the feels that I thought I’d get from Woodruff. Is Burnes a number one? Time will tell, but he has the makings. Also, in this game, Jedd Gyorko (2-for-5, and his 6th and 7th homer) went double dong like Jennifer Connelly, and I don’t even want to look at the Player Rater to see how much higher Gyorko is than a bunch of guys who I own. My mental health isn’t worth it. I get it, it’s not Jedd; I’m the Gyorko. Next up, Jacob Nottingham (1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd homer. Fun fact! Nottingham was the not very successful spin-off to Mountcastle. Now Orlando Arcia (4-for-6, 3 runs) didn’t homer, but four-hit games from Orlando gives Florida Man a good name. Over to Ryan Braun (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) who hit his 3rd homer. Have I mentioned the Brewers scored 19 runs? Flavor Flav through sobs, “Yeah, Boyd.” Finally, Tyrone Taylor (4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 1st major league homer. He looks like a Quad-A prospect and sounds like a silent film star. Tyrone Taylor Chaplin-steps into frame, motions that his pockets and skills are empty, then a silent film title card reads, “What about Matthew Boyd?” Not you too, Tyrone! Well, with 19 runs scored, at least I have Keston Hiura. He went 0-for-2 without a run scored?Holy ticker tease! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the highly lucrative industry that is imaginary sports team management, we here at Razzball are always looking to give you readers the sharpest edge of advantage. I mean, how do we keep up with a provider like Pitching Ninja, whose name literally invokes the finely-honed edges of a ninja star slicing through bats before landing softly in the supple leather of a catchers mitt? Fear not, fearful reader! I have been to cram school, and I have been to Austria, and I have been in dungeons, and I combined all of my knowledge of those places and completely threw it out the window. See, to be sharper than sharp, you gotta think outside the box. When the competition goes sharp, you go — that’s right! — blocky. I present to you, followers of the Top 100 Starting Pitcher series, the latest in pitching analysis: 8-bit graphics.
Let’s apply this newfangled technology to our top starting pitchers and see what we can do to help you to fantasy glory!Please, blog, may I have some more?