So many things went through my mind for the Joey Lucchesi sleeper. For the first time in a long time, I actually contemplated not writing this post, because I didn’t want to tip off other sites, i.e., competitors. The last time I felt that urge it was 2016 and Delino DeShields was still a Jr., and we were pen pals who shared numerous correspondences. In the end, I realized that I need to be true to you, Dear Reader, and your prematurely balding head and theory about how sweatpants are formal attire. I also, for longer than I care to admit, searched for talk about how Lucchesi of the Bucatini Crime Family was recovering from shoulder, elbow or arm injuries of any sort. He’s not, but I assumed I must be overlooking something and that’s why he’s being drafted so late. He threw 139 IP in 2017, and 136 2/3 IP last year, so there was no overuse of his arm. There’s no injury. There’s no news about the Padres moving in their fences 175 feet. What am I missing? I have to missing something. There’s no way Joey Lucchesi is healthy, not overworked, has the numbers he has and is being drafted as low as he has been, right? Am I a part of a Black Mirror episode that I don’t know about and Joey Lucchesi is Italian for “technology will help you at first then end being your demise?” No? Then what gives? Nothing? Wow, then, without further ado…Anyway, what can we expect from Joey Lucchesi for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I started my research for Tyler Glasnow, I wanted to ease into it like your jeans from high school. You don’t jump in. First, you let out the waist twelve inches. So, I thought a nice way to let out the inseam on Glasnow would be looking up the Pirates’ pitching coach, Ray Searage. I Googled “Ray Searage genius” because I wanted a good laugh. Don’t judge me, while I judge Ray Searage. First, I needed to tell Google ‘genius’ had to be included, then I sorted by results from prior to 2018 vs. this year. 4,290 results vs. 5, and four of those five were people forgetting the sport and spelling their hockey team, the Pittsburgh Pengenius. Most of the results morphed like this: How great Searage was with Ivan Nova and Liriano and Edinson Volquez vs. a lot of cursing for what the hell did Searage do to pull on the reins of Gerrit Cole and Tyler Glasnow. Of course, I don’t know how much Searage played into giving the okay for Glasnow to be traded, but trading a guy who throws 97 MPH, has a K/9 of 11 and is only 25 years old, should be against the law. Maybe Ray Searage is the pitcher whisperer, but the pitchers need to be over the age of 30, and Glasnow just had too much promise. (Being so unfair to Searage right now!) Maybe there’s only room for one genius in Pittsburgh, and it’s on the ice and it’s a dyslexic Pengenius. (By the way, whoever decided to make a word for people who struggle to spell as complicated as dyslexic is a real bastard.) So, what can we expect from Tyler Glasnow for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s a post we didn’t think we’d be reading last year at this time, huh? What’s next, a Robbie Ray sleeper post? Actually… Okay, will save that for another day. Last year, was a lost year for Carlos Martinez. He dealt with a myriad of injuries. By the way, Myriad is a great name for a cult. Just throwing it out there in case any readers fancy themselves the next Bo and/or Peep of Heaven’s Gate. Or Myriad could be a 60-year-old Jewish woman. “Myriad, you know I can’t have lactose!” Any hoo! Carlos Martinez’s injuries began as oblique than progressed to straight bleak with shoulder issues. At one point, he was hit by a screamin’ meemie comebacker off his chest that sent him for x-rays. Carlos Martinez was the refrigerator and injuries were the magnets. By the by, if you want to use Screamin’ Meemie as your cult name, I’m not hating on that either. So, the big question is will Carlos Martinez be able to bounce back from his dreadful year and return to ace status. So, what can we expect from Carlos Martinez for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
It is true that I’ve called two different Orioles sleepers. We know I haven’t completely lost my mind because they’re not pitchers. Is Ubaldo still pitching for them? No, okay, who cares. Finding value on discarded teams is no exact science, unless you have a BS from the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston. Why I tend to like late-round gambles from garbage teams is they have nothing to play for. If you’re not sure what I mean, check out how many games Freddy Galvis has played in the last few years. If collecting garbage at-bats was an art, Galvis would be in the MOMA with a statue of David made out of reclaimed coat hangers. My hope is Cedric Mullins can do a series of water lilies with secondhand Hypercolor t-shirts from Goodwill — call it Goodwillies. Anyway, what can we expect from Cedric Mullins for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh! Yeah! Of course! Willy Adames! That old chestnut from Battlestar Galactica with his pock-marked face and–FRACK! Captain Adames, they’re all Cylons! *cough* Nerd! *cough* Looking through middle infidel sleepers, I almost made this post about Ronny Rodriguez. Wait…WHO? Ronny Rodriguez, y’all! I mean, no dur, right? Then, I almost made this post about Niko Goodrum. Fun fact! If you spray that guy with pineapple juice, you have Niko Gooddaiquiris. Handsomely turns to the mirror, “You and I both deserve the very best, that’s why I put boba in my daiquiris.” *casts fishing pole out* Okay, let’s reel this one back in. I realized quickly I was only saying Niko Goodrum was a sleeper, because I wanted to be able to draft him while swirling an imaginary sifter glass. Okay, hashtag be best, so I went back to the well, and I found Willy Adames and Baby Jessica. Hearing in my head, leave the baby, take the Willy, I found myself here with Adames. Then, as I dug through this tub of butter and magic, I started to wonder how Willy Adames wasn’t more obvious, then I realized if he wasn’t obvious to me, he may not be to other people. Frank Voila! Anyway, what can we expect from Willy Adames for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Dancer! On Prancer! On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in. Welcome, reader! Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire. You look festive. I love that Rudolph tongue ring. That’s the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it’s all about commercialism. That’s unless you light the Munenori Kawasaki. The 2019 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away. Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Matt Davidson, the hitter vs. Matt Davidson, the pitcher. Two can play this game, Shohei! In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2019 fantasy baseball season. I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2019 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m a giver, snitches! Happy Holidays! I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of five games or more started outside of their primary position. Not four games at a position, not three, definitely not two. Five games started. If they played eight games somewhere but only started one, they are not listed. 5, the Road Runner of numbers. So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline). Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position. Games started are in parenthesis. This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters. Is G or H first? Who knows, and, better yet, who cares! Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking. Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2019 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The trade of Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Alex Wood to the Reds means one thing, the Dodgers are signing Manny Machado or Bryce Harper. I’m kidding, in the non-funny way. Maybe it means that, but I kinda hope it doesn’t, so Muncy, Pederson and others have room to play. Not sure why the Dodgers rehired Dave Roberts, but I’m impressed the Dodgers realized that Dave Roberts had zero capacity for managing a team. “What’s he doing?” “I don’t know.” That’s two Dodgers execs watching Dave Roberts juggle three VHS copies of the movie Platoon. “I don’t think he understands what we meant when we asked him to juggle platoons.” “Yeah.” “So, we should trade Puig?” “Maybe trade like five guys.” “Okay.” So, Puig goes back to the Reds, but they’re no longer an island nation in the Caribbean. Now, they’re in Ohio. In five years, people will be like, “I forgot Puig played for the Reds for three months.” Yes, I think he’ll likely be traded in July. Either way, he will get everyday at-bats and should get a nice boost in fantasy value. The Reds were surprising solid last year on offense, and I see no reason why that would end. For 2019, I’ll give Yasiel Puig projections 73/27/83/.273/11 in 502 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some guys who I label sleepers are about where they’re being drafted vs. where they should be drafted. With Jonathan Villar, I just want to write about him. I don’t really care where he’s being drafted. I’m pretty sure he’s being drafted too low. He definitely is compared to where I think he can perform. Even more so, if you consider where a guy like Adalberto Mondesi is being drafted. I know some of you are turning your nose up at anyone on the Orioles. I kapeesh that, but what if I told you a team had to start a guy 155 games because they’re next best option is Breyvic Valera. Would you say, “Crap, I didn’t know they had Breyvic Valera” or would you say, “You just made up the name Breyvic Valera?” Or would you say, “Breyvic Valera is the mayor of my town in the Ukraine.” How about that Steve Wilkerson, huh? He’s gonna steal time from Villar? No, Steve Wilkerson is not the guy in your office who makes uncomfortably long eye contact with you. He’s some schmohawk the Orioles have on their depth chart. The Orioles’ depth chart is a lot like an eye chart. Everyone who looks at it squints. Villar also has the ability to play all around the field if the Orioles have the terrible misfortune to lose Chris Davis, Renato Nunez or any other schmohawk currently penciled into the lineup. If Villar can stay healthy, he might see 600 ABs. Just thinking of that made my eyes spin rapidly and land on cherries. Anyway, what can we expect from Jonathan Villar for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dave Roberts just shuddered when he read the title. “Listen, Max Muncy was just great, but you don’t want great out there, you want…” Then Dave Roberts ran through a stop sign and took home without a throw, but, that was because he was in his car and no one tries to throw you out when you’re heading to your home in a car. Dave Roberts then kicked over a pile of leaves, and, when he was obstructed from our view, he rubbed dirt on his jersey, then he smelled his armpits and said, “Hustle,” like he was Molly Shannon saying, “Superstar.” As of right now, Max Muncy is penciled in as a starter, but where? 1st base? 2nd base? 3rd base? Outfield? Who’s on 1st? What’s on 2nd? I don’t know! 3rd base? He played them all last year, so I’m assuming Dave Roberts can have the decency to find 400 ABs for his best hitter last year. For as late as I’ve been seeing him drafted (as late as 150 overall), if he gets 400 ABs, Muncy is going to blow away anyone drafted around him. If Roberts has a brain fart, and poofs out something that makes sense, Muncy could sneak into 450+ ABs, and shock the world for the 2nd time in two seasons. Anyway, what can you expect from Max Muncy for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I considered making this post: Tyler Austin and Jake Cave, 2019 Fantasy Baseball SleeperS! Though, I likely wouldn’t have capped the S. I did that for you, Dear Reader. I didn’t make this a duo sleeper post, because I think I have OCD and I like to keep shizz tidy and stylized as all previous sleepers. That doesn’t mean if Jake Cave breaks out I won’t continue to go back to this post, because I’m equally excited about both Tyler Austin and Jake Cave. Or as Google suggests, Jake Man Cave. Yes, he is a man, but I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing. So, why not just do a separate post for Jake Cave? Because no one cares about him. I tweeted at Jake Cave and he seems to barely care:
— Jake Cave (@JakeCave8) December 2, 2018
He responds with a GIF? Really? That doesn’t scream confidence to me. What, you can’t reply fully to a random Twitter person who you don’t know who is obviously only interested in you as a fantasy baseball entity who wants to keep calling you Jack Cave? Anyone that apathetic worries me. Though, you can’t spell apathetic without Pac. So…hmm. Even with his inability to hit lefties (.194 vs. lefties), he had the 22nd highest barrels per at-bat, the same as Javier Baez, and Cave’s average home run distance was 419 feet, which was 5th in the majors for that many plate appearances. If this were about Jake Cave, and not Tyler Austin, I’d tell you Cave was the 2nd lowest for soft contact (8.6%), making better contact overall than Joey Votto, Voit, Matt Carpenter, Freeman, Betts, Just Dong and, well, every other player in the majors except Eugenio Suarez. Unlike Tyler Austin, Cave looks like he has the starting job, and could be the one guy who no one drafts who ends up on 100% of fantasy teams by season’s end, cranking so many homers that everyone is going to be like, “What?” Pause. Eyes bulge. “WHAT?” If this were about Jake Cave and not Tyler Austin, I’d tell you my Jake Cave 2019 projections were 61/22/68/.259/4 in 476 ABs with a chance for more. However, this is not about Jake Cave. Anyway, what can we expect from Tyler Austin for 2019 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?