by: Grey
I drafted MacKenzie Gore year after year. You could tell because the seasons changed like in Notting Hill after she leaves him. The only difference is MacKenzie Gore didn’t stand in front of me in the preseason and say, “I’m just a boy standing in front of handsome man asking him to draft me again.” […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Somewhere in India, a man builds a shrine the likes of which have never been seen before — 500 rooms, 1,000s of marble columns, 400 acres wide, 80 stories high. It’s tasteful while opulent. It’s to honor his one true love. When his wife comes home, he shows her his masterpiece that he’s built. “Honey, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Max Scherzer left after two innings with decreased velocity — damn, only 78 more wins to 300 — and then things got worse. This was a rematch of last year’s World Series, and the Dodgers sent Justin Wrobleski (5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 2 Ks, ERA at 4.00) out there to try […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Unless I’m misunderstanding Easter and the greatest story ever told, there’s a strong indication that Hunter Brown is not Him. As I understand it, Jesus gets his boys blotto on his blood that’s wine — imagine going wine tasting and being like, “This wine tastes irony.” “Like it’s dramatically contrasted to the opposite of what’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
My barber plucks a gray hair out. I explain, “That one I call ‘Jordan Walker 2024.’” Barber plucks out another gray hair. “That’s Jordan Walker 2025.” Barber points to a full gray beard. “Those are individual games. Jordan Walker game one, Jordan Walker game two, Jordan Walker–You get the point, you don’t need me to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, technically, when I said Konnor Griffin wouldn’t break camp, I was correct. [tomatoes fly by head] Let me finish! [a crowd of pitchforked prematurely balding men shout from outside my fortress] I hear ya! Let me finish! [One person who is the pitchforked prematurely balding men’s de facto leader, “He said he was Finnish. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Way too early for retractions and corrections from the editor. I’m not going to Editor’s Note less than a week in. I’m not Editor’s Noting: You do not have to hand it to player who I didn’t like. I will not be Editor’s Noting: The guy who I said in the preseason sucked, he’s good […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Andrew Painter ( 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks) aka the prospect pitcher who I was interested in so long ago that I honestly just stopped caring about him aka Andy Dutchboy aka will Zack Wheeler knock him out of the rotation when he returns aka A. Painter of corners aka he […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Lance McCullers Jr. (7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks) was once in a rotation with Scott Kazmir. Actually, that Astros team with Kazmir had Altuve and Correa too. Don’t forget Marisnick. He was there too. How could you forget *nick? Now, in 2026, leading the AL Cy Young conversation is Lance McCullers. Sure, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Eleven years ago, I wrote, “The Rockies made official what seemed inevitable for the last week, Trevor Story will be the starting shortstop in Colorado. As a visiting dignitary gets a key to the city, Story earned the shortstop job and was handed one of Tulo’s old hamstrings. ‘May your hamstrings stay forever young.’ That’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
*nudges the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, and it doesn’t move* “Oh my God, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is dead!” Drowsily, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell begins to wake on the couch, “I’m not dead, you idiot. I’m hungover. Could you please stop screaming?” “Woo hoo! The Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is alive!” Rubbing temples, sitting up and asking, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
There’s nothing like Opening Day. There’s a magical quality to starting anew. All your past demons are put to bed. You wake early to the sound of a Rooster because you left HBO on when you fell asleep and you stretch out your arms. It’s going to be different this year. This year is going […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?