Please see our player page for Blake Snell to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Do you remember the last time you swung and missed?

Maybe it happened at your beer league softball game? Or maybe it was during last week’s company-wide meeting when you thought you’d tell that funny story about the peanut butter thing but screwed up the beginning, and nobody laughed—not even Amber from accounting who giggles at everything—so you sat down all hot faced, feeling stupid all day?

Or maybe you’re thinking of that day you finally asked out Amber from Accounting, and that time she did laugh?

Nobody likes to swing and miss, is all I’m saying. And nobody likes that awkward what-what of trying to save a story from a bad opening line. Here’s some baseball-related proof:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One word about this top 100 for 2019 fantasy baseball, before I give you another 5,000 words.  I’m going to avoid repeating myself from the position rankings in the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.  If you want to know my in-depth feelings about a player, then you need to go to his positional page, i.e., the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball, the top 20 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball, the top 20 Gucci handbags for 2019– Ah, I almost got you.  This post is meant to give you an idea where guys from different positions are in relation to each other.  Since this post is only the top 100, there’s more players where this came from.  471 more, to be very exact.  Next up, there will be a top 500 that will go to 571.  Then, after that, there will be a top 7,500 that will go to 8,602, then a top 25,000 that will go to 28,765, then a top 600,000 that will go to 892,121, until we end up with a top kajillion in April that will go to a kajillion and one.  Or maybe I’ll stop at the top 500.  Yeah, that makes sense.  Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel.  Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2019 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.”  Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters.  Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter!  Also, the online Fantasy Baseball War Room is, uh, online.  It might be a little wonky still, but working out kinks.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The royal we already went over all the hitters for 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.  That’s not the “royal we” as that term usually implies.  It was me writing it alone while wearing a Burger King crown.  I refuse to draft a top starter where they are usually drafted.  Unlike hitters, you need six starters, depending on your league depth.  Simple math tells us there’s plenty of starters to go around.  Simple Math also says, “Stop putting words in my mouth!”  Simple Math has an attitude problem.  Simple Math says, “Try counting on your fingers without me!”  In most leagues, there’s a ton of pitchers on waivers that can help you — all year.  Not just in April.  With the help of the Stream-o-Nator, you can get by with, say, three starters while streaming the rest.  There’s also the fact that three stats by starters are difficult to predict due to luck.  Wins, ERA and WHIP are prone to change, depending on which way the ball bounces and whether or not the guys behind the pitchers can score runs.  Finally, the best starters can give you four categories.  The best hitters can give you five categories.  As always, where I see tiers starting and stopping are included and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I think of Blake Snell, all I can hear is Sheek Louch’s voice in ‘Wild Out’ from The Lox…

What’s a pitcher gotta do to make a half a million?! Must I wave it at your children?

In other words, what more than a Cy Young award does the left handed throwing Ace have to do to prove he is one of the best pitchers in Baseball?! Looking at ADP, it feels flat out disrespectful! But then at the same time, maybe it’s not. And even if it is, does it mean you should draft him? We went over it all, so you don’t have to!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every once in a while Grey and Rudy will head down to the local Jewish bakery and buy bagels for everyone at Razzball Headquarters. Special occasions, birthdays, Earth Day, or just to let us all know we’re loved. (Note from Grey: it’s not a bakery, it’s a dumpster, and it’s not ‘buy,’ per se.) Of course there’s always that one bagel, whole wheat or multigrain (Note from Grey: those aren’t multigrains) or something equally boring, which sits untouched until all the other bagels are demolished.

I do have to admit, once you toast that circle of whole wheat dullness and lather it with excessive amounts of cream cheese (NfG: it’s not cream cheese either), it’s still pretty damn tasty. While it’s not an onion or sesame or, the Holy Grail, asiago cheese bagel, it’s still a bagel which someone will end up devouring.

For me, head to head points leagues are the whole wheat bagels of fantasy baseball. While it’s not a roto league or even a head to head categories league, it’s still a form of fantasy baseball, which can satisfy my incurable fantasy baseball addiction until the next dose arrives. So when Scott White of CBS Fantasy Sports became desperate enough to invite someone with the name “Donkey Teeth” into his industry points league mock draft, I pounced on that drug-filled wheat bagel like the starving fiend I am.  (NfG: I could’ve sworn I removed all syringes from the bagels prior to bringing them back)

Here’s the points scoring system and roster positions used for this particular mock draft:

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All the final 2018 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters are done.  For those that skipped today’s title, this starts the top 20 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball.  This is NOT for 2019 (caps for those who can’t read titles; supposedly it’s easier to read caps, I have my doubts).  This is a recap.  Actually, RECAP, literally.  Will these affect next year’s rankings?  Sure.  But not entirely.  To recapitulate, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  We’re (me’re) using it to fairly gauge our (my) preseason rankings.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

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My 2018 fantasy baseball season may be over, but my 2019 fantasy baseball season has just begun! Justin Mason of Friends with Fantasy Benefits is hosting a series of #2EarlyMocks with fantasy baseball analysts from around the web and he was kind enough to invite me to participate in one of them. For me, it’s never #2Early. Hell, I’ll do a mock draft for 2024 if anyone is willing to host one! I’ll be taking Blaze Jordan #1 overall!

Below you’ll see the first 7 rounds of the 28 round draft. I was assigned the 1st overall pick — which for round 1 (in my opinion) is pretty boring. However, from there it gets interesting — you have a long time to wait and watch a lot of baseball’s top 20 players go off the board. I’ve included each selection’s 2018 ADP ranking so you can see who has gained/lost the most value. Something to note — the number I’ve written below isn’t their actual ADP — just the rank that ADP falls among all players. For example, Christian Yelich’s ADP was actually 41.3, but that leaves him ranked as the 40th player taken off the board — hence the 40.

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Welcome back for another star-studded event!  Assuming you hack into your favorite online dictionary and replace the definition of ‘star’ with “guy who lives in his mom’s basement and screams when someone finishes his Doritos,” and next to the definition of ‘stud’ you put a picture of yourself.  The Razzballies are the only award show where it’s totally fine to show up in sweatpants, and for your fingers to be orange from Cheetos.  We don’t judge.  We will occasionally mock.  Mock-judge, tomato-tomahto.  Get over it!  But don’t mock Judge, that’s not all right.  I hope you enjoyed the clip show where I inserted myself into various baseball clips from this year.  How about the clip where I was Kris Bryant learning about launch angles from David Eckstein?  Hee-lar-e-us!  So, before I’m talking to no one but a room full of seat-fillers, here’s the year-end awards for the best and worst of fantasy baseball:

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Emerging from your parents’ basement, blocking the sun with your hand, “Mother, did you see wash my underwear?  Mother?”  You shake her shoulder and her head falls off and the skull rolls into the kitchen.  You casually pick up the head, “Mother, did you do my laundry I asked for back in March?”  You move your mother’s jaw bones, “Yes, sonny boy.  How did you do in your fantasy league?”  “Thank you for asking, mother.  I achieved great success.  Let’s tell father.”  You turn to a sack of potatoes wearing an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt and glued-on corn cob pipe.  “Father, we have won our fantasy league.  It was great fun.  Now it’s back to spending time with the family.”  And that’s how you incorporated yourself back into family life.  Well, we can’t all be winners like that gent, but it is time to lick thy wounds if you lost and razz thy neighbors if you won.  So, hopefully, let’s razz on, Razzers.  Unless your league counts game 163, then it’s still on like Steve Wiebe playing Donkey Kong!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Here we go yo. Here we go yo. So what so what so what’s the scenario. I’ll tell you what the scenario is. I’m not sure if I’m “throw my laptop against the wall” angry or just “fuck it I’ll drink another TreeHouse IPA and maybe punch the wall later” angry. Either way, I’m not happy. I just lost in the two-week finals of my eighteen year head-to-head points league by nine points. Nine points! How did I lose? Let me count the ways. But before I do, a little background information. In eighteen years I have four championships, including last year. No one else has four, or a back-to-back championships. I have two second place finishes (now three), and three third place finishes. I get it, as far as you know I could be playing in a league with eleven guys that rode the short bus to school. Heck, they still might. Not that there is anything wrong with anyone that rides the short bus, but the point is that I’m telling you all how well I’ve done in this league and you have no idea how strong the competition is, or is not. Here’s what I will say, eight of the owners are owners I from whom I’d seek advice if they weren’t in my league. I’m not a fan of several of the league’s rules, but they are enforced upon us all and that keeps us on a level playing field.

Please, blog, may I have some more?