Please see our player page for Mitch Haniger to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

They say New Jersey can only be appreciated by people from New Jersey, which seems stupid. Where else can you get your ass beat over a sub while meeting the love of your life in a Wawa parking lot? Where else can you say you’re from New York when you’re from New Jersey? Where else can you win loose Newports in a boardwalk claw machine? Is there anywhere else you can simply lower the window to hide the smell of a fart? I think not!  Similarly, maybe you have to own Eugenio Suarez (3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 43rd and 44th homer, hitting .269), to appreciate him, but I just dug in on him, and there’s some concerning stats for 2020. His HR/FB% is goofy high, even though he’s hitting the ball less hard and more in the air. That’s a recipe for a plummeting batting average, and the skyrocketing Ks won’t help. His exit velocity is that of Amed Rosario; his average feet per homer is Piscottish (totally a word) and not Soleresque. The ball dripping of juice could fix all of this, but Suarez looks a lot more like a 32-homer, .255 hitter vs. this new incarnation.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball says that if I put a baseball card of a player I own in a Dreamcatcher and put the Dreamcatcher under my pillow while I’m sleeping then *gulps* then the Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball will come in the middle of the night and give my player a Quality Start.  So…*bashfully looks down*..I put Chris Paddack‘s baseball card under my pillow and I’VE BEEN A GOOD BOY!  Holy Hayzeus Lazarus and Pontius, Inventor of Pilates, I had a good start! Yesterday, Chris Paddack went 7 2/3 IP, 1 hit, 1 walk, 1 ER and 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.70.  Please throw 170 more innings this year!  “Don’t be greedy,” interrupts Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball.  “Hey, Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball, you sound like a spot remover.”  “Just for that, I’m pushing Marquez back so he starts at Coors next!  Muahahaha!”  So, Paddack had a great start, which tacks onto his season of more-than-we-could’ve-hoped-for.  He currently ranks 25th for xFIP; 23rd for K/9 and 13th for walk rate.  And he’s in Petco for his home starts!  Happy to be the Mohel at his Star Mitzvah.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s been a few weeks since I ranked the top 100 fantasy hitters and a lot has changed! Stranger Things season 3 has dropped, Josh Bell broke the record for most extra-base hits in the first half of an NL season, my wife had our first child, and Giancarlo Stanton got injured and hit the DL! Only one of those is the real reason I haven’t written an article in a while and yea, maybe I took Stanton getting hurt too personally.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At least one of you is reading this with a bandaged thumb from a fireworks mishap. I had a Cousin Pete (Italian side of the family) who lost the tip of his thumb on the 4th, but rather than stop the festivities, he taped the tip of a hot dog on his thumb to act as a tourniquet for the rest of the 4th, so we could all go about our fun-having business. I suggested my Cugino make a PSA about hot dog tourniquets, but I was turned away by NBC Cares. Let us bow our heads and pray that if anyone loses a finger, may there be a proper-sized hot dog nearby.  Okay…*claps hands* Play ball!  Yesterday, Matthew Boyd went 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (zero walks), 13 Ks, ERA at 3.87.  Flavor Flav secures his giant clock to his chest with one hand and pumps his fist with his other hand, “Yeah Boyd!”  Boyd was the 1st pitcher with less than 6 IP, zero walks and 13 or more Ks.  You kinda have to get hit around a bit to have that record, but, damn, that’s impressive.  Let’s hear it for the Boyd, let’s hear it for the…MATT!  See what I did there? No one saw that coming!  Not a soul!  Boyd is one of the few guys in the entire major leagues who is pitching better than his ERA would indicate.  I’m kidding, everyone’s ERA is crap!  But Boyd’s been very special — 11.9 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.33 xFIP — and is looking like a solid number two with upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There are those who would call for Yordan Alvarez to be a top-50 player already. With 27 combined HRs this season and 78! 78! 78! RBI in 60 games between AAA and the big leagues — I get that. I’m just a little hesitant due to his playing time. When George Springer comes back and the rest of the Astros get healthy will he stay up? I hope so because he is crushing the ball right now — but he has minor league options left and is still only a 22-year-old kid. Age is just a number though as this kid’s potential has MVP written all over it in one of the best lineups in baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Super Duper!

Mitch Haniger, OF, Oh God: *Vomits uncontrollably* *Still* Replacement: Who does this white bread Garrett Cooper (7.2%) kid think he is anyway? Well dating back to May 15th he has 28 hits, 19 runs, 5 HRs, 16 RBI in 86 ABs. He’s firmly entrenched as the Marlins #2 hitter right now and is really making the most of it. He’s not some spring chicken either — he’s a 28-year-old career minor leaguer who has always had a solid hit tool hitting .305 AVG/.371 OBP across 1,640 minor league ABs. He has 15-20 HR power, absolutely no speed (think: negative stolen bases somehow,) but he’s a great fill-in option who isn’t going to kill your ratios.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, I did it. I removed Jose Ramirez from my top 100 hitters rankings. He played another 5 games and only managed 2 hits. 2 runs? Sure. 4 RBI? Sure. 1 SB? Sure. But when he is hurting you this bad he is permanently in the limbo that is ranking #101. I am fully prepared to rocket him up the rankings if he turns it around — but right now? He is the wonderful 101.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Zach Plesac was on the attack again Friday night holding the New York Yankees to just two earned runs on six hits in seven innings, he walked one and struck out five for his first career win. All this coming after another seven inning one-run gem last week in Chicago where he struck out seven. I’ve now learned to have blind faith in whatever young starting pitching prospect Cleveland brings up. Zach is now rocking a 1.86 ERA, 0.88 WHIP and a 14/3 K/BB through his first three starts, two of which came against fairly potent lineups (Boston and NY). Yep, I’ve seen all I need to see here. Where do I sign? I want to own the next Bieber/Clevinger before anyone else gets wind of this. Fun fact!  Zach’s uncle Dan also won his first start against the Yankees in 1986 and even lost his first against White Sox! How cool is tha-ZZZZ. I mean, way cool! In nine starts in AA/AAA this year, Plesac was 4-1 with a 1.41 ERA, 0.78 WHIP and 56/7 K/BB! Uhh, yes please! Batters hit just .185 against him. So this isn’t exactly coming from nowhere. Sure, he has a bit of a limited arsenal which could catch up to him his second time through the league, but for now it’s all hands on deck. Uncle Dan gives him his full endorsement! He gets the weak Cincinnati Reds line up next week and I’d own him wherever I needed starting pitching help.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week here’s what I said about Austin Riley: “A lot of people were calling for Austin Riley to make his rankings debut after hitting 5 HRs in his first 9 games, but I’m a little wary of rookies. Especially rookies who have a 15:2 K/BB ratio in their last 33 ABs. Pitchers are already starting to figure him out.”

Well, another 3 games played since last week’s rankings and he’s crushed another 2 HRs — however — with another 3 Ks. In his 15 games played so far he’s only not struck out in 2 games. Riley was a top 30 prospect heading into this season and so far the power potential (three 19+ HR seasons in the minors) is showing up, but so is the strikeout potential (8 consecutive minor league seasons with a 20+% K/rate.)  Look, he’s 22. He can crush, but he can also miss. I’ve put him at 99 for now — one spot above Jose Ramirez — and I’ll be watching his progress.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Carlos Correa hit the IL with a fractured rib, and will be out three to four weeks.  He suffered the injury from a massage.  Kinda makes you respect Bob Kraft more.  Correa, “That isn’t the bone I want yanked!”  Masseuse, “That is called The Bulgarian Tickler.”  You’d think a Correa’n could handle an Oriental massage. Or maybe we should be asking which Cardinals exec was working undercover as a masseuse?  This is why I just sit in a Brookstone chair for 45 minutes or until a store employee asks me to leave.  When Correa is picked 120-ish in 2020, he’s gonna be a bargain!  The Astros said to replace Correa and the already injured, Aledmys Diaz, they will go with Jack Mayfield and Myles Straw.  More like Jack Junefield!  Amiright?!  I need a nap.  *shuts eyes for five seconds, claps hands*  I’m back!  Mayfield’s tearing shizz up in the minors (10 HRs, .938 OPS), but the Prospectonator is meh on him.  As for Myles Straw, aka the Straw that stirs the Myles, looks like he has blazing speed and might hit .220 with no playing time. As a dolphin might sing at karoake, “STRAW! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!” Now bring up Kyle Tucker aka Crush Hour!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?