Please see our player page for Mitch Keller to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The White Sox front office announced that top pitching prospect Dylan Cease could be up in July. My guess is it will be post All-Star Break, which by and by is the perfect time to make roster moves while the rest of your league is in rest mode. Cease is one of my favorite pitching specs, even though he hasn’t had the best of seasons in Triple-A (4.10 ERA) and his player photo looks like a second grader who was told to say ‘cheese’. I still think Cease is one of the best stashes for the second half of 2019 and will eventually round into a 2/3 starter in the majors. Here’s what else is happening around the minor leagues…

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Chris Archer (6 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.73) allowed four homers to the first five hitters he faced in the 2nd inning.  The only way things could look worse for Chris Archer and, specifically the Pirates, is if Austin Meadows hit all four homers wearing different colored sombreros.  “Hola!  I am Austin Prairieritto!”  “Hola!  I am Tijuana Meadows!”  “Hola!  I am Roberto Hernandez!”  “Hola!  Imagine my exclamation marks are in the front of my sentences but upside down!”  Okay, I’m Daffy like a duck talking about a Spanish Meadows when it was the Braves who mollywhopped Archer.  A Spanish Robert Loggia, “Archer is a pitcher that don’t throw straight.”  As I said yesterday, it’s not whether the record of four straight hitters with a home run is going to fall this year, it’s only how soon and with how many homers total.  8 straight hitters with a homer?  9?  12?  Yesterday, Brian McCann (2-for-4, 4 RBIs) hit his 4th and 5th homer, going Yardo Montalban hitting them where da plane da plane goes.  Josh Donaldson (1-for-4) hit his 9th homer, managing to control his Hulk-smash anger until the appropriate time — at the DMV.  Nick Markakis (1-for-2, 2 runs) hit his 6th homer for his 2nd Sparkakis in two days, and Ozzie Albies (1-for-3, hitting .270) hit his 10th homer, 3rd in two games.  ProContractsAreWhatWeKnow dot com said Albies earned $17.87 between homers.  Albies looks like he’s come out of his May funk, but he still has no place to move up in the lineup.  Well, maybe he can replace Austin Riley, whose average has dropped eighty points in a week.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Ah, June. Stats and standings have settled. At least a quarter of your league has given up. Hot dogs, school’s out, the beach, and Father’s Day. I myself was raised by a baboon troop in a controversial experiment at Stanford. Therefore, Father’s Day is less about cookouts and ties and more about giving thanks that I didn’t fall victim to competitive infanticide. Thanks, pops, for not letting that rival male kill me. Here’s a gift card to Home Depot and some figs. *Eats gift card, hurls figs at my head* Damn you and your primatology Sapolsky! I want a real father! Anyhoo, here’s a list of prospects I think will get called up in June. It’s not exhaustive, but definitely exhausting.

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Imagine discovering a band forty years after their relevant period. Then imagine you’re Grey Albright. Your mustache is thick and handsome, you run a fantasy baseball empire, and you just discovered the Blue Öyster Cult! Did anyone ask for more cowbell? Well, unfortunately we can’t provide you any sweet, sweet cowbell, but we can take you through the week in Fantasy Baseball, one outlandish conversation at a time. We of course spend half the show discussing recent call-ups, before diving into Josh Bell’s breakout, Brandon Woodruff coming of age, and if Rafael Devers is a top three round pick in the making. While we’re in good spirits I encourage Grey to take a victory lap for Adalberto Mondesi’s early returns, before running through some good adds for the week ahead. It’s the Razzball podcast, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges!   

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I hope everyone’s Memorial Day was filled with hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks that were meant to be saved until July 4th but were blown off yesterday so close to your ear that you still have a ringing, and all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert.  My Memorial Day was filled with eating and burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt, but that’s every Monday.  Eat a D, ISIS!  Yesterday, Gerrit Cole loved the troops more than most starters, posting a line of 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.02.  Woke SpongeBob, “Yo, dem high-ranked starters are da bomb dot org.”  Yo, WSB, you don’t sound so woke.  “Go f–k yourself.”  Wow, WSB, is lit!  Cole’s peripherals: 14.1 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 2.22 xFIP and is technically the number one starter in all of baseball if his luck was neutral. Don’t love trading for a top starter, but it’s hard to find a better buy low right now, due to his ERA.  He could rattle off 120 innings of a sub-1 ERA.  That’s Murica thru & thru.  Not spelling shizz out is Murica too.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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With the time when prospects are called up fast approaching, it’s appropriate for us to take this time to walk past the fallen rookies of the past. Sorta like the Rites of Passage walk on Survivor when they burn all of the Survivors’ belongings that didn’t make it to the end. When I write it out, it sounds like something Germany did in the 1940s. Any the hoo! I’m feeling nostalgic as we look ahead to some young players.  So, here’s what I wrote about what Keith Law wrote back a few years, “Here we have the number one pick in the 2008 MLB draft, Tim Beckham. Actual Keith Law quote, ‘(Beckham has) the best chance of anybody in this draft pool to be a superstar.’  Good stuff, Keith, thank you.  Next up, Jesus Montero and Zach McAllister. Actual Keith Law quote from a chatscript: Question, ‘Could Montero be an All-Star level 1B?’ Answer from Law, ‘Yes.’ So succinct, have to love that when you’re right. Question, ‘How do you project McAllister?’ Law answer, ‘At least a #3.’ At least! Hashtag nailed it.  These are fun, let’s do more! Another question posed to him, ‘I’ve heard contrasting things about Dustin Ackley’s power. Based on what you’ve seen what is Ackley’s ceiling in terms of HR/year?’ Keith, or Klaw as he calls himself, said, ‘I could see 20-25. I’d say Ackley’s chance for 30 HR power is 20%.’ Okay, one more (though I could do this all day) actual Keith Law quote, and this one is classic because he name drops his alma mater. In 2009, someone asked him, ‘Shouldn’t Teheran be higher on (Law’s prospect) list than Jeff Locke?’ Keith said, ‘Are you asking me or telling me? When I first got to Harvard, there was this variety show that some upperclassmen put on during freshman week, and one guy had a funny routine about ‘flexers’ — students who would ask bogus questions that were really designed to state opinions or try to show off knowledge. (Grey comment, “Sounds like a riot!”) Obviously, the answer is ‘no,’ since I ranked Locke over Teheran. It’s incredibly naive to ignore probability when ranking prospects.’ I do enjoy a pompous ass. I wonder if he has a post.harvard.edu email address. Of course, he does! His email is likely [email protected]”  And that’s me savoring in the deliciousness of Keith Law’s perception and humbleness!  This brings us to Tyler White and Yuli Gurriel–Wait, no it doesn’t.  It brings me to Yordan Alvarez and Kyle Tucker, the guys we’re hoping replace White and Yuli.  By the way, Yuli’s impersonation of a white man’s eyes — not cool.  Why do we care so much about Yordan and Tucker?  I mean, I even put them in the video at the top of this page.  We care because their Triple-A numbers are on par with Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s.  Yordan and Tucker are flat-out raking.  Yordan has been otherworldy; Tucker is on the 40-man roster and been other otherworldly for the last month.  Both guys should be up very soon and owned in all leagues until they’re either promoted, untenable to hold, stop hitting in the minors or are traded for Jeff Locke. Don’t make me do my funny routine about flexers.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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We get a fun one today because Miami Marlins prospect Chris Vallimont wasn’t on my radar. Last night, he threw seven no-hit innings and struck out nine batters. That gives him a 2.70 ERA on the season with a 10+ K/9 and a crisp 2.7 BB/9. All three stats are massive improvements over his performance last season. At 22, he’s probably just beating up on the younger competition in A ball, but there could also be a legitimate change in him that’s causing the success. Either way, I think he’s earned our attention moving forward in a Marlins system that features some nice pitching talent. Here’s what else is happening around the minor leagues…

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If it wasn’t bad enough that 11 of the top 30 starting pitchers drafted this year have an ERA over 4.00, now we’ve got an all-SP Ambulance Chasers. In the last two issues of Ambulance Chasers there were an additional 7 injured SPs for another grand total of 11. Hold your starting pitchers close — tell them you love them — you never know when they’ll be the next to go…

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Razzball is not responsible if you contract scurvy while reading this post. Ahoy readers! We’re on the high seas! Feel the wind on your face, the salty sea air in your lungs, and the vomit in your upper esophagus. You should have told us about the sea sickness before we left port. I’ll be guiding you through ten of the most notorious buccaneers in these waters. After a long night of cracking Jenny’s teacup, you’ll want to put up your peg leg(s), take a shot of rum, and enjoy a bit o’ light reading. Blow me down! I see booty ye bilge-sucking grog blossom!

Want to take me on in the RCLs? Join now, free to play!

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NL WestNL Central | NL East | AL West | AL Central | AL East

I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics.  You never know who the statistics are coming against.  Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level.  This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced.  You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach.  So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat?  Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards.  Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles!  Also pay attention to where Bryce Harper and Manny Machado sign… Note that those two signings can instantly eliminate some of the position battles detailed herein.

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