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Please see our player page for Jack Flaherty to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

“Count’s 2-1, and Jack Flaherty is leaning in…and, would you look at that, that is interesting…Willson Contreras is calling for an 88 MPH fastball down the middle.” I kid! Jack Flaherty (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 5.24) looked great! After the first inning. Was a bit wonky at the start. At one point, he went from a 75 MPH curve to a 95 MPH elevated fastball to a 84.5 MPH slider to a 79.5 MPH knuckle curve on four straight batters, all resulting in strikeouts. All he needed for motivation was to prove his own catcher sucked. “But how,” Jack Flaherty wondered in his most sincere of voices, “Could a pitcher look good while making his catcher look bad?” Flaherty still desperately needs command from pitch 1 to 100 while going 95 on the fastball, but last night was a step in the right direction. Speaking of directions, the Cards all sucked together, and now they’re all fantastic together. The Cards’ way, I suppose. Nolan Arenado (2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 4th homer in four games) is going off, and I had a reason to Sell Low written down that was so eloquent. It’s right over by this open window–NOOOO!!! Torenado! Also, in this game, Andrew Knizner (1-for-1, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer, and 2nd in as many games. This homer was vs. a position player, but there ain’t no asterisks in my fantasy league. Next, Tommy Edman (4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 6th homer, as he heard the footsteps of people going to waivers to drop him. Finally, Nolan Gorman (3-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 10th homer, as the house of Cards begins to rise again. Hopefully, Oli Marmol isn’t inspired to give one of his motivational speeches again like, “Tyler O’Neill and Willson Contreras, you guys suck and can’t field your positions or run and I hate all of you.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan steps behind the three point line, head fakes Ehlo, who sails past him, tumbling to the half-court line. Jordan looks at the fallen Ehlo, “Was it that good of a head fake?” He sets himself, and goes up, up, up, — that’s three ups — and the ball is soaring, soaring, soaring — that’s three soarings — and SWISH! SWISH SWISH! That’s three swishes! Right into the…bleachers? Jordan Diaz shrugs at Ehlo. It’s a Shruggle! He gave him the Shruggle! The patented “Who knew I was this good?” and rounds the bases. Jordan Diaz has done the impossible! He’s made Grey talk about basketball — kinda! Yesterday, Diaz went (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) with three homers, his 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Jordan’s homer comes a day after MJ’s homer. Pippen ain’t easy, obviously. I’ve said previously Jordan Diaz is like a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis I-Need-A-Raise. That might be selling his power short, and his batting average high. At least for this year. He could sneak into a 15-17 homer season, but being in Oakland won’t help. His strikeouts are up, so the potential .280 average feels like a long shot. He could also just be finding himself like Jason Bourne or that guy on The Citadel, a blatant rip-off of Jason Bourne. At worst, a hot schmotato. At best, Jordan gives us more Flu Games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As you might’ve heard, Matt Mervis was called up, but, more incredibly, Eric Hosmer grounded into a double play while he was sitting on a bench. Those boos aren’t from fans for Eric Hosmer; they are boos from Eric Hosmer because he’s a ghost of his former self. This is funny in a “how stupid am I” way: So, I saw Christian Encarnacion-Strand posted himself on Instagram in a Reds uniform, then deleted it, so that means he’s coming, right? Of course! So, I dropped Matt Mervis for CES. Hey, if you can’t laugh at me, at least cry with me. Welp, I just gave you my Matt Mervis fantasy last week. Not much to add. I mean, there’s a lot to add, like Matt Mervis for one! Hopefully this waiver claim goes through dropping CES. I’m so stupid! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Wisdom is knowing when you don’t know. Wisdom is knowing when you do know. Wisdom is not spraying mace on your apple pie when it calls for mace, because that mace they’re talking about is the outside of nutmeg not the shizz that makes your eyes cry during a riot. Wisdom is not saying, “Nutmeg? I barely know her,” every time someone says nutmeg. Wisdom is Patrick Wisdom (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) hitting his 7th and 8th homer, and 4th and 5th homer in the last four games. Looking for a guy who could hit 40 homers (and prolly .210)? That’s true Wisdom…I think, is that what that says?” That’s me reading a fortune cookie’s fortune that is so long that it’s in such a tiny font it’s hard to read. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Friends and family and enemies who read this for the schadenfreude — we’re 10% into the 2023 MLB season! The Twins and the Rays are the best teams in baseball, and Kyle Freeland is your Cy Young frontrunner. Let’s Freeland GO! 

For longtime Razzball readers, you know the motto is still: Don’t Panic. Three games started. 10% of the season. How many of y’all quit one episode into a Netflix series? Maybe that’s why the icon for Squid Game is that robot girl. Or maybe Netflix thinks the prime demographic for the show are fans of cybernetic giantess fantasies. It’s probably both, to be fair. I, for one, would love to see The Terminator throw 120 MPH with his right arm while simultaneously blasting T-1000s with a gun in his left hand. But until we see Ahnold blasting his way to the mound, we’ve got our human pitchers and they’ve got their flaws. 10% of the season is still a drop of non-GMO motor oil in the sea.

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Yesterday, Jarred Kelenic (2-for-4) hit his 3rd homer in three games. Sonavabench x 3! Incredible! This is shaping up to be the worst sonavabenching in the history of sonavabenchings. Kelenic does something for the first time in three years and he’s on my bench! Why is this my life? This home run went 482 feet! That’s almost 147 meters! That’s the longest homer in Wrigley in the Statcast era. Could the breakout be happening? Is this the gorgeous we were once promised? Is this like watching the plastic bag in American Beauty? To me, it’s slightly comical that Jarred Kelenic is being labeled as “THE BREAKOUT IS HERE” while in the exact same game Cody Bellinger (2-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd home run and it’s like, “Meh, whatever. He can eat a D.” For those who are thinking, “Yeah, okay, you’re handsome and all, but Kelenic is hitting .351 and Cody Bellinger is hitting .238.” Kelenic is hitting .351 in 37 ABs. Difference between him and Cody is about four hits. He has a 44% Whiff rate on breaking pitches, and a 40% whiff rate on offspeed pitches. I want the Kelenic breakout as much as anyone (hopefully it can start next Monday, though), just trying to put an ounce of realism here in our fantasy. Like when Penelope Cruz is still bored in your dreams when you talk about your fantasy teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Perhaps it’s the constantly ticking pitch clock causing me anxiety and doubt but the Pittsburgh Pirates, yes those Pirates aka the 1979 World Champs have now won four in a row and that’s almost entirely due to free-agent-to-be Bryan Reynolds. Reynolds was 3-for-5 with his MLB leading fifth home run Friday night along with 6 […]

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Welcome folx and family! We awake into a brilliant new year of MLB baseball where theft is common, the per-hour wages have increased nearly 10%, and random young minds are usurping the services of the veterans. It’s complete anarchy! And who better to guide you through the mean streets of MLB than your one and only host, EverywhereBlair. I’ve been doing this pitcher thing at Razzball for over three years now. I understand that you have a choice in which anonymous internet face you go to for fantasy baseball advice, and I’m proud to be your anonymous face. Whether you’re joining for the first time or have been there since my first Jake Odorizzi sleeper that had two subtitles, I’m happy to have you along. 

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