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Please see our player page for Louie Varland to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

14.4% walk rate. That stands out as the difference between young players, who have promise, and what Gunnar Henderson (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer) has done. Thinking back to when Keston Hiura appeared to be a top prospect. He flamed out with a walk rate half of Gunnar’s. Gunnar Henderson just went through conceivably the most difficult stretch of his young career, and did it with a 14.4% walk rate. That’s remarkable. Most vets can’t do that. It’s common sense: A player struggles and starts swinging at everything and spirals out of control until they’re asking, “Is the whole team going to Golden Corral tonight?” as they stand in line for minor league meal vouchers. Yesterday, Gunnar hit the longest home run in Camden Yards history; it reached the street, then rolled to Hamsterdam. Since June, he’s hit .458 with four homers. He has a higher OPS than Kyle Tucker, Schwarber, Jul-Rod and Machado, to name a few. In the last month, he’s hitting near-.300 with a .265 ISO. To me, the most impressive number is still 14.4%. Gunnar sounds like a viking backwards and forwards, and you Cnut ask for more. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Reds’ manager, David Bell, who is commonly known as Dumb Bell, not because he’s the dumbest motherf*cker to ever manage a baseball team — Phil Nevin is dumber than him — he’s known as Dumb Bell, because he’s the 2nd dumbest MLB manager. (It’s a 29-way tie for 2nd.) Imagine having five top 100 prospects, all under the age of 27, and thinking, “How do I get Kevin Newman into the lineup?” This perplexed Dumb Bell for countless hours. He took a trek to visit a Buddha statue in downtown Cincy (it’s outside Buddha’s Mongolian BBQ) to ask the Buddha what he thought he should do, and the Buddha said, “Look deep within for the knowledge you possess,” so Dumb Bell dropped his pants, bent over backwards in front of a mirror and tried to find that knowledge deep within himself. Sadly, the only knowledge he now possesses is he needs to wipe better. So, Dumb’s got a new piece to play with as Elly De La Cruz was called up. Just gave you an Elly De la Cruz fantasy. Yes, he’s a pickup in every league. Oh, and “yes” reminds me of something: Where the Helly is CES? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was feeling reflective yesterday, so I turned to the mirror and sang to myself, I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste–Mirror, “Please don’t sing that song.”–A flannel for my facePajamas, a hairbrush–“Please stop, please.”–New shoes, and a case! I said to my reflection–Stop Squeeze’ng me! Yesterday, Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll (4-for-5, 3 runs, 6 RBIs) with a slam (8) and legs (4). Naylor? Can’t we talk first? Get to know each other? I’m tempted but the truth is discovered…Can Josh Naylor become a thing? Sure. I fumble for the clock…alarmed by the seduction…Time to get serious, what kind of thing did you have in mind with Naylor? There is a large contingent of 1st basemen like Josh Naylor who will give 20-24 homers, no speed and a .270 average. In Squeeze terms, that’s a novel, some perfume, a fortune all for you. It’s basically a top 15 1st baseman, and right now he’s around the 25th best 1st baseman (or was prior to yesterday, at least), so he’s got some ground to gain. Will you become bored of Naylor if you roster him? I see what you’re saying…Tempted by the fruit of another… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First off, we have to wish our five female readers a very Happy Mother’s Day. I started a petition for next year’s Mother’s Day, where MLB puts a nipple on each base, and, when runner steps on it, it lactates. I think after I petitioned MLB last year to have hairy bean bags on the end of bats for Father’s Day, they’ve muted me somehow, so if you could boost this, I’d appreciate it. One guy who’s obviously a momma’s boy is Mitch Keller (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.38, 70 strikes out of 93 pitches). This comes after a 4-hit shoutout, which comes after four years of near-5 ERA pitching, which comes after being a highly touted prospect, which comes after emerging from his mother’s womb, because yesterday was all about moms! His peripherals are all saying everything Mitch Keller is doing is really happening vs. some kinda mirage that will evaporate when his luck runs out. The most incredible part of Mitch Keller’s star mitzvah is that he’s doing this prior to his trade to the Yankees for Albert Abreu and cash considerations. Oh, you know it’s coming, Keller high water. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan steps behind the three point line, head fakes Ehlo, who sails past him, tumbling to the half-court line. Jordan looks at the fallen Ehlo, “Was it that good of a head fake?” He sets himself, and goes up, up, up, — that’s three ups — and the ball is soaring, soaring, soaring — that’s three soarings — and SWISH! SWISH SWISH! That’s three swishes! Right into the…bleachers? Jordan Diaz shrugs at Ehlo. It’s a Shruggle! He gave him the Shruggle! The patented “Who knew I was this good?” and rounds the bases. Jordan Diaz has done the impossible! He’s made Grey talk about basketball — kinda! Yesterday, Diaz went (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) with three homers, his 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Jordan’s homer comes a day after MJ’s homer. Pippen ain’t easy, obviously. I’ve said previously Jordan Diaz is like a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis I-Need-A-Raise. That might be selling his power short, and his batting average high. At least for this year. He could sneak into a 15-17 homer season, but being in Oakland won’t help. His strikeouts are up, so the potential .280 average feels like a long shot. He could also just be finding himself like Jason Bourne or that guy on The Citadel, a blatant rip-off of Jason Bourne. At worst, a hot schmotato. At best, Jordan gives us more Flu Games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After a rough showing in Week 4, we bounced back last week. Our most helpful section has been the SAGNOF portion of the article because we’ve stumbled into some great closers over the last two weeks. Will Smith and Carlos Estevez are scattered across all my leagues, and this article helped me to make those […]

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Don’t just toss around the boomstick tag, okay? Pass out the boomstick tag after thoughtful introspection. Okay? Okay. With that said, Josh Jung (3-for-5,3 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer), that 3rd baseman in Texas? Yeah, he has a boomstick. Not saying he could play Quidditch, that’s a broomstick. This is a boomstick. To give you a super random comparison, Jung could be Ty France but with the boomstick. Jung, the France man. Call him Josh-Jung Sartre. Though, France has kinda sucked, but I was talking about his average when it’s good, and Jung should have more power France. Hmm, maybe that comparison isn’t great, except how else was I getting to call him, Josh-Jung Sartre? Some have doubted whether or not Josh Jung has the power to be an attractive fantasy corner man contributor. Doubt no more, as Josh-Jung Sartre once said of self-reflection. Can he stay on pace for 40 homers? We’re in unknown territory, but he’s been ready for the last two years. What would Sartre say of that? Let’s see, hmm… “Hell is other people having Josh Jung on their team.” Geez, this guy’s a real bummer. Unlike his sorta namesake! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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“Please bend your knee, Gabriel Moreno, we have a coronation to attend to. Thank you.” Places sword on Moreno’s shoulder, then passes it over his head to other shoulder, and ceremoniously says, “Every fifth day, from today forward, you will be known as Boombalatty, so it’s now Pfaadt y Boombalatty. The perfect battery mate. You have no choice in this matter. Okay, now you can stand.” So, the Diamondbacks are showing their youth by exposing their baby Pfaadt. With Brandon Pfaadt being called up, the minors are closed now. *Matt Mervis pounds on door* Sorry, man, we just closed! So here’s what Itch’s said previously, “The 6’4” 220 lb Brandon Pfaadt got better outcomes than anyone could expect from a Triple-A Diamondback, posting a 0.99 WHIP with 74 strikeouts in 61.2 innings. Pitching coach Brent Strom has gotten great results from a lot of arms over the years, and Pfaadt comes gift wrapped with all the bells and whistles, carrying his plus velocity deep into starts and commanding his four-pitch arsenal like a veteran. I’m a veteran of fighting a war with Grey.” What? If it’s not clear, Brandon Pfaadt is a pickup in all leagues. Pfaadt chance I’m missing out on him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?