Please see our player page for Jack Flaherty to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Have you ever been to Staten Island? Shame if not. It’s one of the best boroughs. Imagine if they built a pizzeria on top of a garbage dump. That’s Staten Island. On Staten Island, there’s a Mother Mary statue on every lawn, as far as the eye can see. On each Mother Mary statue, there’s garland and Christmas lights. All year around. If you were to turn on all those Mother Mary Christmas lights statues together, you could see them from the moon. The electric bill would be a fortune too, about as much to cover the gabagool expenses for the entire borough. Anyway, you take all those Mother Mary Christmas lights statues’ electrical power, and you still don’t have the power of Vinnie Pasquantino and the sheer electricity he brings. In 69 games — hey now! — of Triple-A, he had 18 HRs and a 12.2% strikeout rate. What is he, a power hitter that’s gonna hit .280? Mama mia, that’s Italian! His walk rate (12.5%) was over his strikeout rate! *pinching the cheeks of Vinnie Pasquantino’s player page* You’re so handsome! With Carlos Santana being traded to the Mariners — figured Carlos Santana would’ve went for a last hoorah in Philly with Rob Thomson, but oh well — Vinnie Pasquantino is worth a flyer for power in all leagues. It’s Vinnie Pasquantino PaiSZN! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been staring at the sun, wondering when the hydrogen will be exhausted and if I have enough time for my crypto 401K to return to profitability before we all end up in a black hole. Maybe that’ll put the current global milieu in perspective. Everything we own, all that we do, will turn to dust and ash as the sun enters a red giant phase and envelops the earth in its helium-fueled delirium. Maybe by then I’ll understand the appeal of BTS. Maybe by then pitchers will be predictable.

In the meantime, we keep rolling — you, me, the guy down the street. We roll week after week, thinking that we armchair astrologers of baseball have some sort of seance equipment that tells us — accurately — the future performance of a player. Yet every time I consult my crystal ball, all I hear is “variance.” Same as it was last year, same as it is this year. People forget, Alec Mills and his 62MPH curveball was a top 20 pitcher through half of 2020. Last year’s #1 SP, Max Scherzer, had a 3.00 ERA / near 4.00 FIP through the first month, followed by a lackluster July where he had a 5.32 ERA and FIP (take that regression!) and a Robbie Ray-esque 2.3 HR/9. Again, this is the #1SP of 2021 and future first ballot Hall of Famer Max Scherzer we’re talking about. Being a good fantasy pitcher isn’t about being good every day. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt didn’t become A-listers by being perfect in every single role. Amazon — the company — didn’t make a profit for nearly a decade after its founding. Same thing goes for pitches — being status quo is fine, but aces just tend to perform a bit better when they’re successful. Which brings me to the ol’ quote that should hang above your fantasy mantle: Being a good fantasy pitcher, is about being a better pitcher than other pitchers more often than not. If every pitcher in the league has a 4.50 ERA, the pitcher with a 4.49 ERA is the best in that category.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Sunday, Jose Urquidy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.36, which, honestly, is kinda whatever, until you hear this one. The Giancarlo homer (his 17th) in the 7th was the first hit by the Yankees in 16 1/3 IP, and nearly 41 hours. *letting out the longest woof known to man* On Saturday, Cristian Javier didn’t come up short (7 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, one walk, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.73). Well, he kinda did, since the Astros needed two more pitchers for the combined no-hitter in Yankee Stadium. After the game, there was an interview with Cristian Javier where he thanked God multiple times, so as we thought, God hates the Yankees. It’s a brutal way to lose a game, but it’s gotta be demoralizing to hear the Big Man Upstairs hates your guts. Listen, no-hit me, talk that trash, but thank God afterwards proving God hates me? That’s soul-crushing. Actually, I’m a bit scared to write about the no-hitter. The Clay Holmes’s official scorer might go in and change a ground ball to a hit just to feel something. Welp, we got ourselves a top 100 starts of the year page, and you can see for yourself where Javier landed with that gem. If you got sonavabenched by that one, well, God might not like you either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Takes off Hello Kitty headphones, places head on the train tracks. Faintly off in the distance, I can hear the very subtle call of exuberance. A very, small yay. That’s the sound of the one fantasy baseball owner who has Isaac Paredes in their lineup for his three-homer night (3-for-3, 4 RBIs, 6th, 7th, and 8th homer). I’ll be real with you, I was sweating this one for Mark Whiten. Back in 1993, Whiten glued four baseballs to his hand back, and he ain’t trying to get a new member of the club. For those of you singing, “I love a Paredes,” I know. This would’ve been Ethel Merman’s best day in fantasy baseball. RIP, you bussin’ Queen. Any hoo! Hard to hit three homers and not be a schmotato, so I could see grabbing Paredes, but Cash is there. Cash’s favorite movie? Platoon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*wavy lines* Hey, what’s up, it’s back in March! This is awesome! I did a time travel! No, I don’t want to sell my crypto while it’s still at an all-time high! No, I don’t want to bet on Aaron Judge winning the MVP! I wanna draft Tyler Anderson and Tony Gonsolin and avoid Julio Urias and Walker Buehler. And draft Anderson and Gonsolin in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, just to freak everyone out! *Wavy lines* That was the best dream sequence ever. Surprised Dave Roberts didn’t bring in Clayton Kershaw to finish off the no-hitter. It was, after all, a gazillion pitches thrown by Tyler Anderson (8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.82). Towards the end, it seemed like he wanted the Angels to get a hit just to end his night. I got goose pimples for Tyler, since he could no longer feel his arms. I’m not casting aspersions on Anderson and Gonsolin but I think they both lost the same amount of weight in the preseason. 21 grams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Miles Mikolas (8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.62) or Paul Goldschmidt (6-for-8, 4 runs, 8 RBIs, and his 14th, 15th and 16th homer)? Which one do I talk about first?! What’s on 2nd? I don’t know. Third base! Au Shizz went Au Shizz three times in yesterday’s doubleheader. He’s hitting .349 on the year. He’s challenging Aaron Judge for the top of the Player Rater–Okay, not Judge, but the top 5? Yes, siree, Bob. “I’m sorry, Grey, I need more info on what Bob you want to call.” Siree! Not Siri! “Chillax, phonedaddy.” Shut up, Siri! Au Shizz is capping one of the best decades we’ve seen in baseball over the last ten years. As for Miles Mikolas, I literally turned on his no-hit bid as the Calm Itchell double was landing in center. Hey, am I starring in the fictional version of The Jinx as the young, and more handsome Robert Durst? “Kill them all…Why did I say that? Maybe I can say I was saying my favorite Metallica album?” While Mikolas isn’t quite this good — 7 .2 K/9, 1.8 BB/9, 3.72 xFIP — he’s capable of one of those 3.00-ish ERA seasons, or better, as he’s done once in his career already. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Someone should start a class action lawsuit against the fantasy baseball ‘perts who told you to draft Liam Hendriks (1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.61) in the top 25 overall. Almost as bad as the ones who were drafting Emmanuel Clase in the first four rounds, even if he did get yesterday’s win. It’s inexcusable. For shame! Andres Gimenez (2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) started the Chi City meltdown in the 9th, homering off of Banks — can’t take that to you — and then Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll. He should change his name to Josh, Naylor. Not as in his last name is Josh and it’s on an official government document, but as in “Gosh, Naylor.” I barely know her, but now we’re making eyes and I’m intrigued. Josh Naylor went 3-for-5, 8 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, hitting .338, one of which was a grand salami of Hendriks, who I can imagine might’ve had some choice words afterwards — afterwords? Josh Naylor H.A.M. has been hot for a bit, but these were first homers in May. He’s a big-time power and hit-tool guy who has never clicked, maybe, pause for effect, until now. He could be Cleveland’s answer to Ty France. Call him Josh Ohio. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sun beating down across a desert landscape. Sweat beading from my forehead. I lift a thermos to my face and spray my face with liquid to freshen myself. “I think I just sprayed my face with urine,” I say to no one, because no one is around. A mirage from the sand rises; it’s Pegasus. The horsey with wings kneels in front of me so I can get on. Pegasus turns to me and says, “I need to get you to an internet cafe so you can put Ronald Acuña Jr. in your lineup.” Thank you, Pegasus! Thank you, Ronald Acuña Jr.! Thank you, Tildaddy! Okay, now I’m just singing that crappy Alanis song, Thank you. I really needed Acuña (1-for-5, 1st and 2nd steal, hitting leadoff). Now stay on the field, Tildaddy says it’s October! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At the same time the Red Sox signed Trevor Story, the Yankees signed Marwin Gonzalez. The oneupmanship between these two teams is just so hard to keep up with! Will cover Marwin in a few, but in some ways the Yankees replaced Luke Voit and Gary Sanchez all in one full swoop. Ya know, a guy who doesn’t play like Voit, while also being a guy not one fan is happy with like Sanchez. Mean’s while, the Red Sox went out and added Trevor Story to play 2nd base, and my mouth fell open and I started drooling when I saw the Expected Homers by Story if he called Fenway his home park last year. This stat is in general an absolute goof that you shouldn’t pay too much attention to, but I’ve never seen someone with such a huge difference before between actual and expected homers. He had 19 expected homers in Coors last year (actually hit 24) and his expected homers in Fenway was 38 homers. That is comical. Last year, Story hit 35.5% to center and 27.3% to right. That’s a decent amount the other way (32nd in the majors) and little above average to center. In Fenway, you want to badonkadonk off the wall as many times as you can. Not so you can scare people on Lansdowne, or at least not only that reason. You wanna hit doodie shots off the wall for the doodie doubles. Like a PETA-sanctioned vet, Story has pulled more balls previously, so maybe he returns to that, but he’s been getting beat by fastballs, not exactly turning on them. Why does this sound negative? Because I think people’s first reaction is to think Story just got much better, but as Rudy’s hitter projections show, this was a pretty neutral move from Coors. Not bad, but things didn’t get much better. That extra eligibility doesn’t hurt though. Well, it doesn’t hurt Story. Where my Jarren Duran truthers at? You need a hug? Updated were my shortstops rankingstop 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lionel Richie, “Say you…

Suzuki, “Seiya…”

All together, “Say it for always…That’s the way it should be!”

And he’s signed by the Cubs! Um, Seiya Suzuki not Lionel Richie, Though, how’s Lionel’s arm? The Cubs could use a starter. “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?” That’s Lionel Richie picking up the bullpen phone. All right, enough giggles, this move’s got me all fired up! Seiya Suzuki just landed in a top five situation. The lineup around him is whatever, but that’s better for him. No way the Cubs pull any nonsense like platooning him or resting him more than he needs. As the new Cubs starter Lionel Richie would say, “We’re going to Party, Karamu, Fiesta, forever!” Also, Wrigley gives Seiya the little extra bang for his power buck that you want to see. Saw him as a 23-29 homer guy. A much bigger range than you want, but he landed in a solid spot that will give him the top-end of his homer range. “I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that Seiya just can’t lose!” That’s right, Lionel! Finally, Seiya’s speed was likely five to 12 range. Again, big range, bigger than you want, but he prolly lands on the high-end of that because the Cubs won’t slow him. “Woo-oh, what a feeling (Woo-oh, what a feeling).” I got it too, Lionel! I’ve done a big update on the outfielders rankings and moved Seiya up to the top 40 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball, and he’s now on the tail-end of the top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Also, my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball has been updated. For a huge breakdown of Seiya, check out Coolwhip’s Seiya Suzuki fantasy. It’s worth the read. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baseball is back!

After months of shaking our heads and gnashing our teeth, the stars and the planets finally aligned, allowing the owners to begrudgingly open their wallets and end the lockout. We have to wait a little longer for the season to start, but Opening Day is less than a month away and we will still get to have a full 162-game season.

All is right with the world now (except for everything else that is going wrong with the world right now. But let’s not worry about that. We’re here to talk baseball!)

So now what?

Perhaps the league(s) you play in were on hold during the strikeout just as the players were. Just as MLB free agents are scrambling to find jobs with a team, you may now be scrambling to get ready for your upcoming draft. But don’t fret, you’ve been (hopefully) getting your draft strategy secured and trying to figure out who should go where in every round.

The thing about rankings…

When it comes to ranking anything, there is always a bias. Grey may not like Jack Flaherty (Fantasy Outlook For 2022) as much as I do, but since these are my rankings, I am right and he is wrong. My friend last year said I reached for Robbie Ray. Guess who had the last laugh. My rankings also reflect my bias in that I like hitters more and young players more than old players as I want to build a team that will win for years. But you may want to load up on the top veteran players on the board and then try to snag up-and-coming youngsters on the backend of the draft.

That is a valid approach to building a dynasty team. But for now, I am assuming you are building your dynasty team from the ground up and want as many of the top, young players as possible.

So, let’s get to the rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?