Please see our player page for Bailey Ober to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Anyone that rosters Hunter Greene will understand this feeling. Greene doesn’t produce happiness until he’s out of the game. Can’t even watch him out of fear. Even when he’s pitching well, there’s a sense of dread that at any moment the other Greene will appear and he’ll walk the bases loaded, then give up a grand slam to the most random of hitters.

“And there’s a deep drive to Jose Herrera…”
“Did you make up that name?”
“I did not.”

There’s likely a German word for what Greene does to us. This state of not-happiness, not-sadness. Please suggest a glossary term in the comments for this type of pitcher, who pitches well but you can’t enjoy because you’re expecting the worst.

Yesterday, Hunter Greene (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.40) was absolutely butter on the back of a Corvette that had “TOAST” spraypainted on it. He could be again next time out. He absolutely could. If anyone tells you he absolutely will, they’re lying to you. There’s no way of knowing which Hunter Greene you’re going to get from start to start. Not yet, at least. At some point, he will be an ace, or blow out his elbow trying. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rockies aren’t good at home anymore and it’s so funny. Like, that’s the joke. The Rockies. Excuse me, the Jokies. Is that a thing? It is now! Bud Black is a joke, the entire organization is a joke. From top to bottom, just jokey joke jokes. The Jokies’ owner, Dick Monfort says, “Can’t believe we’ve got Kris Bryant locked up until he’s 37. We are so smart,” as Monfort pushes on a door that says pull. Also, and I know I joke a lot about the Jokies, so I have to tell you this is absolutely true, Dick Monfort appointed one of the majors’ youngest scouting directors. Who is this overachiever? His son! He appointed his son the scouting director. What’s his qualifications? I just told you! He’s his son! Any hoo! Edward Cabrera (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 9 Ks) threw a gem in Coors, in his first start up with the team. The command is pretty worrisome here. In Triple-A, he had a 4.6 BB/9 with a 4.56 ERA. I’m actually surprised he was promoted. The stuff is electric, but he could have some absolute roofies. Outside of NL-Only, I’d be concerned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

They say he’s the greatest Orioles catcher ever. They say the greatest catcher prospect since Yogi Berra. They are talking about Matt Wieters. “They” are Keith Law. He’s not the only one. I went back to the 2009 prospect guys to see what people were saying about Matt Wieters and found, “Has the power of Mark Teixeira,” and “a bat so potent he could be a two-time batting champion and one of the game’s biggest stars in almost two years.” Okay, I lied, those are all Keith Law quotes! Good for baseball that Wieters wasn’t its biggest star. Others were just as complimentary to Wieters with Kevin Goldstein, who got a job with the Astros and now the Twins said, “Wieters, Chris Tillman and Brian Matusz are can’t miss.” They had great things to say about Matt LaPorta too. Who? Not sure, I think Matt LaPorta is French for doormat. From that draft alone, there was no mention of Madison Bumgarner, Giancarlo, Freddie Freeman, Josh Donaldson, or even Travis d’Arnaud, all guys drafted after Wieters and LaPorta. Why mention any of this? Just tamping down Adley Rutschman enthusiasm with this hype-cleaver. That’s my Tamp-ax! Wait, maybe it’s not a good idea to say that. So, this is a weird way to start a post where I say I’d absolutely pick up Adley Rutschman in every league. Killing enthusiasm with my Tampax. Yikes, need to stop saying that. The Tampax (this is not a sponsored post, by the way) is simply to stop up hype that Rutschman will be a top five catcher as soon as he’s called up. I don’t think he will, but he could be. Think 15 HRs and .280 for four months. It’s irrelevant what he was even doing in the minors. He was ready two years ago. He’s worth adding in all leagues if you’re struggling at catcher, Tampax be damned. Period. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sun beating down across a desert landscape. Sweat beading from my forehead. I lift a thermos to my face and spray my face with liquid to freshen myself. “I think I just sprayed my face with urine,” I say to no one, because no one is around. A mirage from the sand rises; it’s Pegasus. The horsey with wings kneels in front of me so I can get on. Pegasus turns to me and says, “I need to get you to an internet cafe so you can put Ronald Acuña Jr. in your lineup.” Thank you, Pegasus! Thank you, Ronald Acuña Jr.! Thank you, Tildaddy! Okay, now I’m just singing that crappy Alanis song, Thank you. I really needed Acuña (1-for-5, 1st and 2nd steal, hitting leadoff). Now stay on the field, Tildaddy says it’s October! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week was fantastic. All five of our pitching streamers did well, and it has me excited to keep rolling here. One thing that you need to know about me is that I play in about 30 fantasy leagues (Yes, I’m a degenerate). That means I use these streamers and gamble on these guys regularly […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

OK, Good Friday was last week and my headline is invalid. Not so fast, I’m obviously referring to Orthodox Good Friday. Yes, some of us are just a little more Christian than others. The good Fantasy Lord has blessed us with some real mediocre to bottom-barrel saviors this past Good-er (Better?) Friday, and if you’re […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What transpired this preseason: Coolwhip reached out to me to see if I was going to write a Nestor Cortes sleeper, because he liked him and wanted to write one. I said, “Nah, I don’t think I’m going to write one, but I like him too!” What Coolwhip didn’t know, what no one could’ve known, I hadn’t looked at Nestor Cortes at all. I said I liked him because Coolwhip said he liked him. Then I waited for Coolwhip to give us his Nestor Cortes sleeper, and, after he did, I said, “Yeah, exactly, that’s what I would’ve wrote too!” Stats and image provided by Coolwhip:

“(M)ain thing to note is in 2021 Nestor started 14 games. Before that, he had only started a grand total of… (carry the 1… multiply by square root…) 2 games. 2 games, that’s it. So this was a bit of a new foray for him. It’s not often that you go from the pen to starting and your numbers improve drastically. Not just a little mind you; but by every conceivable measure, he got better. His K-rate went up, BB-rate went down, and he cut home runs in half while suppressing hard contact and limiting runners.”

Nestor did this by scrapping the sinker and curve, and replacing them with a cutter. Also, he varies his release point a lot, like nearly every pitch. I half expect him to throw right-handed occasionally. Yesterday, Nestor Cortes (5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 0.00) threw an immaculate 4th inning, and changed his release on nearly every pitch. This is magic:

In 9 1/3 IP this year, Nestor Cortes has 17 Ks. That’s in two starts, or one Nolan Ryan start. Pardon me while I put my eyes back in my head. Nestor Cortes’s 16.4 K/9, 0.96 BB/9 and -0.26 FIP is pretty good, if you’re lacking for adjectives. You really have to be impressed with Nestor so far this year, he’s looking as brilliant as me blindly agreeing with Coolwhip. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s time to straight-up John McClain this article: We’ve had three days of professional baseball in 2022 and that don’t mean Donkey Teeth. If any tout is out there telling you to sell the farm and trade Juan Soto for Starty McStarter-Pants (two last names, how modern!), just mute them right now. It takes at least three outings to make a trend. Ugh. 10% of the season? OK, OK, lemme rephrase that: It takes at least 10% of the season to make a trend. Crap, that just says the same thing but I put the italics somewhere else…ENYWHEY. There’s a freaking reason you put your effort into drafting an awesome team, and unless you went Jacob deGrom/Lance Lynn to start, your job right now is to hold the line.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hey, kid, welcome to the bigs! Bigs are what we now call the bags, because they’re big. During the lockout of 2022, in effort to fix the game, MLB started using couch cushions at each base and the frame of the couch as home plate. So, in the bigs, you just collect the cushions as you round the bases and put them in the couch to score at home. See, ‘home’ is already there in the name, and the MLB owners were smart enough to realize that. Plus, it helps them reach a new demographic. Kids love furniture.” Wakes with a sudden jolt. Whoa, I was having a nightmare that MLB was in a lockout, and instead of figuring out the financials for both sides, they were making the bases bigger. That wasn’t a nightmare? Oh, crap, I’m going back to sleep. Though, now I kinda understand Rudy’s hitter projections for Oneil Cruz. He’s 7’4″, so bigger bags means he just needs to make one step towards 1st base, hence Cruz’s projected .282 average. So, the TGFBI is an industry league of ‘perts from all different sites, competing against each other. The league is a 30-round draft, 15-team, mixed league with weekly waivers. Kinda like the Draft Champions, 15-team leagues we do at NFBC. By the way, who wants to do another league? I need to draft to fill this pre-pre-preseason. (If you want to compete against me and a few hundred of your worst frenemies, here’s our Razzball Commenter Leagues signups.) So, here’s my 15-team, mixed league, TGFBI draft recap and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, then to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In honor of the MLB lockout, I walked into a Starbucks, wearing a full baseball uniform, with stirrups, and ordered one of those 45-ingredient drinks that all the baristas hate to make, then said my name was Rob Manfred, and started screaming, “Don’t tell anyone the MLB Commissioner was in here! Do you hear me?! Don’t you dare tell anyone! Don’t call TMZ and send them the video you’re taking of me right now! Don’t you dare tell them Rob Manfred, MLB Commissioner, didn’t tip you either! That’s HIPA, so don’t you dare tell everyone any of that!” Then I stepped out of the store with my $37-dollar unicorn Frappuccino, took a big sip and realized they prolly spit in it. So, me and a bunch of Razzball commenters got together and took part in an NFBC Draft. I’m down to start another draft too, if there’s demand. Just ping the comments with a note that says something like, “Didn’t I see you in a Starbucks ordering a unicorn frappe?” I’ll make signups for the draft available on our Patreon first. For this draft, I used my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings (dur) and so did others, which screwed me real good, especially when someone drafted Steven Kwan like 150 picks before his ADP. You know who you are! This left me with a total shizzshow of an outfield, so that’s fun! Well, we’ll leave something for the recap, shall we? Yes, we shall! Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap; it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, draft and hold league that goes 50 rounds and has no waivers:

Please, blog, may I have some more?