Cash Cowser

Holy Cowser! Baltimore Orioles outfielder and heartthrob Colton Cowser continued to hit all the baseballs Friday night providing the only offense for the O’s going 2-for-3 with a home run, double, and a walk. The breakout bird is now slashing an insane .481/.500/1.037 with a 1.537 OPS through just 27 at bats, with three homers, 12 RBI, and a steal. The three homers have all come within the past two games and he’s now hit safely in four straight. The 0.8 WAR is also top 10 in the league, nerds! Don’t have a cow, man, but a Cowser? You probably want one of those. The former fifth pick in the 2021 draft bat .330 with 10 homers and 40 RBIs at AAA last year but struggled in the bigs hitting just .115 in 23 games. Fast forward to spring, Colton slashed a very respectable .304/.418/.717 with six bombs and 13 RBI, good enough to make the team over many other highly touted prospects. The expectation was that Cowser could be on the short side of a platoon but I’m not sure how they can bench a stud like Colton with a .500 OBP right now. The fear with Cowser is all the OTHER O’s mega prospects that are lurking right behind him. No, not just Jordan Westburg and Jackson Holliday who have been underwhelming so far. I’m talking about the boys at Norfolk itching to make it to the show. Like Heston Kjerstad, who hit his seventh home run Friday night at AAA to up his average to .396 with 26 (!) RBIs, and Coby Mayo who hit his fourth and fifth home runs Friday night batting a real purdy.386 through just 13 games. Sweet sassy molassy! If I’m the Orioles GM I’m like, chill, I need everyone to calm down so I can explore the trade market real quick. No one’s making a trade in the second week of April. Still, a trade might be the quickest path to seeing all these youngsters playing together by summertime. Anyway, back to Cowser! The lurking phenoms are just fueling him to play even harder to stay in the line up, and now starting four straight games I don’t see him riding the pine while he’s hotter than a Sydney Sweeney romcom. Grey told you to BUY, and it’s time to grab the bull, err, Cowser by the horns, and add him everywhere he’s available.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Freddy Peralta – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 11 K, 2nd win. We are witnessing the emergence of a fantasy Ace, guys and four girl readers (hi mom!). He’s third in the league in strikeouts with a 26/2 K/BB, and his 0.68 WHIP is also good for top five in the bigs. Add the fact that this Orioles team is one of the most feared in all of baseball and he made them look like the White Sox, I’d be pretty happy I drafted him too. Good for you!

Jackson Chourio – 0-for-6, 3 K as he led off and the Brewers scored 11 (ELEVEN). Oof! Ticker tease!

William Contreras – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (3), 2 RBI. He’s got an eight game hitting streak hitting .440 with 3 bombs and 10 RBI in the past week. He’s the number 1 catcher on the player rater and you better believe he lets his brother know that every other day, and twice on National Siblings Day. I wonder if they’re as close as Jason and Travis.

Willy Adames – 3-for-5, 3 runs, HR (3), 3 RBI. A 400 foot double and a 3-run shot fueled a disagreement between Adames and James McCann leading to the benches clearing. Unclear what caused the scuffle but looks like Willy may have had some choice words for McCann after sliding into home. What do you think he said!? Hopefully nothing bad about Taylor Swift. Thems fighting words!

Gary Sanchez – 2-for-5, HR (1), 2 RBI. Sanchize! The first of many! Ehh, maybe…?

Bailey Falter – 5.1 IP, 4 hits, ER, 3 K, 1st win. The Revenge game! Bailey had this one circled on the schedule and Falter did not falter Friday night. He gets the Mess next week and I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though!

Cristopher Sanchez – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 3 BB, 6 K. Cris was supposed to buy the team lunch but overslept and forgot and they repaid him with no run support. That’ll show you! Bryce was looking forward to that Panera soup and sammy! Sanchez has looked like a decent streamer and gets a juicy matchup with Colorado at home next week. I will allow it!

David Bednar – 1.0 IP, K, SV (2). Bednar looked like his filthy, old self Friday night with a 1, 2, 3 inning for his second save of the year. You can probably drop your Aroldis Chapman shares now, but honestly, Roldy’s been even better! Why not own both?

Henry Davis – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBI. O, Henry! I knew you wouldn’t let me down. More intriguing than the three game hitting streak is the catcher eligibility he gained last night in most leagues after starting his 10th game there Thursday. I liked Henry as an outfielder but I love him at catcher!

Tarik Skubal – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 2nd win, 2.08 ERA, 0.75 WHIP. What’s up brother! The 20/4 K/BB! Yes, please! Special teams, special players, special plays! Tuesday!

Pablo Lopez – 4.0 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, 2nd L. How did I do? Did I do that right? I don’t really get it but for some reason I like it?

Mark Canha – 2-for-3, HR (3), 2 RBI. Canha geta what what!

Edouard Julien – 2-for-4, RBI. He went 3-for-4 with two bombs on Wednesday leading off so of course Manager Baldelli bats him ninth on Friday. I know, I know I’m being unfair. It actually says more that he was starting against the lefty at all, and with Correa looking like he’s headed to IL that likely means we’ll be seeing a lot more of EJ!

Kevin Gausman – 3.2 IP, 10 hits, 6 ER, 4 K, 2nd L. The good news is the velocity looked better. The bad news was everything else.

Daulton Varsho – 2-for-4, HR (1). It’s crazy what I would have traded you two years ago to get my hands on Varsho and his catcher eligibility. Now? Umm, any interest in Mark Canha or Edouard Julien? I can pick them up and we got a deal.

Ezequiel Tovar – 2-for-5, HR (3), 2 RBI, SB (2), batting .340. Zeke the freak! Dude’s batting close to .500 in the past week with a homer and two steals. He’s got seven extra base hits in 14 games and four straight multi-hit games, six in his last seven. He is a hot little potato right now!

Nolan Jones – 2-for-5, HR (1), 2 RBI. And he wasn’t even at Coors!

Ryan McMahon – 4-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBI slashing .415/.484/.623. Brendan Rodgers and Brenton Doyle also had three hits a piece as the Rox crushed the Jays for 12 runs on 20 hits. TWENTY hits, yes, I spelled it out, no cap all caps, notevencoors! McMahon who just had his eight game hitting streak snapped and picked up right where he left off with a four hit game. His .415 average leads all major leaguers, yes even Mookie, and he’s been hotter than a Livvy Dunne highlight reel. Yeah, you should probably add him before he’s owned everywhere.

Tanner Houck – 5.2 IP, 12 hits, 4 ER, 2 K. Speaking of Livvy Dunne’s boyfriend, Paul Skenes struck out eight in just 2.1 innings Friday night. That’s now 19 Ks in 9.1 innings if you’re tracking. As for Houck, I don’t want to talk about it. Tanner was victim of some bad, bad, defense. And a ground ball pitcher like Houck kind of relies on good D. Ugh. When a fanboy like Tyler calls you embarrassing, you know it’s desperate times.

Reid Detmers – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, 3rd win, ERA at 1.04. Just two runs allowed in 17.1 IP, and the 26/6 K/BB is also nice. Unclear how much of this is the lefty beating up on the Red Sox, who he matches up very well against, or the breakout for Reid we’ve been waiting on for a couple years now. I’d prefer the latter!

Taylor Ward – 1-for-5, 2 runs, HR (4), 3 RBI slashing .296/.321/.556. The Angels are like, kind of good? Is it weirder that they’re doing so well or that we’re surprised that a team with one of the players on the planet on it is doing so well?

Max Fried – 6.1 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 4 K, 1st win. 8.74 ERA and 1.85 WHIP. Consider this your opportunity to sell!

Marcell Ozuna – 3-for-4, HR (6), 3 RBI. 440 foot homer. Dude is slashing .360/.407/.760. He is tied for the league lead in homers and second in RBI with 16. And yeah, you definitely could have drafted him! Does that moment when you could have and you drafted Jose LeClerc instead keep replaying in your head? Right, ha, me niether.

Ronald Acuña Jr. – 2-for-4, run, 2 SB (6). Orlando Arcia also had three hits as the Braves scored eight runs on 14 hits. Braves still good, even if Ronald has homered just yet. Soon…

Michael Wacha – 6.0 IP, 10 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. Wacha wacha joke’s on you if you thought he had it easy versus the Mess. He does have a 17/4 K/BB ratio and gets the White Sox next week, and they’re an even bigger joke.

Luis Severino – 5.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 4 BB, 4 K. Gave up a home run to Salvador Perez (3). After a rough first start Luis Luis has gone 10.0 IP with just 2 ER allowed and an 17/6 K/BB. He’s been one of the only bright spots for this Queens pitching staff in the early going. How sad is that?

Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, HR (4). Albombsoooo!

Brett Baty – 2-for-4, run, 2 RBI, slashing .327/.365/.408. Baty call! Now has a seven game hitting streak, but I understand since it’s not 2023 we’re no longer interested.

Andrew Abbott – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 3 K, 1st win. Here’s your chance to sell! Andrew has looked seriously underwhelming against some of the leagues worst offenses. If you can’t strike out more than four White Sox, they should send you down. It’s Abbott elementary.

Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-4, HR (4), 3 RBI. His fourth bomb in four days! EDLC! The steals are there (6), the extra base hits (9) are there, he’s reached base safely in every game he’s played this year (1.105 OPS) and he’s literally the most electrifying player to watch in the league. I was scared of drafting him so high too but oh boy does brother look like a first round pick to me. Special players! Special plays!

Christian Encarnacion-Strand – 2-for-4, 3 RBI. I don’t understand batting CES in the three hole over a bonafide superstar star like Elly. As CEH owner I’m not complaining, but it’s puzzling.

J.P. France – 4.0 IP, 8 hits, 8 ER. 4 BB, 3 K. I see London, I see J.P. France, but hopefully never, ever again in my fantasy line up.

Adolis Garcia – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBI, 2 SB (4), slashing .315/.377/.593. The one no one wanted has looked like a top 10 player in one of the most dangerous lineups in baseball. But I don’t think we’re supposed to count his stats on Fridays so throw all this out and draft another injured starter instead.

Jonah Heim – 1-for-5, HR (2), 4 RBI. Rangers scored 12 runs on 12 hits, Jonah and the Whale has been okay to mid but just being in the Tejas lineup is cha-ching, dollar sign eyeballs. Keep it coming, bb!

Jose LeClerc – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, BB, 2 K. Manager Bochy gave LeClerc the vote of confidence after he blew the save on Tuesday so of course he removed him from the job two days later. LeClerc pitched the sixth and will continue pitching in low leverage situations until he “gets right.” Does this mean he’ll get a chance to win the job back? I don’t know! But for now, the Rangers have two more than serviceable options in Kirby Yates who pitched the ninth Friday, and David Robertson, both of whom have that coveted closer XP. Grey told you to BUY Kirby, and my guess is Yates gets the first shot based on last nights usage but DRob is the more popular add. Both need to be owned right now.

Kyle Tucker – 2-for-4, 2 HR (4), 3 RBI. My head to head match up was looking a little thin. Thanks Kyle!

Paul Blackburn – 6.1 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K.  Extended his shutout streak to 19.1 innings to open the year.  Paulie B continues to Blackburn through opposing lineups. His rise is like Saltburn with less bathwater slurpage. The ZERO ERA comes with a 0.72 WHIP, 11/3 K/BB and while he’s faced some awful lineups, he gets another one next week with the Cards at home. Will this end poorly? Or will Oliver inherit the entire estate and murder the whole family by exploiting them sexually? The answer might surprise you. Paul needs to be owned at least until he gives up a run.

Jesse Winker – 4-for-4, HR (1) slashing .361/.511/.528. That’s a riiippp for van Winker as he ties it in the ninth inning! Nationals baseball, baby: we scored a run.

Dany Jimenez -1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 2 K. Jimenez and not Mason Miller was called upon in the ninth to close this one out and he promptly surrendered a home run. I think it’s safe to say this is Mason Miller’s job to lose now. Emphasis on the losing.

Lawrence Butler – 2-for-3, HR (1), 2 RBI. The Butler did it! A 450 footer! Butler accounted for all the A’ss runs including the game winning single in 10th off Kyle Finnegan (0.1 IP, hit, ER, BB, L). The .179 average has been ugly but Butler is one to keep an eye on especially if you’re in some sort of Knives Out murder mystery situation.

Brandon Pfaadt – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 6 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. Pfaadt chance! 11 runs allowed in his past two starts he should fare better against the Cubs next week. I hope.

Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5, HR (1), 3 RBI. All ready for my draft! I’ve got my list of hitters to avoid that Grey got us. I laminated it so the March rain couldn’t make the ink run, not taking any chances this time. I’ll just leave it on this crumbling ledge while I rip fat vape clouds on my rooftop patio and–NOOOOOO TORENADO!

Lars Nootbar – 1-for-4, HR (1), 2 RBI. His biggest claim to fame is being Ohtani’s friend which is not nothing, especially now that we know the bar for being a decent friend to Shohei is incredibly low at the moment. But a home run in his season debut? Yes please! Thank you for being a friend!

Brendan Donovan – 3-for-4, 2 runs, RBI. I don’t love him either but he’s leading off and he’s hitting baseballs. Close your eyes and add him!

Masyn Winn – 2-for-4, 2 runs, RBI. Cardinals scored nine runs on 14 hits. Yes, they were very, very due. Now if only they’d trade these guys they could explode into superstars.

Bryce Miller – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, 2nd win, ERA at 1.96 ERA. At least one of my Mariners starters is reliable!

Ryne Stanek – 1.0 IP, 1 hits, ER, SV (2). Andres Munoz got the hold pitching a scoreless eighth with 2 Ks. It’s looking like Munoz will be used in the highest of leverage situationships which could leave plenty of ez save opps for Stanek in clean up duty. Add him if you’re as desperate for saves as I am for positive feedback.

Michael Busch – 2-for-4, HR (3) slashing  .293/.375/.585. Back to back games with a ding dong! He was a BUY, and if hot schmotatoes grow in a Busch that’s low hanging fruit and it’s picking season!

Jackson Merrill – 2-for-4, run, RBI, slashing .304/.407/.413. He also made this nifty catch. Some rookies get all the love, some I need to beg you to add. Jackson’s hitting close to .400 with two steals in the past week, but no, better stash a prospect that is still in the minors than grabbing one who’s hitting well in the bigs. Sarcasm!

Yoshinobu Yamamoto – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, BB, 6 K. Four starts in and Yoshi’s already got a problem with the Padres. They’re his kryptonite I guess! Perhaps San Diego scouted him all season hoping to sign, or knowing they’d have to face him a handful of times a year. The 21/4 K/BB still makes my pants tent grow (shout out LD!) and he should look much better against the lowly Nats next week.

Teoscar Hernandez – 1-for-5, HR (5), 2 RBI. Uncle Oscar leads the MLB in RBI with 17. Are you convinced yet the Dodgers signed him just to make Betts, Ohtani and Freeman look bad?

Fernando Tatis Jr. – 3-for-5, HR (5), 2 RBI. Slugging .548. One more time with skibidi ohio gyatt rizzzz! My gen-Z consultants are telling me this means bad things but it looked pretty good to me!

Shohei Ohtani – 3-for-5, HR (4). The Ohtani bomb. OK, I forgive you. In fact, I was never really mad, only misinformed. I’m sorry you have such terrible friends. I can relate. Let’s go back to the way things were, where I knew literally nothing about you, and all you do to be the best baseball player in the world. I think I know more about his friend Ippei now than I do about Ohtani. And that’s a-okay with me, folks! Speaking of best friends, Mookie Betts also hit his sixth, because of course he did :heart eyes emoji:. But wait there’s more! Max Muncy hit his third dinger, Manny Machado hit his third, Ha-Seong Kim hit his second, and Jake Cronenworth (a BUY) hit his third. Whew. There were more bombs in this game than Fallout pilot on Prime. Is it mid-July cause it feels like Derby Day! That’s eight total home runs in this game which is as many as the White Sox have hit combined as a team all year. The Dodgers lead the league with 24 homers, with San Diego slightly behind with 22. The rivalry vibes are definitely vibing early! We’re only in week three and we already have ourselves a NLCS preview! Make it happen, MLB!

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!