“My wrist, well, guys and gals, chicks and *icks, you’re not gonna believe this, but, it’s 100%. My wrist is healed. It’s the best it’s ever felt. My wrist feels like Elton John during his imperial phase. My wrist is playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, and people aren’t hearing crap, but they’re hearing a masterpiece. My wrist is Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, doing all kinds of crazy judo chops in the supermarket aisle, and people are believing it, and are riveted. My wrist is Ty Cobb without the racism. My wrist is perfect!” This was a quote from Alex Kirilloff this year, and last year, and the year before. He was called up by the Twins, and played 1st yesterday (1-for-2). Kirilloff has been struggling with wrist issues since 2021. Almost exactly two years ago, he tore ligaments in his wrist. Those are the worst kind of after-dinner mints. Why do we care? If he’s healthy, he’s a 40-homer hitter with a .280 average. Sadly, we don’t know if we’re ever getting the purported strong-wristed Elton John or a limp-wristed Kirilloff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Spencer Turnbull
Please see our player page for Spencer Turnbull to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Ump Produces Sticky Substance Perusing Skin of Max
April 20, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 319 Commentsby: Grey
Max Scherzer was cruising, as is often the case with Max Scherzer — had a line of 3 IP, 0 ER — when he was ejected for having (what the umpires believed to be) a foreign substance on his glove. Scherzer was screaming, “It’s rosin!” It seemed like the Pitchcom tape inside his glove because he calls his own game. It better — again, with some stank — IT BETTER check out as a foreign substance or all of those umpires should be suspended without pay for thirty games. Umps are power-mad idiots. You throw out a first ballot Hall of Famer for what you believe is something sticky? That’s absurd. You taint his legacy with some utter nonsense? Are you completely daft? Now, MLB instituted an automatic 10-game suspension for the offender, so Scherzer might miss another two starts due to this? Oh, this is some serious BS.
Max Scherzer was ejected between innings after a heated conversation with the umpiring crew. IN his place, the Mets brought in bizarro Max Scherzer, Schax Merzer. pic.twitter.com/Lwy0oRJEzl
— Razzball (@Razzball) April 19, 2023
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Maybe because Oneil Cruz casts a long shadow — a six-foot, seven-inch shadow — but this week feels especially geared towards replacing him, and there is no replacement, let’s be honest. Orlando Arcia definitely wasn’t replacing him. Orlando sounds like an either or with no right answer. Or…lando Calrissian is the only good that’s coming out of that question. He’s not the answer anyway; Orlando Arcia is hitting the IL with a microfracture in his wrist. Finally, the Braves have room for Ehire Adrianza! “Unless,” Alex Anthopoulos points at the dotted line on the contract that ties Vaughn Grissom up into a standard 14-year deal for $3 million that buys out arbitration years, pre-30 free agent years, and right-of-first-refusal to first-born son. Alex adds, “You have to call your boy, Andruw, in case we want to sign him, because it helps with merchandising.” Okay, yes, grab Vaughn Grissom in your league. He’s coming up! Yes, even that league! I gave you a Vaughn Grissom fantasy back in December, before I knew the Braves were going to play hardball off the field. A key takeaway there was when I said, “Last year in 141 MLB at-bats, (Grissom) hit .291. Maybe the .350 BABIP is a tad high. He’s fast though, so it might not be absurd. His 21.8% strikeout rate at 21 years of age is really the flashing light saying, “Hey, look at this! This is really good!” He didn’t come anywhere close to qualifying, but, if he had, his contact rate on balls in the zone of 89.9% would’ve been top 30 in the majors, around that of Andrew Vaughn (no relation) and Jeff McNeil. His strikeout rates in the minors were incredibly good, hovering between 11% and 14% depending on the stop in pro ball. He’s a guy you’re going to love to have in fantasy, and the Braves will because he’s going to keep getting on base.” And that’s me quoting me and totally misreading the Braves! But he’s here’s now and should be on your teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Top 100 Starting Pitchers For 2023: Week 1
April 3, 2023 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 16 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Welcome folx and family! We awake into a brilliant new year of MLB baseball where theft is common, the per-hour wages have increased nearly 10%, and random young minds are usurping the services of the veterans. It’s complete anarchy! And who better to guide you through the mean streets of MLB than your one and only host, EverywhereBlair. I’ve been doing this pitcher thing at Razzball for over three years now. I understand that you have a choice in which anonymous internet face you go to for fantasy baseball advice, and I’m proud to be your anonymous face. Whether you’re joining for the first time or have been there since my first Jake Odorizzi sleeper that had two subtitles, I’m happy to have you along.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
FAAB: Opening Weekend Bonanza
April 1, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, Drops, Adds and Holds | 16 Commentsby: Mike Couillard
Welcome to my weekly waiver wire FAAB column! We are going to dive into the meaning of Oswaldo Cabrera drawing the Opening Day left field assignment over Aaron Hicks’ lifeless corpse and the amount of your waiver budget to possibly blow on Graham Ashcraft and his filthy Corbin Burnes-esque stuff. For some basic understanding and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to the Weekend, RazzFam and RazzFriends! Last week, in Razzball Ambulance Chasers: Picking Up Where We Left Off With Harper, Albies, Tatis, and Others, I reminisced about the old days of early 2022. Luis Robert’s star was bright. Bryce Harper’s arms were almost as strong as his dad’s, and the Mike Trout discussion was…well…it […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Starting Pitchers: Second Half Edition
July 25, 2022 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 21 Commentsby: everywhereblair
It’s second-half baseball! Nothing more exciting than watching the race for the bottom. [thinks of headline to submit to TMZ] ENYWHEY. Enough about the Athletics. We’ve got one of these great years for the AL Central. The Minnesota Twins would be in 4th place in the AL East, but are somehow atop the leaderboard in the flyover division. The Twins wouldn’t be in first place in any other division in baseball except for our beloved AL Central, home to the Kansas City Royals and Detroit Tigers. Remember when those teams were threats, and Miggy and Beltran and Greinke and Scherzer and Verlander were all just little spuds waiting to be big potatoes? No you don’t remember them because you were born in this century and only stumbled upon my article because some TikTok star made fun of it? Welcome, junior! Let’s win you a fantasy league.
It’s the second half of the MLB season, so much like like our pants after seconds at the 4th of July picnic, we need to adjust.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2022: EverywhereBlair’s Rankings
February 21, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball | 34 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Hidey-ho neighborino! Is that phrase trademarked or just very, very old? Fine, let’s dismiss the formalities and get straight to the nitty-gritty: men who throw balls. Hard. We’re at the point in the pre-season where we understand that the MLB and MLBPA are definitely far, far away from any sort of agreement on a contract. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s actually a “realistic” contract that’s been shared between the groups and we’ll see that contract appear the first week of March, just in time for a shortened spring training and perfectly-timed Opening Day. But that’s just me spitballing labor negotiations, and what do I know other than the chords to every song on Green Day’s Dookie album? I suppose I know pitchers somewhat well, and wouldn’t you know it — I’ve got a pitcher listicle for you! A Pitchsticle!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ambulance Chasers: Son of a Pitch!
February 5, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 7 Commentsby: keelinbillue
Razz-a-ma-tazzers, there are two rules at Razzball that I made up*:
At Razzball, we keep our promises to bring you honest news about pain.
At Razzball, we also provide you with actionable fantasy baseball insights.
*Razzball leadership did not sanction or approve of these two rules.
In this edition of Ambulance Chasers, I will provide you with an MLB lockout update as well as a BONUS 2022 SP injury update and outlook.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2021: Week 24
September 13, 2021 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 11 Commentsby: everywhereblair
All I ever wanted for Christmas was to see Robbie Ray get all worked up. And Santa brought me my gift early this year! Maybe you casual fans just want to see Lance Lynn get worked up, but when Robbie Ray and the Orioles manager get into a tongue-lashing, that’s the kind of baseball I want to see! Yeah, things are getting pretty slow here on the baseball side. On the plus side, I’m in the top 20 in RazzSlam. On the downside, the cutline only sends the top 10 to the playoffs. So, it’s kind of like I’m the benevolent tight-pants-loving lord of a small fiefdom that resides outside of Coolwhip’s kingdom. I beg thee, King Coolwhip, let Luis Severino pitch! How are all of your teams doing? Still active? Let’s see if we can find some pitchers for your fantasy playoffs!
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2021: Week 23
September 6, 2021 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 9 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Just got back from the First Annual Razzball Flag Football Competition, where we took on Bishop Sycamore in a battle of the fake schools. As expected, Donkey Teeth served as a quarterback while Grey stood on the sidelines wearing his “Coach” attire. It was a little weird to see him wandering around with a $10,000 handbag, but I don’t judge. Rudy called the plays, although his reliance on bootleg plays 90% of the time really underestimated DT’s ability to turn left. He’s a donkey, Rudy! He goes forwards! Besides from DT being stubborn, the game played out fairly nicely, with yours truly spraining an ankle in the first 30 seconds and then spending the next hour watching the game from the shade of a tree with a little adult beverage. In the end, Bishop Sycamore defeated the Razzballers 122-6, our only points coming from an accidental pick-6 when Coolwhip designed a replica Bishop Sycamore jersey and snuck onto the other team. Their rosters were so confusing they didn’t notice. On to the Greinke graphic and the pitchers! Hut, hut, hike!
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2021: Week 22
August 30, 2021 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 18 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Fantasy playoffs! I don’t kink shame here. If you’re Googling “MLB Playoff Fan Fiction,” that’s your thing. My thing? Ranking pitchers in a giant table. We’re down to the last month of the MLB regular season — and many fantasy leagues are in the playoffs already — so you’ll want to start any hot hand you think will help your team. Within reason, of course. We’re going to see a lot of rookie starters called up, and even with their immense hype (see Cabrera, Edward), they can still put up lackluster performances that don’t really help your cause. As always, consult Rudy’s Streamonator Tools (and if you’re not subscribed, where have you been? Jump in and support us!) and check-in with the writers throughout the week. We’re here to help!
Please, blog, may I have some more?