Please see our player page for Mitch Haniger to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

For the Seattle Mariners, all is lost…

Well, well, well…..What in the ever-loving mother of the elder gods do we have here!!? Baseball is upon, guys/gals, and after taking a brief hiatus to give my absolute all to battling some forces that were severely limiting my effectiveness as a writer, I return to thee thirsty for battle, lusting for justice, soothsaying for savants, and fully equipped to do battle with any who shall oppose me in this art form of writing about the game we know and love; Fantasy Baseball. I have missed this so much, truly, I have. Sadly, you are not here to read about me and newfound love of life and everyone in it, but to discover sort of a basic understanding of what the Seattle Mariners are up to…..I will try to put it into words, which may prove difficult, being that I’m not allowed to drop F-bombs or post dick pics, but here’s a hint; IT’S ALL BAD!!!!! Like, it’s rotting badger carcass under your backseat bad, when whom you believe to be your dream girl blows up your bathroom after railing an eight-ball to the face bad, like, any Nicolas Cage movie from the last ten years bad, like, REALLY, REALLY, ASTRONOMICALLY PISS POOR!!!!!! Say one thing for the Seattle Mariners, say they are going absolutely going to be one one of the five worst teams in the sport this season.

Before I get started, did anyone read the Minnesota Twins preview? I was starting to blast the dude on Twitter for buying fake followers, only to realize he’s a professional wrestler!?!?!?! WHAT!?!?!?! Is this real? Can someone confirm? If so, it is with great honor that I accept this cohabitation of mannishness, and look forward to continuing the greatness of Razzball, thee premier site for fantasy baseball. Aaaaahkay, now let’s set it off in this MF.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is your Seattle Mariners team preview. TAKE HEED!

Check out our other team previews here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One word about this top 100 for 2019 fantasy baseball, before I give you another 5,000 words.  I’m going to avoid repeating myself from the position rankings in the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.  If you want to know my in-depth feelings about a player, then you need to go to his positional page, i.e., the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball, the top 20 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball, the top 20 Gucci handbags for 2019– Ah, I almost got you.  This post is meant to give you an idea where guys from different positions are in relation to each other.  Since this post is only the top 100, there’s more players where this came from.  471 more, to be very exact.  Next up, there will be a top 500 that will go to 571.  Then, after that, there will be a top 7,500 that will go to 8,602, then a top 25,000 that will go to 28,765, then a top 600,000 that will go to 892,121, until we end up with a top kajillion in April that will go to a kajillion and one.  Or maybe I’ll stop at the top 500.  Yeah, that makes sense.  Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel.  Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2019 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.”  Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters.  Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter!  Also, the online Fantasy Baseball War Room is, uh, online.  It might be a little wonky still, but working out kinks.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey, guys and five girls, we’re (I’re) back!  Today’s 2019 fantasy baseball rankings tackle your favorite (I’m guessing!), the top 40 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball.  Last year, this post had Cain, Acuña, Merrifield, Mazara, Gallo, Pollock, McCutchen, Pham and Domingo Santana.  Well, at least Acuña was able to hightail it outta here!  Those who don’t learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them.  Or is it, ‘Those whom don’t learn?’  Meh, whatever!  As always, my projections are noted for each player and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Also, all of Rudy’s hitter projections are under that easy-to-click link.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I’m working on my pre-season top 100 hitters column each week I sometimes like to ask my friends for their thoughts as a barometer for who I might be too high or too low on. As a fun experiment I start with my #1 and #2 ranked players and whoever they voted was better was locked into their ranking — and whoever lost would face the next ranked player.

For example: “Mike Trout or Mookie Betts?” Unanimously Trout.

“Betts or Jose Ramirez?” 4 votes Betts, 1 for Ramirez.

“Ramirez or Francisco Lindor?” 4 for Lindor, again — 1 for Ramirez.

For the most part players rarely lasted more than 2-3 match-ups before they won and were given their consensus ranking. However, there was one player who lasted 8 match-ups (meaning an 8 ranking difference between my top 100 and the group consensus top 100) and that man was…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Another baseball season is in the books and with it, another year living in your mom’s basement with zero prospects of freedom on the horizon. As your fantasy guide donkey, I consider it my duty to lend a hoof in resolving this dire lodging situation. Let me regale you with my story of escape from the comforts of mom’s basement, out into the unknown.

Looking back, there was one major factor which led to my now girlfriend rescuing me from my mom’s basement and allowing me to move into her much nicer basement. It began with an innocent conversation with a friend about stinky balls, sweaty dongs and general swamp crotch. Through this one conversation, I discovered we don’t need to live in constant fear of these groinal afflictions.

My buddy spoke of a miracle cure for this vicious epidemic. The magical solution goes by the name of talcum powder. It turns out, if you cover your genitalia in this wondrous powder, you’ll never fall victim to the swampy nether stank again. Don’t take my word for it, sprinkle away and see for yourself. Just don’t forget about ole Donkey Teeth once you’re living it up in your new girl’s basement.

Now, a bit of fair warning: you’ll want to grasp the sack loosely as you apply the marvelous talcum formula. As a wise man once said, if you cling too tightly you’re gonna lose control of your powder application. This all reminds me of Hold on Loosely – Part 1 & Part 2 where we discussed the dangers of clinging too tightly to mid-round fantasy baseball draft picks.

In the past Hold on Loosely chronicles, I speculated about the growing phenomena of elite offensive fantasy baseball production becoming more available later in drafts, or even on the waiver wire throughout the season. Take a look at some examples of this occurrence in the table below…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hani-ger! Hani-ger! Hani-ger! Is how I chant the Mariner outfielder’s name, reminiscent to another breakout in history. But, was it really a breakout? I mean… he was healthy. Yay! But, the numbers themselves were exactly the same. Is this real life? Oh is it ever! And we have some juicy nuggets to share with you that’ll make you walk around chanting Hani-ger! Hani-ger! Hani-ger! yourself. Watch, learn, comment, discuss. Then go watch another one of these little camera experiments we’ve been throwing together, only go watch another player. (They’re listed below to make life extremely easy on you).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I lied to you loyal Razzball readers. In part 1 of this 2019 fantasy baseball mock draft hosted by Justin Mason of Friends with Fantasy Benefits, I told you this was going to be a four-part series. Well, unfortunately between rounds 23 and 24, the MLB regular season ended and thus, so did our Fantrax mock draft. The draft room disappeared from the league page and every future pick was being auto-drafted. Rather than waste your time discussing random players being auto-drafted I’m just going to highlight a few notable undrafted players at the bottom of this article. Back to the draft itself: three words can sum up rounds 15 through 23: risk, relievers and rookies. You’ll soon see what I mean. (BTW, the 2nd part of the fantasy baseball mock draft.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Went over the catchers1st basemen2nd basemen and shortstops and top 20 3rd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.  Guess what’s next!  No, not pitchers. Read the title, man.  In 2010, there were only 5 outfielders that hit 30 homers, in 2011 there were 9, 14 in 2012, in 2013, there were 3, a small bounce back with 6 in 2014, eight in 2015, 11 outfielders in 2016, and last year there were 15.  This year…DRUM ROLL!….10 outfielders hit 30 homers.  Womp, womp.  Obvious trend…denied!  As for steals, there were 14 outfielders who stole 30 bases in 2012, 10 in 2013, 11 in 2014, five in 2015, seven in 2016 and last year there were…2!  This year:  five outfielders stole 30 and eleven players overall, up from six.  Steals are on the come up!  As before, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My 2018 fantasy baseball season may be over, but my 2019 fantasy baseball season has just begun! Justin Mason of Friends with Fantasy Benefits is hosting a series of #2EarlyMocks with fantasy baseball analysts from around the web and he was kind enough to invite me to participate in one of them. For me, it’s never #2Early. Hell, I’ll do a mock draft for 2024 if anyone is willing to host one! I’ll be taking Blaze Jordan #1 overall!

Below you’ll see the first 7 rounds of the 28 round draft. I was assigned the 1st overall pick — which for round 1 (in my opinion) is pretty boring. However, from there it gets interesting — you have a long time to wait and watch a lot of baseball’s top 20 players go off the board. I’ve included each selection’s 2018 ADP ranking so you can see who has gained/lost the most value. Something to note — the number I’ve written below isn’t their actual ADP — just the rank that ADP falls among all players. For example, Christian Yelich’s ADP was actually 41.3, but that leaves him ranked as the 40th player taken off the board — hence the 40.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back for another star-studded event!  Assuming you hack into your favorite online dictionary and replace the definition of ‘star’ with “guy who lives in his mom’s basement and screams when someone finishes his Doritos,” and next to the definition of ‘stud’ you put a picture of yourself.  The Razzballies are the only award show where it’s totally fine to show up in sweatpants, and for your fingers to be orange from Cheetos.  We don’t judge.  We will occasionally mock.  Mock-judge, tomato-tomahto.  Get over it!  But don’t mock Judge, that’s not all right.  I hope you enjoyed the clip show where I inserted myself into various baseball clips from this year.  How about the clip where I was Kris Bryant learning about launch angles from David Eckstein?  Hee-lar-e-us!  So, before I’m talking to no one but a room full of seat-fillers, here’s the year-end awards for the best and worst of fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?