Put An X On Valdez

Framber Valdez is out with a sore elbow. Feel a bit like I’m living in a Twilight Zone, where I say in the preseason, “Don’t draft (pitcher’s name) because they were injured last year or just so awful last year they must’ve been injured,” then everyone ignores that and pretends that a player’s injury is completely out of nowhere. I could go back and pull quotes from my preseason rankings, and, what the heck! Here’s what I said, “Maybe because I rostered him last year, but I see Framber going in the top 15 starters and I can’t help remember how badly I wanted to drop him in the 2nd half. When he was clearly hiding an injury of some sort, Framber had a 4.66 ERA in the 2nd half; his Ks went into the compost heap; his walks were egregious, and I don’t bring out the Johnnie Cochran “egregious” often. His homers went up, up and away; his sinker went from a pitch he threw 51.6% of the time in April at 95.2 MPH to 38.2% of the time in September at 94.7 MPH, and he was equally atrocious in the postseason. Want a guy who looks like he’s not making it out of Spring Training with a mysterious arm injury? Look no further!” And that’s me quoting me! Seriously, be honest: Do you ignore me or just think you know better? Is there a difference? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Yordan Alvarez – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, 2nd homer in as many games. Captain Woo Cubano needs 46 more!

Andrew Heaney – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 7.56. Feel like we’re friends in a parasocial type way, so I’m gonna be honest, it is so nice to not roster Heaney on any teams this year.

Wenceel Perez – 0-for-2, as he was called up by the Tigers. Senor Wenceel is not a face drawn on a sock worn by A.J. Hinch. He’s a middle infield prospect, who was playing some outfield in the minors to get him into the lineup. Prolly better than Javier Baez, but that contract is worse than former Padres’ prospect, Al B. Tross, who got $50 mil and never saw any ABs. I don’t know if Wenceel actually plays, but if he does, here’s what Itch said previously, “Perez posted a 124 wRC+ in 35 Triple-A games by slashing .264/.394/.493 with three home runs and six home runs with a 16.9-to-18.1 walk-to-strikeout rate. That line is a good reproduction of general outcomes throughout this minor league climb. The upside might not be monstrous here, but he’s a capable up-the-middle defender with great plate skills and a solid hit tool. It’s easy to envision Perez sneaking into a lineup spot and holding it for several years, like I’ve dreamt of sneaking into Grey’s bedroom and curb-stomping him.” What the heck?

Reese Olson – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.40. [picks up phone] Hello, operator, my ratios are cooked.

Mitch Keller – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 5.29. Wish I could say how good he looked with a bounce back start, but he looked pretty mediocre, not quite awful. This wasn’t hell and Keller, nor am I being blind to his flaws.

Bryan Reynolds – 2-for-5 and his 2nd homer. You ever accidentally draft someone and you want them to turn out bad to prove yourself right, even though it would be counterproductive for your fantasy team, then they turn out good and it makes you feel stupid? That’s Bryan Reynolds for me. We should have a glossary term for that. Please suggest in the comments.

Jose Miranda – 0-for-2 as he was called up by the Twins to seemingly sit on the bench for two to three weeks then be sent down again.

Bailey Ober – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 12.79. Sonavabench! Getting borked vs. the Royals and dominating the Dodgers? Oh, I see! You’re passive aggressive! Very cute!

Shohei Ohtani – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 3rd homer. Someone hammered the over.

James Outman – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. Damn, and you dropped him already after a full week and half of games! Bummer.

James Paxton – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.64. Watch him be the best Dodgers starter. Kidding. He’s pretty mediocre.

Jesus Luzardo – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 7.20. Welp, I wanted to bench him, but sucked in by the two-start week. More like a two-star move (out of hundred stars) by me.

Juan Soto – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Sexy Dr. Pepper with the pop!

Anthony Volpe – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. One of the hottest early bats, and that he’s not hitting leadoff for the Yanks gives you an idea how incredibly slow-to-react MLB managers are.

Nestor Cortes – 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.50. Think we’re at Streamonator level for Nestor still since this was vs. Marlins, but it likes his next start too.

Will Benson – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (2) Can Benson keep playing every day? Who cares! I care about Will Benson!

Elly De La Cruz – 3-for-4, 4 runs, and a double slam (1, 2) and legs (6). His 2nd homer was an inside-the-parker, and I could’ve sworn I counted only six steps from home back to home. The “Elly is overrated narrative” I’ve been pushing took a big hit, but there’s still roughly 95% of the season left, which is close to his K%, so we’ll see.

Graham Ashcraft – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.40. Streamed Ashcraft in a bunch of leagues (while benching Luzardo, but not benching Luzardo everywhere really is still killing my vibe as I continue to write these blurbs. Jesus! Literally!), and it only turned out a bit better because Dumb Bell took forever to pull him.

Aaron Ashby – 3 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 9.82. In most leagues, he’s likely a streamer, but if you’re in deeper leagues, and Ashby is out there, I could see grabbing him. He’s always been parts better than sum (10.6 K/9, 3.29 xFIP last year), but parts better than sum turns into a little sum-ting sum-ting at sum point sum times.

Brice Turang – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer. If he ends up with 45+ steals (easily within range of his talents), it’s gonna be hard for him not to be valuable.

Christian Yelich – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. My Yelich MVP ticket is burning a hole in my pocket! Let’s go!

Ivan Herrera – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 2nd homer. Know what’s not great if you’re the Cards? It feels like they need to trade away a guy for him to get playing time and break out.

Spencer Turnbull – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 0.00. Time to look at him! [opens his player page] Nice…very nice…very, very nice! So, 10.6 K/9, 0.8 BB/9, but way too soon to say anything definitive. His velocity is at its lowest, but he might’ve found a better pitch mix for himself. Willing to pick him up to see if it’s real, but I’m not convinced yet Spencer won’t turn to bullshizz.

Jeff Hoffman – 1 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.38. Grabbed him to vulture saves, because I had a feeling and Hoffman came in the 9th for the save and, oh boy, check out my premonition, baby! Then he blew his 2nd save.

Brandon Marsh – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 3rd homer. Bra-Ma is hot, oh God, why did I have to nickname him that?!

Marcell Ozuna – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. We talk about Ozuna on this week’s podcast. He was basically free in drafts, and it’s not exactly clear why.

Julio Teheran – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER in his 1st start with the Mets. He’s gonna fit in perfectly!

Brandon Nimmo – 4-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 1st and 2nd homer. Nimmo found two!

Tyler Anderson – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 0.0000000000000000. Tyler Anderson, 2024 AL Cy Young.

Mike Trout – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Sell! Seriously, if you have him, and expect more than 100 games, you’re a sweet, naive baby. I want to wrap you in a blanket, put you in a basket and float you down a river.

Zach Eflin – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 6.35. Effin’ Eflin.

Jake Bird – 1/3 IP, 0 ER and his 1st save. Rockies have kept it close to their vest who their closer would be. Or, they simply haven’t won many games or any close ones.

Blake Snell – 3 IP, 3 ER. Bit of a rocky final rehab start. When does he return to the majors? Oh.

Lane Thomas – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Too bad! Already dropped him for Random Schmohawk #3!

Yu Darvish – 3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.86. Not being spiteful, but, after what he did to me last year, I love Yu on your teams, and not mine.

Jake Cronenworth – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, as he hits third. He also has a 40+% line drive rate, which is shrieking in a high-pitched voice, “It’s still really early!”

Fernando Tatis Jr. – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. Fun the Jewels fast!

Xander Bogaerts – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. For a guy who only hits two months a year, and one of them is April, it’s about time he did something.

Adbert Alzolay – 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.86, and the blown save. All closers are brutal to roster in April except Evan Phillips.

Jose Ramirez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. He’s so fun. Have nothing else to say. He’s just super fun to watch. We love JoJoRam.

Triston McKenzie – 5 /3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (4 BBs), 2 Ks, ERA at 4.00. He looked bad. Like, malnourished. Oh, his pitching? Not great either. If this wasn’t vs. the White Sox, he would’ve been rocked.

John Brebbia – Hit the IL with a calf strain. Can’t spell Brebbia without BRB, but for now the Bullpen Chart is updated.

Luis Robert – Will miss two months. Mentioned this on the podcast a few weeks ago, but I know some of y’all don’t listen. I heard recently about how poker was the perfect balance of luck (cards have a certain randomness) and skill (not totally random if you know what you’re doing). I was thinking fantasy baseball is like this, just a perfect mix of luck and skill. Is it luck if you had Luis Robert last year and avoided him this year? Yes, I would say so, but also skill. Was it skill or luck me telling you to avoid him last year and draft him this year? Both. If the draft price is good, then it’s worth the risk. Was the risk always there whether it was last year or this year? Yes.

Jose Berrios – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.45. Thank you, War Room!

Luis Castillo – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 6.89. Please don’t let him be hurt. Purdy purdy please.

Cal Raleigh – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. When he went to the plate, people in the front row cheered, screaming for joy, seeing the 2nd moon eclipse of the day.