As Yogi Berra once famously put, “It’s like deja vu all over again.” Yogi also said, “Can you give my son, Dale, a job?” But no one ever talks about that Yogi-ism. This might be a first for me, we’re back with another Carlos Correa 2023 fantasy baseball outlook. This time, it’s for real. I think.

At the 11th hour, the Giants claimed Carlos Correa’s physical revealed an issue. What issue? Oh, just, ya know, something or other. Giants claimed it was from Correa’s time dating back…Dot dot dot. Pre-MLB. This is becoming more and more dubious. Are we going to get Correa’s origin story where he hurt his wrist on a garbage can in junior high, and vowed revenge against all garbage cans, planning to beat them? Giants are the ones with the injury, they got cold feet! Got ‘em! Honestly, would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall for the Giants’ front office convo:

“13 years? This is nuts, can we back out?”
“Sure, we’ll say we found something on his physical.”
“We’re the team that signed Mitch Haniger, and we’re backing out due to an injury risk?”
“Uhh…”

So, enter stage right: MLB’s own Montgomery Burns, the Mets’ Steve Cohen. “Mr. Cohen, are you sure you want to give Correa $300 million-plus over 12 years? It’s going to cut into your formaldehyde shark money.” That’s Cohen’s financial advisor. 

Carlos Correa goes to the 1927 Mets. They’re more stacked than pancakes at IHOP. They’re so stacked Eduardo Escobar won’t even be a regular. Okay, he’s not exactly Howard Johnson, the player, not the motel, but I’m having a hard time imagining a team where he’s not an everyday starter. Maybe the Phillies once Bryce returns. Any hoo! It’s a great lineup, and Correa no longer looks like a diamond in a lineup of zirconia. Metco won’t help Correa; he couldn’t hit 27+ homers with the Crawford Boxes, so he’s not a great bet to do it now. He only once cleared 150 games too. The lineup with his on-base skills will be the biggest net positives. Still think he’s overrated for fantasy, and this isn’t going to help that. For 2023, I’ll give Carlos Correa projections of 104/25/83/.283/2 in 558 ABs. Giants fans, try not to think about the Mets too much, and just enjoy all those Wilmer Flores and J.D. Davis at-bats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Already gave you my Jordan Walker fantasy. Really, really like him. Already gave you my Gunnar Henderson fantasy. I really, really, really like him, by the by. Already gave you my Josh Jung fantasy. I really like him. Okay, so I didn’t put those in order, but you can count the “really”s. I mention these guys because I tried to give you 3rd basemen sleepers, because that position is the dog’s breakfast, and the dog ain’t eating eggs and bacon in the morning with a side of pancakes, barely chewing it and spitting it into your mouth, so it’s still yummy. This is to give you context. If Jose Miranda were an outfielder, I’m not sure I’d be here telling you about how he’s a great 2023 fantasy baseball sleeper. I might not be telling you about this great Jose Miranda 2023 fantasy baseball sleeper, if he were only eligible anywhere else besides 3rd base, tee bee aitch. Jose Miranda has no speed, so he needs to excel in the other four categories, or I need to read myself the Miranda rights. “You have the right to remain silent about fantasy baseball sleepers. Anything you say can and will be used against you around June/July, when some random commenter brings up your sleeper post from December, and your sleeper looks like crap. You have the right to blame Steamer for their projections if they also liked the player and, if they didn’t, then you have the right to blame an unforeseen injury, swing change or bad luck. If you can’t afford to be bothered to come up with a decent excuse, then you will be dragged mercilessly.” So, what can we expect from Jose Miranda for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was clear where Dansby Swanson was going to sign once he got married. Mallory Pugh, his new wife, plays soccer in Chicago. Lucky Dansby didn’t marry Messi. He’d have to play for Argentina, which, I believe, is where Yasiel Puig is playing now. Imagine being so whipped you have to play for whoever your wife roots for. I’d be playing for the “Gilmore Girls reunion.” So, Swanson immediately makes the Cubs much better. Competitive? Well, maybe a Wild Card, then who knows, Their pitching staff’s got more question marks than the Riddler’s leotards, so, yeah, I don’t think the Cubs are competitive, but weirder things have happened. Their middle infield does look solid, though. I am Hoerny for Hoerner and have always loved me some Swanson. Last year, Wrigley played poorly for home runs, but, as mentioned previously, I think that was a flukey thing vs. a new thing. Though, the dead ball and the humidor might’ve finally overcome the Windy City to make it more like Fly Out City. Will need more than one year to determine that. Last year, Swanson did what he’s always done with just a little more luck on BABIP, and flashed more speed. His counting stats might take a little hit in a weaker lineup (though, now the Cubs have Cody Bellinger five exclamation marks). His power should remain around 25-28, steals around 12-15, and average around .260. Assuming he doesn’t get his new marriage annulled and start dating Marge Schott Jr. and throw every game vs. the Reds. For 2023, I’ll give Dansby Swanson projections of 78/27/84/.262/14 in 591 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yankees are absolutely stacked:

  1. Gerrit Cole
  2. Carlos Rodon
  3. Luis Severino
  4. Nestor Cortes
  5. Frankie Montas

Which makes it so weird that they’re going to Wandy Peralta with the ALCS on the line. Wait, ever since I bought this DeLorean off eBay I have no idea what time I’m in. Is this October of 2023? *looks down* Oh, I’m wearing a loincloth. I know when I am now. It must be in the 70’s in the San Fernando Valley. Carlos Rodon became a jewel in my crown of lovelies this past season. I didn’t want him, but Donkey Teeth insisted we draft him in our Main Event, and I fell in love. That Donkey Teeth also had us draft Maikel Franco is another thing entirely. He’s truly special when he’s healthy. Uh, Rodon, not Maikel or Donkey. Last year, his 12 K/9, 2.6 BB/9, 2.91 xFIP (!) tells pretty much the whole story. His HR/9 was .6, and that might go up, as he does give up a decent number of fly balls. But it is a ton of weak contact, 290-foot outs. Wait, you can get 290-foot home runs in Yankee Stadium. He’s going to be great in the AL East, in Yankee Stadium, everywhere. As long as he’s healthy. If healthy, yes. That’s the riddle that we don’t know, like why did E.T. want to phone home? You can’t call other planets. E.T. was dumb if you ask me. For 2023, I’ll give Carlos Rodon projections of 16-4/3.03/1.05/224 in 169 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to announce that I’ve begun to roll out my 2023 fantasy baseball rankings on our Patreon. It’s an early Hanukkah miracle! Or late Hanukah miracle, depending on when Hanukkah is this year. The Jews should really decide on one day to start Hanukah each year, and stick with it. It’s better for branding. Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Just spent more time than I care to admit (47 seconds) thinking about if this is the first San Francisco Giants player I’ve ever called a sleeper. Congratulations, Thairo Estrada, you’re the first Giants hitter I’ve liked since Barry Bonds! What does Thairo Estrada win? *digs through pockets* How does a losing Powerball ticket sound? No? A stamp card for TCBY? I’m not sure if TCBY is still in business, but if they are, you only need seven more yogurts for a free one. Not interested? Geez, picky, picky. By the way, I kinda like J.D. Davis too at his current ADP, but not enough to write a whole post. How did Thairo Estrada breakthrough like Jim Morrison on mescaline? Last year his stats were: 14/21/.260 in 488 ABs and he’s currently being drafted around 185th overall, so that’s a sleeper, said like The Simpsons’ Jasper would say, “That’s a paddlin’.” This is going to be one of those sleepers, where I just try to prove that a 15/20 hitter wasn’t a fluke last year, because Thairo Estrada was a top 100 overall guy on the Player Rater last year, so we just need a repeat performance. By the by, I’m finding a lot of success in the 90th to 95th overall on the Player Rater from last year. Eyeing Taylor Ward, Rowdy Tellez, and Thairo in that five-player range. Also, in there is Ian Happ, who I kinda like, but that’s for another day. So, what can we expect from Thairo Estrada for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Thairo Estrada sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve begun to roll out my 2023 fantasy baseball rankings on our Patreon. It’s an early Hanukkah miracle! Or late Hanukah miracle, depending on when Hanukkah is this year. The Jews should really decide on one day to start Hanukah each year, and stick with it. It’s better for branding. Anyway II, the Thairo Estrada sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finally, a trade! No team but the A’s could make Sean Murphy into the impetus for a three-team trade with eight players involved. Sean Murphy to the A’s; Oakland gets Kyle Muller, Esteury Ruiz, Freddy Tarnok, Royber Salinas and Manny Pina; Milwaukee gets William Contreras, Justin Yeager and Joel Payamps. Braves turning William Contreras into Sean Murphy, presumably at DH and catcher, is such a why bother for the Braves that I wonder if Alex Anthopoulos just had to trade William Contreras because he wouldn’t agree to a 17-year, $12 million deal. “You won’t agree to being a Braves player for life for $75,000 a year? Then, I’m sorry, you have to go.” We know Billy Beane, Anthopoulos and the Brewers’ GM, whoever that is, don’t play fantasy baseball, because if they did, they’d know to never pick their catcher scab. Ron Popeil, food appliance guru and master fantasy baseballer, once said, “Set it and forget it.” Seriously, I’m trying to figure out the difference between Murphy and Contreras and I am at a literal loss. In Oakland, the will is gone; and in Atlanta the William. Sean Murphy was the 6th best catcher on the Player Rater last year, and, while it looks like he overperformed on average, there is something to a team as bad as the Vegas A’s just rolling a guy like Murphy out there for 150-ish games. It’s Murphy’s Law. In a better lineup, he might lose a few at-bats, but, as said above, he has the DH too. For 2023, I’ll give Sean Murphy projections of 66/20/73/.244/1 in 502 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As mentioned many times in the past, there’s different types of fantasy baseball sleepers. They can’t all be, “Who the H-E-double hockey sticks are you talking about?” Some guys are going to be no dur sleepers. Jake McCarthy is interesting because I think he might be both, depending on what kind of league you’re in. I could see him being a “What the H-E-double hockey sticks” in some leagues with people who are immersed in fantasy baseball all year long. There’s others though, who don’t follow fantasy baseball year-round. and these people are the real freaks. They have lives six months of the year when there’s no baseball? That sounds nuts, to be honest. For those absolute freaks, they might not realize how good Jake McCarthy was last year, and could let him slip in drafts. The slightly hilarious thing is the big box sites like ESPN are in this group, as they also cater to the freaks. I have no idea at this point, as I write this in October, and you read it in December, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jake McCarthy ranked around 275 overall at ESPN, if at all. He’s the kind of guy that is just completely overlooked. Therefore, ergo, vis-a-vie, if you’re seeing Jake McCarthy 2023 fantasy baseball sleeper and thinking, “No dur.” You’re right, he should be no dur, but he won’t be no dur for all people. If you’re thinking, “Okay, if you’re writing this for freaks, and I’m reading it, does it make me a freak?” No, you’re reading this in December. You’re no freak. Unless you read this in March. Then you be a freak. So, what can we expect from Jake McCarthy for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Taylor Ward as a fantasy baseball sleeper feels like one of those:  By March, everyone is going to write at least one sleeper post for Taylor Ward and some people will write two so he will be a sleeper in name only. That’s fine, they can’t all be “Drafted around 300th overall” sleepers. I’ve been wrong about things like this before. Not wrong on whether a guy will be good or not, I’m never wrong about that. Shut up about Adalberto Mondesi! Literally no one is asking you for a list of names I was wrong about. Yes, I thought Jonathan India was a star, and it turned out I was just reading a Star of India takeout menu. Can you please stop listing all of my many mistakes now? Thanks. I mean, I’ve been wrong in the past about whether a player will be hyped as a sleeper, then they’re not. It’s harder to understand what others are thinking than what players will do. All of the stats, that I will get to in a second, show Taylor Ward will be undervalued, but will everyone else see that? My guess is yes, but who knows? Thought it was obvious to not draft starters in the first 15 picks overall, and I’ve been wrong about people catching on with that for about a decade. Last year, Taylor Ward went 73/23/65/.281/5 in 495 ABs. That’s *holds hand over mouth while yawning*, right? No? Ah, you’re one step ahead of me, let me catch up. So, what can we expect from Taylor Ward for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aaron Judge grew up in San Francisco. He told associates of mine at the Winter Meetings that he can still remember which Walgreen’s he was in when he witnessed his first shoplifting. He wistfully remembered, “I was by the breath mints, and this man carried out six boxes of Wheat Thins.” Fond memories for Judge that are going to hard to replicate when he signs a 1-year deal with the Giants in ten years. As we all assumed, Aaron Judge re-signed with the Yankees through his age-39 season. Luckily, Razzball has a time machine at its disposal, and I went forward nine years to take a quick pic of Aaron Judge when he’s in that final year. Here it is:

So, Aaron Judge on the Yankees is more of the same. *claps hands, all done* No? Okay. Not sure how many people heard this, but it was reported the other day that MLB used three different baseballs last year. One of those balls was more batter-friendly. It was found only at the All-Star Game, Home Run Derby, postseason and Yankees games. This sounds like a joke, but the jokes ended with the guy walking out with Wheat Thins. I’m being serious now. Yo, jai alai called, it wants its “this sport is a joke” moniker back. MLB embraces gambling and institutes cheating by way of different balls. It truly is incredible.

Last year, Aaron Judge went 62/16/.311, guys and five girl readers, and that is the best line of all-time. 40/40 is nice; 50/10 is butter; 60/5 is nomnomnom, get in my belly; 62/12? I mean, c’mon. Seriously, c’mon. C’mon, c’mon! C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! It’s ludicrous. It’s mind boggling. Thesaurus, give me another synonym! It’s BREATHTAKING!!! He always had power — he’s a freakin’ giant, of course he has power! — but he’s never hit .300 or stole more than six bags in a season before. Also, being a certified giant (and not a Giant, as was rumored), he’s prone to injuries. That year of 62/12 wasn’t just a career year, it was the career year of career years. How’sever, if he goes 40/10/.280, it’s still very doable and a great. For 2023, I’ll give Aaron Judge projections of 109/41/102/.283/10 in 548 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Imagine a very good boy sitting at attention, let’s call that boy, Treat Urner. Treat Urner is looking at you with those doe-eyes giving you all kinds of oxytocin. Your brain is firing off like July 4th over the Hudson. My God it feels good! Stare at me Treat Urner and give me more and more oxytocin! Wag your tail and give me the love! In a baby voice, you lean in, “What does Treat Urner want? Does Treat Urner want a treat? Does he? Okay, to earn one of those treats you need to steal 30 bags, hit 25 homers and hit .300. Can the good boy do that? He can? Aw, what a good Treat Urner this Treat Urner is! Here…” Then I throw the treat into the yard, it lands in the bushes and we spend the next twenty minutes trying to figure out where that stupid treat landed while he licks my ears. Treat Urner was going to be great wherever he went. Landing in Philly gets Kyle Schwarber out of the leadoff slot. Right…RIGHT?! Please someone say I’m right. I don’t want to go to Amoeba Records and scratch Rob Thomas’s name off every CD as an act of deviance vs. the Phils’ manager. By the by, Trea Turner getting 11 years is quite funny.

But, of course, this is for this year, and there’s no one better, when consistency is factored in. Just an absolute lock for great counting stats. Now in Philly, it should help maintain the power, that isn’t top-flight, but good enough for a guy with his speed. Hopefully, he doesn’t pay too close attention to all the other Phils’ fly ball tendencies. “So, you’re saying I should have a Launch Angle of 26? Okay!” That’s Trea Turner at the batting cage with Rhys Hoskins and The Schwammer. No, stay away, Treat Urner! Good boy! For 2023, I’ll give Trea Turner projections of 107/22/101/.293/30 in 606 ABs. That means Treastykakes are the best food in Philly since Chase steaks! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“You can spend any amount of money, but it has to be in the months of November and December, then from the months of April thru October you have to stink.”

Rangers’ GM, the 8-foot tall Chris Young shakes his head, lowering the last will and testament of the Rangers’ crazy aunt Mary, who just passed. Finally, Young says, “This is more convoluted than Brewster’s Millions.”

Don’t fully understand it, but the Rangers print money in December of every year, then set it on fire all summer long. It’s not clear how, why or any other question you have. All I know is the Rangers have made this their MO. It truly is impressive if you stop to think about it. I’m glad they’re spending money, but real questions: Where is all this money coming from and are they ever going to win anything? So, the latest spend was on Jacob deGrom, giving him $222 million. Good for him. As I said at one point last year, when he’s healthy, he’s one of the best pitchers in the game. Speaking of which, as frequent contributor, Coolwhip, reminded me: What will deGrom’s health be like without the Mets’ trainers? 220 IP incoming! I kid, I think. No, I don’t think deGrom will suddenly be the model of good health. He has a better chance of being a cover model on Men’s Health next to a topless Bartolo Colon. Speaking of the Mets:

So, Jacob deGrom goes to a great park, but he’s stadium-proof. He’s in a new league, but he’s league-proof. He’s the best pitcher in the game, who can’t get past 92 IP since 2021. He could be one of the biggest lottery tickets in fantasy baseball drafts, but, unless he fell, I won’t be trying to cash it. His 14.3 K/9, 1.1 BB/9, and 1.54 xFIP last year are so ridiculous. In 64 IP or 15 IP, it doesn’t matter. No one is better, it’s just “no one is better” for how many innings? That’s the question. For 2023, I’ll give Jacob deGrom projections of 10-2/2.26/0.83/167 in 107 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last year, Vaughn Grissom went 19/32/.320-ish. That’s “ish” because I didn’t feel like doing the math for batting average. Plus, it’s goofy and those aren’t really his stats. Well, they are, kinda. That’s his stats if you combine High-A, Double-A and MLB numbers. Slightly misleading, but *thinking* Is it misleading? Okay, the major leagues aren’t High-A. I get that, but, and here’s when I say anything very controversial: For hitters, are they that different, when a guy is only 21 years old? If a guy is 28 years old in High-A, then his stats mean nothing. But if a guy is 21 years old, then what’s the difference where he’s playing if he can hit in the majors? Once a guy shows he can hit in the majors, then it validates everything that came before, when he’s young. I keep doing that caveat, because it is very important. A guy who is 30 years old hitting well in the minors may or may not transfer to the majors *cough* Joey Meneses *cough*. A guy, who is 21 tearing the ball up in the minors, is just good no matter where he’s going to play. You see it in all the future stars. It’s not the only path. A guy can struggle, then find something that clicks. But when it clicks that early anywhere in pro ball, he’s has got a high ceiling. That the Braves don’t seem to want to bring back Dansby Swanson implies they know it too. I’m only surprised they haven’t yet locked up Vaughn Grissom in a 12-year, 19-million dollar type deal. So, what can we expect from Vaughn Grissom for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?