Rarely does a fantasy season derive itself from an actual fantasy. An honest-to-goodness, real-life, sleepwalking-in-your-pj’s fantasy. A I-walked-in-on-Marisa-Tomei-and-she-was-like-come-join-me fantasy. Ronald Acuña Jr. aka Tildaddy comes home with Brillo pads you have to use your favorite shirt to clean the dishes aka The Truth is having a fantasy fantasy season. Can’t even remember the last time someone was a top fantasy player and seemed to be trying to accumulate stats. That is an absolute treat. Yesterday, he hit his 40th homer, and now his likely sole goal is to get to 40/40. Who wants to get stats for us, fantasy baseballers? No one usually! They’re all bastards! But Acuña does! He has 123 runs and 99 RBIs from predominantly the leadoff spot. I’m sorry, I’m going to kiss my computer screen where you reside. He’s averaging 418 feet per homer; Trout and Gallo ‘only’ averaged 419 feet. Speaking of Trout, Acuña or Trout for 2020? On the Player Rater, it’s clearly Tildaddy. At an ADP of 5 this year, he was a steal! If only I owned him in one league…*wavy lines starting a dream sequence* Hey, look, I have Acuña on all of my teams. *turns to mirror* Oh my God, I’m bald! Damn you, O. Henry! *wavy lines* I hate ironic dreams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Austin Riley to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
For a long time in his career, Jose Quintana seemed to be underrated in some fantasy circles and, if those people didn’t recognize Quintana’s genius, I’d call them jerks, so they were circle jerks. Early in his career, even his radar blips would end up being a tugboat filled with pandas rather a real scare. Then, later in his career, we boarded the tugboat and they were feral pandas. “Ling-Ling thinks my arm is bamboo!” Jose Quintana was no longer safe like the circle jerk Quintana, but became more of the feral panda Quintana. Recently, however, Quintana’s been a good blip again and the feral pandas are satiated with boba, greeting us with Panda Express menus. Yesterday, he went 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 4.11, and in three August starts: 1.89 ERA, 26 Ks and only one walk. He looks fixed, and I’m willing to give him more rope, but if I see one more gee-dee feral panda, all bets are off. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ruth/Gehrig, Mantle/Maris, Gio/Tauchman. Ya know, en bee dee, oh em gee, tee em eye, tee bee aitch, bee tee dubs, what the eff. It’s an all-New York week here at Razzball HQ. Yesterday, Gio Urshela (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) went and hit his 15th and 16th homer, and has five homers in his last 13 at-bats. Last year, he hit three homers, and two came in Triple-A! I’d cackle-snort, but who would hear me with this pillow over my mouth as I scream about not picking up Urshela last week? Of course, Urshela will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but, in any self-respecting league, he shouldn’t be available anymore. By the way, the Yankees became the 1st team in Major League history to hit 19 HRs in a four-game span. Our Commissioner Manfred just shipped in a new crate of baseballs, and they’re wrapped tighter than a hamster’s balloon knot. Let’s get some homers! Gulp, gulp up those juiced balls! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who would’ve thought little D.J. LeMahieu would be the best free agent signing of the past decade? Yeah, I said it! Mainly because I have an awful memory and suffer from extreme recency bias! He’s definitely the best signing of this preseason though. He’s 3 HRs away from setting a new career-high, already has a new career-high in RBI and is again leading his league in batting average as he did with the Rockies in 2016. His disappointing, injury-plagued 2018 caused his stock to dip a bit, but Brian Cashman is looking like a genius again for this signing. And oh yea, not that it matters to us, but he’s playing Gold Glove defense again at both 2B and 3B. Does defense matter to you? Do you use any defensive stats in any of your leagues?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Astros got two great starts this weekend from two guys who weren’t in the conversation until recently. On Saturday, Jose Urquidy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 5.54. He made my pants up-jump-the-boogie a little from his pitching. I expect multiple roofies from him still, but Urquidy is […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to PBMs and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. I should’ve used different mugs. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than owning Giancarlo Stanton in the 1st half. Oh, you owned him, and that’s why you drank the poison! Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2019 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2019 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Cody Bellinger number three on the top 100 list for the second half of 2019 and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with Bellinger. Why soil a good thing, ya know? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Aaron Judge did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, we have to believe in miracles — my 12-year-old self would want that, and to sleep with Cher. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2019. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2019:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s been a few weeks since I ranked the top 100 fantasy hitters and a lot has changed! Stranger Things season 3 has dropped, Josh Bell broke the record for most extra-base hits in the first half of an NL season, my wife had our first child, and Giancarlo Stanton got injured and hit the DL! Only one of those is the real reason I haven’t written an article in a while and yea, maybe I took Stanton getting hurt too personally.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Sonny Gray went 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.59 vs. the Brewers. *unloads pockets, eggplant emjois fall to the ground* I’m gonna need all of those. “Sonny came home” hasn’t had such a pleasant ring since Shawn Colvin opened an Art of Shaving booth at a Lilith Fair that only did armpit hair massages, and each payment was followed by a very pleasant, cash register ring. A Sonny hasn’t shone this bright since the last climate change summit that was held in Hellsunki on Urth, which is a planet that looks just like this one, but is 13,000 miles away and is exactly Earth but 25 years in the future, and they have some weird spelling. “I just got back from Hellsunki, and boy are my arms tired, because we don’t have planes on Urth, we fly with our arms.” Sonny Gray’s peripherals are surprising in a good way — 10.3 K/9, 3.3 BB/9, 3.46 xFIP. For those not up on the hoo-de-ha, that xFIP would be about 12th in the league and the K/9 and walk rates would firmly put him in the top 20 starters overall. In other words, everyone who owned him last year died for the sins of his current year’s owners. In other other words, he’s throwing fire like pitchers in Hellsunki. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Coming into last night the Baltimore Orioles were the fourth lowest scoring team in the league with 321 runs scored. They are still the fourth lowest scoring team today, but they did manage to score a season high 13 runs against Mike Clevinger and the Clevinger Indians. I mean Cleveland Indians. To be fair to Clevinger he was only responsible for seven of those runs over one and two thirds innings. Not exactly what his owners were hoping to see in his return from the IL. Am I the only one that thinks he looks like 2017 deGrom? And which one of them played Mitch in Dazed and Confused? But enough about that. After raking in Triple A and being called up to Baltimore back on June 3, Sisco has done very little. On Friday night he exploded with a homer, a double, a single, three runs and five RBIs! For my points readers, he had 18 points before this game in which he totaled 15 more nearly doubling his season total. While it was a great performance, Trey Mancini is the only Baltimore bat I’d consider owning. I say no thanks to Villar, in case you were wondering, but I do have a points league perspective. So I guess if you need saves he’s cool. You cool, man?Please, blog, may I have some more?
While sweet sixteens are traditionally celebrated by girls, it’s 2019 and so many lines have been blurred that we are living in a very “anything goes” society. Setting a new personal high, Walker Buehler struck out 16 Colorado Rockies while throwing a three-hit complete game gem. What I like most: Well I guess what I like most is the sixteen punch outs, but what I really like is the zero walks. Sixteen strikeouts and no walks is so sexy. How sexy? 2007 Grady Sizemore sexy. Walker did give up two solo home runs, but those were to two of the best hitters in baseball. Charlie Blackmon has been unbelievable lately and Nolan Arenado is Nolan Arenado. He did strike both of them out (Arenado twice) over the course of the game, but when you strikeout 16, that’s bound to happen. To put Buehler’s performance in terms my usual nine readers might better understand, he scored just under 50 fantasy points depending on if you league gives points for complete games. That’s the kind of points jolt that feels like a gut punch to your opponent when he checks his/her matchup and sees he’s playing Buehler.Please, blog, may I have some more?