Please see our player page for Zach Eflin to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Hope our five girl readers had a beautiful Mother’s Day yesterday. I sent my mother a trade offer sending her Tyler Flowers and Goodrum. She appreciated the thought. Also, I wore pink the entire day for you mothers, because that is a very girly color that baseball keeps perpetuating every year. Why can’t mothers be into purple or lavender or mauve or rose or fuchsia or flamingo or other shades of a color similar to purple or pink? How about next year all players wear lavender pants suits for Mother’s Day? Ooh, I have an idea. Since all pink bats are relegated to the trash bin after Mother’s Day, how about players use them again to raise awareness to spay or neuter your pets?  Like an in-heat bitch (medical term in vet school), George Springer was hot with that pink bat (more vet med terms), going 5-for-5, 5 runs, 4 RBIs with his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .321.  The good news is he’s finally living up to his top 10 potential.  The bad news is his owners from last year are on suicide watch.  But, hey, it’s not us, right?! (Actually, it is me. Damn.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On April 7th, Derek Dietrich admired his 3rd home run of the season for an ungodly amount of time.  The last straw for the opposing team was when he paused before running to first, placed a Craigslist ad, waited five days for a sketch artist to respond, then had the sketch artist draw him rounding the bases.  Then when he got to third and saw the first draft of the drawing, yelled, “No freakin’ charcoal,” and paused for another few days to find someone who worked in pen.  After that display, everyone was calling Dereck Dietrich a hot dog, even the world’s leading critic of hot dogs, the guy driving the Weinermobile.  Of course, none of this was blown out of proportion like Tim Anderson.  Cut to weeks later and we’ve realized why Dietrich wanted to study his home run trot.  He was perfecting it.  On Friday, he hit his 6th and 7th homers, then his 8th homer on Saturday and his 9th homer on Sunday (1-for-3, hitting .257).  I doubt it continues, but I also can’t imagine a reason to not ride the hot schmotato while it’s going on.  As 50 Cent’s fantasy baseball team is named:  Get Dietrich or Dietrich Tryin’.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Subliminally, I nod my whenever Reynaldo Lopez is mentioned.  It’s a disease similar to Jimmy Legs; it’s called Lo-Pez Head.  Yesterday, my Lo-Pez Head nodded for all the good he was doing (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunenrs (3 BBs), 14 Ks, ERA at 6.03).  Lopez faced Murmurer’s Row of Detroit and sent them down, down, down, down–how many downs is that?  4 downs at three downs per down, that’s still only 12 downs and he had 14.  Damn, that’s too many Ks for even the Alt-Right Sox.  Usually Reynaldo Lopez rattles off a bag of Dick Poles.  Am I now interested?  Do I look *makes nutter rolly finger motion on side of head*?  He was once a big-time prospect with a mid-90s MPH fastball that can hit straight-boing type levels.  I see his current 11.2 K/9 and get weak in the knees, can barely speak, but his 4.9 BB/9 is his usual Pitfall Harry and his 5.47 xFIP doesn’t scream confidence like a man with 100-point font.  I’d continue to view him as a streamer for now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s nothing quite like the mid-season grind and we’re in the thick of it at this point. Something I’m looking forward to this week is all of the players returning from the IL. While that doesn’t necessarily impact our streamers, it is something to keep an eye on when constructing lineups. In terms of streamers, we need to keep track of the weather. There is rain forecasted all over the country in the midst of spring and it could definitely alter some of these starts. With that in mind, let’s get started with some two-start streamers. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Due to the light schedule, let’s drill down on Cody Bellinger (2-for-4 and his 10th homer, hitting .432).  If man love bothers you, perhaps you should shield your eyes.  This could become naughty, and, yes, I need to remove my pants to write the rest of this.  Cody is 2 1/2 home runs from being halfway to last year’s homer total.  How does one hit a 1/2 of a home run?  You hit it out of the park, then pimp with a bat flip so long you get tackled rounding 2nd.  Right now, Bellinger’s HR/FB% is absurd.  He’s not even hitting that many fly balls.  It’s just everything he touches goes bim-bam-zoom to the moon.  Can that continue, you ask with your doe eyes and soft lips.  You drafted Goodrum on too many teams, because you sound drunk.  Of course, it won’t continue.  His launch angle last year, when he hit 25 homers, was 16 degrees.  This year it’s 13.  He is hitting the ball damn hard, though.  He’s third in the majors with 96 MPH average exit velocity.  I’d be shocked if he hits less than 35 homers, but I also don’t think he’s going to hit more than his career high of 39 homers, if his fly ball rate holds.  His strikeout rate has absolutely cratered, in a good way, but, of course, when a guy is hitting well, he’s not striking out.  He will go cold, turkey, and cold turkey on power at some point.  It’s early, yadda-blabbity-bloo, so don’t panic sell.  He’s now a legit top 15 bat vs. the top 40 one we thought he might be in the preseason.  Now, I will put back on my linen Tommy Bahama pants and continue.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As Ice Cube sang on the now-iconic song, It Was An Away Game, “Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God.  Today, German was away, carrying my whole squad.”  Then later on, he sings, “I felt ill after that big fat DeSclafani, pitching like he just pulled out of bed in jammies, but German killed those baserunners like every role by Allison Janney.  And my teams run deep so deep so deep I’d put your ass to sleep talking about how on one team Alex Cobb’s my number one, but I didn’t hesitate to call German Marquez my top gun.”  Imagine you were a Rockies fan who only watched home games, the team’s contract with German Marquez (9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.00) would be tré confusing.  After 100 pitches, he is so low effort throwing 97 MPH in the 9th inning, and occasionally drops in an off-the-table curve that is freaking brothers every way like M.J.  I can’t believe today German’s game was away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Blake Snell ($12,000) may look like a 16 year old on the verge of shaving, but he’s a bonafide skull crusher between the white lines.  Not only that, but with the Red Sox and Yankees struggling, his Tampa Bay Rays are the toast of the AL East so far this year.  Senior Zilla has upped his game to the alternative rock tune of a 2.84 ERA, .89 WHIP, and 12.79 K/9 this year.  Cue Dave Grohl’s killer snares.  Honestly, his numbers against the current Jays, whose only power comes from the left side (that Snell neutralizes), are downright brilliant.  They hit .123 with a .364 OPS against him, and he has a 2.96 ERA in Rogers Center to boot.  His man competition, Justin Verlander, is facing the red hot Mariners, which gives Snell the clear edge for best start of the day.  Now let’s take a look at the rest of the slate today.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 3-for-6, 6 RBIs with his 4th, 5th and 6th homer, hitting .258.  “Thanks,” said Gary Sanchez’s owner from 2018, and I believe he was being sarcastic. You know how when you’re walking on the sidewalk and try to avoid stepping on the cracks because of the harm it will cause to your mother’s back?  Then as you’re OCD-stepping around the cracks, you get off-step and start only stepping on cracks, and your mom texts you, “My back!”  That’s what it must feel like for Sanchez’s 2018 owners.  I know how you feel because that’s how it feels right now for me with Rougned Odor.  I’m out in 2018 when Odor is decent, then in for this year’s abomination.  When I’m supposed to avoid, I don’t and, when I’m supposed to be in on them, I’m not.  FMFBBL!  If you have Sanchez, well done, it looks like you’re back in for the good Gary.  “Did someone say ‘back?'”  Sorry, mom!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trea Turner broke his finger when he squared around to bunt.  He hit two homers in his last game, including a walk-off homer, so of course he’s bunting.  I mean, OF COURSE.  Why wouldn’t he be bunting?  You gonna let (fill-in name) just be the best bunter in Major League history?  (Fill-in name of a bunter that no one’s ever heard of because no one cares about bunting) is not gonna go down in history as the greatest bunter without a freakin’ fight from Trea Turner?  Is he?  I mean, IS HE?!  What in the holy eff bombs!?  Don’t bunt!  Turner will likely be out for a month and everything that is wonderful can’t be mine.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do you like roast pork with provolone and broccoli rabe? Do you find John Kruk both devilishly handsome and well spoken? Can you recite from memory Michael Jack Schmidt’s retirement speech, including the exact moment he breaks down in tears? Do you know what jawn means? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re a Phillies fan. This jawn is for yous. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?