Jack Flaherty

Please see our player page for Jack Flaherty to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Thomas Howland

FanDuel: Kershaw Is Killing It

June 18, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball | Leave a comment

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Sometimes it’s better to stay away from a Dodgers Giants matchup.  One of the best rivalries in baseball can create uncertain outcomes at times.  Today is not one of those times.  The Dodgers are on an absolute tear.  They’re tied for the league lead with 48 wins.  And a big part of that is a resurgent Clayton Kershaw ($10,700).  Kershaw has a 2.78 ERA the last 30 days, a 2.25 ERA in June, and a 2.06 ERA against the Giants over the last three years.  That includes 90 Ks over 96 innings.  He’s also not walking many this year, with a 1.08 WHIP overall.  Kershaw is also $1,300 cheaper than today’s top dog Justin Verlander.  So use that dough for some of the no-brainer, big dollar guys in your lineup.  On to the rest of today’s picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Schwinnhei Schwinntani

June 14, 2019 | Uncategorized | 307 Comments

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As they say in Anaheim, “If you can’t get to see the Cherry Blossoms in Japan, you should get to see the Gin Blossoms in concert at the Hard Rock or Shohei Ohtani.”  One Anaheim-born woman, Gina, was so excited about Ohtani that she got a tattoo of the Japanese symbol for strength, that she later found out was a tattoo of Calvin pissing on a Grateful Dead logo. Gina did it in honor of Ohtani, so it’s still close to her heart, though mostly because it’s covering a third nipple.  Yesterday, Ohtani became the first Japanese born player to hit for the cycle, going 4-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 8th homer.  The closest previous Asian cycle was Kurt Suzuki.  When Ohtani becomes Hot-tani, there’s few players that can match him for sheer excitement, though Ian Kinsler wears sheer pantyhose under his uni, if that counts.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Butters

FanDuel: Let’s Get Rowdy!

June 13, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball | Leave a comment

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If you’re looking to save some cash to use elsewhere and like to be bold, turn your attention to Rowdy Tellez (1B: $2,300). He doesn’t hit the ball often, but when he does it goes a long way. To wit, he has only 42 hits in 185 ABs on the season but 10 of them have left the yard. Boom goes the dynamite. Most importantly, he just looks like a slugger, which is to say…thicc. The price is right so take a gamble. You either bet big or you go home, you gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth

Top 100 Starting Pitchers, Week 8: Handle Ruff Wood with Care

May 20, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 82 Comments

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Not your Grandfathers Top 100 Starting Pitchers…

Grandpa-Donk handled a lot of wood back in his day, if you know what I’m saying. Not that kind of wood! Alright, maybe that kind of wood, it was the 60’s and from what I understand the donkey world was pretty open-minded back then. But the way G-Donk tells it, his hobby of woodworking accounted for the majority of his wood handling back in the day. The old donk enjoyed taking very rough pieces of phallic shaped lumber and smoothing them out into much less rough pieces of phallic shaped lumber. Because it was such intensive and sweaty work, he typically handled the wood shirtless with help from his completely platonic friend Jimmy.

I always think of these stories of my gramps and his very heterosexual buddy handling that rough wood together when I hear the name of my lede for this week’s top 100: Brandon Woodruff. Brandon had a rough start to his 2019 campaign himself, but has begun to mold his season into a masterpiece that would make even Grandpa-Donk and sweaty Jimmy proud. After a seemingly unlucky April, Woodruff has been silky smooth since the calendar turned to May, sporting a 1.55 ERA and a 0.92 WHIP with 29 strikeouts across 25 innings. Impressively, 11 of those innings came in his home hitter haven Miller Park against the Mets and Nationals, while the other 14 innings were tossed in scary road starts against potent Philadelphia and Atlanta squads! I don’t think he’s a sub 2.00 ERA pitcher, but this dude is smoothing out penis-shaped timber with the best of them at the moment. Woodruff has thrust himself a full 30 spots higher in my rankings this week, all the way up to #42.

Here are a few other guys who have been smoothing and thrusting lately…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Robbie Looks So Sexy He Should Be Called X-Ray

May 9, 2019 | Uncategorized | 719 Comments

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Doe, a deer, a female deer that sounds like Chaz Roe.  Ray, a drop of eleven Rays!  Me, a name I call myself while looking in the mirror to check on my hair–Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.  I was just singing a little song I call, “Julie Andrews is One Hot Cougar.”  Yesterday, Robbie Ray did the impossible.  No, not strike out 11 Rays hitters.  I mean, yes, he did that.  But that’s not what I found impossible.  I find it impossible to like him, and yesterday he made me smile a little.  Sure, this ‘impossible task’ is a bit subjective, but get out of your own head, it’s all subjective!  Life’s subjective!  Wow, I just became an angry philosopher.  Call me Socrankies.  Robbie Ray’s line yesterday 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks is almost exactly him to a T.  He is a 4.7 BB/9 guy and that was his BB/9 yesterday in under six innings.  He can’t go deep because of the walks, and his Ks are gorge, but also limit his IP.  I don’t hate him as much as it might seem.  I don’t own him, but I can understand the allure.  I “allurve” Ks.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

Michael Chavis Suave As F

May 4, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball | 47 Comments

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Michael Chavis continued to do nothing but hit Friday night going 2-for-4 with his fourth home run, a 459 foot 2-run shot (woh) off Reynaldo Lopez. Someone put a distress beacon on that ball so maybe Captain Marvel can find it in space!? Chavis is now slashing a real pretty .310/.442/.619 with four homers and two steals in just 42 at bats (13 games). Extrapolate that! If he started the season with the team he’d be the their home leader! I’m trying to figure out why he’s not owned in more leagues. Is it because he doesn’t have a sexy name like Skye Bolt or Carter Kieboom. Or maybe we haven’t done our due diligence as irritating members of Red Sox Nation to over hype this guy until you’re sick of hearing about him. Well, get ready to hear me gush about my newest BoSox heart throb because Chavis has done everything since arriving with Boston including five multi-hit games in his past 10. He’s famous around the clubhouse for the studious notes he takes after every at bat. Whaddaya think you’re some kinda smaht guy Hahvad boy? How do you like dem apples! Err, ok, wrong school but the reference still works. Did I mention the kid bats in the middle of a lineup that features Xander, JD and Mookie. Those are very good players we all know and love on a first name basis. Any hesitation most likely stems from the inevitable return of Eduardo Nunez and Dustin Pedroia (L out L) stealing his playing time, but I trust Alex Cora to play the young guys when the time comes. He was a BUY and needs to be owned wherever he’s available, Dustin and Eduardo don’t hit moon shots like that, folks. It’s time to join the Michael Chavis fan club.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

A Polanco Walks Into A Lineup…

April 23, 2019 | Uncategorized | 503 Comments

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*wavy lines indicating a dream sequence*  It’s the winter of 2019.  And I’m wearing pants.  Okay, that’s not realistic, but it’s a dream sequence, so I’m going to go with it!  Crap, I have to do my rankings.  Quick, rank Gregory Polanco in the top 40 outfielders overall, because you like how he hit more fly balls last year than previous years and think 23 homers is repeatable with maybe more.  Also, he’s got some 10-15 steal-speed!  But, since this is a very realistic dream other than the whole pants thing, someone, who you can’t remember now, told you Polanco won’t be back until June.  Better check the news reports, even though that’s rather boring for a dream sequence.  Yup, Polanco’s not due back until June.  Frantically, by any man’s measure but calmly by yours, move Polanco all the way down so you’ll never draft him.  Now fall into a kiddie pool so you wake to think you had a wet dream.  *wavy lines*  Whoa, that dream was crazy in its mundaneness!   So, here we are on April 23rd and Grey doesn’t freakin’ own Polanco because reports in March were saying he wouldn’t be back until a much later date.  *bites stress doll’s head off*  I’m good.  Thanks.  Yes, I would own Polanco in every league; he can be a top 40 outfielder.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 2 runs, which was better than Jesus Aguilar’s entire season.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

James Paxton Catches Latest Leg Of Boston “Slumpbustah” Tour

April 17, 2019 | Uncategorized | 781 Comments

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“After Chris Davis raved about it, I had to check it out.” said James Paxton, as he sipped maple syrup.  He continued, “It was my favorite show since the last time I saw Rush.”  The Canadian then put on moose antlers, an orange vest and grabbed his shotgun.  Before he exited the press conference, he smiled, adding, “Eh.”  So, James Paxton busted that slumped like Chris Davis before him and like every team that faces the Sawx.  Crazy when you have Mookie Betts hitting near-.200 and Benintendi out of the lineup, what a massive hole the Red Sox become, or a Mass-hole for short.  Yesterday, James Paxton went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.91, putting to doubt some concerns that he would be eaten alive by the New York lights.  Paxton laughed, “It’s just like downtown Saskatchewan.”  All the New Yorkers grinned, Paxton was already growing a tough, sarcastic sense of humor indicative of New York, when Paxton added, “Seriously, eh, there’s nothing finer than Regina.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

You Must Know Joe Musgrove is a Must Own

April 6, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball | 51 Comments

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After volunteering to have his first start of the season skipped last week (what a stand up guy!), Joe Musgrove opened his season with a seven inning gem, cruising through the Cinncinati Red Legs line up allowing just three hits and a walk and striking out eight for his first win of the year. Joe has always been a master with his control (just a 5% walk-rate in 2018 and he threw 18 first pitch strikes Friday night) but it’s them tasty strikeouts that make me go crazier than a shadow person in a Jordan Peele movie. The replicants have risen, and they’re here to steal all our best waiver wire acquisitions right before we’re about to click add. That’s why you have to grab Joe Musgrove while he’s still available in about 40% of fantasy leagues. Shadow Lupita Nyong’o would tell you Musgrove put up some of his best numbers down the stretch last year (August and September), when he started mixing in his off speed pitches more his strikeout rate increased as a result. She’s saying if he carries that mindset into this season he’s got all the tools to break out in a big way in 2019 and if Friday’s night performance was any indication (induced 17 swinging strikes) we’re about to see Pittsburgh’s prize from the Gerrit Cole trade finally pay off. Buy Joe Everything Musgrove!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth

Au Shizz Strikes Gold Three Times

March 30, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball | 66 Comments

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Grey Albright threw two innings on opening day. Sweat, and other mysterious bodily fluids, dripped from Grey’s brow; he was gassed. Albright didn’t wait for Rudy to call to the pen, Grey signaled himself for the lefty, Donkey Teeth, to enter the fold. Fantasy Master Lothario is still knocking some of the spring rust off, just like Chis Sale, so you’re stuck with Donkey Teeth telling you tales of Paul Goldschmidt’s monster 4-for-5 night with 3 homers & 5 RBIs in only the second game of his Cardinals career. Truth be told, Dan Pants will be back to take over this column next Friday, since Friday is slinging night for Grey, Cougs, and Donkey Teeth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?