*spraypaints Foltynewicz incorrectly on the bumper of my car* “Okay, Cougs, now back this car up over my head. Why are you arguing with me? I see the way you look at me when I burp in public, just back the damn car up over my head! I’m looking for a visual metaphor here!” So, how was your Monday? Mine was just terrific! Not as terrific as Ryan Borucki, apizzarently. On my tombstone it’s going to read, “He died from a miserable September in his fantasy leagues, of course. Dur.” I mean, Jesus Aguilar Christmas Effin’ Christ, what in the holy name! Okay, okay, OKAY! Back to Borucki. Yesterday, he went 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.86, which is a helluva lot better than Faultywhichwhich! Borucki’s K-rate (6.1), his walk rate (2.8) and his 4.57 xFIP leave piles and piles to be desired. However (throw out everything Grey just said!), the Stream-o-Nator does like his next start a teensiest bit, and I could see streaming him. “Now back up the car!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Joe Musgrove to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Here we are, the penultimate Monday edition of Razzball does Draft. But don’t let that get you down — look on the bright side. We’ve still got two more weeks, and the pennant races mean we get some of the best baseball yet.
Taking on the Rangers puts a pitcher in a favorable spot. Texas has been known to whiff on many occasions, which is always good for fantasy. With Tyler Glasnow, the strikeout potential is always there, and I love it. He has a top-prospect pedigree and is finally getting a chance to stretch his legs and show what he can do with the Rays. That makes Glasnow my favorite value pitcher to turn in a winning performance and fill up your glass.
New to Draft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Daydream Bieber is a homecoming KEEEEEEN-ing-ing-ing-iiiiing. If you could’ve heard that in my head, you’d be like, “Damn, Grey’s got some pipes!” I think I might be tone deaf. Is there anyway to know for sure? Because I hear myself and I sound fine, and then I hear Jennifer Hudson and I’m like, “I sound like her in my head.” Is that tone deaf? My dog, Ted, is colorblind. In other words, Ted doesn’t discriminate. Therefore, maybe tone deaf is the perfect set of ears because it doesn’t discriminate sounds. Also, do you think my dog translates everything I say into barks? I’m a curious person probably why I’m off the Mensa scale — or Womensa scale or non-binarysa scale. Any hoosies! Shane Bieber threw 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks yesterday and dazzled again, though some of those dazzlers were mixed in with frowny faces — sad-dazzlers? Sadazzlers? Frownedazzlers? Trapped myself into a portmanteau loop and there’s no way out! I’d use the Stream-o-Nator for his upcoming starts, but for 2019 there’s very little to be pessimistic about with Bieber. His 9.6 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.24 xFIP are things of beauty. If he can do that in 2019, Bieber could easily back himself into a top 40 starter season and a fantasy number three with flashes of two. I’m down for that even if there’s some frownedazzlers mixed in! Sadazzlers? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“That guy does not look familiar.” “Which guy?” “That guy on the mound.” “The Wade Miley fella?” “Yeah.” “Did he used to serve us coffee at The Blue Danube?” “I don’t think so. That guy’s name was Ronnie. And he had dreads.” “But he was white.” “Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads. He looked like he had a smelly undercarriage.” “I don’t disagree. So… This guy… This Wade Miley guy… He just looks so unfamiliar. He just threw a 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks start against the Cubs with a 2.12 ERA. Do you know him?” “No, but ever since we were talking about a white guy with dreads I’ve wanted to sing Informer by Snow.” Wade Miley as an ace and Bumble profiles that read, “5′ 7″, 120 lbs., fitness model who loves cooking and cleaning and sex” are often very similar. Expectations and reality don’t always run hand in hand. Before picking up Miley, do me one favor. Ask Edwin Jackson owners how the experience was owning him. Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you. Those bastards! Maybe you can ask Jackson yourself since he’s probably on waivers. Can Miley be lights out? I suppose, there’s not much time left, but there’s nothing jumping out that says he’s suddenly a Cy Young contender. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
MLB DFS in September is rather similar to beach towns in September: the Shoobies are gone, but the temperature is just right. It’s a feeling that Don Henley captured perfectly in his minor chord opus, “The Boys of Summer.” With the impending NFL season, some players may have stopped playing MLB on Draft.com. That doesn’t mean there aren’t contests to be won; contests you can get a leg up in by digging deep with guys like Eric Young, Jr.
New to Draft.com? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Guess I pointed you to the wrong White Sox prospect in Friday’s Buy. Hahaha, no. I didn’t. I pointed you to a top hitting prospect that can help you this year. Michael Kopech is a rookie pitcher. A boneheaded one. He used to date the daughter of the crazy white lady from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, then he started that girl from Riverdale, and I guess when I say Kopech is boneheaded, I should explain I wouldn’t mind boneheading like him. Yo dude is a baller! He’s also legit dopey. At one point, he broke his hand by punching his teammate. This guy has years of ridiculousness headed our way, and we should be grateful for that. As grateful because he’s the top pitching prospect on Prospect Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects, and PR’s said, “Kopech is in my opinion the top ‘fantasy baseball’ pitching prospect in the game. What I mean by that is, on, say, a mainstream list (see: BA, BP, BABP, Fangraphs, etc.) they’ll focus more on the risk vs. upside balance. Me, I’m going upside, as you always should with pitching prospects in fantasy. Kopech has the potential to lead MLB in strikeouts one day, with his plus-plus triple digit fastball that runs in on righties, a plus slider that flashes plus-plus at times, and an improving changeup. Kopech has all-world stuff, unlike Grey who has all-stupid stuff.” What the hell, brah?! Real world comparison, Kopech is Syndergaard with command issues right now, but those could clear up quickly; he’s only 22. He’s a grab in all leagues, but as I said in the opening, rookie pitchers provide headaches, so expectations in Czech. (Damn, should’ve never bought that discounted Siri.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to point out our fantasy football leagues are currently signing up, you have a one in three shot of winning $250 (odds may vary depending on if you’re calculating odds correctly.) Anyway II, the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clearly, there’s a major issue here. The issue revolves around a few Buys this week. They are Mark Trumbo, Tim Beckham, Jonathan Villar and Trey Mancini. Any guesses their connection? No, they don’t all wear a bear costume during the offseason for bachelorette parties. I mean, they could, but no. I don’t think so. Their connection and the issue can be summed in this question, is the entire Orioles lineup really hot or have they just faced garbage pitching for the last week? I’d give you the answer, but I’d have to kill you, and I don’t know your address. I guess I have your IP, but is it roaming? VPN? Am I really traveling around to kill you when I could just not tell you the answer? That is the other choice here, right? Such a dilemma! Let me sleep on it. *pulls Murphy bed out of wall, lies down, Murphy bed flies up and traps me* Muffled screams, “Mark Trumbo has been the hottest hitter in the league! If you need power, I’d grab him in all leagues! Also, can you pull down this freakin’ bed?!” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lance Lynn had to shave his beard to play for the Yankees, because the Yankees are fascists. I wish Giancarlo would grow a mustache as giant FU. What, are they going to bench him until he shaves? Actually, Giancarlo should carve an F and a U in both of his sideburns. That would be such a 1970’s move. You could see Willie Stargell, high as a kite, being like, “Carve, ‘Down with Whitey’ in my sideburns.” Little did we know a clean-shaven Lynn would be an all-new pitcher, throwing 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, ERA at 4.58. Prior to the trade, here’s the Twins pitching coach talking to the bullpen catcher, “Do you think Lynn might be dragging his right side a little bit because of all that facial hair?” “I don’t know, but Sasquatches have been deemed the new sexy ‘It Thing,’ so who’s to argue?” Yesterday, we saw more of Lynn (literally and figuratively) of what made him a solid starter in St. Louis for many years. His season numbers are still garbage but, if nothing else, the Stream-o-Nator loves his next start. If he can command his pitches, he could have a solid final seven weeks. It’s all about The Art of Shaving two walks off his rate. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I try to avoid repeating ledes during the season and Sean Newcomb already had one. There I said, “It’s 2074, Grey Albright’s frozen head is on a shelf next to Ted Williams’ frozen head…I took a picture of Ted’s penis…I’m so romantic!” Damn, I pull quotes almost as well as I dispense fantasy baseball advice! By the way, I watched the Ted Williams special on PBS this weekend. Biggest surprise (to me), he was Mexican. He was the original Fernandomania — Teodoromania? When I searched Ted Williams and his Mom, that dominated the search results and who are we to question Google? So, Sean Newcomb ended the game one out from a no hitter against the Dodgers, one of the best offense teams — 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.23. I pulled the reins on Newcomb in the last few weeks because his peripherals are garbage and I’m only happy when I’m pulling reins. His velocity is down, his 8.3 K/9, 4.3 BB/9 and 4.32 xFIP are not telling the whole story, but they’re telling enough of the story while sitting around a campfire farting. Then on Sunday, he threw 134 pitches. I’m all for hypnotizing pitchers into thinking they’re Walter Johnson, but he had never pitched more than 111 pitches in the majors. Solid game on Sunday, but if you grab Newcomb he could leave a mushroom cloud in his wake, and not as in an umami bomb. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Michael Conforto is a Buy. A Mets hitter. Long pause. Hearing Dominick the Donkey on the radio. Realizing that pause was until Christmas. “Hey, chingedy ching, hee haw, hee haw. It’s Conforto, the fantasy baseball Buy donkey. The Italian Christmas Fantasy Baseball Buy Donkey. He plays for the Mets and you know what this means? The label on the inside of his uni says they’re made in Queens.” In the beginning of the season, Conforto looked like he was working with three-quarters of his ability. So, who’s he, Confor? Julius Caesar never came, saw and Confor’d, right? The lawyers didn’t Confor with the judge before sentencing Conforto to three months of terrible hitting. Confor the lousy hitting, stay for the fear of success? Yes, but no. What I think we’re going to hear this offseason is Conforto is going to say the first few months of the season, his shoulder was still bothering him, but, by the 2nd half, that started to ease. On our last 7 day Player Rater, Conforto is top 15, and could be in store for a solid 2nd half if his injury is finally healed. Now get the Italian Christmas Fantasy Baseball Buy Donkey! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?