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Please see our player page for Marcell Ozuna to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Okay, I’m going to try to show you my 2024 LABR team, but I have to warn you, if your parental controls are too high on your browser, you might not be able to see my team. If, for unstints, you have your Chrome browser at PG-13, you won’t even see my outfield. To help those people, and I’m only going to do this this one time, J*lio Rodriguez and A*ron J*dge are both in my outfield, and, ya know what, that’s not even the sexiest outfielder.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The good news is the top 20 outfielders for 2023 fantasy baseball are better than the top 20 3rd basemen. The unfortunate news is, if you had a five-outfielder league, you need at least 60 of these guys, and by the time we get through 40 in our next post, we will have already run dry of solid outfielders. Outfield isn’t shallow, but I wouldn’t say it’s deep either. This end-of-the-year ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2023 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

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Emerging from your mother’s basement after six months, “I did it! I won my fantasy baseball league!” It begins to dawn on you that the world no longer looks as you remember it. Where there were once blossoming trees, there’s now decaying branches. Where flowers once sprouted, shriveled vines remained. A tumbleweed blows past. Minutes later, back in your mother’s basement, you’ve painted a face on the tumbleweed and you say to it, “Can you believe I won my league by two points?” After a brief pause, you say, “Do you think I should keep Christian Encarnacion-Strand in an 11-team keeper league with no restrictions? Mr. Tumbleweed, I’m asking you a question.” On a serious note, as many of you know, I started Razzball during the WGA strike of 2007-08, because I was laid off from a job and didn’t have shizz to do. (Since it is invariably asked, I was working with a Zucker brother of Airplane/Naked Gun fame.) This summer with the WGA strike happening again, I was reminded how lucky I am to have this gig, talking about fantasy baseball and just generally goofing off with all of you. Thank you for another great year! (Crazy that those trees were decaying and I still got some freakin’ sap!) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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It had been too long since we had a Mets appearance in the lede area. The last time I believe was Brett Baty, who then went oh-for-three months and was sent down. Before that it was Max Scherzer, who was having a HOF career to that point…or maybe it was Justin Verlander, who was also a first ballot guy…or was it Pete Alonso, who has the 2nd lowest BABIP of the last 20 years (.204. There have been 4,105 hitter seasons since 2000 of 450 PAs. Pete Alonso’s BABIP is only better than Aaron Hill’s .196 in 2010). No, no, no there’s no curse. It’s not the Curse of Bill Buckner’s Eternal Soul. This is all random chance. Congrats to Francisco Lindor (4-for-7, 6 RBIs and his 28th, 29th and 30th homer) on a great doubleheader. Here’s to many successful years trying to do anything worthwhile in a Mets uniform. I’m sure it will come very easy. I kid, of course. The Mets feel like the NL East’s answer to the Padres. How many games should they have won vs. how many did they? Maybe an extra 25 games? There’s a parallel universe where the Padres and Mets are meeting in the NLCS. In that parallel universe, ARod is your father. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was announced on Saturday that Shohei Ohtani is done for the year. Though, it doesn’t mean he’s done with the Angels. He can re-sign–I am effin’ around! Of course he’s done with the Angels! Be thankful he doesn’t return to Japan after playing with the Angels. He left the Angels and a 212-pound Tim Salmon was lifted off his shoulders. A 20-year Rally Monkey’s Paw curse that festered under his skin for years must now be exfoliated away with Mariners’ skin cream. Thank God, Ohtani was able to walk away from that barge of bad luck in Anaheim. The Angels turn even the most bright-eyed, bushy-tailed among us into Danny Glover on a toilet about to explode. As Ohtani emptied his locker, it became clear the Angels were one of the best teams to stream against these final two weeks, and Sawyer Gipson-Long (5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.70) took advantage. Long made short work of the Angels, but is he actually, pause for drama, good? He has three pitches (four but uses three).

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The Braves/Phils is America. It’s just excess on top of excess. It’s beautiful. It’s like a blooming onion on top of poutine. Sure, one of those things is Australian and one is from Montreal, but that’s exactly right. America co-ops your excess and makes it more excessive in the rebrand. That’s the Braves/Phils. Excessive in its rebrand of baseball. Plus, no pitching. The star last night (for fantasy, at least) is the same star of the last two months since the standing ovation — Trea Turner going 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and a slam (26) and legs (27). When you think about it, Treat Urner started playing well after he received positive reenforcement, like every other Treat Urner I know. Next up in this game was two Braves hitters who have been doing this all year: Matt Olson going 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 51st homer. Praying to Allahson for nine more! Then, we had Ronald Acuña Jr. going 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 37th homer. Tildaddy said you can help him take off his shoes! Then Marcell Ozuna went 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 34th homer. Hey, if the Braves are hitting, I look at the pitcher facing them and think, “If he dies, he dies.” Enter: Zack Wheeler going 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.70. Sadly, he ran into the Braves-saw. Then, not to be outdone for the Phils, Nick Castellanos went 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 23rd homer. The wind was blowing southwest off the Greek God of Hard Contact’s mother’s mustache and the ball sailed out for everyone. Finally, Bryce Harper went 2-for-3 and his 17th homer. On one side of my brain, I’m like, “No two players are the same.” On my other side, I’m like, “Ohtani and Dominguez are going to take two months to hit for power even after they return to games.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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At the mid-summer break, Ronald Acuna Jr. And Shohei Ohtani appeared to be runaway favorites for Most Valuable Player awards.  However, so much has changed in the last month bringing the National League MVP into question.  Over the month of August, Mookie Betts did his best Barry Bonds in April 2004 impression (look it up if you need!).  Betts put up a blistering month with a .455 average, 10 homers, a ridiculous combined 75 runs plus RBI and 1.355 OPS.  Not only did that month give Mookie a chance in the MVP race where Acuna has produced a never before seen 30/60 season, but it also shakes up the big names of our Top 100 hitters for the rest of the 2023 fantasy baseball season.  We are in the final month of the season and hopefully you are staring down a potential championship trophy while your competitors have moved on to football in despair.

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Sadly, Spencer Howard was released by the Yanks. Shame, their big trade deadline acquisition just never caught on for them. The release of their big-name acquisition signals a changing of the guards by the Yikes. First, Donaldson, now Spencer Howard. Who’s next Jake Bauers? Now, let’s not talk crazy! They also put Harrison Bader on waivers, and the writing’s on the wall, and the rumors are swirling like orange and vanilla for the creamsicle of the future: Jasson Dominguez. He’ss cominguez. You need to grab him now and see how it plays out. If he’s not any good in his first go around, then *raspberries lips* and drop him. So, why such hype? He’s the truth. Looking at a guy who could put together a 20/40 season over 162, and he might be the last of the red-hot call-ups. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?