*nudges the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, and it doesn’t move* “Oh my God, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is dead!”
Drowsily, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell wakes on the couch, “I’m not dead, you idiot. I’m hungover. Could you please stop screaming?”
“Woo hoo! The Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is alive!”
Rubbing temples, sitting up and asking, “What time is it?”
“Baseball season time!”
“Stop screaming, you moron!”
So, welcome back to another Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, or as I like to call it, “Pick up this player in your league if he’s available because he’s rostered in less than 50% of leagues, but only if you’re carrying a player who is worse than him” and “Trade away this player who is rostered in more than 50% of leagues, but only if you’re getting a fair price.” You can see why I went with Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell instead. Now, if you’ll allow it, I want to pitch you this 70’s revival musical tour I’m trying to sell to stadiums and social clubs…
Okay…Imagine this! I come out on stage in a sequins head-to-toe jumpsuit, clapping hands above my head! The audience is like, “Is that 70’s Elvis?” No! It’s Grey and The Hittin’ Jacks! On guitar we have Jackson Merrill, on drums Jackson Holliday and on bass, it’s the one and only, Jackson Chourio! In my perfect nasally New Jersey accent that the ladies all want to hear, I go into our hit song (in the former Yugoslavia in 1979), We’re All Young and You Want Some.
Wanna see me get happy? Then watch as Jackson Merrill homers. That makes me Jack Merri!
Wanna see me get paid days off? That’s Jackson Holliday’s!
Wanna see me eat breakfast? That’s Jackson Chourio, cereal-ly!
Okay, for real, can you make a parlay that a Jackson will be the ROY? I want some of that action with Merrill, Holliday and Chourio. Everyone wants Holliday and Chourio (and Wyatt Langford, but he’s not in The Hittin’ Jacks), and that’s for good reason, but Jackson Merrill feels like such an afterthought. As I said in the last post where I mentioned Merrill, he looks like Tatis from the other side of the plate, that’s why I called him Oppo-Tatcos. Merrill is only 20 years old and has 20/20/.280 potential. Yeah, it’s gonna be real fun watching him and the Hittin’ Jacks. Coming soon to a Kiwanis Club near you! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Jake Rogers – In a partial year last season, any ideas how many homers Rogers had? Did you say 15? You’re not even in Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood, friend. He hit 21 in 331 ABs.
Ryan Jeffers – From Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood to Movin’ On Up with The Jeffers on the Buy list. If you have any idea what I’m talking about, you are also an old. Eat your Metamucil!
Christian Encarnacion-Strand – So, I’ve officially abandoned ESPN for the Buy/Sell this year. I think it’s time. What I mean is for a decade-plus I was using ESPN’s ownership numbers, so they’d say stuff like Christian Encarnacion-Strand is only rostered in 27% of leagues and I’d get annoyed and say that he should be rostered in 100% of leagues. This year, I’m using CBS, where CES is at 91%. That feels more realistic. I might give you a few from ESPN because people are in shallower leagues, but saying guys like CES should be picked up feels silly. Any hoo! He is worth rostering, obviously.
Edouard Julien – Just throwing this back to my Edouard Julien sleeper. I know he didn’t start yesterday, but it’s one game. One game. One game. One–Okay, I’m willing it into existence.
Thomas Saggese – This one is more NL-Only than anything. He’s Bryan De La Cruz at 2nd base if he gets at-bats. The problem is the Cards don’t have a lot of room. They need one injury, but that’s a solid NL-Only stash.
Ezequiel Tovar – Will be honest with you for the first time ever and say Tovar bores me like hearing about tunneling (pun intended and now you’re searching for that pun instead of focusing — over here!). Tovar is valuable though even if he’s more of a lunchpail-type guy.
Masyn Winn – I’m truly wondering a very serious question. If Wyatt Langford came up last year and hit .200 in limited time and Masyn Winn didn’t come up at all, would Winn be drafted in front of Langford? This is not a joke. Winn was a serious prospect, until he had a random bad three weeks.
Colt Keith – 3rd base is miserable for late-round guys. Though, Cool Colt Keith is an ultramagnetic prospect.
Brett Baty – I’m old enough to remember when everyone wanted him, because I’m not an infant.
Curtis Mead – Since I gave you an NL-Only stash, here’s an AL-Only one. Rays prospects, who are stashes, could have their own team. Change the Rays name to another fish and call them the Skates as in the Cheapskates.
Daulton Varsho – Spring Training is a bunch of nonsense, right? Varsho! But can a guy who was bad last year that was supposed to be good, be great a year later? Varsho again!
Will Benson – Or Jake Fraley or anyone on the Reds, who is in the lineup still and not jinxed by Marge Schott’s Ghost and her Ghost Dog, who is pooping in the dugout. Don’t worry, it’s ghost poops.
Jung Hoo Lee – Honestly, not even sure of his ownership numbers. Just wanted to mention I’ve become way more of a fan of Lee as the draft season progressed. You, “Lee who?” No, Hoo Lee.
Ceddanne Rafaela – Go back to look at my Ceddanne Rafaela fantasy. I love this guy, even though no one cares. They will (benson? I just talked about him).
Jack Suwinski – Was thinking about how Suwinski is the perfect kind of prospect for the Pirates. Solid, but not good enough where it’ll cost the Pirates anything if he reaches free agency. If only Skenes wasn’t so good!
James Outman – Head back to my James Outman sleeper. Outman is hitting it out, man.
Christopher Morel – Call me Michael Moreleone, head of the Moreleone Mafia, because every time I think I’m out, his fantasy profile pulls me back in. He’s also going to get 3rd base eligibility within two weeks, and that’s going to be huge.
Kris Bryant – Ah, finally an exciting name! I fully expect to hear about an injury to Bryant, but his price is now: Free. For free? A potential Rockies’ three hole hitter isn’t that bad.
Victor Scott II – Goodbye, Carlson, you freakin’ prospblock! Hello, VS2, who could steal 400 bases! (In, like, six seasons, but still, that’s a lot.) Victor Scott II is so exciting. They’re going to list the best times to be alive as 1. 1470s when Da Vinci was riding around on a goofy-looking bike 2. Now, because of Scott. Also, Carlson’s going to return in three weeks and Scott will be sent down because the Cards are dumb, so proceed with caution.
Paul Skenes – Did someone say Skenes? Oh, yeah, it was me a few blurbs ago. So, this is something I’ve noticed. Top prospects, who are due up within a few weeks, are stashed everywhere, usually. Skenes? Tumbleweeds. Don’t know when Pirates are calling him up, but he’s clearly ready to go as soon as whatever arbitrary date is passed. Skenes is going to make light-work of MLBers when he’s called up. Grayson Rodriguez or Skenes? Think they both can be top five starters as soon as next year. Skenes could be top 20 this year.
Gavin Stone – Yes, the Streamonator is up and running and you can try to stream the first weekend, because the Streamonator is lonely and wants you check him out, but Gavin Stone is just a Buy, in general. He was two solid months away from being Grayson Rodriguez. They both looked like garbage in the 1st half last year, but GrayRod fixed his shizz. Stone didn’t, but he could be an ace, and he’s basically free in all leagues.
A.J. Puk – Again: Streamonator, but also Puk is worth grabbing in most leagues to see how he looks in the rotation. In fact (Grey’s got more!), I’m interested in all Marlins’ starters. Okay, not Ryan Weathers.
MacKenzie Gore – This is just a shoutout to say I still love Gore and Kutter Crawford, two guys I gave you sleepers about way back, and they’re barely rostered. Love Jared Jones, Casey Mize, Louie Varland, Reese Olson, Jordan Hicks, Luis Severino and the list goes on and on with starters who looked good in the spring. Will they all be good? Absolutely not. But they’re all worth a flyer.
Robert Suarez – Don’t fully believe the Padres saves are Suarez’s. Maybe because there’s something off about a Robert Suarez. Roberto? Sure. Bobbo? Excellent! Robert? You an undercover narc?
Kevin Ginkel – Not saying it will happen, but if Ginkel took the DBags’ closer job and never relinquished it when Sewald returned, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
Joel Payamps – Brewers saves could be Payamps, Megill or Uribe, which sounds like a law firm when you’re definitely going to jail. “You want me to plead guilty and do a month behind bars, Megill? All I did was borrow my mom’s Netflix password!”
Jason Foley – “I just let a Baby Ruth out of my butt.” That’s if Babe Ruth had to face Jason Foley’s 100 MPH sinkers. As of right now, I’m guessing it’s a timeshare with Foley and Lange.
Hector Neris – In case Adbert keeps giving them up-bert, Neris is a good handcuff.
Griffin Jax – From the Hittin’ Jacks to the Savin’ Jax, what a perfect way to start the year’s first Buy. One less-perfect way to start the year was drafting Jhoan Duran or Devin Williams. So much for paying for saves!
SELL
Eury Perez – This is gonna be a whole lotta injury sells this first week. Eury? Love that dude. Man, I was all in like Hellmuth showing up late to the World Series. Now? I’m road Eury. (Like road-weary. No? Yeah, you’re right.) I moved Eury down in the rankings before the season started, but some of you might’ve drafted him before that. I wouldn’t trade him away for a window seat on a Boeing plane, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.
Tommy Edman – Could’ve also gave you TJ Friedl. Wrist injuries suck. This is not news. I am not a doctor doing doctor things like signing my name in an illegible manner. My signature is clear as day — Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate), it’s exhausting spelling it out on every point-of-sale screen. The truly concerning thing is Edman had wrist surgery back in October and is still suffering. This screams a lost season is incoming. I wouldn’t sell him for a supermarket bag designed by the Unknown Comic with three holes cut out, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.