Please see our player page for Robert Suarez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Razzlings, I am willing to bet at least a few of you that have watched and, perhaps, even enjoyed the 1996 film The Craft, starring the inimitable Fairuza Balk. Imagine a group of four Catholic high school girls begin to dabble in the dark arts. It begins innocently enough with spells for levitation, hair color […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since last we met, CJ Abrams made the club and started at shortstop in the second game of the season. He just missed a home run in one at bat, and he got caught stealing once, but the talent was clear. His playing time outlook might be a little foggy with Ha Seong Kim playing well this spring and carrying that over into the season, but you have to figure he’ll be in the lineup almost every day or he’d be in AAA. 

It’s not easy to anticipate who the most interesting prospects in baseball will be, but Abrams is undoubtedly one of them. What happens to him when Tatis comes back? The DH would figure to be blocked by Voit with Hosmer at first, so Tatis will have to play somewhere. Maybe Abrams will just kick out to left field (my guess), and his playing time won’t be impacted at all. Truth is it’s all down to how he plays. If he’s playing up to his potential, he’ll stay in the lineup no matter who’s walking through that door. 

Let’s take a quick lap around the league and check in with some rookies and prospects. 

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Today, I’m gonna be Mr. Monopoly! I don a top hat and tuxedo. Rolls giant foam dice, and…four! Sweet! Then I move along my office carpeting that is a giant Monopoly board. Ooh, pick a Chance card! Excellent! I put in my monocle so I can read, and the Chance card says, “Pick up a middle infield prospect.” Fun! I could grab Diego Castillo, Jeremy Pena, Bryson Stott, CJ Abrams, or Geraldo Perdomo. No problem for me deciding that! Who says variety is debilitating? *studies the stats for each player, a bead of sweat forms on my forehead, slowly that bead of sweat builds into a giant bucket of water and it crashes down on my face, waterboarding me* Help! Make it stop! I can’t decide who I want! So, let’s make like a gravedigger, and dig in.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

I’m somewhere in the Jilin Province of China, with nothing but a tattered map and some take-out food chopsticks still wrapped in their paper, in case I want to snack. I’m here on a lead. Someone told me they saw the Buy/Sell column. Back in September of last year, we parted ways. When the season ends, we usually go our separate ways for a few months, but, disenchanted by the lockout, the Buy/Sell said it was going to walk the earth. I said why not walk the earth in your general vicinity in Bergen County, New Jersey. That fell on deaf ears and it embarked on its journey, which brings me to the outer Qian Mountains.

I come up on a man with a wispy mustache, “Have you seen this article series?” I hold up a Buy/Sell from last year where it said to buy Akil Baddoo. The man points his long-fingernailed index finger up the hill to a grass hut.

I knock on the thatched door. “Hey, Buy/Sell column, hey, are you in here!” My scream echoes, and reverbs back to me with not a sound more. No indication it’s here.
Suddenly, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell column rises like the WWE wrestler, The Undertaker, from a cucumber garden and holds a flashlight to its face for great effect, “What do you want?”
“We need you for another year of fantasy baseball Buy/Sell columns.”
“Okay, I was bored just laying here under an inch of dirt.”

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Last year around this time, we were all bright-eyed and razzy-tailed youths looking forward to a fresh new season through the lens of a fresh new format: The RazzSlam, a collection of 12-team best ball leagues to determine who is the Razziest baller of them all.  

I did what I could to find my way through the field and wrote about it here in Attack on RazzSlam: The Itch’s Final Draft Rundown. 

Mistakes were made. I drafted 19 pitchers, which is fine, especially considering the pitchers I got: Logan Webb at pick 447, Alex Reyes at 399, Trevor Rogers at 346, Jake McGee at 327, Dylan Cease at 303 . . . Hey, how come I didn’t win this league? 

Well, outfield weakness, for starters. Christian Yelich at 2.15 was not fun. Conforto at pck 63. Teoscar at 82 and Buxton at 134 were fine, but in general, I was short on corner bats (had Dom Smith, Andrew Vaughn, Eric Hosmer at 1B) and short on outfield bats. Was also weak at catcher: Vazquez, Tom Murphy and Torrens oh my. 

In most roto leagues, I think you can cover a weak spot with a strong one. That doesn’t seem to be the case in the RazzSlam, so I guess that was our blueprint heading into the draft: have good players at every position. Seems simple enough. 

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I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, then to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

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