Please see our player page for Brandon Nimmo to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

On Sunday, Jose Urquidy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.36, which, honestly, is kinda whatever, until you hear this one. The Giancarlo homer (his 17th) in the 7th was the first hit by the Yankees in 16 1/3 IP, and nearly 41 hours. *letting out the longest woof known to man* On Saturday, Cristian Javier didn’t come up short (7 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, one walk, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.73). Well, he kinda did, since the Astros needed two more pitchers for the combined no-hitter in Yankee Stadium. After the game, there was an interview with Cristian Javier where he thanked God multiple times, so as we thought, God hates the Yankees. It’s a brutal way to lose a game, but it’s gotta be demoralizing to hear the Big Man Upstairs hates your guts. Listen, no-hit me, talk that trash, but thank God afterwards proving God hates me? That’s soul-crushing. Actually, I’m a bit scared to write about the no-hitter. The Clay Holmes’s official scorer might go in and change a ground ball to a hit just to feel something. Welp, we got ourselves a top 100 starts of the year page, and you can see for yourself where Javier landed with that gem. If you got sonavabenched by that one, well, God might not like you either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Atlanta Braves’ rookie flamethrower-slash-hotshot-slash-heartthrob, Spencer Strider turned in his best outing of the year Friday night, pitching five and 2/3 innings, allowing just five baserunners and punching out eight Pirates en route to his second win. Spencer finally hitting his Stride-er! He lowered his ratios to a real nice 2.35 ERA and 1.12 WHIP with the start and his 57/19 K/BB in just 38.1 innings was the exact same number I had on the vision board I made for my positive affirmations class. You just can’t find that kind of strikeout potential on the waiver wire, over-the-internet friends. He’s got a 36.8 K% and a 13.38 K/9. Mhmm. Oh my, is it hot in here? I need to calm myself down, I’m getting excited. *bites knuckles, does ice bucket challenge, thinks about baseball players* Wait! No to that last one! Spence, can I call you, Spence? No? OK, Spencer’s biggest knock is that he’s currently being stretched out after serving in somewhat of a long relief role, so he may not pitch deep enough into games initially to get you those sweet dubs, but Braves manager Snitker seems to be ramping him up quick. He threw 72 pitches in his first start, followed by 87 last week and 92 Friday night. That’s progress, y’all! The five and 2/3 innings was the longest outing of his young career, and even though it was the lowly Bucs, he produced a swinging strike rate of 34%. That’s 18 swings and misses, 11 of those on his stinky, stinky cheese, which topped out at 100+ mph multiple times. Yup, guy’s got gas to spare during a nationwide shortage. Basically, Braves have been ramping him up and he’s taking it in Stride-er. Sure, he’s had some cushy matchups so far with Arizona, Colorado and Pittsburgh, but he gets another juicy one next week versus the Nats. If you are looking to buy unfunny gag gifts, fart pills, embarrassing sex toys or lava lamps, I’d check out Spencer’s Gifts, but if you need starting pitching help with massive strikeout upside on a team that can’t seem to lose right now, I’d buy Spencer Strider. Maybe buy the fart pills, too, those sound fun. Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week’s article was all over the map. We got some great starts from Alex Cobb, Taijuan Walker, and Tony Gonsolin but Adrian Houser and Tyler Anderson really let us down. We still feel like the process has been on point, and we’re starting to get a better read on these offenses. Picking streamers is […]

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We had some mixed results last week with our streamers, but I was happy with the results for the most part. The Elieser Hernandez start was the only one that rattled me, but I feel silly recommending him in the first place. We did land some of you with Sheldon Neuse, though, and his ownership […]

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

C’mon. What are we doing here, fellas and five girl readers? Corey Dickerson and Paul DeJong are blocking Nolan Gorman from being called up? Is this serious? Co-Dick and Colonel Mustard sounds like cojoined twins playing Clue with two candlesticks, so to speak. They’re not blocking Nolan Gorman, right? Because that’s what I was hearing, but my ears and I stopped speaking when I questioned them about this information. “Stop looking away and answer me! Is that what you’re hearing?!” That’s me interrogating my ears. My ears got real silent after that. Nolan Gorman who has 40-homer power right now? That Nolan Gorman? Is it Golan Norman still in the minors and Nolan Gorman was already called up? Is that what happened, and I didn’t hear it because of the falling out I had with my ears? Someone explain what we’re doing here. Here, not hear. I can’t do that without my ears! On Prospect Itch’s Prospect Stash List, he put some shine on Gorman.

Here’s what Itch said previously, “The fair-haired boy in this system since his noisy draft season, Nolan Gorman breathed some spice into his dynasty stock by sliding over to second base and popping 25 home runs in 125 games across two levels, slashing .279/.333/.481 by reducing his strikeout rate early and adding power later in the year as the K-rate kept dropping all the way down to 19.2 percent after a 31.7% rate back in 2019 at High-A. I’d also like to cut Grey.” What the heck, dude? This year Gorman has 10 HRs as he hits near-.350 in Triple-A in 66 at-bats. Again, I am asking you what are we doing here. He should’ve been called up already. Don’t let the double candlesticks on the Clue board prospblock him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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At one point, the Brewers’ color man, Bill Schroeder said, “Looks effortless, doesn’t it?” And no truer thing has been said. The next closest truest thing is when I said, “It would almost be worth being on death row for a crime you didn’t commit, just to have your life VO’d by Dateline’s Keith Morrison.” Brewers’ pitching coaches make everyone better — they turned Eric Lauer into 1986 Roger Clemens — but when they have something to work with, like Corbin Burnes (6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.75)? Well, then the entire enterprise is firing on all cylinders. Just an absolute joy to watch. Sure, I don’t draft top starters, but I appreciate them just the same. 26 swings and misses, best of the season. Unfair cutters? Oh, he had some of those. Filthy curves? He threw some of those too. Elevated 97 MPH fastballs? Yeah, there were those too. Didn’t really understand in the preseason when people were drafting starters high, but even more confounding were the people drafting starters before Burnes. He is the best starter in baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The left side of the mouth:

“Due to a pitch count of 80, Clayton Kershaw would not get a perfect game, but he would become the perfect symbol of his generation. Babied to the point where pitchers can no longer throw, they ‘pitch’ — whatever that means! When did we, as a society, get to the point where a pitcher can’t throw the ball? A participation perfect game, that’s what Clayton Kershaw got yesterday.”

The right side of the mouth:

“Clayton Kershaw has been battling injuries for years. His last year was cut short, due to injuries. He couldn’t pitch much in the preseason, because of the lockout and this was his first start of the year. Who cares about a perfect game? This is about keeping Clayton Kershaw healthy for as many innings as possible.”

The left side of the mouth:

“You’re a sissy.”

The right side of the mouth:

“What are you talking about? We’re just different sides of the same mouth!”

So, Clayton Kershaw (7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 13 Ks) threw seven perfect innings, and nothing about him has changed since my preseason thoughts on him. He could be fantastic, but not even for a 9-inning game, let alone a full season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dropping 98 MPH 4-seamers, maxing out at 99 MPH, with a bye-bye 82-87 MPH knuckle curve with a 3100 spin rate that has 48-inches of break, followed by “Oh, okay, that was a change, okay, I see what you did there” as the batter swings and misses. Is the answer to, “Are we sure Matt Brash is real?” Oh, he looked very real. Really real. My favorite sequence was right after giving up his first run, he got Tim Anderson on five pitches and only had to throw one fastball, which was taken for a ball. His final line was 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners (1 walk), 6 Ks, and, as good as that looks, he looked better. Not convinced there won’t be some roofies here and there. I could see him going against a club with a better feel for his pitches, and just laying off, because there were a few times when I was like, “Has he thrown a strike at all this at-bat?” After seeing him, I can also answer the question, “Would I pick him up?” With a strong affirmative, i.e., the mustache must Brash. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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*screaming at the top of my lungs* BASEBALL IS BACK!!! Shouldn’t it be “at the top of my voice box?” At Razzball, we make you think. Not too hard so your eyes go crossed, because that would not be very nice. See, we’re nice too. Baseball is back and, brucely, I couldn’t be (water) any happier. The top 500 and my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings are locked. Well, until my top 100 for the 2nd half that will look nothing like the current 100. Also, I won’t have time before the season to go over my Yahoo Friends & Family team, competing against Dalton Del Don, Pianowski, etc., but here’s the team, if you’re my-team-curious — it’s 15 team, mixed, 5×5:

Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?