Some guys who I label sleepers are about where they’re being drafted vs. where they should be drafted.  With Jonathan Villar, I just want to write about him.  I don’t really care where he’s being drafted.  I’m pretty sure he’s being drafted too low.  He definitely is compared to where I think he can perform.  Even more so, if you consider where a guy like Adalberto Mondesi is being drafted.  I know some of you are turning your nose up at anyone on the Orioles.  I kapeesh that, but what if I told you a team had to start a guy 155 games because they’re next best option is Breyvic Valera.  Would you say, “Crap, I didn’t know they had Breyvic Valera” or would you say, “You just made up the name Breyvic Valera?”  Or would you say, “Breyvic Valera is the mayor of my town in the Ukraine.”  How about that Steve Wilkerson, huh?  He’s gonna steal time from Villar?  No, Steve Wilkerson is not the guy in your office who makes uncomfortably long eye contact with you.  He’s some schmohawk the Orioles have on their depth chart.  The Orioles’ depth chart is a lot like an eye chart.  Everyone who looks at it squints.  Villar also has the ability to play all around the field if the Orioles have the terrible misfortune to lose Chris Davis, Renato Nunez or any other schmohawk currently penciled into the lineup.  If Villar can stay healthy, he might see 600 ABs.  Just thinking of that made my eyes spin rapidly and land on cherries.  Anyway, what can we expect from Jonathan Villar for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dave Roberts just shuddered when he read the title.  “Listen, Max Muncy was just great, but you don’t want great out there, you want…” Then Dave Roberts ran through a stop sign and took home without a throw, but, that was because he was in his car and no one tries to throw you out when you’re heading to your home in a car.  Dave Roberts then kicked over a pile of leaves, and, when he was obstructed from our view, he rubbed dirt on his jersey, then he smelled his armpits and said, “Hustle,” like he was Molly Shannon saying, “Superstar.”  As of right now, Max Muncy is penciled in as a starter, but where?  1st base?  2nd base?  3rd base?  Outfield?  Who’s on 1st?  What’s on 2nd?  I don’t know!  3rd base?  He played them all last year, so I’m assuming Dave Roberts can have the decency to find 400 ABs for his best hitter last year.  For as late as I’ve been seeing him drafted (as late as 150 overall), if he gets 400 ABs, Muncy is going to blow away anyone drafted around him.  If Roberts has a brain fart, and poofs out something that makes sense, Muncy could sneak into 450+ ABs, and shock the world for the 2nd time in two seasons.  Anyway, what can you expect from Max Muncy for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

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I considered making this post:  Tyler Austin and Jake Cave, 2019 Fantasy Baseball SleeperS!  Though, I likely wouldn’t have capped the S.  I did that for you, Dear Reader.  I didn’t make this a duo sleeper post, because I think I have OCD and I like to keep shizz tidy and stylized as all previous sleepers.  That doesn’t mean if Jake Cave breaks out I won’t continue to go back to this post, because I’m equally excited about both Tyler Austin and Jake Cave.  Or as Google suggests, Jake Man Cave.  Yes, he is a man, but I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.  So, why not just do a separate post for Jake Cave?  Because no one cares about him.  I tweeted at Jake Cave and he seems to barely care:

He responds with a GIF?  Really?  That doesn’t scream confidence to me.  What, you can’t reply fully to a random Twitter person who you don’t know who is obviously only interested in you as a fantasy baseball entity who wants to keep calling you Jack Cave?  Anyone that apathetic worries me.  Though, you can’t spell apathetic without Pac.  So…hmm.  Even with his inability to hit lefties (.194 vs. lefties), he had the 22nd highest barrels per at-bat, the same as Javier Baez, and Cave’s average home run distance was 419 feet, which was 5th in the majors for that many plate appearances.  If this were about Jake Cave, and not Tyler Austin, I’d tell you Cave was the 2nd lowest for soft contact (8.6%), making better contact overall than Joey Votto, Voit, Matt Carpenter, Freeman, Betts, Just Dong and, well, every other player in the majors except Eugenio Suarez.  Unlike Tyler Austin, Cave looks like he has the starting job, and could be the one guy who no one drafts who ends up on 100% of fantasy teams by season’s end, cranking so many homers that everyone is going to be like, “What?”  Pause. Eyes bulge.  “WHAT?”  If this were about Jake Cave and not Tyler Austin, I’d tell you my Jake Cave 2019 projections were 61/22/68/.259/4 in 476 ABs with a chance for more.  However, this is not about Jake Cave.  Anyway, what can we expect from Tyler Austin for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s gonna be a lot to like with Luke Voit, but it’s fair to get out of the way upfront the issues. The Yankees haven’t fully committed to him.  Aaron Boone said Voit “has a leg up” on the 1st base job for 2019.  That sounds positive, but if Boone was watching a dog pee on a fire hydrant while saying this, then it might be a negative.  My guess is Boone wasn’t watching Animal Planet, and it’s good news.  Well, relatively good.  It says a lot about the Yankees that they’re not just handing Voit the job.  On the other hand (were we weighing options on hands?), the Yankees did give Greg Bird so many chances to win the 1st base job.  Since we’re using our hands anyway, I’m going to count on my fingers, and say Bird was given three seasons to win the job, and the third finger in is the middle finger, which is appropriate for flipping the Bird.  So, the Yankees don’t need a ‘big’ name at 1st base.  Now that Bird’s flew the coop, and is likely headed to being a throw-in a trade, the Yankees don’t have any immediate other obvious option, besides Voit.  So, Cashman has proven he will give the 1st base job to someone as unhearlded previously as Voit, and the Yankees should also know from this past season, they can win a lot of games with Voit as the 1st baseman.  Pitching is more of a real baseball team need, than 1st base.  So, what can we expect from Luke Voit for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Winter Meetings called it quits this week, and that was perhaps the worst Winter Meetings on record.  Was it because it was in Vegas?  Maybe there were a bunch more trades, but they all “stayed” in Vegas.  The Mariners kept busy gathering veterans who will never play for them, as they grabbed Edwin Encarnacion from the Indians for Carlos Santana.  You remember Santana, he was the last vet that the M’s traded for that won’t play for them.  If the Mariners are trading for vets who won’t actually play for them, they should grab Harold Baines so he can’t go into the Hall of Fame, because last time I checked active players aren’t allowed into the Hall.  Or why bother sticking with baseball players.  C’mon, Mariners, trade for Michael Jordan or Big Show or Turtle from Entourage.  It’s not like you have any expectation of them donning an M’s uniform.  So, the assumption is that Edwin will go to the Rays to bury their recently acquired Yandy Diaz.  You’d think a guy with guns like Yandy Diaz would be doing the burying.  If you don’t know what I mean, see the picture below.  If I don’t bring out the Crisco and apply the shortening, this post will be longer than The Fountainhead, so let’s just say you know Encarnacion, whether he’s on the Rays or Mariners.  For my Encarnacion projections I am assuming he’ll be on the Rays, and putting him at 78/33/91/.241/2 in 523 ABs, and I already gave you my Carlos Santana projections after his last trade, but am upping him slightly to 74/24/84/.232/2 in 563 ABs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:

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Up front I have to get it out of the way, I hate the Rays for hitting sleepers in shallower mixed leagues. They have five platoons set up already and we’re not even at Spring Training yet.  Once we hit March, there’s going to be at least seven possible platoons.  Platoons are good for liberty, bad for fantasy baseball, i.e., libertad/libertbad. The trade of Mallex Smith helps the case for Austin Meadows and, specifically, his playing time, i.e., you can’t spell libertad without trade.  (I tried too.)  In the Rays’ outfield, there’s still Kevin Kiermaier, Tommy Pham, Brandon Lowe, who I want to get playing time, and Guillermo Heredia, who I don’t want to get playing time but will likely because of that reason.  Kevin Cash divvies up so much playing time we should call him, Kevin One Of Those Change Belts Teenagers Who Work At Arcades Wear.  That’s pretty pithy.  Anyway, what can we expect from Austin Meadows for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

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Everyone is clamoring for a Daniel Palka post.  Don’t even try to lie.  I know how hotly contested this is gonna be.  Fine!  Daniel Palka is a bore, but let’s look at this way.  Imagine everyone lining up every sleeper post ever written.  What’s the number one sleeper post of all time?  The November 1995 sleeper post about Brady Anderson and how a 16-homer hitter was about to hit 50 homers?  A 2010 Jose Bautista sleeper post about how a 13-homer hitter was about to hit 54 homers?  A 2000 Darin Erstad sleeper about how he was about to hit .355?  Richard Hidalgo that same year about to hit 44 homers?  Before each of those posts, they were snoozes too.  Hence, sleepers!  So, before you place your iPhone on the ground with this post open so your dog can rub its ass on Palka, let’s hold judgment.  Anyway, what can we expect from Daniel Palka for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

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Talk about a guy who could be completely off radars next year, and be huge.  I’m hummna-hummna’ing before I even start.  Let’s talk team sitch first.  You’re gonna need a seatbelt for this one, because I’m going neck deep fast like a snake coming up a toilet drain.  Ramon Laureano takes a walk, and not just at 8 AM with a senior at a mall going to get lunch.  He might sneak into a .370 OBP, and, if I’ve learned anything from Fat Jonah and Billy Beane on a treadmill in Moneyball, a solid OBP guy means he’s going to hit leadoff for the A’s.  The A’s who last year scored the fourth most runs in the league and were sorely missing a leadoff man.  They tried Marcus Semien for 292 ABs, saying, “Let’s give Semien a shot!  Hey…that’s not mud in my eye.”  They gave Martini a shot at leadoff for 120 ABs and, like a bad episode of Sex in the City, Martini is what led to Semien, so we know how well that worked out.  Unless they trade for someone else this offseason, and I see no reason why they would, who else is leading off in Oakland?  Piscotty?  Olson?  Chapman?  They shouldn’t be, and, Billy Beane pulling the strings on that giant puppet-shaped Bob Melvin willing, they won’t.  Nomar backwards will.  If they can do a surgery on a grape, Laureano can be the A’s leadoff hitter for 400+ ABs.  So, what can we expect from Ramon Laureano for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

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Off the bat (up the middle, pasta diving Jeter!), I don’t know if Michael Conforto will be a sleeper.  I’m drafting him like he’s not a sleeper, and I see some other ‘perts drafting him like he’s not a sleeper, but, then I see some common folk drafts (I’m so highfalutin!), and I think how on earth did Conforto last that long?  That’s a sleeper.  For unstints, I ranked Eddie Rosario last year in the top 75 overall and called him a sleeper.  In some leagues, that would not have been a sleeper.  Michael Conforto is going to be samesis in 2019.  On a more philosophical note and worth discussing briefly, what a sleeper is changes depending on what company you’re keeping.  What a sleeper is is (stutterer!) amorphous.  In some leagues, Adalberto Mondesi might be a sleeper.  In other leagues, he’ll be drafted in the top 15 (I’ve seen it, don’t @ me). Last year, I named Eddie Rosario and Ben Gamel as outfielder sleepers.  Gamel sucked donkey balls, granted, but can you see how different those are in terms of sleeper?  Yes?  Good, then I can begin to belabor some other point.  Last year, Conforto went 78/28/82/.243/3 in 543 ABs.  Sounds like a poor man’s Piscotty.  I will call him Piss-on-a-cot-ty and move right along!  OR WILL I?!  Damn, you reversal question, you nearly gave me a heart attack.  Oh, you best believe there’s more where this came from, Conforto’s on the come, which is a phrase that I would never say in front of my mother.  She has virgin ears, don’t tell me different.  So, what can we expect from Michael Conforto for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Cardinals acquired Paul Goldschmidt for Luke Weaver, Carson Kelly and Andrew Young.  Or as they’re known in St. Louis, “Giggle, giggle, WUT.”  I’ll go over the “Giggle, giggle WUT” part of the trade after the lede jump.  As for Goldschmidt, Au Shizz was “aw shizz” until the beginning of June last year, as he hit .144 in May.  However, Au Shizz’s BABIP in May was .186, and his strikeouts boomed to 31.5%, because he was in an extended slump.  He still ended the season more valuable (33/7/.290) than, say, Freddie Freeman who played 162 games (23/10/.309).  Au Shizz still feels pretty risk-free, like you getting to the airport four hours before your flight.  At least less risky than your November charity pledge to go “condom free” or dressing as Jar Jar Binks for a Star Wars convention.  For 2019, I’m giving Au Shizz the projections of 102/30/105/.284/8 in 574 ABs.  He also scrambles up the Cards’ infield a bit.  Carpenter picks up his tools and screws Gyorko out of a 3rd base job, and Jedd’s on the wrong side of the Wong 2nd base platoon.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?