Jeremiah Jackson 5 Homers Singing I Want You Back, Back, Back

O’s have a genuine Jackson dilemma on their hands as Baltimore’s fill-in second baseman slash heartthrob is up to a Jackson five homers with this huge bomb in the eighth to give the Orioles the lead Friday night. Joy to the World! I thought Jeremiah was a bullfrog, but he looks more like a bull. The 26-year old is now slashing .317/.323/.600 with five home runs, 17 RBI, and a .923 OPS! All five of his tanks have come within the past week, where he’s batting .429 with 13 RBI. Best week ever! The 1.130 SLG in that stretch is pretty wild on its own for a guy who hit as many dingers (5) in 48 games last year. But hey, this is why we get romantic about baseball, Brad Pitt. Considering Pete Alonso’s slow start, and Gunnar unable to hit anything but homers, this team would be in some real trouble without Jeremiah Jackson right now. So wait, where’s the dilemma? Action Jackson is raking, what’s the prob? So glad you asked. Orioles starting second baseman slash original heartthrob Jackson Holliday is reportedly ready to return from the IL, and Jeremiah is currently playing his position. Uh-oh? This sounds like some real Alix v. Alex sized drama, and I’m here for the Tea. Hope it gets messy! In reality, the Bullfrog leads the O’s in WAR so there should be no discussion about his playing time as long as he’s doing what he’s doing. Mr. Manager Alvarez should find a place for him no matter what. How-to-the-ever, JJ did just send a line drive into Mr. Manager’s face days ago, and unclear how much shade is being held against him. I know! The tea is piping, y’all. Piping hot like Jackson’s bat, who’s clearly got the clutch gene flowing through his cold blooded Bullfrog veins. How many game winning homers is that? It’s not just his offense, though, which has been unreal (see, statz), Jeremiah has also held down second base, playing elite defense in Holliday’s stead. Whatever the O’s decide to do, they may not want you back so soon Jackson Holliday, and regardless, JJ has earned his chance at every day at bats going forward. I know it’s April, and this could end sooner than later, but if Jackson’s somehow still available in your league, he was a big BUY, and you need to jump on this bullfrog while he’s hoppin’!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Kodai Senga – 3.1 IP, 6 hits, 6 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, 3rd L. I don’t see how you can possibly continue starting this guy again until you see something from him. I’m not talking about your fantasy team. I’m talking to the Mets.

Edward Cabrera – 6.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 2nd win. Cubs know they can call on E-Cab when they need a Lyft. He’s been mostly mid, but sometimes mid starters are the heroes of your team. He’s got two quality starts, and the 2.38 ERA and 1.28 WHIP ratios are actually kind of relaxing me after looking at Kodai’s periphs. If you’re a Cubs fan, you can’t complain, but you probably are anyway.

Chris Bassitt – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 2 K. The hound dog’s got some scary numbers so far, chiefly the 6.19 ERA and K/BB of 7/11. Big gulps, huh!? Well, see ya later!

Tanner Bibee – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 5 K. I heard he was headlining Coachella, so unclear how he was available last night. To date, he’d been better off watching his old self pitch on youtube, and this was a pretty important step for Bibs whose fastball/cutter combo has just not played well so far this year. Luckily, it was on last night, and he used his cutter effectively to set up his off speed stuff. Am I encouraged by what I saw? Yes! Would I start him against the Astros next week? Uhhh….

Daniel Schneemann – 2-for-4, Grand Slam HR (2). Schneeeee!! Extra Es for Grand Salam-EEEEEEEE! They call him the Snowman in Cleveland cause my dude is ice cold. Not his bat though, he’s hitting .500 with two homers and 9 RBI in the past week. Maybe they call him Snowman cause he plows.

Austin Riley – 2-for-5, 2 HR (3), 4 RBI. Three homers in the past two games, his first multi-home game in over a year! I drafted him in the second round last year *smiles crazily, twitches* but you know, I mean, good for him. I’m glad he’s finally rediscovered his form. “And yes, I am playing him in head-2-head this week, how did you know?” I ask from the crumbling ledge of my apartment building rooftop.

Martin Perez – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4K. 1st win. Sure, he’s boring, but what did I just say about boring in fantasy beisbol. Boring plays well! My father always used to say to me, “Good enough.” Martin has a 2.21 and 0.93 and plenty of run support and gets the Nats next week, who are sneakily a scary matchup. But hey, good enough!

Dominic Smith – 1-for-5, HR (4). BUY. Any sub worth their salt has a great Dom, and this Dom is slashing .362/.380/.660 with 4 homers, and 16 RBI. He also has a five game hitting streak. Meanwhile, my most drafted first basemen, Kurtz and Pasquatino, have almost combined to outproduce Smith so there!

Bubba Chandler – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, 3 K, 1st win. Bubba booey! Amazing how dominant he looks when the fastball is working for him, and by that I mean he actually knows where it’s going.

Oneil Cruz – 1-for-4, HR (6), 2 RBI slashing .313/.382/.588. Cruz missile! I admire Grey cause picking players to SELL is hard. Want to hear my sells? Ke’Bryan Hayes, TJ Rumfield, and Juan Brito. Do not care for them. Don’t flame me in the comments, those are just my opinions. I could never tell you to sell pretty much the most productive player in fantasy to date this year. That’s cajones. Will Oneil crash back down to Earth like last year? Maybe. But I can’t handle the egg on my face, I’m too sensitive, and that sounds like it might give me acne. Also, those CityConnects look exactly the same as the standard uni, no?

Konnor Griffin – 1-for-3, 2 runs, SB (2). Ooh, someone’s figuring it out. If I were Justin Timberlake taking a DUI exam I would tell the officer to buy, buy, buy. It’s a world tour!

James Wood – 1-for-5, HR (6). The oppo field shot-o! And this was a shot-o, folks. A real life shotski, Jimmy Fallon. NGL, not gonna lie, I was concerned with James’ high K rate, but knock on Wood, he’s got five homers, four steals, 13 RBI batting .321 in the past two weeks. Needless to say I don’t care about his K rate anymore. Wood looks solid as oak.

Casey Schmitt – 2-for-5, HR (2). He was a BUY! Heliot Ramos was also 1-for-4, HR (1), 4 RBI and Drew Gilbert also homered as the Giants scored 10 runs with 15 hits. Zack Littell awakens the sleeping Giants! It’s always the Littell ones.

Michael Wacha – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K. Joke’s on you, Fozzy B, if you avoided this start, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to be afraid of the Yankees, Mr. Manager Boone generally benches all their best players. it’s called analytics! NERD! Also, Wacha’s ratios are *Pasquantino pinched fingers* Speaking of…

Vinnie Pasquantino – 2-for-4, HR (2), 2 RBI. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes, Pasketti is next, just grab his shoulders and help me load him in the trunk, my Nona has the gravy cooking on the stove and–Vinnie moved! He’s alive!

Cam Schlittler – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, ERA at 1.95. Left the game too early to get the win, Schlittler was full! Still, kid has been real good, allowing three earned runs or fewer in every start this year. He gets the Red Sux next week who literally can’t hit anything. I sense a gem incoming.

Ben Rice – 2-for-4, HR (6), 2 RBI. Naturally, he will be benched on Saturday. Mark my words!

Ranger Suarez – 8.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 4 K. Well, this guy turned it around quick. Even though the Detroit o-fence has looked terrible, and it was miserably cold in Boston Friday night, Rain Hair did what he was paid way too much money to do: get outs. I have also been paid off by a few exes to get out.

Masataka Yoshida – 1-for-1, pinch-hit GW RBI. Of course, the only guy who drove in a run this entire game didn’t start. That’s next-level Mr. Managing for you!

Casey Mize – 6.2 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 7 K. Breaking my Fenway rule this year, I eyed this start with my smize, Tyra, knowing the Red Sux literally can’t hit anything. I would start anyone against them.

Joe Ryan – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 6 K, 2nd L. The Twinks could be showcasing Joe for the trade deadline, and he has not disappointed 3.29 ERA, 0.88 WHIP and a 28:6 K:BB. Yes, please and thank you sir may I have another. What is disappointing, is the Twinks o-fence has not lived up to their side of the bargain and have been surprisingly not awful. They can’t dump this guy if the team is competitive. I guess it’s still April.

Yordan Alvarez – 2-for-5, HR (8), slashing .333/.479/.750. Air Yordan the Spicy Cubano makes it look so ez. I’ve got a pretty impressive list of studs I drafted over Yordy, including Jazz Chisholm (.161/.242/.321), Nick Kurtz (.215/.400/.308 ) and Fernando Tatis, Jr. (.239/.329/.296). Sound off in the comments and share your terrible, regrettable choices! Isn’t this fun! Only five more months of this, cherish it!

Christian Vazquez – 2-for-3, HR (2). He’s slashing .400/.438/.733 and has a hit in every game he’s played, but let’s keep trotting Yainer Diaz out there just to see if we can get that batting average to dip below .150.

Jose Altuve – 1-for-5, HR (3). Year of the short kings! ABS is where they take back the league. Gavin Lux lost four inches YoY! By the way, short kings is mildly offensive, no? If we called them fat queens everyone would be up in arms. The little guys are just so cute, though!

Ivan Herrera – 2-for-4, HR (2), 3 RBI. Ivan the Herrerable has two ding dongs in his last three and the power is coming. He’s a buy low for me, especially once he gains that catcher eligibility.

Nolan Gorman – 1-for-5, HR (3), 3 RBI. Psycho Gorman reminded us all he was once both highly touted and a top prospect. Maybe he should go to driveline like Jordan walker?

Tyler Glasnow – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 2 BB, 7 K, 2nd win. Dodgers are 15-4 look like the dominant team we all expected them to look like. Zzzz, so predictable. Not predictable was how cheap Tommy Shelby was going in drafts. Y’all had your Peaky Blinders on? Injury prone maybe, but also a pitcher, they’re all injury prone. He’s rocking a 3.24 ERA, 0.84 WHIP and 29:6 K/BB! Sweet sassy molassy! He’d be the Ace on any other team.

Max Muncy – 3-for-4, 2 HR (6), 3 RBI. Know you would have loved another Muncy lead, but I ran out of money puns last week. The Max power is real, and it’s spectacular!

Hyeseong Kim – 1-for-3, 2 SB (3). Slashing .286/.407/.476 with two steals, and he also bats in the Dodgers line up. *Fantasy pro tip* they score a lot of runs!

Michael Soroka – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 5 K, 4th win, ERA at 2.78. Under the hood, looks like the Regression Fairies may be looming around Soroka. They’re Team Alex, and don’t really know what that means because they look like exactly the same person. Alix vs. Alex is the perfect low stakes drama considering all the other news that’s out there, so I’m invested! This is a podcasting feud, right? As for Soroka, he’s got a 5.78 xERA, and .296 BABIP so this could end poorly, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ride it out! That’s what any good podcaster would do. He could also be a league winning add and needs to be owned everywhere. Whatever he’s doing it’s working, and that’s the Tea by the Sea.

Paul Sewald – 1.0 IP, SV (7). Leads the league in saves. I’m sure you saw that one coming. Meanwhile, I have a squad that’s blown six saves this week. Three on Thursday alone. Oh boy, this is fun, isn’t it? *sweaty smile* How many months left again?

Daulton Varsho – 0-for-1. Myles Straw replaced him and went 2-for-3, HR (1). Varsho fosho left the game with knee discomfort. This is because I just added you isn’t it? He’s not getting an MRI so this appears to be a day-to-day fragile glass man thing. Gotta love that!

Nolan Arenado – 2-for-4, HR (3), RBI. He’s batting .304 with three homers and 9 RBI in the past week, but the .224 batting average overall scares me a bit. Speaking of scared, I had a great joke lined up for this, I placed it on my crumbling apartment ledge I was out getting uhh, air on earlier and oh noooo–TORENADO!

Jacob deGrom – 4.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. He really has the potential to be the best long reliever in the history of Major League Baseball.

Brandon Nimmo – 1-for-4, HR (4). My 100th Razzball post had Nimmo as the lede ([expletive deleted] I’m 0ld) so I’ll always have a soft spot for Bran-don. He’s hitting .276 with three homers in the past week and should have major value as Tejas’ leadoff hitter. Who knew all he had to do was leave the Mets.

Josh Jung – 3-for-5, RBI, slashing .290/.343/.452. Three Rangers had three hit games and the Rain-hairs (Suarez told me the proper pronunciation) are one of my sleeper teams, which is basically a team I’ve really liked for the past two years and has totally sucked.

Logan Gilbert – 5.1 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, BB, 7 K. Shall I call you Logan, Weapon X? No, WOLVERINE! He hasn’t debuted his Berserker mode just yet, but that just makes it easier to buy low.

Davis Martin – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 3rd win. The unholy child of Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, perhaps? Funny, cause we could call these White Sox the rat pack. He’s got three wins and a 2.16 ERA but much like the rat pack I think this could end poorly.

Aaron Civale – 4.2 IP, 11 hits, 5 ER, BB, 4 K. Bing bong strikes again! 11 hits! (ELEVEN) Off the White Sox, who barely have 11 hitters! I know that doesn’t make sense but don’t stop me while I’m ranting!

Munetaka Murakami – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (6), 4 RBI, slashing .200/.361/.477. Woof, that slash is pretty bad, but he still looks like the best hitter on the Shite Sox.

Andrew Benintendi – 3-for-6, 2 runs, RBI as he led off. Benny Baseball! Whata throwback. Remember when he was a star on the 2018 World Series team? Me neither!

Otto Lopez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (3), 2 RBI. His name is Otto, he likes to get blotto!

Jake Bauers – 3-for-4, 3 runs, SB (3). BUY Bauers! You have 24 hours to add him before the Red Cross infiltrates the White House and the entire hospital system as you know it will be completely destroyed. Sounds kind of like your average episode of The Pitt.

Coleman Crow – 5.1 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K. I wasn’t ready to commit to Coleman, so consider me eating Crow. I should learn to trust everything the Brewers touch. Did you know Milwaukee is pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for the good land? Excellent. CC looked like your prototypical Brewers starter, he commanded the strike zone, walked just one batter, and even retired eight of the first nine batters he faced, including two Ks in the third. Some of his off speed stuff looks absolutely filthy. Eating crow indeed, and it tastes like chicken! Yes, I’m buying. If he gets another start that’d be in Detroit, who I just mentioned have been awful, and I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure, though!

Abner Uribe – 1.0 IP, 2 BB, K, 1st win. BUY. Not many scenarios could have provided as little clarity on the bullpen shituationship in Mill-e-wah-que as what played out last night, but lucky for us we got it. Uncle Abner who we assumed had overtaken the closer gig, came into the game in the ninth, as closers are wont to do, but since it was a tie game, it was Trevor Megill (1.0 IP, 1 hit, 2 K, SV (4)) who ended up with the save opportunity after Garrett Mitchell’s heroics, and arguably Megill looked better yesterday. To recap, Uribe got the closer usage initially, but Megill got the save opportunity, and now has back-to-back successful high leverage outings. So what does this tell us? Nothing helpful! You can’t drop either guy just yet, but the next outings usage should be more telling. If Angel Zerpa had not blown the save in the eighth we would know the true hierarchy already so let’s just pile on him for now.

Jose Soriano – 5.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 8 K, ERA at 0.28. He’s 5-0. That’s undefeated, folks. Yeah, he walked four, but that doesn’t really matter when you only give up two hits (0.73 WHIP). And Game 1 of SoCal Series, the battle of who gets to be second to the Dodgers went to Angels of No Mercy. Fallen Angels no longer. These are the Ballin’ Angels. It’s amazing what a decent Mr. Manager can do. Are the Angels possibly, maybe, feasibly, potentially, conceivably, perchance, a wagon, y’all!? They clearly got an Ace. Catatafish Trout just claimed NYC City for Anaheim, five dongs in four games. Meanwhile, Jorge Soler Power is temporarily “resting” for knuckle soreness, Yoan Moncada is back from the dead with two homers in three games. Jo Adell looks like Jordan Walker reincarnate. They even have a lovable cast of side characters like Oswald Peraza who was a BUY and is hitting .421 with three bombs and two steals this week and Josh Lowe (2-for-4, HR (3), 2 RBI) doing work.  They scored eight runs on 13 hits Friday night, lead all AL teams in runs scored and even Jordan Romano couldn’t blow this for them. These aren’t your daddy’s little Angels. The battle for SoCal just got a little more interesting.