Braves announced that Raisel Iglesias has a low-grade shoulder inflammation, and Orlando Arcia will fill-in. Wait, that’s wrong. That’s the next Braves news. This is the third time in Raisel’s career he’s missed time with shoulder issues, but it’s been about seven years since the last time. He won’t throw for a week, then will see where he’s at. To see where he’s at, put your hands together in prayer. Okay, that’s Iglesias, and here’s the steeple. Now, crack them slightly, and that’s the people picking up A.J. Minter. Now turn your hands inside out and that’s the people getting *ucked once again drafting a closer high. Where’s all my genius-brained people who told you to draft closers high? Are they now pretending like this is a fluke and not that closers are easily the most fickle position? It won’t show up in end-of-the-season rankings, but remember I told you not to draft Edwin Diaz and Raisel Iglesias in the first five rounds. That was other people, who will do the same thing again next year. And the year after. Don’t worry, some brain geniuses are still drafting a guy who had, like, 12.00 ERA last 2nd half. Josh Hader is great, don’t you know? Any hoo! The 2023 fantasy baseball rankings are up to date, and the top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball was updated for Iglesias, Minter, and Joe Jimenez (and others I will get to in this post). My guess is they’re in that order to replace Iglesias. For how long? I haven’t the foggiest. I’d guess a month, but you shouldn’t have drafted Iglesias anyway. Here’s the Fantasy Baseball War Room too, and good luck in weekend drafts! I will be in Vegas for the Main Event. I will be fighting Donkey Teeth. I mean, drafting with him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2023 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Ranger Suarez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Steve Cohen carrying a $2.4 billion in a briefcase. All the denominations are million dollar bills that he bought off Etsy for $999,999 apiece, because he gets a billionaire discount. The Wilpons enter the exchange with the glove Jesse Orosco threw into the air at the completion of the 1986 World Series. With this transaction, Cohen will become majority stakeholder in the New York Metropolitans. The exchange begins. Cohen hands the Wilpons the briefcase and the Wilpons hand Cohen Orosco’s glove, which is the deed to the Mets. As they go their separate ways, Cohen puts the glove on and realizes there was something in the webbing. He opens it to a monkey’s paw. This will go beautifully next to his formaldehyde shark, he thinks. Then he sees a little piece of paper in the monkey’s clutches. He unfurls the paper to read, “Enjoy the curse, sucker!”
Welp, if it wasn’t for bad luck, the Mets would have none. The Edwin Diaz injury is just the latest insanely unlucky thing to happen to the Mets. Whomever bargained the Mets’ soul for that ball going under Bill Buckner’s glove needs to make amends to the baseball gods, or wrap Scherzer and Verlander in bubble wrap! So, the top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball has been updated with news Edwin Diaz will miss the season; the top 500 for fantasy baseball has been updated. Grab the Fantasy Baseball War Room for any weekend drafts too; I’ll be using it for my Sunday Tout Wars draft. Wish me luck, kidding! Don’t need it! David Robertson is clearly Edwin Diaz’s successor, and it seems unlikely Ottavino gets anymore than a handful of saves. Assuming that freakin’ monkey paw doesn’t have a say in this! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2023 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It was a wild offseason for the National League, one highlighted by Trea Turner’s lucrative ($300 million) transition from the Dodgers to Phillies, along with fellow shortstop Xander Bogaerts’ introduction to the NL, via the San Diego Padres and $280 mil of his own. Two of the absolute best shortstops in the game are anchored […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is the top 100 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball? This is the top 100 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball! Which means. Dot dot dot. This is the end of the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings. I can reclaim my fingers! Wait, I still have to do the top 100 overall and top 500 overall. Hmm, that was short-lived. Subscriptions are up and running, and they come with our Fantasy Baseball Draft War Room, now for auction leagues, snake leagues, Best Ball leagues and AL-Only and NL-Only leagues. Here’s Steamer’s 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 for 2023 fantasy baseball and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball:
NOTE I: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.
NOTE II: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well. This is it. You’ve been thinking And I’ve been drinking We both know that it’s just so right Now you’re pretending That it’s not ending (The season) You’ll say anything to avoid a fight Grey don’t lie, and tell me that you need me Grey don’t cry, and tell me nothing’s wrong I’ll […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Hey, yo, long-time listener, first-time caller, this is Jimmy from Dyker Heights. The Mets, guy, are killin’ me with the freakin’ James McCann, guy. I said to my ma, “Ma, what are the Mets doing, guy, they’re throwing away everything they’ve built this year to have this stunod behind the plate. Why don’t they try callin’ up what’s-his-face Francisco Alvarez. He’s the future, right, guy? The right guy, guy? You know what I’m sayin’ here, guy. Jesus effin Christ, ma, lower your freaking Dean Martin, I’m on the phone with WFAN! I read on Razzball dot com this Prospect Itch guy said a few months ago, and I quote, ‘A rare backstop in that Francisco Alvarez features plus athleticism and foot-speed, Alvarez stands alone atop minor league catcher mountain after Adley Rutschman joined the Orioles. Alvarez generates easy loft from a strong natural uppercut. After demolishing A ball for 15 games, Alvarez got the quick bump to A+ and struggled a bit before surging to finish with 22 HR and 6 SB in 84 games. That’ll play. His 12/24.6 BB/K rate ain’t too shabby either, especially considering he was 3.9 years younger than his average competitor.’ Badda bing badda boom, call this guy up, guy!” So, Jimmy from Dyker Heights got his wish, and Itch’s words speak to the excitement we should have for Francisco Alvarez next year. For this year? Well, if you wanna try to catch lightning in a bottle by all means, guy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
WooWeeWooWaa.mp3. HolyCow.wav. Sound of eyes popping from Sylvester the Cat. Kyle Bradish did what? Kyle Bradish did: 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks vs. the Astros. I’m sorry, but I’m gonna sue somebody for making my heart pitter-patter too fast. Who do I contact for that? Oh, no, I’m…*puts handkerchief to forehead, faints into a beanbag that’s wearing Giancarlo jersey and pasted-on magazine face of his* Oh my goodness, I’m talking like a Southern belle. So, Streamonator‘s got steam rising from its robot ears that was so gorgeous. Looking at Kyle Bradish big picture, long-term, for 2023 fantasy baseball, and, well, he’s got four pitches — 95 MPH fastball, 87 MPH slider, 83 MPH curve, and 90 MPH change. His command is kinda atrocious, though better in his 100+ IP in the majors than it was in the low minors. Maybe he’s figured out something here as he turns 25. Not going to write him off completely, because Camden is now one of the best pitchers’ parks, and his stuff was solid in search of command. If the command’s there, I wouldn’t be shocked if he’s a name we go back to next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Houston Astros outfielder slash heir to the throne of the Southlands, destroyer of baseballs, Yordan Alvarez went for the hat trick Friday night going 4-for-4 (s/o Wendys!) with three home runs (34, 35, 36) including this 464 footer! That’s the longest shot of Yordy’s career and the three bombs in a single game is a […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hola, fellow español speakers! Today’s word is Triston Casas (1-for-4)! Let’s break it down into parts! Triston is pronounced Tris like a Tris Speaker. Not the old-timey baseball player, but like a speaker who is saying the word Tris. Next part is ton like, “I ate a ton of churros and now I am sneezing cinnamon sugar.” Say the last name with me now…Ca-thathss. The last part you say like a Spanish snake. Like a snake you find in the desert outside of Barth-a-lona. A snake with a lisp. Try the whole thing now, Triston Cathathss. Bueno! *maracas around room* Cathathss! Cathathss! Cathathss! So, yesterday or today or last week doesn’t really matter for when the Red Sox called up Triston Casas, but if you think he was called up on Sunday simply because now he’s earned his place, like he got the ring from Gollum and deposited in the mouth of some volcano or whatever that quest was of those hill trolls, you’re sadly mistaken. Triston Casas has been ready for a while, but baseball is still broken for when prospects are called up. Rather than change the world’s problems today, let’s look at Triston Casas. Hey, what do you know, I already gave you my Triston Casas fantasy! So ridiculous that I figured (correctly) he’d have 300+ ABs this year. Because he’s been ready! If you don’t care what I say, here’s what Itch said, “Triston Cases has learned late at-bat traits to help him hang against a variety of experienced pitchers, and perhaps he’s carried some of those hang-in-there strategies to early-count situations against pitchers he’s never seen before. Whatever it is, I like it. Unlike Grey, who I hate.” Really not cool! I’d grab Triston Casas in every league. He’s got elite approach and power. For what he will do the final month? No one knows, because it’s a small sample, but worth finding out. Finally, Casas is home. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
First thing you do in Cincy? Eat some spaghetti with chili. Second thing you do, take a picture by the Harambe statue in front of the Cincy Zoo. Third thing you do, make a wager with Pete Rose’s bookie. Fourth thing, tell people that like Johnny Bench used to hold seven baseballs in his hand, your daddy used to hold eight. Then, when asked, you show your father’s picture, which is Jimmy Connors. Fifth thing you do, is go to Great American Park and hit some homers. Tyler O’Neill (2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homer) knows what’s up; Albert Pujols (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer) knows how to hit the special baseballs marked by Manfred “Easy Fly” as he marches towards 700; Corey Dickerson (3-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 5th homer as he stays about as hot as anyone; TJ Friedl (1-for-4 with his 3rd homer) goes bang-zoomie, and is challenging Corey Dickerson as one of the hottest schmotatoes in fantasy; Stuart Fairchild (2-for-4 with his 4th homer) has three homers in four games as he keeps pace with Dickerson and Friedl; Chuckie Robinson (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer)…well, who the fu*kie is Chuckie Robinson? Is he What We Do In The Shadows’s Colin Robinson’s child that he had with that doll? So, Tyler O’Neill has been a real Richard Chamberlain in the side of his owners. Ya know, Chamberlain played a Thorn and O’Neill plays for the Cards, who are birds, so he’s a Thorn Bird. Are y’all following or do you need more crumbs? Honestly, I think O’Neill’s been hurt this year. This was supposed to be the year he cemented himself in the top 20 overall. Instead, he fit our fantasy teams for cement boots. His Launch Angle is down; his HardHit% is down; ground balls are up; listen, nothing’s working. If he has been hurt, then 2023 Tyler O’Neill could be a nice bounce back candidate next year. His price will definitely be much cheaper — “barely at all” is my guess. Can he bounce back? Absolutely. If the price for Tyler O’Neill in 2023 fantasy is where I think it might be, Tyler O’Neill is going to find himself on quite a few sleeper lists. For this year, I like him if he’s hot, but I stopped holding my breath. *lowers head, barely audible* Because I’m wearing a snorkel! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I know it’s stone fruit season, but check out the plums on the Diamondbacks! They called up Stone Garrett (2-for-3). Mean’s while, Corbin Carroll remains a stone’s throw away. What’s that all about? This guy may be Stone, but it’s still Rock and Carroll to me! Garrett’s numbers are goofy, and goofy is good. 28/15/.278 in 385 ABs should definitely get the berries tingling. Here’s what Prospect Itch has said, “(Diamondbacks’) AAA numbers are always inflated, but Garrett’s plus power and .375/.430/.764 slash line look good enough to mix in with that lineup, at least. Garrett’s a guy with big raw power, who gains a little value in an environment where it’s harder to clear the fence. He’s looking at near-term playing time and has enough speed to help us in roto leagues if he gets the time. If only I had time to beat up Grey.” Dude, cmon! In an NL-Only league, I’m absolutely interested. In mixed leagues, I’m kinda wait-and-see for now, but that could change very quickly. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
A crucible is a trial or challenge faced by a protagonist, where they endure a challenge and come out new and improved. Kind of like the time Grey brought us to Chucky Cheese as a “team building” exercise. Naturally, we all started sumo wrestling in the ball crawl pit, only to find that Grey had released several crocodiles among the balls. Where did he get the crocodiles, you ask? I dunno, I didn’t ask — I spent most of the evening consoling Son after he lost his big toe. But after that “Chucky Crocodile” experience, we emerged as a bonded team, readier than ever to do battle on the fantasy baseball front.
A lot of you are in that fantasy crucible right now. About 50 games remain in the season; I round up because I only work in base ten numbers. So, about 10 starts remain for your favorite hurlers, constituting about 25% of the season. Rankings fail more than ever now: playoff teams will rest their aces, non-playoff teams will give cups of coffee to their minor leaguers, and a quick search of the baseball news sites indicates some teams are talking six-man rotations already.
Of course, “rotation” can be loosely construed because minor league relievers are plentiful and can eat up plenty of innings. From August 17, 2021 until the end of the 2021 season, Paul Sewald made 26 appearances and made 26 IP. Comparatively, Logan Gilbert — the top starter for the Mariners last year — made 8 appearances and pitched 42 IP in the same span. Over on the White Sox, Michael Kopech made 16 appearances and notched 23 IP in the same span. Kopech pitched as many innings over the final bit of 2021 as did Carlos Rodon, who ran out of steam and watched his fastball velocity plummet. Sometimes, your fantasy dream is as much about letting go of players who have run out of steam as it is about finding new, shiny players.Please, blog, may I have some more?