We have a very spooky 14-game slate for Friday the 13th on FanDuel. Not only is it Friday the 13th, but it’s also a full moon, so expect some bizarre baseball tonight. Stack up those Marlins and fade Max Scherzer for Dylan Covey….okay, just kidding, don’t do that. I’m not going to shock you with my favorite cash game pitcher tonight, as I’ll be going with Gerrit Cole ($12,000). Cole has been scary-good this year, striking out a league-high 39.4% of batters. Gerrit Cole faces the Royals, who have put up an 81 wRC+ against right-handed pitchers since the beginning of August. Since I’m paying all the way up for my pitcher, I’ll try and include some extra value plays once we get to today’s hitters. Let’s take a look at the rest of today’s slate.
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As is the on-trend thing to do this season, Mike Yastrzemski joined the 3-homer club Friday night smashing three long balls in one night including his 16th of the season, a go-ahead solo shot in the 11th inning. The three-dinger-day!?! Yaz queeen! That kind of feat is something his hall-of-fame grandfather Carl, who will ALWAYS be mentioned whenever Mike does anything of note, only accomplished once in 3,308 career games. But this is 2019. We have Monster energy drinks and super baseballs and over 15 players who have had a 3-homer games this season alone. Friday’s Giants/DBacks match up was a perfect illustration of this with both team’s combining to hit 12 home runs. Just the second time two teams have combined to hit this many homers. Kevin Pillar had his own double-dinger day, hitting his 16th and 17th of the year, the second a go-ahead in the 10th. But the Snakes countered with homers from Wilmer Flores (his second of the game) and Nick Ahmed to tie it up before Yaz’s game-winner. Brandon Belt, Ketel Marte, Eduardo Escobar and Adam Jones also chipped in their own bombs. Yeah so, basically, everyone was dinging dongs Friday night at Chase. Still, Mike Yasztremski deserves his credit, and his credit is due. The hat-trick is a special thing and he’s now rocking 5 homers and a .333 average in the past week. His .272/.324/.548 slash is nothing to sneeze at and he’s also slugging .755 in August with a 1.088 OPS. He’s a 30+ homer hitter across a whole season, folks. Yeah, you’d own that! And Yaz is criminally still available in about half of leagues at this point. Sure, Vlady and Bo and Cavan are cool, but grand kids are where it’s really at and Mike Yastrzemski needs to be owned everywhere. Yaz more please!
The days of the calendar for centuries in the Western world have been measured by one event. The birth of the messiah Jesus Christ. However, following this weekend’s happenings we as a people have decided to change it. All history prior to August 1st will be known as B.A., short for “Before Aquino.” While all days after that date will be known as A.A., for “After Aquino”. It is the Reds’ slugger’s world and we’re all just living in it. So, of course your boys Ralph and Grey had to talk a little Aquino, before hitting on all the other less important happenings in fantasy baseball the last week. Punisher, punish me, so bad, so bad! It’s the All-Aquino episode of the Razzball Podcast!
You know how you bought that prosthetic pierced nipple in college? Then, one day, you were at a strong-in-energy kegger and everyone was screaming for you to jump in the pool, but you knew there was a 99% chance your prosthetic pierced nipple would come off and everyone would know you’re a fraud? But you jumped in anyway, and your prosthetic pierced nipple floated away, but, to your surprise, everyone liked you still, without the prosthetic pierced nipple. Lucas Giolito is your tan-lined nipple without the prosthetic piercing. He may get hit around occasionally, he might not always get Ks, but, at the end of the day, Lucas Giolito (6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.42) is a great, bare-nippled pitcher. His 11.3 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 3.35 FIP tell me next year he’s going to be a sneaky top 15 starter in 2020, who is forgotten like a prosthetic pierced nipple. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Stan Bush? Give me that beat! You got the Tauchman! You got the power! Yeah! You’ve never walked, you’ve never run! You’re a winner! (Though some may say running and walking aren’t bad for baseball.) You got the moves, you got the streets (not as important in baseball)! Break the rules (well, Barry Bonds had some success with this)! You’re nobody’s fool! Yeah! You’re at your best when the going gets rough! (This is true since the Yanks had some injuries and needed Mike Tauchman to step up.) You’ve been put to the test, but it’s never enough! (That’s less true; we appreciate you here, Tauchman). You got the Tauchman! You got the power! It’s all true! So, Mike Tauchman (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, hitting .299) hit another home run last night, his 10th, that’s in 60 games. And he stole a bag, his 4th! He now has three homers in two games, and four homers in the last week. I grabbed him in multiple leagues, because who doesn’t love dongs! Not this redblooded American! Hoo-rah, I got the Tauch!
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
If you missed out on my RCL earlier don’t worry, there’s still plenty of other leagues open against other @Razzball writers. Join now for a chance to win a spot in #RazzBowl 2020, it’s FREE! https://t.co/SF1dgtZWCS
Happy Father’s Day weekend DFSers. We’ve got the US Open, Father’s Day prep and an eight game FanDuel main slate for you tonight. Let’s try to pad your wallet so you can get an extra rib eye for the grill this weekend, shall we? To do that, we’re looking at Frankie Montas ($8,700) and his plethora of strikeouts. As we know by now, Ks pay the bills in DFS and Montas is currently rocking a 9.4 K/9 and has two 10 K games under his belt already. Montas is at home (something we always love in our DFS pitchers) and he gets to face the Seattle Mariners. The Mariners appear to have given up on the season and are swinging at absolutely everything. They lead the majors in strikeouts by a hefty margin and I love Montas to have a big game tonight. Lock and load my friends.
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Handed down through the generations from Hammurabi to Hammurabi was a code of SAGNOF. It read, “Yo, Hamm-whaaaaaazzzzzup-be?! Don’t pay for saves, dem shizzes are free on waivers.” It read a bit like a text message, tee bee aitch. But that was the code as written. Cut to 14,000 years later, and I received this code in a dream after ingesting a massive amount of peyote. I would’ve discarded it like the iguana I also received, but there was something to this code, and from that day forward I forbade myself from paying a lot for saves. Then March came and Craig Kimbrel was falling and I was like, “Ain’t ever gonna get a price like this again!” and drafted him, and not listening to Hamm-whaaaaaazzzzzup-be really effed me. Thankfully, my long national nightmare is over and Craig Kimbrel signed with the Cubs. Does this negate all the leagues where I have Pedro Strop? *Lisa Simpson grumble* Yes, appizzarently, it does. I’d imagine Kimbrel will need at least two to three weeks of minor league games to get up to snuff, but closers can get stretched quicker than starters, obvi. I wouldn’t drop Strop until I saw a Kimbrel save, but he’s coming back. Finally. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Imagine discovering a band forty years after their relevant period. Then imagine you’re Grey Albright. Your mustache is thick and handsome, you run a fantasy baseball empire, and you just discovered the Blue Öyster Cult! Did anyone ask for more cowbell? Well, unfortunately we can’t provide you any sweet, sweet cowbell, but we can take you through the week in Fantasy Baseball, one outlandish conversation at a time. We of course spend half the show discussing recent call-ups, before diving into Josh Bell’s breakout, Brandon Woodruff coming of age, and if Rafael Devers is a top three round pick in the making. While we’re in good spirits I encourage Grey to take a victory lap for Adalberto Mondesi’s early returns, before running through some good adds for the week ahead. It’s the Razzball podcast, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges!
With the time when prospects are called up fast approaching, it’s appropriate for us to take this time to walk past the fallen rookies of the past. Sorta like the Rites of Passage walk on Survivor when they burn all of the Survivors’ belongings that didn’t make it to the end. When I write it out, it sounds like something Germany did in the 1940s. Any the hoo! I’m feeling nostalgic as we look ahead to some young players. So, here’s what I wrote about what Keith Law wrote back a few years, “Here we have the number one pick in the 2008 MLB draft, Tim Beckham. Actual Keith Law quote, ‘(Beckham has) the best chance of anybody in this draft pool to be a superstar.’ Good stuff, Keith, thank you. Next up, Jesus Montero and Zach McAllister. Actual Keith Law quote from a chatscript: Question, ‘Could Montero be an All-Star level 1B?’ Answer from Law, ‘Yes.’ So succinct, have to love that when you’re right. Question, ‘How do you project McAllister?’ Law answer, ‘At least a #3.’ At least! Hashtag nailed it. These are fun, let’s do more! Another question posed to him, ‘I’ve heard contrasting things about Dustin Ackley’s power. Based on what you’ve seen what is Ackley’s ceiling in terms of HR/year?’ Keith, or Klaw as he calls himself, said, ‘I could see 20-25. I’d say Ackley’s chance for 30 HR power is 20%.’ Okay, one more (though I could do this all day) actual Keith Law quote, and this one is classic because he name drops his alma mater. In 2009, someone asked him, ‘Shouldn’t Teheran be higher on (Law’s prospect) list than Jeff Locke?’ Keith said, ‘Are you asking me or telling me? When I first got to Harvard, there was this variety show that some upperclassmen put on during freshman week, and one guy had a funny routine about ‘flexers’ — students who would ask bogus questions that were really designed to state opinions or try to show off knowledge. (Grey comment, “Sounds like a riot!”) Obviously, the answer is ‘no,’ since I ranked Locke over Teheran. It’s incredibly naive to ignore probability when ranking prospects.’ I do enjoy a pompous ass. I wonder if he has a post.harvard.edu email address. Of course, he does! His email is likely [email protected]” And that’s me savoring in the deliciousness of Keith Law’s perception and humbleness! This brings us to Tyler White and Yuli Gurriel–Wait, no it doesn’t. It brings me to Yordan Alvarez and Kyle Tucker, the guys we’re hoping replace White and Yuli. By the way, Yuli’s impersonation of a white man’s eyes — not cool. Why do we care so much about Yordan and Tucker? I mean, I even put them in the video at the top of this page. We care because their Triple-A numbers are on par with Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s. Yordan and Tucker are flat-out raking. Yordan has been otherworldy; Tucker is on the 40-man roster and been other otherworldly for the last month. Both guys should be up very soon and owned in all leagues until they’re either promoted, untenable to hold, stop hitting in the minors or are traded for Jeff Locke. Don’t make me do my funny routine about flexers. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Cavan Biggio will be promoted today to join Vladimir Guerrero Jr. Soon, Bichette will join Guerrero and Biggio and the Jays’ master plan to reunite the 2005 All-Star Game in the luxury boxes will be complete. “How’s Darin Erstad Jr. look?” “More like Darin Ersatz!” “I don’t get it.” “Ersatz means an inferior substitute.” “Is that some thinking man’s humor? I don’t like that.” That was overheard in the Jays’ front office. Here’s what Prospect Mike said about Biggio this preseason, “At 23, Biggio had a solid 2018 campaign at Double-A. He hit .252 with 26 homers, 20 steals, and a walk rate of nearly 18%. He has the pedigree and patience to make it in the pros and the power to hit 20-25 homers, but he also strikes out a lot and I’m not sure what position he’ll end up at. This could mean he ultimately finds a role as a super-utility type like a Swiss Army knife. Speaking of which, anyone know where Grey is, I want to harvest his liver.” Okay, what now? This year, Biggio cut down on his Ks, and held his walks, hitting .306 in Triple-A, while adding in his usual mix of power and speed. I imagine he takes over for Sogard and hits leadoff. Sogard? So long! I added Biggio everywhere I could because I have a sickness for upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: