You’re allowed to like the Juan Soto trade, I think. Probably feels good to leave it in the wake for all involved. Now the Padres can legitimately challenge the Dodgers as the first team I can remember that looks better than Los Angeles on paper. We’ll never know how close we came to having Soto (and maybe even Bell) in LA’s lineup. Feels like the kind of trade that would’ve made half the dynasty league quit, but I guess that’s okay in MLB where half the league quits before opening day.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for MacKenzie Gore to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Engine revs. It’s the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Only instead of a Oscar Mayer hat on its front hood, it’s wearing a Padres cap. It’s staring down a lonely country road. Directly, a mile down, aimed right at it is the Dodgers’ team bus. The Dodgers’ team bus revs.
A half mile in front of each of them, at the midpoint is “1st place in the NL West.” What we have here is a game a chicken. Who will get there first? Behind the Dodgers’ team bus wheel is Magic Johnson. Behind the Padres’ pimped-out Weinermobile is the San Diego Chicken. “You’re going mano a chicken? With the Chicken?! This is not a game you want to play, Magic?” That’s the actor who played Magic in the Showtime series on HBO shouting at Magic. “A Showtime series on HBO? Are you talking riddles, Albright?!” That’s the voice inside my head. Back to the white hot asphalt! The San Diego Chicken guns it towards the Dodgers’ team bus! Magic slams down the gas!
Careening down the road, the Chicken bawks, “They need to lose some extra weight!” To get up to speed, the Padres throw out MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, Robert Hassell III, James Wood and Jarlin Susana. For Magic to get the Dodgers to increase speed, he throws out an anecdote about him hugging Isiah Thomas at half court. “You need more speed, Magic!” The actor who played Magic in the Showtime HBO series screams. Magic says, “Have you heard about the one of me and Clyde the Glide?” It’s not enough! The San Diego Chicken is the type that drives right towards a big trade and waits for the other team to swerve. It ain’t afraid — it accepts that Gore is sometimes necessary.
So, Juan Soto goes to the Padres. They have Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr. and Sexy Dr. Pepper? Um…
Juan Soto, Fernando Tatis Jr., Manny Machado, all in these jerseys pic.twitter.com/gR4OYgreTr
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Like seriously seriously…
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Fun the Jewels, Macho Manny and Sexy Dr. Pepper. Guys and five lady readers, I am doing a horny. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, Razzfam! I mostly play a doctor on tv, but occasionally, I stretch a pair of latex gloves down and over my hands, letting them slap with a satisfying pop across my wrists. Open up wide because today is one of those days! When I read that Jhoulys Chacin has a condition formally known as […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jeimer Candelario ?LeBron James
I confuse the two sometimes it’s so uncanny https://t.co/nJnQHFGFJg
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 26, 2022
“–Breathe, Grey! Come back to us! We’re losing him!”
“Someone put out a cape, I think I’m going to faint like a damsel.”
Granted, I don’t know much about basketball, but he compared himself to LeBron? Yo, has Jeimer Candelario had a break from reality? I guess tying Aaron Judge with the most homers in the 2nd half with four can play tricks on your ego. Yesterday, Jeimer Candelario (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 10th homer, and 4th in the last week. He was a sleeper of mine this past offseason — not great, Bob! — but he is hot now. By the way, his ten homers leads the Tigers in homers, and that is so freakin’ funny to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Leagues are won and lost on the Merrill Kellys (Kellies? Kelli?). Nailing your top picks helps, but those are your top picks. Most times it’s just bad luck if they don’t work out. The later picks? Those separate from the men and five lady readers from the boys and girls. The picks that everyone rolls their eyes over and yawns. The picks that people are like, “Hey, I have to get home and leave this five-hour draft. Just give me whomever is leftover out of Merrill Kelly and Miles Mikolas.” Then your leaguemates goof around and finally are like, “Let’s give Chuck, Merrill Kelly, because Kelly and Chuck both suck.” Those two pitchers — Kelly and Mikolas — weren’t pulled from thin air. They were both drafted on average right next to each other at 483th overall. Sitting around them were Alex Reyes, Rich Hill and Michael Pineda. If you nailed the Kelly, and/or Mikolas in deep leagues? You were sitting pretty, just as Merrill Kelly (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.04) was yesterday, and all season. That’ll teach your leaguemates to try and sabotage you with Merrill Kelly. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two homers apiece for Jesse Winker (2-for-8, hitting .226) and Juan Soto (2-for-6, 4 RBIs, hitting .245). 7th and 8th homer for Jesse Winker; 18th and 19th homer for Juan Soto. Both guys, dreadfully disappointing 1st half. For Winker, it’s kinda wild how a trade to a giant-dumptruck-on-the-ass-crack-of-bad-stadiums-for-hitters can completely derail a career. Now I know why he’s named Winker, he hoodwinked us into thinking he was a .280+ hitter. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, kazoo, Winker sucks! Neutral luck, Winker might not hit .245. Speaking of .245 said Captain Segue, Sexy Dr. Pepper is in a better place today than he was last year at this time. I’m also sick of him being in a 1st half slump every year. Is The Pepper Man disinterested? Can they trade him anywhere? Well, except to Seattle. Is he always going to be a 2nd half guy, because, while I like how he turns the Home Run Derby into a three-month thingamaderby, I wouldn’t mind if he did that for six months vs. three? How about before each game he has a coach toss him some lobs and smacks them into the upper deck? Can I be the only one ever to think of this? Why is this not going on if he keeps “needing” the “derby” to get “fixed?” I got questions, y’all! Toss Soto some 60 MPH fastballs pre-game and let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Post-All-Star Break, the major storyline is the trade deadline–what teams are buyers, playing for the playoffs and the coin flip it is, and what teams are sellers, playing for future seasons. There’s another game at play that influences current playoff races and future seasons alike–monitoring pitcher workloads. Whether it’s the rookie without a lot of […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
This weekend Wander Franco hit the IL, and will see a doctor on Monday for his wrist and hamate bone and I want to die. Put me in a grave, shovel dirt on my head, and say your farewells. To be less histrionic and more just that down-home Grey that you’ve come to know and love, I want my woobie! Here’s Kenneth Cashman, the man behind Rotowear, mocking me:
— Kenneth Cashman (@kenneth_cashman) July 10, 2022
Okay, Wander Franco was barely a top 250th overall player this year on the Player Rater, so, while I expected more, if you’ve survived this long with (aka without) him, you’ll be fine moving forward. I have faith in youse, my large adult sons, and five adult daughters. Taking his place will be Jonathan Aranda, who was recalled. I will say this about Rays prospects, they roll right off the fingertips. Aranadaadadadadadadada, McClanahananananananananananan…Though Lowe’s a hard stop. Aranada was tearing up Triple-A. Hey, kinda like Brujan! And Josh Lowe! And literally every Rays prospect who comes up and fizzles. Aranda is a decent power guy with a solid hit tool. Think a young France. Call him Tintin. In most leagues, you can prolly find better guys on waivers. Now, get lost while I try to cure my Wander lust. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
At least one of you is reading this with a bandaged thumb from a fireworks mishap. I had a Cousin Pete (Italian side of the family) who lost the tip of his thumb on the 4th, but rather than stop the festivities, he taped the tip of a hot dog on his thumb to act as a tourniquet for the rest of the 4th, so we could all go about our fun-having business. I suggested my cousin make a PSA about hot dog tourniquets, but I was turned away by NBC Cares. Let us bow our heads and pray that if anyone loses a piece of their finger, may there be a proper-sized hot dog nearby. Yesterday, the floodgates opened with the strikeouts from Framber Valdez (6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.67) that no hot dog tourniquet could stop. Heading into the 4th of July and I am saluting The Astros SPangled Banner. Between Verlander, Javier, Luis Garcia and Framber just draft all Astros SPs, and sit back and enjoy the fireworKs. But have some cocktail weenies nearby, just in case. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kansas City Royals rookie slash on-again off-again major leaguer Edward Olivares was 2-for-3 with twin tanks as he returned from injury Friday night picking up right where he left off: mashing baseballs. Oli showed the KC Mob what he could do at the end of April/early May with a seven game hitting streak collecting 11 […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Detroit Tigers have finally given the Riley Greene Light calling up their highly touted prospect to make his first MLB start Saturday and it could not come soon enough. Detroit ranks dead last in OBP, SLG and OPS. They are also last in steals, runs, RBIs and you guessed it–home runs with just 31, […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
It sure does seem like pitchers are dropping like flies. It’s probably the same every year, but this year it’s just affecting me more than others. And you know what, I don’t like it. Not one bit. Call me cold-hearted, but I don’t care if pitchers hit the IL, as long as they aren’t on […]Please, blog, may I have some more?