LOGIN

Please see our player page for Jake Bauers to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Winter Meetings? More like Snoozy Meetings! We need more action, which is why I bring you my proposal: Trades are now made with a pitch clock! “Hey, welcome to the Nashville Ramada, the Padres will be discussing Juan Soto trades in the Beige conference room that smells like sausage and onions from last night’s wedding that took place there. Padres will be fielding offers for thirty seconds from each team. Pirates, I see you getting ready to offer one of your two catcher prospects. Don’t do it. No one wants a catcher. Okay, good luck and may the best team named the New York Yankees win!” That’s Rob Manfred adding excitement into the Winter Meetings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Junior Caminero is being called up by the Rays. Junior Caminero is also a little tiny car that Spanish boys drive when they’re five years old and first starting growing out their mustaches. The Junior Caminero goes vroom vroom but it only does it when a nearby father makes the noise. Junior Caminero also is a top five prospect for all of baseball what on earth are the Rays doing calling him up right now on…*starts singing* Do you remembah? The 21st of Septembah? Do you remembah? It’s not the 1st of Septembah? Do you remembah? Rays? Hello? We’re seriously asking. So, here’s what Itch’s said, “He’ll finish up 2023 at 20 years old with 31 home runs across two levels, 20 of those coming in 80 Double-A games during which he slashed .314/.379/.557 with a 17.1 percent strikeout rate. And Grey will be hunted this winter.” What? He ranked Caminero 6th overall in the top 25 prospects. I’d grab him in all leagues, and now I’m particularly excited about 2024, if Junior Caminero can break camp. Vroom vroom! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can you believe I’m already here talking about September callups? This year flew by. They say the older you get the quicker the years feel. For unstints, every week feels like a year for Masyn Winn at 21 years of age. For me, every year feels like a week. Last week was 2078, and we just discovered that people who like cilantro are aliens. Don’t challenge me on this, I studied the calendar in college. Sorry if you’re one of those that likes cilantro, it is an acquired taste — acquired by aliens. Call your doctor; you have green blood. So, Masyn Winn is almost guaranteed to start next year with the club, that means he will get an offseason rookie outlook post from me and the only question is: Him, Jackson Holliday or a third unknown rookie as the top fantasy rookie for next year? You’ll have to wait until October for that big reveal. You can hardly wait! No, you! For all rookies, it doesn’t hurt to call them up in September to give them a little taste. An amuse bouche of baseball! Masyn Winn is more than ready. He’s about to be a 20/20 guy in Triple-A at the aforementioned 21 years of age. Him or Tatis next year? Okay, still Fun The Jewels, but you see where my hype is going. For this year, I’d grab Winn in all leagues for the inevitable September call-up. Oh, and I know he has a glute issue right now; don’t be a pain in the ass. He’s fine, and will be spectacular soon with the Cards. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jeimer Candelario stares out at the desert landscape in New Mexico. Behind him, an El Pollo Loco, in front of him nothing as far as the eye can see. “Now I Am Become Death, the Destroyer of Balls.” That’s a wide open Jeimer. Um, ‘open-for-business.’ That’s an important distinction. Also, it’s an important distinction to say “balls” as in baseballs. The open Jeimer pushes a button and–it’s a bomb. The explosion reverberates. A mushroom cloud ascends to the heavens. The bomb is a home run into the Wrigley bleachers. Prolly a good distinction to make, as well. Finally the open Jeimer says, “I wanted to hit that bomb off German. Uh, Domingo.” So, Jeimer Candelario was a sleeper of mine two years ago, and he did not pan out at all, but it shows you there was pedigree. It just took a little while longer. His Launch Angle is perfect for Wrigley and his HR/FB is actually not that inflated, meaning he could actually become a home run hitter (27-homer-power) with a solid-enough average (.255) for 2024 fantasy, but this is for this year, and he’s been hot. Like nuclear. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aaron Civale was traded to the Rays yesterday. Going from the Guardians to the Rays for pitching is like going from caviar to caviar straight from a fish’s vagina. (Do fish have vagina? Wasn’t that a book title?) Going from the Guardians to the Rays for pitching is like going from bacon to bacon dipped in mayo. You were already at a team that developed great pitching, do you need to go to one even better? Aren’t you being a little greedy? Aaron Civale traded to the Rays and about to become a thinking man’s Zach Eflin. Call him Zach Brain. Civale is Eflin, who was Ryan Yarbough on the Rays, who was Matt Andriese, who was Drew Smyly, who was Jake Odorizzi, who was—Greybot 5000 is malfunctioning, please unplug, blow into my ear and plug me back in. Civale’s peripherals don’t back up his ERA, as I keep saying, but it didn’t matter because the Guards have magic, and the Rays have more magic. Also, on a side note, the Guards’ return of Kyle Manzardo, and I’m just so sick of the Guards being perpetual sellers. “Manzardo is a great return!” Sure, until the Guards sell him in four years for another prospect. My guess is they’re about to sell Josh Bell too, and call up Manzardo, but that’s clear conjecture. Manzardo is basically Josh Naylor, Part Two. Call him Josh Afternoon-Delight. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hola, chicos and cinco chicas! Are you ready for some Tex-Max Schenchiladas? Ay, papis and cinco mamas, you want some Tex-Max Enscherziladas?! Ay?! So, the Max Scherzer trade to the Rangers was briefly held up because they needed Max’s approval, and I have been laughing for two days thinking about someone asking if they would waive their no-trade clause from the Mets. Can you imagine?

“Hey, I have to ask you–”
“Yes.”
“Wait, let me–”
“Absolutely.”
“You have to let me ask you, it’s a part of the clause, I must say the whole thing before you can answer. Okay, are you willing to leave the New York–”
“PLEASE!”

C’mon, bro. Max Scherzer is going to say, “No, I want to stay on this submersible.” So, Scherzer goes to the Rangers and this will fix everything. I kid. Scherzer could go to any team, except maybe the Rockies, and be Scherzer. His 4.01 ERA hasn’t been pristine, and he’s starting to show some wear at 39. His Ks are down, and his walks and homers are up. He has the worst xFIP of his career. I’d never bet against Scherzer — one does not bet against someone with two different colored eyes — but he does look more like a number two vs. the one he’s been for 13 years. By the way, the return package — which I’m sure Itch will go over — includes Luisangel Acuña. Hmm, pitch clock, fine. Limited pickoffs? Okay. But what’s Manfred doing with this “Every NL East team gets an Acuña” rule? From what I’ve heard, it’s a good return for Max Scherzer; the Mets did well. Until they trade Luisangel Acuña this offseason for Whit Merrifield or something equally bad. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pop quiz: Which MLB team has the worst offense since June 1st?  Give up? It’s the New York Yankees, who come in with a woeful 69 wRC+ for the month.  To make matters worse, their best hitters of late have been Jake Bauers and Billy McKinney, lefties who will face Oakland Athletics southpaw JP Sears […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If David Hamilton could swim like he could run, he would’ve been sent down to the Titanic wreck to save those in the submarine. Talk about the worst Gilligan’s Island spinoff ever. Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from roughly 60 depths under the sea… “Skipper, we have two hours left of oxygen.” Skipper smacks Gilligan with his hat, waving away oxygen. Gilligan gulps, “Make that one hour and thirty minutes.” The story on the submarine billionaire is like a reverse Icarus, and I want to read everything about it. Any hoo! David Hamilton isn’t a swimmer (maybe he is, I have no idea), but he is a runner. Boy, is that guy fast. He’s so fast rather than calling Spectrum’s customer service, he ran to a call center in Hyderbad to ask his question in-person. Wow, that’s fast! Don’t know Hamilton’s playing time sitch; he might not be called up for long, but he’s incredibly interesting because he was a 23/97 guy combined over the last 171 minor league games. Yeah, pretty good! I grabbed him in my most shallow leagues just in case he sticks, though he might not stand in one place long enough to stick. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Okay, I’m going to fall slowly back now, are you ready to catch me?”
“Go for it…”
“Okay, are you sure you’re ready? You sound like you’re 40 to 50 feet behind me and not right under me.”
“I’m…right…behind…you.”
“Okay, you sound like you’ve moved even further away. I know part of the exercise is just fall backwards and you’re going to catch me, but I can barely hear you.”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“Damn it, I can hear you moving further away from me! This trust fall is not going to work, is it?” I turn around to find Bud Black is a football field away from me. “You weren’t going to catch me!”
Bud Black screams, “I had you!”

That’s Bud Black and every fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!). You cannot trust Bud Black. He’s untrustworthy! I wouldn’t trust him to suddenly play Nolan Jones forever. I’m going one game at a time here with Jones. At some point, Curtis Jackson Cron will return and it’ll be two tears in a bucket and Jones will be told to eff off. For now, Jones is a guy who has nearly 20/10/.330 between Triple-A and the majors in less than 60 games. Will it continue? Well, the power is real, the steals are real, but he is likely closer to a .260 hitter. Still very valuable. Just don’t get on a chair and fall backwards into his expected production. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

I can search the site for old comments. It’s my superpower. Well, that and being able to tell if a sushi restaurant is good just from their spicy tuna roll. Okay, I also have the superpower: Being able to add three syllables to any Spanish name. Fine! I can also avoid any fight with my wife by saying, “You’re right.” That’s perhaps my strongest superpower. But, back to searching old comments, I will save people the embarrassment but here’s one from the end of last April:

Please, blog, may I have some more?