by: Grey
“Hello, Personalize Any Jersey Emporium, you’ll make anything I want, right? Okay, great. So, I will provide you a Royals jersey, but on the back I want the name, Middleton, and on the front I’d like a cartoon drawing of the Princess of Wales Catherine aka Kate Middleton
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It’s Double Dong Day at Jake Burger’s! “Burger dongs,” he said thoughtfully, “That was what Dan Schneider made me say on the set of Good Burger while I massaged his shoulders.” Former host of Double Dare, Marc Summers shuddered, continuing, “I never want to hear that or ‘I don’t know’ again.” He looked up at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I am stubborn, but not so stubborn that I can’t admit a mistake. I wanted to watch Cole Ragans (6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.46) and be honest with myself if I thought it was a mistake calling him overrated in the preseason. I didn’t want to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?You In January, “You ranked Bryce Harper where? At 11th overall? I feel like, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you might’ve hit your head and unleashed another part of your brain that most people hide. Let’s call it, The Stupid Brain. And by you unleashing The Stupid Brain, it’s caused you to do stupid things. Like the Bryce Harper ranking. If you didn’t hit your head and you think The Stupid Brain is actually your The Smart Brain, let me be the first person to say, no, it’s absolutely stupid.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, this is crazy, I was in the supermarket line yesterday reading about an illegitimate child that Betty White had with a Mexican man while she was protesting with Cesar Chavez, and they named him…You’re gonna wanna sit down. His name was…Ronel Blanco!
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Referencing Wikipedia liberally here: Trey Lipscomb, a very famous barber in the 1840s who could twirl three mustaches at the same time. Johnny Appleseeds, children between the ages of 8-13 in the 1840s, used to exclaim, “You are a hero, Mr. Lipscomb, for us, Johnny Appleseeds, and you will never be forgotten by golly,” as […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Okay…Imagine this! I come out on stage in a sequins head-to-toe jumpsuit, clapping hands above my head! The audience is like, “Is that 70’s Elvis?” No! It’s Grey and The Hittin’ Jacks! On guitar we have Jackson Merrill, on drums Jackson Holliday and on bass, it’s the one and only, Jackson Chourio!
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
As I peer out over the green grass fields, I’m reminded of my youth. A wee boy with eyes watering, scratching because I wanted the baseball to be played so badly. I was fiending and overheated! I was The Rock but obsessed with baseball, “Can you smell what the verdant is cooking!?” I yelled at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Don’t want to get all emotional but today begins the best six months of your life, except for the last Opening Day, and the Opening Day before that and the Opening Day before that, not the Opening Day before that though, we don’t talk of that Opening Day anymore.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Official baseball starts in a few days, but it’s time to focus on what’s important: insane preseason predictions! Before we dive deep into countless hours rearranging lineups, FAAB bids, and making trade offers in order to win a couple hundred dollars in our friends and family league, which equates to roughly twenty-eight cents per hour, we here at Razzball want to take a moment and document some predictions for the upcoming season.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture than to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Jackson Holliday didn’t make the O’s Opening Day roster, because he has to work on how he carries himself around the bases after a home run. A bit too upright! Can’t say I’m surprised. Honestly, I’m not at all.
Please, blog, may I have some more?