Please see our player page for Nolan Arenado to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

This lede is for Eric Hosmer’s (1B, #94) eyes only. Everyone else can scroll down to the rankings and comment on how Scooter Gennett deserves to be #1 overall. Is it just Eric and I now? Okay good. Eric. E-Dog. HOZ. My guy. You’re 94th. On a list of 100. If this keeps up–you’ll be #101 on a list of 100. That means you aren’t here. Or maybe you are if I can’t limit my list to 100 again for some reason. You have four hits in July. Four! That’s the same amount of Emmy nominations Queer Eye for the Straight Guy just got! For the Queer Eye squad, all things just keep getting better! For you, if you don’t start hitting less ground balls (62%!!!) things will just keep getting worse! If you keep striking out at the highest rate of your career (22.6%!) things will just keep getting worse! And if you don’t go back to your former approach to hitting — things will just keep getting worse for you…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

MLB ballplayers may be set apart as a different breed in terms of talent, but men finding out they’re going to be a father?  That’s an almost universal boost of pure “life is good” feeling. Add that to Justin Verlander‘s normal ace of all aces bag of tricks, and today could be one of those sublime virtuoso performances. He’s 9-4 with a 2.05 ERA and .83 WHIP and facing the bottom-dwelling Detroit Tigers.  If that’s not a number one pick, then I’m a Chinese jet pilot.  Now let’s look at a few more early-, middle- and late-round picks for your Draft…drafts!

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Yesterday, Trevor Bauer continued to keep the drool moist on his owners’ chins — 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.30.  The other day some ‘perts listed their biggest surprises of the 2nd half, and one (maybe more) talked about how surprised they were about Bauer.  Yeah, shocker.  *insanely long pause, staring straight ahead*  Really, really surprised.  *just a dead-eyed stare, slowly picks up Capri Sun, sips real slow on tiny straw, lets out long burp*  Yup, no one saw that coming.  Yesterday, it was too bad, Cody Allen had an epic Kazaam — 2/3 IP, 6 ER, moving his ERA up to 4.66.  I’m just going to sit down for a second.  Aw geez, it hurts to sit.  I’m going to lie on my stomach.  Make the pain go away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week there was an unfortunate hiatus from the Top 100 Hitters column as I was deep in the woods of Central New Jersey for my annual camping trip. Does Central Jersey exist? I was there — so I guess so.

I took a lot of time going player by player on these rankings so there are a lot of shake-ups in the rankings. I took a real close look at everyone’s numbers and tried my best to compare players 1 to 1 to see who I preferred. It can get rough comparing two players side by side. Do you prefer Player A with 60 runs, 5 HRs, 30 RBI, 20 SBs and a .285 average? Or Player B with 45 runs, 20 HRs, 50 RBI, 0 SB and a .245 AVG? In the end, unfortunately for this column — beauty is in the eye of the beholder — and I don’t mean the amazing MS-DOS dungeon crawler from 1991. Beauty is also in your roster construction — Player A might be really useful to you if you’ve got a bunch of slow-footed boobies out there.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When you’re hot for two straight weeks, you’re talking in sexy whispers on my earlobes.   If Avisail Garcia and Mike Trout are filming a body-switch movie, I never want it to end.  For years I’ve remarked — I’m a remarker, yo! — that Avisail looks like Mini Miggy, now he’s actually hitting like him.  “Miggy, that is the first time in two years we’ve made love without you screaming your back hurts,”  Mrs. Miggy rolls over.  Avisail Garcia smiles wickedly at the camera.  Yesterday, he homered two more times (3-for-6, 3 runs, 6th and 7th homers), and now has six homers in the last week, and he hit .330 last year.  Sure, we can pee in the electrical blanket by talking about his BABIP last year, but there is no excuse for Garcia being on waivers.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This weekend, I was kneeling in a garden, tending to my Monkey Face Orchid, when I heard some commotion outside my greenhouse.  It was my much, much older wife, Cougs, screaming, “Grey!  They’ve come for you.”  It was the Rockies, and they were trying to send me to the minors.  They trampled over my azaleas with their jackboots, dragging me through the soil, ruining my suspenders.  I tried to tell them, “You have the wrong man!”  Finally, they heard my pleas and checked my state ID card.  Before they left, I asked, “Who are you looking to send to the minors?”  They replied, “Jon Gray,” and I began to scream again, “Please!  Take me instead!”  So, Jon Gray was optioned to the minors.  Can’t say I fully blame the Rockies, but, of course, I can try.  Have the Rockies heard of underlying peripherals?  Sure, the results have been miserable, but it’s Coors and everything says Gray should be much better.  You really have a better replacement pitcher who is worth ruining your best pitcher’s confidence?  He has the 6th best xFIP in the league with an 11.6 K/9.  I honestly can’t even with the Rockies.  They are the worst.  Then, they brought up Raimel Tapia to fill the roster spot, so, of course, Tapia will sit on the bench.  WHAT THE HOLY EFF ARE THE ROCKIES DOING?!  Caps for emphasis and the hyperopic.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Zack Greinke went 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, hitting .300–Oops, sorry!  The only pitcher whose hitting stats matter are Shohei Ohtani, because he can’t pitch anymore.  That tracks logically.  Has any site that made Ohtani a hitter and pitcher clarified why?  Because there was public pressure to make him both?  Because he was going to do both?  Doesn’t every pitcher do both?  Ohtani’s not going to throw more than 50 IP this year, which is, what, a quarter of a full season for a starter?  That’s doing both?  I know, I’m just being a hater, but it does feel like there was a double standard given to Ohtani without him actually doing anything, and he had 25 IP thrown dating back to 2016.  Any hoo!  Greinke!  Yes, he was awesome again — 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.41.  His peripherals are also one of the few pitchers who is doing well that could do better — 9.4 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.35 xFIP.  His velocity is down two miles per hour and I’d be lying if I said I was going after him hard, unless, of course, he’s eligible as a hitter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Billy Ray Butler isn’t nicknamed “Country Breakfast” because he likes to eat his early morning meal outdoors. Currently a free agent, the 2012 All-Star is perhaps coming to the realization that his professional career might be over. “Moving onward” said Butler in a recent interview with designatedeaters.com when discussing his newest business venture that is literally beginning to explode. Approaching three bills on the scale, Billy knew he had to make some changes. But change is never easy, especially when said change interferes with one’s daily responsibility of stuffing one’s face. “But why eat less when you don’t have to. What if you could still eat as much as you want and still lose weight,” remarked Butler who was indeed looking like he was down to about two fifty. Billy’s latest craze, known as Fartio, promotes eating as much as you can. It stresses foods loaded with beans. Mexican meals are an excellent example. Other flatulence inducing foods such as chicken with broccoli, corned beef and cabbage and sausage and peppers are near the top of the list. The objective of Fartio is to head directly to one of Billy’s studios and jump on the treadmill, spin bike or elliptical and fart off those calories. “The place smells like the men’s room at Yankee Stadium during the seventh inning stretch, but it’s worth it,” said Matt Albers whose eating spiraled out of control after losing the closing gig in Milwaukee when Knebel went down earlier this season. All machines are equipped with barf bags for those overcome by the stench of rotting intestines. Pablo Sandoval credits his weight loss to Fartio. Many thought Butler’s venture would lay an egg, but instead his brand is being franchised across the country by ex-ballplayers such as Prince Fielder and Mo Vaughn. Rich Garces has taken the idea one step further and has an onsite Venezuelan restaurant run by his family. Needless to day, Billy Butler is blasting his way to a better body one fart at a time. If you struggle with weight gain perhaps Fartio can work for you too. To give it a try, call 888-4-FARTIO. And don’t forget Billy’s mantra “you can’t outrun a fart on a treadmill”…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Mets started Jerry “Mathers As The” Blevins yesterday (as a starter; not because the Mets are ‘bullpenning’ but because they are bullsh*tting), taking advantage of the Mets waving the white (person sitcom star) flag was everyone on the Dodgers.  First up, Enrique Hernandez (3-for-6, 3 runs, hitting .232) as he hit his 11th and 12th homer in Metco.  Or as Jesse Jackson would say, “Kike homered in Jaime town.”  By the by, players who Hernandez has more homers than (this is gonna make you cry):  Jose Abreu, Bregman, Dozier, Ozuna, Matt Chapman and Smoak, to name but a few.  I’ve been rocking Enrique — sounds Enrisqué! — for the whole year in an NL-Only league, but he doesn’t play every day (unlike all those schmohawks he’s besting on power).  Next up, Cody Bellinger (2-for-5, hitting .239) as he hit his 14th and 15th homer.  I get the sense that people think Cody’s absolutely bombing out his sophomore year.  Not close.  He’s not repeating his great rookie year (yet), but he is top 75-ish on the Player Rater and could easily be top 30 on the year with one extended hot streak.  Lastly, Max Muncy (2-for-5) hit his 15th homer, or as I like to call him, This Year’s Chris Taylor.  Muncy is having a legitimate breakout, or the Dodgers are slowly poisoning Taylor to make Muncy look great for a case of Muncyhausen By Proxy.  I think it’s the former, but a teamster smoking may not be the only one leaning on the latter.  To buy Muncy’s breakout, you have to buy a near-30% HR/FB, but he is top 35 for exit velocity, top 10-ish for hard contact percentage, and 2nd for Barrels.  What does all this mean?  The breakout looks real and beautiful.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Not a lot of us saw this major league breakout coming from Jesus Aguilar. We were all expecting an awkward OF & 1B battle in Milwaukee between Eric Thames and Ryan Braun. Then here comes Jesus walking on the waters of Lake Michigan from Cleveland to Milwaukee to become an All-Star with the Brew Crew (he should be — stay tuned.) Maybe we all should’ve seen this coming — in 655 minor league at-bats in 2016 Aguilar hit 40 HR and 114 RBI. The average was only .261, but in the Indians minor league system he has some high average seasons (2011: .288; 2013: .291; 2014: .304.) Aguilar has already dropped his strikeout rate from 30% to 24.6% and if that number continues to go down while his contact rate continues to climb — Jesus’s ascension could continue.

Please, blog, may I have some more?