I’m writing in from my bubble in Los Angeles. The crazy thing is with living in a bubble, you still have to dust. If I’m the only man left when the curtain rises on The New World, and everyone’s CV has the special skills, “Had CV,” I will get my PhD on, “Why people in bubbles need to dust?” By the by, every time I take off my glasses I have an irrational fear that I’m going to break them like Burgess Meredith and there will be no eye doctors willing to see me during the quarantine, and if you get this reference, you’re old. So, the top 40 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 40 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy pardners! It’s Day 703 of quarantine (feels like it!), and we’re doing a Deadwood-themed quarantine day. Cougs is cussing like Swearagen and I’m mopping the floor like Jewel. She sure is being harsh to me, but I sure do deserve it! Hopefully tomorrow’s “Sitcoms ruined by adding a character late in the show’s run”-theme works out better for me. Cougs is gonna be Nellie from The Office and I’m gonna be Cousin Oliver. “C’mon, guys, I’m just a little accident prone,” as I tumble off a roof. Good, right? Nope, not stir crazy at all! Any hoo! The top 20 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 20 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How is everyone doing? I said that in very slow motion, so it would sound distorted, making you think there was something wrong with me, but, when I just stare back at you, you start to think something is wrong with you. Now we are in an intense staring contest across the internet. It’s called being in quarantine for almost a month and running out of things to talk to your dog about. “So, really, Ted, do you love me or are you licking crumbs out of my mustache?” *Ted stares, then licks my face* “You’re a sweet dog, but you can’t hold a conversation worth a sh*t.” The top 100 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 100 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 568 and I remember baseball, but only faintly. I believe it involves a bat, which I’m hearing might be responsible for the virus. This is all because of those bat swallowers, as my father calls them, though I’m not sure that’s what he means. The irony that we didn’t see anything coming in the year 2020. A long rueful sigh. Fellow mans and five womans, I feel like a late-era Eric Clapton song. Totally off-key, “Tears….in….heaven!”  So, the top 80 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 80 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Best part is that if you shake anyone’s hand, the cocktail in the title can be used as a disinfectant. So (with forty-six oh’s), we could have baseball. Just in Arizona and Florida. That was the news reports on Friday. By today that news will likely change. Tomorrow, we’ll hear something else. On Wednesday, well, on Wednesday, we’ll hear there’s one place Coronavirus still hasn’t affected. The MLB season can be played out in full. Allow me to set the scene:  A manager comes out for a mound visit, “Just trust your stuff. Please. It’s freakin’ freezing,” as baseball plays out its 162-game season in Antartica. With the Florida/Arizona schedule the MLB has floated, the Mets will face the Astros, Nats, Cards and Marlins. El oh–oh, eff me and my Pete Alonso shares. “Hello, I’m Gary Cohen, and the Mets are coming off a 15-minute road trip to Ft. Lauderdale where they saw Scherzer, Strasburg and Patrick Corbin. Now they return home for two 7-inning doubleheaders vs. Justin Verlander and Zack Greinke, then it’s off to see the Cards and Jack Flaherty.” Luckily, I doubt it happens. I mean, maybe. Right now, everything’s on the table, which is a good sign that baseball will happen. But everyone in Florida and Arizona? I guess it’s not absolutely crackers, but I don’t see why playing there is any better than just playing in empty stadiums in their home cities. Is it more manageable because everyone’s in one place? Travel is not an issue for MLB teams with private jets. Long-term residences in Arizona or Florida is easier? I guess, maybe, but if teams have people come in to those residences to clean the rooms, are the maids tested? Are the Jersey Mike’s employees tested from where Mike Trout ordered his subs? Because you know homeboy loves the roast beef sub and calls himself Jersey Mike. My point is players will be at risk in Florida or Arizona. So, a Grapefruit/Cactus League season is interesting, but doesn’t solve all or really any issues. Though, I do wish I drafted German Marquez in one league with the thought he won’t have one game in Coors. Oh, and Nolan Arenado outside of Coors becomes like a 4th or 5th rounder. Anyway, here’s what else I saw for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was having a goof the other day with:

Our fantasy football guy, MB, came through with some major bars spat:

Drop some in the comments here on this post if you’re up to it and we will have some laughs. Any hoo! The top 60 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 60 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My family never thought I’d amount to anything, yet, here I am laying on my couch, saving the world. You’re welcome, world! Which is also what I scream every time I wash my hands. Today in quarantine news, I watched Curb Your Enthusiasm and mentioned to myself, “It’s weird to think of Larry David as touchy-feely, but he is just so casually shaking other people’s hands.” Then I laughed to myself and thought, this must be what it was like to be Howard Hughes, as I peed into a milk bottle. The top 40 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 40 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s Day 327 of the Quarantine and I wrote my wife a letter from my isolation. It read as follows, “I ordered sour cream and onion Funyuns, not bunions cream! Send this f**king garbage sh*t back, my dearest love!” A mere five quarantine days later, she replied, “Eat a D, you swamp-ass motherf**ker!” So, things are good here. We’re building a bridge of communication during our time trapped together in a 1,200-square-foot hellhole. We took the Buzzfeed quiz, “Will Your Marriage Last Through The Quarantine,” and our grade was “Ross-Rachel on a break, if their break meant they could only stay separated by about 50 feet.” So, with this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings to assume a 100-game season. This is using the top 20 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball as our guide. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 20 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When this corona timeline is over, can I be the first to say, please continue to stay six feet from me. Yesterday, I watched the Cardinals win a game of small ball. No, it wasn’t a game from years ago. It was the Cardinals vs. my dog, Ted, in my backyard. Ted just barked at a small ball stuck in a tree for two hours and the Cardinals sat on a perch next to the ball. It was riveting. Don’t let any of those millennials tell you small ball is boring. Millennials ruined small ball! I didn’t simply type that last exclamation; I also screamed it out my window at a group of teenagers who were standing approximately 5 1/2 feet from each other. I’m reporting you! I’m still screaming. Any hoo! With this series, I will take a look around the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings to see if there’s any differences now that we might only play a 100-game season. Projections have been updated on all my positional rankings. This is using the top 20 3rd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball as our guide. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 20 3rd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:

Please, blog, may I have some more?