Astros’ lineup has some 80’s WWF vibes to it. Julks-Dubon being led by Captain Woo Cubano. Can’t forget, Jose Abreu (2-for-5, 2 run) at the plate as threatening as Cyndi Lauper when she’s beating on Captain Lou’s chest in the Girls Just Wanna Fun video. Or The Fabulous Martin Maldonado went 2-for-3, 2 runs with his 3rd homer. All they needed was Manaea to come through with Afa and Sika. By the way, what’s less pro wrestling than losing your acronym, WWF, to the World Wildlife Federation. First up, Mauricio Dubon went 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Altuve owners are Stan Gable yelling, “Hey, that’s my pie!” Then Corey Julks went 3-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting his 3rd homer. But, leading the way, was Yordan Alvarez. Captain Woo Cubano went 3-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homer, hitting .305. Woo has no speed and doesn’t seem like he’s been hot at any moment this year, and is still around a top 15 hitter on the year on the Player Rater. Truly one of the best and gets nowhere near enough acclaim. Or as Rowdy Tellez would say acc’laim. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Vinnie Pasquantino
Please see our player page for Vinnie Pasquantino to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Think Buck Showalter is old. That’s not bad, in general. Some of my favorite people are old. I’m a Cougar Hunter. I have radar for hard candies. The problem with Showalter is he’s got old thinking. He’s platooning Brett Baty. He thinks Thomas Phamily is still a thing. He’s not following the latest in baseball which is: Play your kids! The Braves have been winning with the formula: Play your kids! for a few years now. So, with that said, the Mets called up their next great hitting prospect, Mark Vientos (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) as he hit his 1st homer. Can Vientos play outfield? Absolutely not. Can Vientos steal at-bats from Baty? Ugh, maybe. Can Vientos run? His speed has been described as “an 80-year-old baby crawling with tennis balls on its knees.” Can Vientos hit bombs? To the freakin’ moon! He kinda reminds me of a young Evan Longoria. Now take everything you’ve thought about Longoria over the last seven years, scrub it from your brain, and think about Longoria as if this is 2016. Your brain in 2016, “Rays should lock this Longoria guy up for another ten years! He’s amazing! Wait! They let Longoria walk? Wow, what a mistake! They just let a perennial 30+ homer, .270 hitter go! Rays will be in last place for the next decade. What a bunch of losers!” So, your 2016 brain is kinda remembering correctly. Your 2016 was also a big dumb brain, but that’s only in hindsight. Longo was good at that point. Mark Vientos can be good too. For what it’s Wuertz, Prospect Itch has been down on Vientos for as long as Vientos has been down on the farm. For this year, do I want Mark Vientos in a redraft league? Absolutely, but back to the Buck shituation. He’s going to play where? DH? Okay, and Vogelbach is being benched indefinitely? By the guy who is still playing the Phamily? No. That leaves Vientos, the Metsmaker, in a platoon. By the way, regarding the title: It’s because it causes Coke to explode. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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What’s The Point: Hottie Alert
May 11, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues | Leave a commentby: Butters
Did anyone else watch the Opening Day action, blink and then suddenly realize that we’re in May? I’ve been watching baseball and even I feel like games have flown by, maybe the pitch clock is getting to me more than I thought. The sample size still isn’t huge but it’s big enough to get an idea of who is who and what is what. I’ll toot my own horn when I’m right, but I like to think that I can also acknowledge my misses as well. Anyhoo, let’s see who’s hot and what not. Mostly who’s hot. Oh wait, I always like to check out the hotties.
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Nolan Arenado Is An Old Canadian With A Speedo
May 10, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 7 Commentsby: TheEducator
Groupthink is a powerful drug in fantasy baseball. Pre season draft lists are often very similar. Literally everyone I saw had Nolan Arenado ranked 6. Alex Bregman was ranked 7. In first base, everyone had Pete Alonso in the late second. Jose Abreu went 6 pretty much everywhere. The group can be wrong. And I […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jordan steps behind the three point line, head fakes Ehlo, who sails past him, tumbling to the half-court line. Jordan looks at the fallen Ehlo, “Was it that good of a head fake?” He sets himself, and goes up, up, up, — that’s three ups — and the ball is soaring, soaring, soaring — that’s three soarings — and SWISH! SWISH SWISH! That’s three swishes! Right into the…bleachers? Jordan Diaz shrugs at Ehlo. It’s a Shruggle! He gave him the Shruggle! The patented “Who knew I was this good?” and rounds the bases. Jordan Diaz has done the impossible! He’s made Grey talk about basketball — kinda! Yesterday, Diaz went (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) with three homers, his 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Jordan’s homer comes a day after MJ’s homer. Pippen ain’t easy, obviously. I’ve said previously Jordan Diaz is like a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis I-Need-A-Raise. That might be selling his power short, and his batting average high. At least for this year. He could sneak into a 15-17 homer season, but being in Oakland won’t help. His strikeouts are up, so the potential .280 average feels like a long shot. He could also just be finding himself like Jason Bourne or that guy on The Citadel, a blatant rip-off of Jason Bourne. At worst, a hot schmotato. At best, Jordan gives us more Flu Games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Jung Frankensteins The D-Backs
May 4, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 395 Commentsby: Grey
Don’t just toss around the boomstick tag, okay? Pass out the boomstick tag after thoughtful introspection. Okay? Okay. With that said, Josh Jung (3-for-5,3 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer), that 3rd baseman in Texas? Yeah, he has a boomstick. Not saying he could play Quidditch, that’s a broomstick. This is a boomstick. To give you a super random comparison, Jung could be Ty France but with the boomstick. Jung, the France man. Call him Josh-Jung Sartre. Though, France has kinda sucked, but I was talking about his average when it’s good, and Jung should have more power France. Hmm, maybe that comparison isn’t great, except how else was I getting to call him, Josh-Jung Sartre? Some have doubted whether or not Josh Jung has the power to be an attractive fantasy corner man contributor. Doubt no more, as Josh-Jung Sartre once said of self-reflection. Can he stay on pace for 40 homers? We’re in unknown territory, but he’s been ready for the last two years. What would Sartre say of that? Let’s see, hmm… “Hell is other people having Josh Jung on their team.” Geez, this guy’s a real bummer. Unlike his sorta namesake! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Yet Another Joey Who’ll Bully Ortiz You
April 28, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 300 Commentsby: Grey
Just like when a Jewish kid turns 13 and they become a man or woman, and have their Bar Mitzvah or when a hitter breaks out and they have a Star Mitzvah, the same can be said of a team. A team becomes a Man Team when they decide they’re too good for Adam Frazier. That’s what happened yesterday for the Orioles. They looked at their team, and they said, we’re a Man Team, we need a Man 2nd baseman. (Though, they just moved Adam Frazier to right field yesterday; Santander to DH and Gunnar to the bench, but let’s hope they didn’t decide to become a Man Team without Gunnar.) To be a Man Team, they called up Joey Ortiz to be their new Man 2nd baseman. Itch’s said, “(Ortiz is) probably my favorite player in this system at the moment in terms of value to our game versus perceived value across the lists I’ve seen. Ortiz is a plus defender at 5’11” 175 lbs and could come on so quickly that the club has to promote him early in the season. He finished 2022 with an excellent 26-game stretch in Triple-A (.346/.400.567) and doesn’t have much more to learn in the minors. If he hits as well as my fist against Grey’s head, then sign me up!” What even? Ortiz looks like a 15/15/.280 hitter if he has an everyday job. It’s time, O’s. Man up! By the way, if you leave a sandwich out for 13 years, it becomes a Manwich. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Logan Allen Serves Up Steamed Marlin Cleveland Style
April 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 488 Commentsby: Grey
You thought every team having a Luis Garcia was confusing? You rued the day you ever learned there was a Trevor Megill and a Tylor Megill? You thought they were joking when they said there was another Max Muncy? You’re in a Holds league and get the shakes every time you see T. Rogers? You still have a headache from the time you drafted Ryan Braun, the reliever? Well, do I have a surprise for you! For a limited time only, we have two Logan Allens! It could be worse, they were both on the Guardians! Now, there’s one on the Rockies and one on the Guardians. That makes things easier because you’d never want a pitcher on the Rockies, so you only have to look at the team name and remember, “No Rockies pitchers ever.” So, why do we care? Well, outside of AL-Only leagues, we may not. Logan Allen (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks) has a starting job right now, but Triston McKenzie and Aaron Civale could return at some point (in theory), and Hunter Gaddis is stretched out and might get another look. Since the “why do we care” became “why should we not care,” here’s an answer to the caring part: He consistently has a 11+ K/9 in the minors. Itch’s said, “A great athlete with plus balance and command who repeats his delivery with ease, Allen fits the Cleveland mold for pitchers who exceed their on-paper projections. He’s not an ideal candidate to add velocity at 6’0” 190 lbs, but Cleveland tends to find a way, not that Allen has needed more than his low-90’s fastball, plus changeup and average curveball to this point, and I’d like to stick Grey with a sharp point.” C’mon, man! Itch’s “Cleveland tends to find a way” is why I’m interested in deeper mixed leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Fantasy Squeals Like A Pig Over Baty’s Deliverance
April 17, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 466 Commentsby: Grey
Brett Baty was called up, finally!!!*
*It’s only been like two weeks. Aren’t you being a little bit overdramatic with the “finally” and the crazy cartoonish exclamation marks?**
*SHUT UP FOOTNOTE, YOU FREAKIN’ NERD!!!*
*Um, okay, but you’re a footnote too.***
***Sadly, the preceding two footnotes got into a scuffle soon after that exchange, and the cops were called as a postscript.
So, the Mets finally made the move we have all been expecting for the last two weeks, and, honestly, it should’ve been done when they broke camp. The Mets are not a stupid organization. Jinxed? Oh, hecks to the hey! But not dumb. I gave you a Brett Baty fantasy back in November. Nothing’s really changed from that. He’s one of the top callups this year, and should be rostered in all leagues. He could immediately break on the scene and hit 25+ homes and .270. My big question is does Buck bench Eduardo Escobar completely? I don’t think so, but I don’t know. Buck you, Showalter, play Baty! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! So sorry for this weekend and the problems the site’s had. We’ve hired a company to try to alleviate all the issues. Long story short, we were being attacked by bots and they were crashing us repeatedly. We should be good now. If you have issues logging in, you have to clear your browser cache about a month back, then log back in. I know, major pain in the ass. Sorry! Anyway II, the roundup:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Jarred Is Putting On A Kelenic
April 13, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 273 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Jarred Kelenic (2-for-4) hit his 3rd homer in three games. Sonavabench x 3! Incredible! This is shaping up to be the worst sonavabenching in the history of sonavabenchings. Kelenic does something for the first time in three years and he’s on my bench! Why is this my life? This home run went 482 feet! That’s almost 147 meters! That’s the longest homer in Wrigley in the Statcast era. Could the breakout be happening? Is this the gorgeous we were once promised? Is this like watching the plastic bag in American Beauty? To me, it’s slightly comical that Jarred Kelenic is being labeled as “THE BREAKOUT IS HERE” while in the exact same game Cody Bellinger (2-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd home run and it’s like, “Meh, whatever. He can eat a D.” For those who are thinking, “Yeah, okay, you’re handsome and all, but Kelenic is hitting .351 and Cody Bellinger is hitting .238.” Kelenic is hitting .351 in 37 ABs. Difference between him and Cody is about four hits. He has a 44% Whiff rate on breaking pitches, and a 40% whiff rate on offspeed pitches. I want the Kelenic breakout as much as anyone (hopefully it can start next Monday, though), just trying to put an ounce of realism here in our fantasy. Like when Penelope Cruz is still bored in your dreams when you talk about your fantasy teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Points Leagues, Next Stop Guesstimation Station
March 20, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 15 Commentsby: malamoney
Well, it’s that time of year again. What time is that you ask? I’ll tell you. It’s the approximately ten days or so that most of you have interest in me. I had someone at my front door this afternoon that I absolutely did not recognize. I was certain it was another solar panel douche. […]
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Top 100 Hitters: The Triumvirate
March 19, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, Top 100 Hitters | 4 Commentsby: Jeremy Brewer
Welcome back to week three of unveiling the top 100 Hitters for the 2023 fantasy baseball season. Over the past few weeks, we have walked through the top 25 (check it here) and then rounded out the top 50 (another link) bringing us to this week. We are now entering the back half of the top 100 hitters for 2023. This portion is where the rankings start to bunch up and hitter #51 is much closer to hitter #75 than #1 is to #2. Maybe that is stating the obvious but it is key for how we handle this portion of the draft. With this group of hitters, we start to think about need, team makeup, and shortfalls in our categories to ensure we have a well balanced team rather than trying to win a single roto category by lapping the field. We all know the guy that drafts only steals or seven closers, so do not be that person! With the formalities out of the way, let us get on with the rankings.
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